I was able to listen to the audiobook of this as I read and it kept me up way past my bedtime. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and plot.
The story is based around a cold case murder that has occurred 25 years previously. It is now being investigated in the light of new evidence by a detective who was the best friend to the murdered girl. The nuances of this story really kept me reading. I also thought the plot twists were terrific and unexpected.
My only critique is that I felt that a major plot point was never fully resolved to my preference, it would be a spoiler to say what it was, so I will leave it at that. It detracted from the story slightly.
Overall, I recommend this for any thriller lovers.
Thanks for the early release copy to review.
#Netgalley #ThisIsHowILied #HarlequinTradePublishing #ParkRow

Great thriller for the summer. I have read this author before and thoroughly enjoyed. This one did not disappoint. One of the main characters (the vet) was so disturbing; will take a second look at any vet that I visit in the future!

In This is How I Lied. Heather Gudenkauf returns to themes she has explored in prior novels, including teen friendship and the power of secrets to shape and destroy lives.

Grotto is home to around ten thousand Iowans, many of whom, like Maggie and her husband, Shaun, operate farms and orchards. Nestled along a river, it boasts a circuitous cave system known as Grotto Caves State Park, and is a popular destination for hikers and spelunkers. Grotto is the backdrop for Gudenkauf's dark, stylishly atmospheric story. It was in one of those caves that Eve's body was found by Maggie and Eve's creepy, frightening, and decidedly unpopular younger sister, Nola, on the cold evening of December 22, 1995. Eve had been brutally beaten, strangled, and left on an icy cave floor. Maggie's father was never able to keep his promise to Eve's mother that he would find and bring the killer to justice. Now her father can remember events from years ago, but has lost his short-term memory and is cared for in the family home by Maggie's brother, Colin, a fledgling artist.

As the story opens, Maggie is summoned to the current police chief's office and informed that new evidence has been discovered -- one of Eve's boots, caked with mud, was found in a cave by two teenage boys who turned it over to the department. Maggie recognizes it immediately, and in her first-person narrative explains that the news is "a punch to my gut. I haven't heard my best friend's name said out loud in a long time." The chief agrees to led Maggie take the lead on the reopened investigation.

Maggie's account alternatives with the exposition of Nola's perspective, presented in the third person. Now a veterinarian, Nola also resides in the family home adjacent to Eve's. Her mother, still grieving Eve, is in a skilled nursing facility after sustaining a fall. Nola is as unpleasant and obsessed with the anatomy of animals as she was as a girl. Gudenkauf vividly describes how a once tidy home is now filthy and trash-strewn as a result of her mother's hoarding. However, her mother's habits enable Nola to maintain unsavory secrets. After all, if a home is cluttered, there are many places to hide things.

Gudenkauf skillfully propels the story forward by including yet a third perspective: Eve's. At deftly paced intervals, Gudenkauf takes readers back to December 21 and 22, 1995, the last days that Eve was alive. She reveals what happened between Eve and her boyfriend, Nick, the handsome boy from a wealthy local family. Her mother encouraged the pairing, but Nola knew the true character of their relationship. Step-by-step, Gudenkauf details Eve's final hours, leading up to why and how she ended up in the cave where her life came to a tragic end.

Virtually every character in This is How I Lied is harboring secrets, including Maggie, Nola, and their neighbor, Cam Harper, a handsome married businessman and father. As a teenager, Maggie regularly babysat the Harpers' children. But Maggie reveals that their interactions went beyond babysitting, and she has spent many years visiting her father in the old neighborhood without ever speaking to or acknowledging Cam. Whatever happened between them remains a secret Maggie has not shared with anyone, including her husband. And as the investigation into Eve's murder proceeds, Maggie learns that Shaun has not, over the years, been completely forthcoming about his connection to Eve.

