Take It Back, by Kia Abdullah

Short Take: Not a new story, but told from a new perspective.

(*Note: I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.*)

Good morning, duckies! Outside my window, the world is a winter wonderland. Although I HATE being cold, there’s just something magical about the first snow of the year, isn’t there? Being curled up under a handmade blanket, reading a book, drinking something hot and possibly spiked, twinkly lights…. I might be mellowing in old age. Maybe. Or maybe it’s just that I don’t have to leave the house today, so I have the luxury of not caring how miserable it is out there.

But in here, it’s all about the books, and this one is definitely worth the blanket-time. By turns frustrating and heartbreaking, Take It Back never stops being thought-provoking, even when the thoughts are uncomfortable.

Being a 16 year old girl is terrible. Being a 16 year old girl with no dad and a mother who’s basically a bundle of dirty clothes and alcohol fumes is worse. And being a 16 year old girl with no dad, an alcoholic mom, and an extreme facial deformity is the worst of all.

Meet Jodie. She’s doing her best to navigate all of the obstacles listed above, along with the usual high school misery exacerbated by her best frenemy when the unthinkable happens. She’s raped by four of the most popular boys at school in East London. These boys, however, happen to be Muslim, and Jodie is white. It’s a powder keg of a situation already, but only gets touchier when Zara Kaleel, who is also Muslim, becomes Jodie’s victim advocate for the case.

I’m not going to say a lot about the plot of Take It Back. I think that anyone who watches Law & Order SVU regularly (and if you’re reading my reviews, you are clearly a fan, right?) can predict most of the turns in the case. The boys all corroborate each other’s stories, evidence is ambiguous, and Jodie is nobody’s idea of the “perfect victim” to send to court. (and just as a side note: Yes, it’s grotesque that in rape trials, the victim usually doesn’t even get a trial unless they fit into a “perfect victim” ideal and I could write a multi-page screed on that, but I won’t).

What I’m here to rave about is Zara, and let me just say, I love me some Zara, with the kind of love I reserve for the Hottest of Messes. Zara was raised by traditional Muslim, immigrant parents who want their daughter to have the best of the New World (top-notch education, blazing career) but maintain the trappings of the Old World (arranged marriage, subservience to men). Do I need to point out how hard walking that line has been for her? Zara definitely tried - she excelled in school, became a barrister (lawyer for us Yanks) in an upper echelon firm, and even gave the arranged marriage a shot.

But when she realized that her parents’ dreams weren’t her own, she gave up the marriage & the job to become a victim’s advocate, earning a pittance and doing work that everyone around her thinks is a waste of her life.

All of that sounds great and noble, and sure, it is. But Zara isn’t perfect either, and you can’t exactly blame her for occasionally trying to quiet her inner turmoil with the help of diazepam or inappropriate men or both. She’s a good person who sometimes makes bad decisions, who can jump to the wrong conclusion or focus on the wrong part of the picture. And this case forces her to choose sides within herself (woman or Muslim?), within her family, and within the legal community.

And did I mention that I. Love. Her.

I just wish that the supporting case was fleshed out a little more. Jodie is kind of a cipher - a born victim, who may be harboring a secret sadistic streak, or maybe not. I never really got a feel for her (but that could be intentional, so we don’t know what exactly happened till the end). The four boys fall into easy stereotypes - there’s the serious, responsible one, the clown, the leader, the bully. Nina, Jodie’s best friend, is the Narcissistic Mean Girl. It’s all just a touch too simple.

And as a final note, I live right next door to Steubenville Ohio, a real-life town that has become synonymous with high-school gang rape. I’ve seen how this plays out in real time, within my own community. The case here didn’t have the added stressors of religion or ethnicity conflicts, true, so I am far from an expert. But I think that Ms. Abdullah did a wonderful job of pulling in the wider world outside the courtroom, with protestors on both sides being whipped into a frenzy by a hungry, remorseless media.

Now, my beloved nerdlings, I’m going to crawl back under my blanket, and if I don’t talk to all of you before the end of the year, I hope that whatever holiday you celebrate is lovely.

The Nerd’s Rating: FOUR HAPPY NEURONS (and a spicy curry, with a Christmas fudge chaser. Don’t ask.)

