Member Reviews
This is a debut novel from this American author, who is also a psychiatrist and mental health advocate. The story revolves around the expectations of women of Indian heritage placed on them by their families. Simran is engaged to a med student and pursuing a Masters degree in Psychology, but is not happy or feeling fulfilled. Her mother is a doctor, but resents all the other responsibilities that are on her shoulders when compared to her husband, who is also a doctor. The grandmother who lives in India did not have the chances her granddaughter has and she also feels she failed her daughter. The book follows the lives of the three women as they find their way. This is a good recommendation for customers who like stories of family dynamics and are interested in the roles of women in society.
WELL-BEHAVED INDIAN WOMEN was simply captivating. The characters, especially Nandini and Simran, were genuine, flawed, lovably relatable characters and Dave’s writing drew me in from the first sentence. This issues of cultural and gendered expectations were woven seamlessly with challenges in relationships, communication, finding purpose, and the worlds between and around mothers and daughters. A favorite character was Kunal who was written in such a way that I found myself constantly voting for and against him. The sense of place conveyed through both descriptions of New York and India is masterful, and I couldn’t put this book down. I look forward to more books from this author.
Expectations and culture collide with desire and ambition in this contemporary story of 3 generations of Indian women from the same family. Simran is our main character and the youngest pf the women in her family. She is studying for a degree in Psychology and is engaged to be married; but she isn’t happy with any of it. Nandini is her mother with secrets and ambitions of her own. Mimi is the matriarch and has been someone that Simran can trust with all that she holds inside.
This was a easy read and very realistic. It is not your traditional contemporary book but I highly recommend it.
The story follows three generations of mothers and daughters: Simran Mehta, her mother Nandini, and her grandma, Mami. All of them feel misunderstood by each other, and the plot follows each of their plights, as they struggle to find themselves and confront their past.
This is a difficult review for me to write; as an Indian-American begging for representation, I was overjoyed to see this story, especially a women-centric one. But it’s important to note I bring so much of my own baggage with wanting representation, which is impossible for me to shake.
I didn’t want to discount the connection I had to these characters because we come from the same culture; I inherently understood their perspective, so that added tremendous value to the story for me. Then, I became frustrated, wondering if that is a fair basis to give a glowing review. But what if that’s a connection that has always already existed between white authors, readers, and characters? I wouldn’t know.
That being said, I loved what this book addressed: the expectations of South Asian culture and its inherent sexism. How hard it is to follow your heart, whether in love or your career. How the culture requires silence and submission from women, how that is both a strength and an impossible burden.
But...I couldn’t get into the book. It was in present tense (we know I can’t do present tense), so I was never fully immersed in the story. The narrative felt disjointed at certain parts; sometimes, the entire plot was in the dialogue, other times it was told directly to the reader. There were time gaps that confused me, and pivotal scenes happened off the page.
I’ve decided I can’t rate this book, really. I am tremendously grateful that this exists, but, at the end of the day, I wasn’t invested in the story. I don’t know if that’s because of my own reading preferences, or because, ironically, my own experiences are too close to the story. Pick this up on July 14th & tell me what you think!
Netgalley and Berkeley Books provided this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Really enjoyed this one. Saumya smartly introduces readers to three generations of Indian women. It’s enlightening and entertaining.
I loved this story about three generations of women living a modern life with cultural expectations and pressures. From the grandmother in India to her daughter Nandini, a family physician in America, to Nandini’s daughter Simran, ready to finish school and marry the love of her life – all three are on the brink of change.
Saumya Dave had me at page one – completely invested in her characters and the challenges they faced with admirable courage. I was inspired and can’t wait to read more from this talented author. Well-Behaved Indian Women would make a fabulous film.
NetGalley ARC | If you are looking for a poignant and inspiring multicultural upcoming July 2020 book release for and about women, don't miss Well-Behaved Indian Women.
I am not going to lie: this one is a slowwwww burn, and I'm not 200% on board with the pacing. However, I am so glad that I picked up a copy of this gorgeous read.
Follow three generations of women across India and New York City as they overcome discrimination, sexism, and traditional family expectations. Living your truest life is a huge part of this story, and I am all in.
Extremely relevant today, I applaud Dave for her ending, too--which threw me for a loop but made the story even more powerful.
You can see my complete review on The Uncorked Librarian: https://theuncorkedlibrarian.com/july-2020-book-releases/
Thank you to the author and publisher for a free advanced copy in exchange for a fair and honest review.