Gudenkauf again demonstrates her prowess at constructing engrossing mysteries set in small-town America. Her vivid descriptions of the setting are crucial to the novel's success -- the picturesque little town of Grotto is filled with colorful characters and has been shrouded in mystery for more than two decades. She brings the streets, homes and, most particularly, the caves to life with evocative, descriptive prose that pulls readers into the action. This is How I Lied is replete with plot twists, revelations, and red herrings, as well as one jaw-dropping disclosure that brings into question readers' every assumption up to that point and sends the balance of the story on a different trajectory. Gudenkauf's timing is spot-on, as are her characters' voices and viewpoints, especially that of Nola both as a teenager and a never-married practicing veterinarian still residing with her mother. Her intelligence and rationalizations of her behavior make her a fascinating, compelling, and haunting character.

At the center of the story, Maggie proves to be a less-than-wholly-reliable narrator, and finding her empathetic is, at times, challenging. As her investigation proceeds, she is forced to confront the memories that have pervaded her decision-making for so many years and, once and for all, wrestle and make peace with the demons that have overshadowed her accomplishments and plagued her as she has pursued a happy family life with Shaun. As the pieces of the troubling puzzle fall into place, Gudenkauf expertly ramps up the tension between the characters both in the flashbacks to 1995 and the present, as the dual story lines accelerate and merge into a stunning conclusion that is no less satisfying because readers will most likely have solved the crime before all is revealed and resolved.

This was just an okay one for me. I usually love this author and was excited to read this one. The mystery didn't provide a great deal of suspense and there wasn't any characters to actually root for. They were all horrible.

This is a fast paced thriller involving 2 timelines and 3 POVs. Maggie O’Keefe is investigating the murder of her best friend Eve that happened 25 years ago. We get POVs from current day Maggie and Nola, Eve’s disturbed younger sister, and the last few days of Eve’s life from her POV. There were so many twists and turns that I did not see coming. This book definitely kept me guessing until the very last page.

Wow! I almost don't know how I can even do this book justice. That's just how much I loved it. All I can say is that I can easily see it making my favorite books of the year list in December.

As the synopsis says, twenty-five years ago Maggie Kennedy-O'Keefe's best friend Eve Know was found dead in a cave near her home. No one, including Maggie's father who was the police chief at the time, was able to determine who had murdered Eve. Enter present day where Maggie is now a detective for the same force her father once worked. She is happily married and about to give birth to a much tried for daughter when new evidence about Eve's death surfaces. Maggie is assigned to the case and is determined to once and for all put to rest her friend. However, is she prepared for what she will discover?

The story is told in alternating timelines and from the perspective of Maggie as well as Eve's sister, Nola and even Eve herself. Through their narratives, the reader sees what happened leading up to Eve's death and learns that there were quite a few suspects who may have gotten away with murder. I personally love dual timelines so immediately Gudenkauf drew me in. Slowly the reader is introduced to more Grotto residents. We meet Maggie's father who is suffering from dementia as well as her artistic brother who has moved back home to care for him. Nick is Eve's high school boyfriend and is truly unlikable from the beginning. Maggie's husband Shaun is trying to be supportive of his wife, but doesn't understand why she wants to take on such a high pressure case eight months into her pregnancy. And finally there is Eve's sister Nola. Nola is one strange individual. From the beginning we learn that she had a troubled childhood and has a concerning fascination with body parts, both animal and human, and how they work. Nola is now an adult veterinarian and one has to wonder if she entered the profession because she wanted to help animals, or cut them up.

Needless to say, there's so much to love about This Is How I Lied. Just when I thought I knew where the plot was headed, the author would methodically throw in another twist or turn. I really grew to care about Maggie and her family and also really wanted justice for Eve. I found myself growing increasing worried about Nola and her possible role in her sister's murder, and while I wouldn't necessarily call her a morally grey character, even though I didn't like her, I didn't fully dislike her as well.

If you are looking for a great thriller to escape in then I highly recommend This Is How I Lied. I will definitely be seeking out more works by this author and am pleased to find a new favorite thriller I can recommend to everyone.

I received a copy of this book from Harlequin Trade Publishing in exchange for an honest review.