I work in the judicial branch so I love legal dramas. This was a dark, twisty read. It will be a wonderful pick for book clubs, I just know it.

Take It Back by Kia Abdullah is a gut-wrenching story of rape, of racism, of deceit, and of privilege. Zara Kaleel is a lawyer and a Muslim. She had been with a high-powered firm but determined that she would be better served working somewhere that she made a difference so she is now a rape counselor at Artemis House, non-profit legal center. She has a complicated life, coming from a strict home and an arranged marriage, to having a white boyfriend, she isn't sure she wants. None of this should affect her job and yet it does. Jodie Wolfe is a sixteen year-old high school girl who has been raped and comes to Artemis House for help. She is a victim of a disease commonly known as Elephantiasis, which has drastically affected her facial features. She claims to have been raped by four boys, all Muslim; she is white. She wants to file charges. She has been smart, she saved the clothing so there is evidence. It gets very complicated as rape trials tend to. It is about rape, but it is so much more.

This is an extremely emotional book, on many levels. I normally do not read rape books-I find them too difficult. This story is difficult, but worth the read. It shows Zara's community turning on her because she is different. The same community wants to protect these boys despite the fact they may be guilty. It is also about how Zara's life can impact her client's trial. I do not have the words to give this book the review it deserves. It is complicated. It looks at different strata of society, different belief systems, not only religion. It is complicated and hurtful. Read it for yourself. It is worth the trauma. I recommend it.

I was invited to read a free ARC of Take It Back by Netgalley. All opinions contained herein are solely my own. #netgalley #takeitback

Jodi is a young girl with a serious facial deformation. She’s thrown into the spotlight when she accuses four Muslim co-students of rape. Her sexual assault counselor, Zara, is there to support her but is up against the Muslim community and her family for her position. As the trial ensues, everyone wishes they could just take it back.

This was a page turner! It was very difficult to put down. There is a lot of depth to it besides the mystery of who is lying... because you know there’s two sides of the story AND the truth. The author did a wonderful job of showing the complexities of race within trials and investigations. Entire communities swayed, violence in the streets, poor family reactions, lawyers and accused exposed to dangers.. it’s all there. It was interesting reading a British legal thriller to because of the slight differences (eg. the judge being called “my lord”. The best part of the book.. right when you think you know how it ends, you got quite a few more shocks.

“Oppression doesn’t spread through men with guns, or bombs on trains. Oppression spreads when women like you tell their daughters to marry a certain man, or wear a certain dress, or work a certain job. It happens when women like you tell us - gently and with all the love in the world- not to peek above the parapet, instead to stay at home, to be quite, to be kind, to be good.”

Take it Back comes out 12/8.

Woah, hard to put together my thoughts on this book. It was intense. The rape, the culture war; there was so many important issues spoken about in this book; that it made the story that much more real and intense. With that said, I was completely immersed in this story and I did not want to put it down.
I also liked how realistic it was and could see it happening in a community in present day.
This is the first book I’ve read by the author and it definitely won’t be the last!!

From my blog: Always With a Book:

I love books that evoke such intense reactions and this book does that and a whole lot more. It's one that will keep you guessing from start to finish, one that will make you uncomfortable and one that is so powerful it will stay with you long after you read the last page. This is a book that I know I will not be forgetting anytime soon!

I have really come to love legal thrillers but this one is so much more than just a legal thriller. This story is one that will have you questioning everyone from start to finish and I found that as we got deeper into the story, I wavered on my opinion numerous times. I found that at one point or another, I believed everyone and couldn't decide who was lying and who was telling the truth.

This is such a thought-provoking, emotionally gripping read. Jodie, a white girl with severe facial deformities accuses four Muslim boys of rape and of course they deny the allegations. Who is telling the truth? Instead of going straight to the police, Jodie goes to Artemis House, where she meets Zara, an ex-lawyer who is now working as a rape counselor.

This book kept me hooked from the start and I found that I could not put it down. I was totally invested in everyone's stories. I loved that we really got to know Zara and her background. She is a force to be reckoned with and I loved that even when things got tough, she didn't back down. This book is full of tension, and the twists and turns only add to that.