Saumya Dave’s Well-Behaved Indian Women is in insightful look at the relationship between Indian mothers and daughters, the pressure in that culture to follow tradition, and the effects of stepping outside of tradition to follow one’s dreams. Dave’s exploration into Nandini’s and Simran’s relationship is heartfelt and authentic. Although this novel is about Indian women, I think many women would see parallels between themselves and their mothers and/or daughters. With a relationship as complicated as that, compounded by the pressures of a close-knit community, it’s no wonder conflict arises when things go other than planned. This story really makes you think about whether or not following tradition and familial expectations is worth stifling your dreams and yourself. A beautiful read.
Mimi Kadakia was the perfect Indian woman while her husband was alive, but she will never forget how she failed her daughter. Nandini Mehta moved to America with her new husband in an effort to ensure her future children would never have to go to through what she did. Despite thinking this will be a fresh start for her too, she is so focused on being the perfect Indian wife that she lets opportunities slip away. Simran Mehta has always been a bit of a wildcard and perhaps that is why her parents have no faith in her ability to be an adult. She dated her high school sweetheart (and now fiancé) behind her parents back for years, she rejected becoming a doctor to study psychology, and now she is blowing up her entire life. A look into the pressures of being the perfect Indian woman though three generations and how it leads to an ongoing struggle to define themselves.
I loved this book so much. First of all, the generational aspect was amazing. I loved getting to know all three women as individuals, but it was even more satisfying to learn about their relationships with one another (especially as they were learning how to better communicate with each other). It also allowed the reader to draw parallels between the struggles of these women, while noting the many differences between their circumstances.
Can we talk about the men in this book? Women's fiction or not, I was grateful for their presence. They added an additional layer of depth -- learning how their culture impacts them, their relationships with their children, and their perspectives of the women were invaluable. Not to mention they were just interesting characters. But ALL of the characters in this book were amazing (even Ranjit's meddling family), so it should come as no surprise.
Someone option this as a movie, please.
Simran has grown up as a typical Indian daughter. She is expected to do well in school, and be successful, but more importantly get married and care for all of her husbands needs. Her family is very judgmental of her little “hobby” of writing. On the plus side though, she is engaged. When life takes a few turns, her fiancée spends the summer overseas and she takes off to visit her Grandmother in India. Her time there helps her see what she really wants out of life, whether it fits into her families wants or not.
Ok so I recently also read The Trouble With Hating You, and I have to say both of these books were fascinating to me. I loved learning more about Indian culture, especially when it comes to women. What I loved about this book was that Simran explored what was expected of her, but also learned how she wanted her life to go. I loved seeing her growth throughout the story. It was also really interesting to see the men and how they felt they were so different from their fathers, yet when it came down to it they had the same expectations. I highly recommend grabbing this one when it comes out on July 14th!
Thank you to Berkley for my gifted copy of this book!
This was a really heartwarming and heart-wrenching story about three inter-generational women. I felt connected to each of the characters. Their voices were authentic and the cultural drama was just right. So often authors write characters to the extreme, but I believed every moment of this book.
While this is a solid, sometimes sweet book by Saumaya Dave, it wasn't a favorite. Dave manages to convey the complexities of three generations of women, giving Indian women an authentic voice. I feel like it has shown how much Indian culture has had to change in a relatively short amount of time, and I appreciate that. I got very Jhumpa Lahiri/ Amy Tan vibes, but I think my issues mainly stem from the writing style. But recommended if you enjoy inter-generational stories and learning about new cultures.
Simran is going through a quarter life crises. She's questioning if she really wants a career in psychology or even marrying her high school sweetheart who finally proposed. Her mother, Nandini, immigrated to America as soon as she got married to have a better life for her children. This desire and her inability to tell her daughter her past in India drives a wedge between the mother and daughter. In the middle, trying to create peace, is Mimi, Simran's grandmother/Nandini's mother.
I didn't like Simran. I feel bad for being impatient with her because she didn't have an easy time following her heart. I was too invested in Nandini's story to care as much for Simran.
Nandini broke my heart. The way she was treated in India and in America made me root for her finding the happiness she denied herself for so long. You could feel the pit Nandini was in caused by the expectations of her in-laws and that she was expected to suffer in silence.
This is a well written book about unfair expectations society puts on women.
I received an ARC of this novel from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
A novel focusing on the cultural differences between arranged marriages and the lives of their American born daughters.
Thank you Berkley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review!
I really liked this one! A really fun, warm and drama filled story! I absolutely enjoyed it! This book delivers on Exposing the lives of three generations of women, of love and marriage and expectations and of personal journeys with public consequences. I felt a real personal connection to their stories because my best friend is from India, and I remember hearing their family stories and it reminded me a lot of their family. I think this book would be a fun one to read on the beach for a nice relaxing day!
loved this book, for the writing, the characters, but mostly for the description of the way a culture can influence you in both positive and negative ways. Simran feels conflicted, between becoming the good Indian daughter and fiancée following the expectations of her culture, or finding her own way and rejecting the norms. Although her mother, Nandini, has done some things her own way, she is still seeped in the way she was brought up. Throughout the book, both Nandini and Simran learn about where they are going and how they can become fulfilled. I highly recommend this debut novel, and thank Netgalley for the ARC.