Detective Maggie O’Keefe was marked by the tragic murder of her best friend, Eve, when they were fifteen, a murder still unsolved. Now years later a new piece of evidence is found, and Maggie finds herself in charge of re-examining the cold case. Interviewing old suspects brings up feelings and regret; parts of the past Maggie would like to forget, but the truth marches on.

This is How I Lied was a thrilling, twisty mystery that kept me guessing up until the end! It seemed every character had secrets wrapped up in the tragedy of Eve’s murder. We had three POVs: Maggie, Eve is the past in the days leading up to her murder, and Nola, Eve’s little sister.

Nola was one crazy-as-heck character, the worst possible person to become a veterinarian! Wow, she creeped me out! Nick, Eve’s abusive boyfriend was top at the list of suspects, too. Maggie had her own secrets that are slowly revealed throughout the story, this while she’s well into the last trimester of her pregnancy.

Of course, I wanted it all to work out for Maggie, you know me and my need for some sort of happy ending even in a murder mystery, lol! I was glued to the pages, hurriedly reading to find out how it all turned out! I was thinking one thing and then surprise twist at the end! Definite recommend!

I love everything Heather Gudenkauf writes and I was so happy to be able to read this new release a bit before the release date. This book was gripping and creepy and so good!

Heather Gudenkauf’s This Is How I Lied is a suspenseful mystery featuring police detective Maggie O’Keefe (I hope it is the start of a series!).

This was a fast-moving and suspenseful read, focusing on the murder of Maggie’s best friend twenty years earlier. I had not read any of Ms. Gudenkauf’s books before – I need to look them up! I recommend this one to mystery lovers, especially if you like a strong, female protagonist. The pacing was solid and the characters well-developed.

Thank you for making me part of the Harlequin blog tour and for my galley through Net Galley!

(full post at Beth's Book-Nook Blog)

Thank you NetGalley and Park Row Books!
I LOVE Heather Gudenkauf's books! She is the queen of thriller/mysterious and she always writes books that keep you on the edge of your seat and this one is no different.
I don't want to repeat the whole story hear, you can read it on the blurb, but OMG does she suck you in and not let go until you finish the book! All I can is that it involves a 25 year old murder that is personal to Maggie O'keefe. Its the murder of her best friend. The kicker is that she's pregnant.

Its filled with twists and turns and most of all will keep you on the edge of your seat!

Flipping back and forth in time this book investigates the death of 16 year old Eve Knox by her best friend turned police detective Maggie. Eve's death has haunted Maggies family for decades. Her father was the police chief when Maggie died and her unsolved murder has plagued him into his dementia ridden older years.

When children find a boot that had belonged to Eve the case gets re-opened. Maggie who is very pregnant and now on desk duty decides to try and finally solve the death of her best friend. With this new evidence the whole town starts talking about Eve and her younger sister Nola the town freak, who as a child was often found dissecting animals.

There are a lot of secrets about what happened to Eve and the dark pasts of many of the people who live in this small town. Someone knows something and the secrets are starting to surface.

This was a great whodunnit with many possible suspects. I like how the secrets are slowly revealed as the narrative flips back and forth between present day and what Eve's last few days were like. Everyone has secrets but some are deadly.

Twenty five years ago, Maggie's best friend Eva Knox was found dead. While there were a handful of suspects, the case went cold. Now Maggie is a detective in Grotto, seven months pregnant, and investigating Eva's death when new clues force the case open again. But there are still residents in town that want to see that secrets remained buried.

Two main story threads work their way through this novel: Eva's POV twenty five years ago, leading up to her murder, and Maggie's in the present as the investigation started up again. In addition, we have snippets from transcripts of the police investigation and therapy sessions that Eva's sister Nola had to go through. This leads the reader to question what we know about the citizens of Grotto, and how far they would go to hide what happened. There are threats of arson, doxxing, and harassment in the present, as well as a teacher grooming students and carrying on affairs with them.