This is a hardhitting, intense book that packs quite a punch. It broke my heart time and again and left me questioning the characters intentions over and over, and has an ending that left me completely stunned.

I am so glad that this is the start of a new series. To know that we will be able to see more of Zara makes this reader one happy girl...now to wait til I can get my hands on book 2! In the meantime, I highly recommend picking this one up!

PHEW - this book. Jodie, a British girl with facial deformities, who has endured a lifetime of ridicule - even from her best friend, accuses 4 Muslim boys of raping her. The media is going to eat this up ... especially since Zara, a Muslim woman, is heading Jodie's case. Not only is this a rape case where it seems like everyone is lying, but it's also about race and loyalty to your ethnicity. Zara faces a ton of backlash and considered a traitor. When a rape trial turns into a race war.... Uff, y'all... this one is tough to read at times.

I know that sometimes legal thrillers can be a hit or miss for most people... I actually love reading them. Sometimes they make such fascinating reads... although I will agree that it can seem somewhat repetitive.. well, welcome to law my friends. Legal thrillers can also sometimes be a touch slow but in TAKE IT BACK, it launches from the get go and the legal part comes barreling at you towards the last half. Put your seat belt and helmet on and welcome to this emotional roller coaster of a ride.

"There will be moments in your life when you must decide in an instant."

This book touches on why it's so hard sometimes to still want to live within your ethnic culture in a different land. Where do the lines blur? How much pressure does this put on everyone, teenager or adult alike? Can you modernize tradition without losing your family in the process or do you continually feel oppressed? And when do you stop being what everyone else expects you to be and start being you? ..... But let's also get back to the actual legal case that's happening because ..... well, I just can't spoil anything for y'all. It's a LOT. I did not expect it to go where it went. I found myself literally gasping, covering my mouth with my hand and tearing up. I'd like to blame this on the pandemic, but ultimately I became so engaged in this story. And while it might feel like all of these characters are hard to love... they're really not... well not all of them anyways.

I tried everything to get into this book. I don’t know if it was the wording or if the premise was too much but I did not finish about 8% in. I thought the story sounded like it would be something up my alley but I just couldn’t grasp it.

This was a very intense and sensitive story. It's the story you a young girl. A young girl who has horrible face deformities. Who has been made fun of most of her life. Now in high school she is like any other teenaged young lady. She has hopes and dreams. She has a crush. She has a friend. A best friend. Her whole life is shattered in an instant though. Trusting the wrong person changes her life completely. One crush and her life will never be the same.

Four boys, Amir, Hassan, Farid, and Mohammad, are accused of the unthinkable. Are they guilty? Did they do this horrible thing they are accused of? They will face a jury. One will die. Someone is lying. Is it Jodie or the boys? Did Jodie make it all up because the boy she had the crush on hurt her. Laughed at her. Mocked her. Or did it really happen. Did the four boys lie.

This book is about four young boys and a young girl. All are high school children. All are in the middle of something horrible. Who is guilty and who is innocent. Who lied. Who is telling the truth. This is a very well written, very thought provoking story. A story of innocence lost. At what cost?

This book certainly touches on several subjects. From a horrible, brutal, rape? Possibly. To racism. To brutality. From five students whose lives will honestly never be the same again. Someone is lying but who? Did this really happen? Or is it a fabrication. Are they guilty of assault? Or just innocent boys who are unjustly accused?

This book literally threw me. I thought I had it all figured out. I was so wrong. This is a very emotional story. A very hard one in places. The characters are likable. Even some of the boys. I really like Zara. Jodie, I'm on the fence with her. Just because!! I do feel sorry for her though. She didn't deserve to be treated so horribly from everyone, including her so called best friend or her horrible mother.

Thank you to #NetGalley, #KiaAbdullah, #StMartin'sPress for this ARC. These are my own thoughts about this book.
I had to give this one 5/5 stars. It's well deserved. A must read.
I"m posting on all the sights on December 8th, 2020

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for a copy of this novel in exchange for an honest review.

This book follows Jodie, a teenage victim of rape by 4 of her classmates, who happen to be immigrants. Jodie has a facial deformation and others are finding it hard to believe her that this would happen.

Zara is her lawyer and is also an immigrant herself. She endures grief from her community for agreeing to take on this case against these boys.

