Maggie was only fifteen when her best friend Eve was murdered. Now Maggie is a detective on the Grotto police force, the same department that was unable to find Eve's killer. Twenty-five years have passed and finally, some new evidence is discovered. Maggie hopes to be able to solve this cold case if the killer doesn't stop her first.
This was the first book I have read by Heather Gudenkauf, and I am kicking myself for not finding her sooner. The story is well written and I fell into my favorite reading zone, just one more chapter and I'll put this book down. Chapters alternate between characters and events in 1995 when Eve died, and in the present. For Maggie, this case is quite personal and as she reviews the evidence and interviews, she realizes that many people had a motive to harm Eve. Her strange younger sister, her boyfriend, and a neighbor are just a few of the possibilities.
Every time I thought I figured out whodunnit and why the author introduced another twist. Even the final reveal, while not unexpected, still added another layer of suspense to the story. How many creepy abusive characters can live in one small town, and are any of them capable of murder? A page-turner and a satisfying murder mystery that kept me hooked from the first page to the last. There are many layers to Maggie's character and I was fascinated to see how this would end.

Heather Gudenkauf is on my “I’ll read whatever she writes” lists. Twists, turns, dips and sharp curves...this book has it all. Main characters are all flawed; some are hated, others pitied but they all have one thing in common, they all have secrets.

Eve and Maggie are best friends in a small Iowa town. Twenty five years ago Eve is found dead. Maggie’s dad is the local chief of police and vows to find Eve’s killer. Maggie is now a detective and 8 months pregnant when she picks up the cold case. Secrets and lies are uncovered.

Told in three voices...current day Maggie and 15 year old Eve, and Nola (Eve’s younger sister) present and past. The story flows seamlessly between the voices and is very easy to follow. The beginning of the story will have your blood pumping and have you vested in the story immediately.

Thanks to Ms Gudenkauf, Harlequin and NetGalley for this ARC. Opinion is mine alone.

Heather Gudenkauf's writing is absolutely reliable, and This is How I Lied is an excellent new story! I love her Iowa settings- Gudenkauf is masterful at describing the region and some of the particularities of smaller towns. The multiple viewpoints worked very well to set up the story and the action moved along at a good clip. This was a fast paced read, and I felt that the action did a great job setting up the mindset of the characters. Gudenkauf set up a story that had multiple possibilities for how it would end, and the final choice was satisfying.

For 25 years Maggie Kennedy-O'Keefe has lived with a terrible secret. When she was only 15 years old her best friend Eve was murdered. Maggie and Eve's sister Nola were unfortunately the ones who discovered her body in the caves below the houses which they lived.

'But Maggie has always known more than she has told. In all those years, although there were suspects, no one was ever held accountable for the murder. There was Eve's abusive boyfriend who seemed to have an alibi, and even Eve's sister Nola who was known to be a bit strange to the kids at school and even to Maggie. Nola had a fascination with death and dissecting animals.

Now, married, pregnant and on the police force which her father had once been Chief, including during the time of the murder, a new piece of evidence has emerged which once again puts the case front and center. The new Chief wants Maggie to take a look at the investigation, hoping she will see something which was missed all those years ago. Reluctantly Maggie has to reopen old wounds for herself as well as everyone else.

Haunting memories of what happened that day years ago begin to flood Maggie's mind. And now with the files and evidence she had never been privy to, it only creates more questions and anxiety for her. Unable to discuss the case with her dad who has retired and has dementia, Maggie begins to re-interview everyone from back then, some like Eve's sister Nola who seems to hate Maggie for some unknown reason. Now a veterinarian, Nola has secrets of her own buried deep in the basement of her house. Maggie is also startled to see potential suspects she never new about.

What skeletons lay in the caves and who would want to kill Eve? What secrets are the suspects keeping? And what is Maggie keeping hidden that no one should ever know...or do they already? She cannot afford to be exposed from all those years ago. Clearly someone knows something and they aren't talking...but who?

This Is How I Lied is a psychologically fulfilling story with surprising twists and turns which only make you want to keep coming back for more.

Thank you #NetGalley #ParkRowBooks #ThisIsHowILied #HeatherGudenkauf. The book will be released on May 12.