Nola is described as a "freak" by the small-town children and adults, and some of her behavior strikes me as being very much on the autism spectrum. She is emotionally flat and doesn't connect well with people. She has her collections of oddities and things she cares about that others don't, and she doesn't care what they think. There is hardly an emotional connection to her family, though she does care about them in her own way. Her collections and macabre interests led the town to believe she could've been responsible for Eva's murder, a belief that still lingers in the town throughout the present.

By the two-thirds mark of the book, some secrets unravel, and it's a dark place for Maggie to be in. I feel sorry for her, and for the teenagers she and Eve used to be. It's sad, and the very end is even worse. The conclusion was a surprise yet not and felt a little too neat. At the same time, it felt like a fitting conclusion for the characters, and finally justice for Eve.

This story had me in its clutches from the very first chapter and didn't let go until the exciting, satisfying end. There was a lot of drama and angst all throughout as well. Reliving the days from 25 years ago when Eve was murdered was extremely hard for Maggie. As secrets from that time start to be revealed, you would think the clues would uncover the murderer but will they implicate an innocent person instead?

This is How I Lied is a must-read for thriller lovers as it has just the right mix of good and evil characters. You will definitely want to get to the end of the story but the journey to get there is a roller-coaster ride. Totally intense! I highly recommend it!

There are many secrets and even more lies in this little town in Iowa.

Detective Maggie Kennedy-O'Keefe works for the Grotto Police Department. Since she's 8 months pregnant, her boss asks her to look into a cold case when new evidence comes to light. That case, however, is one that Maggie knows very well. It was 25 years ago when she and the victim's younger sister, Nola, found the brutalized body of 15-year-old Eve Knox inside a cave. Eve was Maggie's best friend and the murder has haunted her ever since. Even though the chief investigator was Maggie's own father and there were several possible suspects, no one was ever charged. Can Maggie find the truth and get justice for her friend after all these years?

Well, wow. First thing -- you must be able to suspend disbelief in order for this all to work. Then, you must be able to get past the actions of the characters. One of them is definitely destined for the psych ward, and another has quite the ability to compartmentalize. Then there's the sexual predator and also the abusive boyfriend. I don't want to forget to mention that this story includes a father with dementia and some other fairly clueless people. Quite the unsavory collection of possible killers, but the narrative takes a turn about half-way through that may take you by surprise.

I would have rated this higher if the climax and conclusion had been more realistic. And I definitely had to shake my head at the preposterous situation that occurs in the cave. I would expound but NO SPOILERS. It definitely held my interest and I read it all in a single sitting this evening. I've read quite a few books by this author, and I'll continue to do so. I'm looking forward to seeing other reviews and comments about this novel.

Thank you to NetGalley and Park Row Books for this e-book ARC to read and review. 3.5 stars

How do I put this?

I consider this a #thrillerfiller and then again it isn't!

What is it with me and multiple timelines AND POVs? I guess my mind isn't up to the challenge. This one had dual timelines and three POVs? It's not super confusing, but I didn't feel like figuring it all out, if that makes sense.

Now, I pride myself on reading A LOT of thrillers and also trying to guess whodunit, this one had me guessing all the way to the end!

It was a quick read and super suspenseful. Gudenkauf's writing has me HOOKED!

I wish I had more to say, but I honestly can't think right now ha.

This one is great for all thriller and suspense lovers.

Brace yourself for a most addictive novel, with secrets held for more than 20 years, with jealousy and drama galore.

I loved the way the author keeps the pace of the novel, unravelling the plot slowly, adding in bits and pieces of information about Eve’s death 25 years before the present action if the book. There is a crime unsolved in the past and a reopening of the file in the present. Confused characters acting seemingly strangely, yet with a clear purpose of framing or manipulating.

The characters are a mix of rich and poor, the usual bullies and bullied, as well as amazing teachers versus paedophile types. The author is portraying reality in a crude, yet emphatic style, with many feelings expressed throughout the past and present timelines. Sometimes it is overwhelming to read again about how strange and deranged Nola can be. Yet she was and that is a fact that needed to be well highlighted due to the suspense.