There is a twist in the case...and then another twist that I didn't see coming.

This was a quick read.

I read Take It Back in one sitting because I had to know what was going to happen and then I couldn't get to sleep after I finished. It's that kind of book.

The story centers on a London teenager who accuses four classmates of gang rape. Complicating matters is the fact that she's a disabled white girl and they're Muslim. Jodie, the alleged victim, is poor and has a terrible facial deformity. When she seeks help from Zara Kaleel, a former lawyer who now advocates for those who've experienced sexual abuse, she finds an ally when even her mother and best friend don't believe that four handsome boys from hardworking families would stoop to attacking her. Soon everyone's lives are turned upside down - Jodie's, the boys' and most of all Zara's whose Muslim family and community brand her a traitor - and as the case goes to trial, the he said/she said escalates racial tensions to a dangerous point.

This is not an easy read. Abdullah writes such realistic scenes about sexual assault, about how victims are vilified, about how the accused suffer before being convicted and about religious and racial biases that it can be difficult to get through but it is so worth it. I suppose you could classify Take It Back as a thriller or suspense but in my opinion, it's a psychological drama that takes on all of the ugly prejudices on our world today with an authenticity and honesty that forces you to examine your own biases. This is an uncomfortable and important book and one that I won't soon forget.

Thanks to NetGalley, St. Martin's Press and the author for an advanced copy to review.

This book was a lot to handle and process. Heavy themes - sexual assault/trial, islamophobia, deformity, bad home life to name a few - and despite that kitchen sink varietal and it being a court room drama which I am not into, a good execution by the author in my opinion. Thanks to Netgalley for the free copy in exchange for an honest review

A child that is bullied builds a shell to hide thoughts and feelings. Kindness has to be rebuffed because there is no longer trust. Even a brutal act only tears a small hole. This story tore me apart.

Take It Back will probably make you feel something. The story of a girl being gang-raped by four boys will do that to you. Throw in racism and religious bigotry and the author is trying to get everyone in there. Which tribe are you in here? It may be more than one. It was THIS close to being great. It just tried too hard for twists, in my opinion. The beginning seemed exploitive and I was ready to put it down for another. As soon as Jodie showed up, I was in.

Jodie has a physical disability that others have bullied her about her entire life. Amir has always been her secret crush. Everyone knows it. So when he approaches her at a party, she is flattered. She doesn't know she will be changing her life forever. Zara, once a high-powered attorney, now works with victims of sexual abuse. She believes Jodie and supports her even after her family and the Muslim community turn on her for it. The protection of your own children or your own community is natural, however the violence of an act should over shadow tribalism. What does it say about the world?

The story is told through the point of view of Zara, Jodie, and the four boys accused. This is meant to sow doubt in the reader about all of their stories. In fact, as in real life, you probably should assume that everyone is coming from a POV of self interest and self protection.

You will possibly feel anger, sadness, disgust, tension, pity....something. You may love it or you may hate it, but you will feel something,

Wow. I wasn’t expecting the ending on this one! I felt as though the long chapters and the attention paid to detail may have taken away from my enthusiasm for how this story played out. I typically enjoy a courtroom story and while I can say I liked this story, it did drag out a bit at times. I did appreciate the inclusion of details about the Asian / Muslim aspect as I haven’t read a lot of books that involve this religion and I felt as though I started to learn more about it. Overall would recommend this one and I am looking forward to giving a chance to book number two.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read this in exchange for my honest opinion.

WOW!! This is the perfect book to read when you want to add some excitement to your reading life. Be prepared because once you start it, you won't want to put it down.

Zara is a top lawyer in London with her life in two very different areas. On one hand she is a well respected and successful lawyer, on the other she is part of a Muslim family who don't understand or approve of her job or her lifestyle. She's left the law practice and gone to work for a group who helps women who are sexually abused. She is given the case of Jodie, a sixteen-year-old girl with facial deformities who is accusing four boys in her class of rape. They are all handsome hard working young men from immigrant families and they all have alibis for the night on the group rape. Neither Jodie's mom nor her best friend believe her story and accuse her of lying. Once the media is tipped off the story causes a great outcry from the immigrant community. Zara's family begs her not to work on the case because it sends a bad message that a Muslim woman would prosecute four young Muslim men. But Zara is convinced that she must fight for Jodie and for justice to be done no matter the outcome for her or her community. The Muslim community is convinced that the boys were innocent - why would four handsome young men be interested in a monster like Jodie when they could have anyone they wanted. Who is telling the truth - Jodie who may want revenge against the boys or the boys for taking advantage of a young woman? Will justice be given to the guilty and can it even be determined who is guilty and who is telling the truth?