Dark and Twisted. This book is actually one of the better ones I've encountered of late for using a particular scene as a prologue... and then coming back to that very scene late in the book (within the last 30 pages or so, actually) and showing how it *actually* went down. Yes, that means that this book has surprises almost until literally the last page. Several interesting storytelling techniques at play here, and touching on several issues within the zeitgeist of the last few years. Very much recommended.

Heather Gudenkauf's latest effort shows again why readers are ready to pounce on any book she writes. Her plot lines fascinate, her characters come to life, and she makes readers want to read just a little bit longer, please!

The book opens with Eve Knox, 15, in a cave, fighting for her life. She loses that fight. Her body is discovered by her younger sister Nola, and her best friend since first grade, Maggie Kennedy.

Fast-forward twenty-five years to the current day. Maggie Kennedy-O'Keefe is now seven months pregnant, and a detective with the Grotto police department in Grotto, Iowa, a small river town set amid Grotto Caves State Park. Eve's murder was never solved, and it rankles everyone who knew her, including Maggie's dad, Grotto's former police chief. When new evidence is found, Maggie is assigned to the case.

Maggie's review of the original files and her own investigation puts multiple people on the list of suspects. Every small town has secrets and Maggie's investigation is threatening to several of the townspeople, one or more of whom are not opposed to taking actions to stop her. Can Maggie solve the case before things get more dangerous for her?

I really enjoyed how the story alternates between the time period of the murder and present day. It really makes the characters come alive as we learn about each of them bit by bit, layer by layer in the then and now.

A fast-paced read, this is sure to please mystery fans. I highly recommend it.

My thanks to NetGalley and Park Row for allowing me to read an ARC of the book in exchange for an unbiased review. All opinions stated here are my own.

This is How I Lied is a mystery that you won't forget. Maggie is a cop who is tasked with finding her best friend's killer, twenty years after the event happened in the small town of Grotto. Even after all this time, everyone is a suspect--Eve's abusive boyfriend, Eve's oddball sister Nola, and Maggie's own husband who hadn't told her that he had seen Eve just hours before she died. Beyond that, Maggie is also very pregnant and ready to give birth to a child that her husband and she have longed for.

I started out liking this book, but what should have been a major twist is revealed pretty early, stripping the book of a major part of the mystery. And since this twist is intertwined with the main character, most readers will figure out that the truth they are given halfway through will end up not being the whole truth to the final story. Given this, the ending is quickly cleaned up with a predictable, but still plausible, story as to what really happened to Eve.

This was a book I read where I kept saying to myself, "What the heck, who is lying?!?!" At first I thought the title was misleading...and then it all unraveled! Let's dig in!

This story is told in 2 parts, 1995 and 2020. Eve Knox was murdered and discovered by her best friend, Maggie. Maggie's dad is the police chief and is investigating the murder...except no suspects have even been apprehended. Fast forward to 2020 when a piece of evidence is discovered and Maggie, now a detective on the police force, is tasked with reopening the cold case to resubmit evidence.

Things take a turn when Nola, Eve's sister, gets involved. I don't want to say much because it will ruin the book, but she is a crazy, deranged person. How she has managed to stay out of any trouble, I don't know.

What did I love about this? I had no idea where the book was going. We do find out who killed Eve, but the journey to it was a twisty one. We're talking blackmail, cover up, scandal...oh yes. I was quite pleased with how this one all turned out. It held my attention and the back and forth from the 90s to the present day helped set the stage for what happened.

4 stars. This book added to the suspense with every turn of the page. Toward the end it had my heart racing and my eyes moving at lightening speed because I was on the edge of my seat dying to know what was happening! This is definitely a tale where secrets come to light. Highly recommend for those of you who love thrillers...complete with a hard to predict ending! Happy reading!

25 years ago Maggie's best friend Eve Knox was brutally beaten and left to die in the local caves that run under the small town that they live in. Worse yet, it was Eve's unusual little sister, Nola, and Maggie herself, that found her. Police Chief Kennedy, Maggie's dad, did everything he could to find Eve's killer but the case eventually went cold with no arrests made.

Now 25 years later a new piece of evidence has been found and Maggie is the detective on the case. She is determined to see if new technology can pick up anything they missed all those years ago so that she can put her friend to rest at last. Everyone involved closely in this case has a different idea of who did what and they all have more than just Eve in common. They all have secrets too, some uglier than others.