I got really got caught up in the depths and strangeness of this novel, where lying is well seen , even somehow conjuring lying as a weapon of survival (of the specie). If you enjoy drama and suspense, then this novel is for you. Check it out and let me know in the comments what you thought of this book.



Many thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this arc.

This is How I Lied brings back a decades all old mystery threatening to show the truth of many of the small Town’s citizens.
Maggie should be taking desk work as her due date is fast approaching, but when new evidence appears in the case of the murder of her childhood best friend, she knows she has to run point. Maggie lives with the guilt from the death of her best friend and it doesn’t help that many of the suspects are cagey and combative. Maggie must follow the twists while keeping her safe as many hidden truth comes to light.
This book combines a variety of plot points that have been popular this year. The issue is that many of these aren’t very creative. Here the father with dementia/alchemize doesn’t really add much; he becomes a tool of how the main character sneaks into places she does’ have a legal leg to enter. The bereft best friend fake-out has been done before and would have worked better if the opening hadn’t described the murder in depth. I was also annoyed with the sociopath stereotype that I kept expected to twist but it really just went off the deep end.
I hate to be so down on the novel because there are parts that I actually enjoyed. The killer isn’t immediately guessable and Heather Gudenkauf leads you on a winding journey through past and present. She creates a unique dilemma for the main character leading you and the character to question what values the character (and we) hold dear. Should we take the easy way out? How should justice actually be served?
Overall This is How I lied is a mixed bag. There are many ideas that have been done better in other novels, but the author also keeps you reading desperate to know who did it.

I received an AC from the publisher; all opinions are my

Heather Gudenkauf has done it again! With This Is How I Lied, she reminds readers why she's one of the most popular writers of domestic thrillers around. Her latest novel is full of all the twists and turns a mystery lover could want without sacrificing plausibility.

Twenty-five years earlier, the body of fifteen-year-old Eve Knox was found in an abandoned cave system. It was obvious she'd met with foul play, but the police were unable to close the case. Pretty much everyone in town had an opinion about the events leading up to Eve's death, but no one really knows what happened that cold December night. Or do they?

When new evidence surfaces in the summer of 2020, police detective Maggie Kennedy-O’Keefe isn't sure how to feel. Eve was her childhood best friend, and Maggie has never forgotten the horror of being the one to discover Eve's battered body all those years ago. Plus, Maggie has been keeping a dark and dangerous secret for years, and she's terrified someone will discover what's she's tried so hard to find. And yet she longs for closure and so, against her better judgement, she agrees to begin looking into Eve's case.

The re-opening of the Knox case plunges the small Iowa town into complete chaos. Contrary to what Maggie would expect, no one seems the least bit pleased that the investigation is active once again, and no matter how hard she tries to uncover the truth, she finds herself thwarted at every turn, making her think she's not the only one in town with something to hide. But Maggie is determined to bring Eve's killer to justice, no matter what it costs her.

The novel's structure is a bit confusing, alternating as it does between Maggie's present-day investigation and the days leading up to Eve's death. We see things from both Maggie's and Eve's perspectives, and we are also introduced to Eve's troubled younger sister Nola, who seems to be conducting an investigation of her own that may or may not conflict with Maggie's. It took me a little while to settle into the slightly jumbled narrative, but once I reached the halfway point, things suddenly began to make sense. So, if you're put off by what feels like a lot of disjointed information, hang in there. Ms. Gudenkauf won't let you down!

Maggie is exactly the kind of complicated heroine I've come to love. She's married and expecting her first child, and to those around her, she seems to have it all, but she has hidden depths that make her a lot more interesting than I expected when I first encountered her on the page. She doesn't always do the right thing, and I sometimes wondered if a line existed she wouldn't cross in her attempts to learn the truth about Eve's death, yet I found myself cheering her on almost in spite of myself. That's how invested I was in her quest for justice.