This book is an intense look at justice, rape, religion, the media and public opinion. It was well written and kept the tension high throughout the entire book. I couldn't put it down once I started and it's a book that I won't soon forget. I'm excited to find out that this is the first book of a new series and can't wait to read about Zara again.

Readers, take notice! Take It Back is a stunning, twisted courtroom drama that raises the bar for legal thrillers. Highly compulsive, shocking, powerful . . . a real page burner of she said/they said. When a sixteen year old girl comes to Artemis House to report being lured away from a party and raped by four classmates, Zara Kaleel is assigned her case. Zara shocked family and friends when she left her lucrative career as a lawyer to become a sexual assault counselor seeking justice for victims of assault. Upon hearing Jodie's story, she believes her and sets out to prove her case. Little does she know, she's just opened Pandora's Box and the repercussions will change life as she, the victim, the accused and every person in town knows it.

Jodie Wolf was born with a horrifying facial deformity. Shunned and bullied by classmates, her life as a sixteen year old white girl is one of isolation and loneliness. And yet, she experiences all the emotions typical teenage girls feel including an attraction to a popular muslim boy - although she knows he sees her as a monster. Imagine her surprise when said boy approaches her at a party, convincing her he wants to help her. The devastating events later that night shatter her fragile world, leading to a tsunami of which she later says, "I wish I could take it back". One white girl with a disability and her muslin counselor chasing demons of her own vs. 4 popular muslim boys from hardworking immigrant families - all with solid alibis. It's a case of he said/she said, and the gloves are off. Who will you believe?

Author Kia Abdullah has rendered a stunning, heart wrenching story covering some major issues including race, religion, culture, politics, sexual assault, prejudice and disabilities. Tackling all these issues in one book is a huge undertaking, but Abdullah does so with expertise and care as she maneuvers the minefield of sexual assault among a society that believes women belong in the home. Much of this story plays out through explosive courtroom scenes surrounded by a frenzied media circus - all serving to enrage a highly volatile town torn apart by political, racial and religious views. The drama unfolding is unsettling and yet so real you can smell the sweat, tears, and fear. The author's skillful manipulation of both characters and readers is simply magnificent as the revelations just keep coming.

To say Take It Back is cunning and shocking and heartbreaking is an understatement. The complex, disturbing, and highly compulsive narrative drew me in and kept me burning through pages to get at the truth. Driven by a steadily increasing pace and sense of some unknown, I found myself totally captivated as I devoured page after page, chapter after chapter . . . constantly changing my mind about whose story to believe. When the truth was finally revealed, I sat there in shock. Wow. Never saw that one coming. Well done, Kia Abdullah. I can't wait for book 2! Take It Back is powerful, authentic, eye opening, and in many ways . . . educational. I highly recommend it to fans of courtroom and suspense thrillers.

This is a very intense page-turner ! Clashes of race, religion and culture abound in this highly emotionally charged courtroom drama. A young, deformed white girl claims she has been raped by four Muslim boys in east London. The trail is a media frenzy with demonstrations and threats made to all involved. A riveting book that is difficult to put down.

Take It Back by Kia Abdullah is a highly recommended, thought provoking courtroom drama.

Zara Kaleel gave up her career as a lawyer and now works as a victims advocate at a sexual assault center. Her legal background means she is astute and able to support and help victims beyond the ordinary. When Jodie Wolfe, a sixteen-year-old girl, comes into the center and accuses four boys of sexual assault, Zara is quick to assist her. However, this is no simple case. It is sure to be a hot topic and could cause an explosive situation in the community because Jodie was born with neurofibromatosis which results in facial deformities. She has been an outcast her whole life, even at home, while the boys accused are all English Muslims from East London. Zara herself is Muslim. In this one case issues of sex, race, class, and social justice collide and the media storm and outrage from both sides immediately begins.