Reading this book was like watching a drama unfold before my eyes. Even though this book didn't have any really seriously shocking twists it was still gripping and I really had no idea which one of them was the killer. It helped that all the people in this book were twisted in their own way and could easily have been the culprit. Maggie didn't have much personality but I only really noticed that in the beginning when there wasn't a whole lot to focus on. Eve's sister Nola is as weird as weird gets. The neighbors are creepers. Eve's ex boyfriend is a jerk. And they all have secrets that are slowly uncovered as the story unfolds.

Throughout the book we are following Maggie in current day and also flashing back to the few days before and of Eve's murder. My favorite aspect of this was following from Eve's POV during these flashbacks as we got closer and closer to her time of death. We are also following Maggie and Nola in both the current story and flashbacks. So, as we're reading the book we are also slowly following Eve up to the fateful moment of her death and I thought this part was extremely well done. It kept me right on the edge of my seat the entire time, especially knowing that we would eventually see her death through her eyes, rather than be told what happened from an outside party. This really enhanced the book in my opinion.

I also really loved the very accurate dementia representation in this book. Maggie's father has dementia and therefore can remember things quite clearly from years ago but has a very bad short-term memory. This added another layer of suspense to the story because he was the original detective on the case and you get the idea that he might know something that he's keeping close to his chest but on the other hand you can't trust anything he says due to the dementia. This was a great aspect to throw into the story for a little added mystery. It also shows the hardships that families dealing with dementia deal with and how truly devastating this disease can be for them. This aspect of the book touched close to my heart as I am deeply familiar with the disease and can therefore judge its authenticity in this book and I found it to be really well done and realistic.

For me what made this book a real gem wasn't the shocking reveals but the unfolding of the story and drama involved. Even though I wasn't shocked to find out who the killer was I still really enjoyed the journey to that moment. What really made me drop a star from my rating of this book was the fact that some things had to work a bit too perfectly for some important scenes to pan out and it really pulled me out of the story. There was also an element of the book that was never revealed. This element wasn't a massive part of the book but it was present enough that I wanted to discover the truth and was disappointed when it was never explained in the end. I also would have liked to know more about Nola and what she was up to. It's alluded to, of course, but I really wanted more where she was concerned.

Luckily, I can happily recommend this book to all the mystery and suspense lovers out there. I really enjoyed my time reading this but just beware of some potential triggers: loss of a parent, loss of a friend, loss of a sibling, domestic abuse (both mental & physical), hoarding, assault, rape, miscarriage, animal dissection, murder (described from the victims POV as she died).

Maggie and Nola found Eve's body 25 years ago. The murder was never solved and it weighed heavily first on Maggie's dad, who was police chief at the time, and now on Maggie who became a police officer. Nola, Eve's sister, has had her problem over the years but now she's a vet. What about Nick, Eve's boyfriend? Maggie's reopened the case, against the wishes of her husband Shaun, because there's new evidence of sorts (Eve's boot) and in doing so has opened a can of worms. She's also 7 months pregnant by the way. There are lots of secrets in small towns and Grotto, Iowa is no exception. This moves back and forth in time, which works for the plot. No spoilers but there are red herrings and what you think is the answer, well, that's not it. Thanks to the publisher for the ARC. Gudenkauf is an expert at building tension making this a perfect page turner.

I have read half of Heather Gudenkauf's books and each keep me completely on the edge of my seat until the end. Told through multiple perspectives and even some therapy transcripts and some news articles, this book had interesting ways to move the story along. Eva Knox disappeared 25 years ago and with the discovery of a new piece of evidence her friend, Maggie, who is now a police officer in their hometown is reopening the case and will revisit all of the details as an adult and will hopefully find her killer and close the case. Eva gets the chance to tell the timeline of the day she died through her own words as we flashback in time and Maggie and Eva's sister Nola also get opportunities to move the story along from their viewpoints mostly told in the present day.

I absolutely adored this book. I loved the switching of perspectives. It was edited well, so the reader doesn't get lost at all and it is obvious as to the time and place, so the story moved quickly along. I didn't write down the characters for this one, but it could help so you can remember key facts about each one and how they relate to the others.

I rate mystery/thriller books based on who the killer ends up being and if I am ok with how the clues led up. Don't worry I will not reveal who it is, but I will say that I am happy with the outcome. I was glad it was someone who was there throughout the story and didn't come out of left field at the end and had the same amount of want to have Eva and her secrets shut down than almost anyone else in the story.

Oooh this book is so good! Such a great thriller and mystery!