A rich, contemporary family drama told with insight, humor and warmth. I really enjoyed Well-Behaved Indian Women, especially during this time when connection seems important, but illusive. This book delivers on its promise of revealing the lives of three generations of women, of love and marriage and expectations and of personal journeys with public consequences. I felt like part of the family and was happy to be included . Adding this to our Satellite Sisters list of Best Beach Bag Books 2020.
I’m always excited when I discover a debut desi author and when I first saw this book being promoted, I instantly fell in love with that cover. And despite it belonging to the women’s fiction genre (which I don’t read a lot), I decided I wanted to give it a try. And here I am after finishing it in a single sitting because I couldn’t put it down.
This is essentially a story about a mother and her daughter, both trying to understand each other and themselves better and also trying to make the right choices for the next phase of their life. The writing in this book is so accessible and easy to get lost in, that I didn’t even realize how much time had passed before I even took a break from my reading. The way the author captures the feelings, emotions, guilt, self hatred, confusion, ambition, and so much else about these two women - (who are the products of a very specific Indian patriarchal society that burdens the women to give their all for the sake of their families at the expense of their own needs and desires )- is thoughtful and poignant and very relatable. To be honest, I was frustrated and angry most of the time while reading the book, not because there was anything wrong with the story or characters but because of the exact opposite. It was too realistic and I felt like I was being shown a mirror of my own life (and future) and those of many women I know, and I frankly wasn’t ready to face it. And I have to commend the author for getting such a strong reaction out of me.
You may be thinking why is my review so short which is kinda unusual for me, but as I said, this book was brilliantly written and was too realistic in a way that made me uncomfortable and I didn’t want this review to become a personal rant. If you are someone who loves reading books about complicated women, their dreams, fears, ambitions and relationships, then I would definitely recommend this book to you. I loved the message that sometimes, it’s important for us women to standup for ourselves and being ambitious or indecisive, both are okay.
Thank you to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing Group for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Simran felt like her family would never understand her. Her writing was just a silly hobby to them and it was her degree in psychology that would make them proud. Meanwhile her mother, Nandini, feels that she has done everything she could to make her family's life easy and care-free. She has kept her mouth shut and often sacrificed her own time and energy for the well-being of her family. Mimi, failed her daughter, Nandini, but she has the chance to make things right with Simran.
I really liked this book. I appreciated the diverse read and insight into Indian culture. While culture played a large role in the plot as the three women figure out life as Indian women, it was done in a way that felt entirely natural. I was reading a book about Indian women, not reading a book that featured Indian women for diversity. This is something I truly appreciate about #ownvoices work.
I enjoyed the complexities of the women's relationships. Each have their reasons for doing things and each feel as thought they cannot be fully understood. What was fascinating was seeing the sacrifices they make for their family and the internal struggles they go through to find themselves while doing everything for their family.
This was a great read that will touch anyone as they contemplate their own sacrifices and what they've had to do to find themselves.
I loved this novel so much. It’s really well written.
After seven years of dating Kunal behind their parents’ backs, Simran and Kunal are engaged, right on schedule. Kunal is in medical school and Simran is almost finished with her master’s degree in psychology. Her parents think it’s cute but not impressive that she got a collection of her essays published by a small press. Writing is not a real career to her India-born parents, who’s coupling was the result of an arranged marriage. The fact that Simran got to choose her own mate should mean she has nothing to complain about.
But when she meets another writer she admires, she’s instantly drawn to him, and everything she thought she wanted from her life is called into question.
One of the great things about reading books is that you get to learn about other cultures—what is great about them and what you’re grateful is not part of your culture. The expectations of Simran’s mother Nandini would have driven me into an insane asylum—she’s a doctor, but she was forced to be a family physician with regular hours. She never has enough time for her patients, especially because she has to be the doctor to all of her family members and all of her in-laws while her husband got to be a surgeon with his own practice.
Simran travels to India where many girls stop their education when they begin to menstruate, sometimes getting married because their parents can’t afford her. The parents stress about coming up with a dowry. In America, Nandini and her husband are paying for everything, which in no way stops Kunal’s mother from demanding a whole heck of a lot.
This is a book about the ways women of all ethnic backgrounds sometimes don’t get to fully follow our dreams. There are complex characters and situations and no easy answers. Recommend.
Thanks so much to NetGalley for the opportunity to read this novel, which RELEASES July 14, 2020.