Once the novel takes off it is hard to know who to believe or if any of the teens involved are telling the whole truth. Abdullah does an excellent job presenting the case on both sides and all of the characters are portrayed as individuals, with strengths and weaknesses. The story told by all parties on both sides differs and the trial needs to uncover the truth. Cultural differences come into play too and you will wonder if Zara's own prejudices are influencing her. The frenzy caused by the media is captured perfectly.

The chapters in the novel are narrated by multiple characters and cover events in the past as well as the current situation, helping to make all the characters well rounded individuals. The differences in cultural beliefs based on gender and snap judgments made by society clashed with Zara's beliefs and Jodie's background. Each new chapter added more information and made the case even more complex. It is a difficult novel to read, but it is well worth the effort.

I was firmly going to give Take It Back my highest rating until the end. I've been vacillating back and forth over it. No spoilers here. I was shocked by the twist at the end, but I also thought that a good lawyer would have had many more questions rather than acceptance of last minute evidence and wanted to have it examined by a professional. And then the next twist left me feeling that the twists just didn't seem to fit in with the rest of an excellent novel in several different ways. It is definitely a novel worth reading and would make an excellent choice for book clubs.

Disclosure: My review copy was courtesy of St. Martin's Publishing Group.
After publication the review will be posted on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

A novel of our times, worth-reading.

Take It Back is a gritty, mystery-cum-courtroom drama set in London. We are introduced to Jodie Wolfe, a teenager with a stark facial disfigurement from a medical condition. The hapless young girl informs our other protagonist, Zara Kaleel, that she was gang-raped by four Muslim boys at an after party. Amir Rabbani, Hassan Tanweer, Mohammed Ahmed, and Farid Khan went to the same high school as Jodie. Often at personal sacrifice, Zara makes it her mission to get justice for Jodie.

The novel has a plot relevant to our society. The 6 main characters are nuanced and well-developed. The twists keep coming to keep the interest in the novel high. The courtroom scene starts at the halfway point.

Zara Kaleel, in her thirties, left her top-flight career as a young barrister to become a legal counselor at a sexual assault centre, supporting rape victims. She's at odds with her traditional Muslim family, whom she keeps at arm's length about her career and romantic choices, which includes dating white men.

Lacking a support system, Zara is an engaging, relatable, flawed character, who's intelligent, but also conflicted, with addiction issues. As an aside: is caution to the author and publisher about the risks of taking 2 diazepam at a time and giving it up cold turkey. Check with Drs; sudden withdrawal can result in death.

Before long, social media, newspapers and TV follow the case obsessively. The rat pack follows Jodie, Zara and the 4 boys around, squat at their doorsteps, and make confrontational announcements on media about rape, racism, as well as personal attacks on the 6 main actors. Mob tensions ensue.

The police officer, Mia, and investigator, Erin, are other interesting characters.

This is a confronting read which can trigger those who've experienced sexual assault and even racial abuse. There are explicit accounts of rape, aggression, and racist conflict.

Kia Abdullah effectively ratchets up the tension, with the reader never sure whether Jodie or the alleged perpetrators are telling the truth. The author lets us philosophise about these issues of our time: racism, terrorist attacks, sexual assault. I commend the author for revealing that, like in the police's world, the truth isn't what decides a criminal case. Instead it's the evidence or lack thereof, and how the actors are portrayed by their lawyers, their perceived integrity or honesty, though it may be at odds with reality. The jurors' and public perception is often turned 180 degrees from the truth.

The ending however, did seem to serve the needs of a final couple of twists rather than a satisfying conclusion. Did the publisher constrain the word count that this twist couldn't be resolved? How plausible was Jodie's action in the last few pages? However, this question does not spoil my enjoyment of this superb novel.

Take it Back is a page-turning read that deals well with tough subject matter, never in a gratuitous way. There are spades of compassion, empathy, a belief in humanity and depth of coverage of all the issues. I will definitely be reading Kia Abdullah’s next novel.

Thanks to Netgalley and St Martin's Press for an advance reader's copy in exchange for an honest review.

This review also appears in Goodreads and https://thereadersvault.blogspot.com.