This book is told from three different characters: Maggie who is now a cop trying to solve her best friend's murder from 25 years ago, Eve who was murdered, and Nola Eve's crazy psycho sister.

I didn't want to put this book down which is great for the quarantined life. I definitely plan to read more of her books.

Thanks Netgalley and publisher for my eARC in exchange for my honest review!

I haven’t read any previous novels by Helen Gundenkauf before and as I picked it up and saw the ‘other books by’ at the start I was a little worried that this might be part of a series. I needn’t have worried though, This Is How I Lied is a standalone and a great one at that. The story is set in the small town of Grotto and I really enjoyed the slightly claustrophobic and incestuous feel of the town. As someone who left my hometown to go to Uni and now constantly travels around the country and the world for my job, I can’t imagine living with people you went to high school with at your doorstep. There’s a lot of scope for old secrets and people with a lot of leverage about the past and this is explored perfectly within the plot.

Our main character is Police Officer Maggie who is investigating the death of her best friend Eve which still haunts her 25 years later. New evidence has come to light and with Eve’s odd sister and primary suspect ex-boyfriend still in town, the stage is set for all past secrets to come to light. Maggie is pregnant with her first child and her relationship to the case make her a well-placed investigator but she is not without her flaws. Her character development is well-plotted and we really feel empathy for her character. The books jumps in perspective both from past to present but also to different characters such as Maggie, sister Nola and Eve herself. Nola is a very unique character – she’s somewhat of a psychopath; lacking empathy for others and is interested in anatomy which means she cuts open animals as a small child. There are also a lot of possible suspects but I didn’t really feel like any of them were obvious red herrings – in fact it had gotten to about 93% of the book and I still hadn’t really guessed who had committed the crime with any major certainty. There’s a pretty large twist halfway through the book that I didn’t really see coming either and it made all of the subsequent decisions made by one of the characters a whole lot more interesting.

There were however a few unanswered questions and events that I didn’t really feel were resolved. There was also quite a major plot hole that I realised as I put the book down for the final time which would have perhaps opened up some more leads in the case had it been explored from the start. These are only small niggles I have though – they didn’t really affect my enjoyment of the story.

Overall, I really enjoyed This Is How I Lied – it’s a really nicely paced and intriguing thriller which keeps you guessing all the way through. Thank you to NetGalley and Harlequin – Park Row for the chance to read the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Thank you Park Row books and Netgalley for the copy of this book.
I absolutely am a fan of Heather Gudenkauf. This book just solidified that.
Relatable characters, quick story line, and twist and turns that keep you reading.
This book had me hooked right from the beginning.
I can not wait to see what she come out with next.

Wow! What a roller coaster! This was my first book by Gudenkauf and I didn't know what to expect. Seeing the other reviews and ratings for the book, I was a bit worried that it wouldn't be 'all that' for me, but wow!!!

Throughout the book, the characters develop in alternating POV's and differing time lines, revolving around the death of a teen girl, Eve, in a small Iowa town in the mid-1990's. The murder goes unsolved until a new piece of evidence is found in 2020. Maggie, now an adult and a cop - also very pregnant and Eve's best friend before she died - is put in charge of the new evidence and the resolution of the crime. And that new piece of evidence holds all the answers. But before that, Gudenkauf takes us on one heck of a ride!

The differing POV's and time lines can get tough to get into - at least for me - but once I got familiar with the main characters, the story just grabbed me and wouldn't let go. And with the ending tied up and complete, I'm guessing this is a stand alone book, but I could see this as the start of a series really well too.

Mystery, suspense, worry, thrills and chills - this one had it all. Read it! It lives up to all those high marks!

Many thanks to the author and publisher, and to Net Galley, for an electronic ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.

This is the first book that I have read by this author who has written a number of successful thrillers.  The premise was intriguing.  A high school student was murdered in a cave.  Who did it?  Why? 


The case is not solved at the time.  Now, a number of years later a new clue has been found and the case is being re-opened.  During the initial investigation, the investigator was the father of one of the victim's friends.  Now, in the current time line, the detective is that daughter and friend, Maggie.  She is heavily pregnant and volunteers to review the old files and work on the case. 


I liked the setting of this story.  However, I found that there were characters who were most unlikable including the victim's sister, Nola, and the victim's boyfriend from the time, a bully and abuser.  I found that I did not enjoy the book as much as I had hoped because of these characters to whom I did not want to relate.  I did want to see the case resolved however.


If you like your stories on the darker side, this may be for you.  It was a tad too much for me.


Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this title in exchange for an honest review.

3.5 stars, rounded up

Right from the beginning, this one was complicated. With two timelines and three POVs (two in the present and one in the past) as well as a few articles and interview transcripts, this is a book that requires attention. Everyone has secrets, and there are consequences to all of them. Gudenkauf brilliantly lays out a set of trails, some of which lead to the truth and others taper out into nothing. However, it felt like she latched onto one too hard too soon. It caused the rapid pace to grind to a halt, even as we learned more details.

And then there's Nola. I love the idea of a female psychopath (which is how she's introduced) and I love that we get to see little bits of her logic and reasoning. But man, she went absolutely over the top way too quickly. She wasn't methodical; she was maniacal.

Plus, hi, DNA is not the be-all-end-all in investigating. It's a huge part and it allows for easy determination of suspects, but there are so many times where it's like "oh just a little DNA" and that's just... not necessarily true.

I will say, Gudenkauf did a brilliant job of making you suspect literally everyone. I would have liked to see a little bit more from the previous generation of investigators, but I understand why we don't get that.

In this book, a new investigation is made into an unsolved murder that took place 25 years earlier. The police officer assigned to the case 25 years later was also the best friend of the victim. And that stirs all types of emotions. With the new DNA evidence they find and all the advancements in science, will they find the murderer this time? It's a pretty nice thriller, alternating what is happening now and what happened back then. I just don't recommend reading it while also binge-watching the Apple TV+ tv show "Home Before Dark" - at some point I got confused trying to remember which characters are from which, so I ended up deciding to finish watching the show, and then going back to the book.

This is How I Lied by Heather Gudenkauf kept me guessing until the final pages!

What is a secret you've kept to yourself your entire life, hoping no one would ever find out about? Interesting concept to ponder. And while Gudenkauf does a terrific job exploring this facet of the small-town Grotto society, I would not call this story a thriller. It is definitely a well-told mystery, but not a thriller. A mystery is designed with the crime at the beginning of (or before) the story and the narrative question is: Who committed this crime? A suspense or thriller novel usually has an impending crime, and the narrative question is: How can this be averted? Nonetheless, while it was promoted as a thriller, Gudenkauf's mystery was well-written and captivating.

The slow reveal of information kept me intrigued and glued to the pages to find out who the real killer was, and the final reveal was justified.

Admittedly, at the start of the novel, I wasn't certain if I was going to like it, because I felt distanced from the fifteen-year-old character, Eve, and even had to check to see if this novel was written for the young adult audience or an adult audience. (It is written for an adult audience.) I assume Gudenkauf wrote the opening the way she did to avoid revealing the gender of the killer, but it was clunky and I almost stopped reading. Throughout the novel, anytime the story was from Eve's point-of-view, I had to work to stick with the story.

I'm glad I kept reading.

The rest of the book was fascinating. The different points of view, the non-linear timeline, and the multiple formats of storytelling (utilizing transcripts from therapy sessions) kept me engaged and curious to find out what was going to happen next.

I do wish there had been a content warning, because I usually choose to avoid any books involving childhood sexual abuse of any sort. Gudenkauf dealt with it at the surface level, never delving too deeply. So I was able to handle it, but consider yourself warned. There are topics of sexual assault, domestic violence, pedophilia ... in addition to the expected violence that accompanies any mystery or thriller.

In This is How I Lied, Gudenkauf gives the reader a well-developed cast of characters, a twisty plot, and a satisfying ending!

I look forward to reading more books by Gudenkauf!

Some of my favorite lines from the story included:

"I'm used to toting around a sidearm, not an infant."

"Plastic garbage bags stuffed with random items filled corners, their black mouths gaping open as if vomiting mildewed clothing, board games, and VCR tapes."

"The orchard fills both sides of a lush valley and I love walking the rows of apple, fir, spruce and pine trees. Each row has its unique scent--sharp, sweet, woody. I've always imagined our children playing beneath the trees trying to catch the falling delicate pink-and-while apple blossoms that cling to their hair like confetti."

"If you don't understand how things die, how can you understand how they live?"

25 years ago, Eve died. Will the small town ever have closure on this murder? Maggie is investigating after new evidence comes to light. Secrets will be revealed. Loved this twisty story and the characters!