Parts of the story, especially those chapters told from Nola's point of view, were difficult to read. It's clear from the beginning Nola has some deeply-rooted emotional problems, and as the story progresses, those issues come to a head. Nola's thoughts aren't always pleasant, and some of them are downright disturbing, so bear this in mind if you're thinking of giving This Is How I Lied a try.

There are some references to domestic violence and sexual assault sprinkled throughout the story. Nothing is described in great detail, but these encounters are important to the eventual outcome of Maggie's investigation. I wasn't personally distressed by the presence of these portrayals, but I know not everyone chooses to read books involving abuse.

If you love fast-paced, intense thrillers, This Is How I Lied is a book you won't want to miss. It kept me glued to my iPad all day, eager to discover what secrets the various characters were hiding. Heather Gudenkauf knows how to tell a suspenseful story, so hold on tight because the ride gets pretty wild.

Buy it at: Amazon, Audible, or your local independent bookstore
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4.5 stars

Maggie Kennedy-O’Keefe is nearing her due date to deliver her first child, and therefore is being assigned to lighter duty in her job as a detective for the police department of Grotto, IA. Ironically, she is assigned the twenty five year old unsolved murder of Eve Knox, who was her best friend, as well as being the case her own father could never bring to conclusion.

Maggie and Eve lived on the same street, and were best friends from the age of six through fifteen, until Eve was killed. Things were a bit strained between the two friends near the end of Eve’s life and there was friction between them, culminating in a major fight on the very day of Eve’s death. Eve’s boyfriend is controlling and abusive, yet she keeps returning to him, frustrating Maggie. But Maggie is involved in a disastrous relationship of her own, and refuses to listen to Eve’s pleas to end it. Aside from the grief of losing the friend she loved, Maggie is guilt ridden over their last hateful meeting with each other, knowing that they parted forever on such awful terms.

As Maggie begins to re-examine the evidence and re-interview the witnesses, the story alternates between the present and the past. The tale from twenty five years ago introduces all the potential murderers, and details the toxic relationships both girls were in. The list of suspects grows, even including Maggie, herself, her husband, Shaun, and Eve’s crazy (or, is she?) sister, Nola, among others. Maggie is shocked to learn who her own father, now suffering memory lapses, suspected. THIS IS HOW I LIED is a gripping story that kept me reading nonstop until I found the answers. The alternating time periods were written very well, building the anticipation to a heart pounding climax which puts the lives of Maggie and her unborn child at peril. I found this book enthralling and exciting, and sure to appeal to readers who enjoy the twists and turns of a well crafted thriller.

A riveting tale of drama and suspense, This Is How I Lied is a heart-twisting page-turner from master storyteller Heather Gudenkauf.

It was a case that had sent shock waves rippling through small-town Iowa twenty-five years ago. The body of sixteen year old Eve Knox was found in the caves near her home by her best friend Maggie and her sister, Nola. As shocking as the murder of a sixteen year old girl was, with only a handful of suspects, no leads and plenty of dead ends, the case had gone ultimately cold, leaving the residents of Grotto, Iowa to wonder just who had murdered Eve Knox. Was Eve merely at the wrong place at the wrong time? Did she knows something so dangerous that it had driven a twisted psychopath to murder? What really happened the night Eve was murdered? Did her boyfriend Nick know more than he was letting on? Or was it all just an unfortunate accident?

Maggie has been haunted by Eve’s death for decades. That horrible night has cast long and disturbing shadows over her life and left her constantly tortured by what she had discovered in those caves twenty-five years ago. Pregnant and a detective in Grotto, she finds herself thrust back into a past she has never quite managed to forget as new evidence is brought to stark light which forces the police to reopen the case. As Maggie begins to dig deeper, she is shocked when on re-examining the clues, she finds a maelstrom of secrets, lies and deceptions that leads her to believe that the killer might still be among them. It becomes clear that somebody knows more than they are letting on and they will go to any lengths to keep their secrets hidden…

Can Maggie get to the bottom of this baffling mystery and avenge her best friend’s death? Or will the killer end up triumphing once again and force Maggie to pay the ultimate price in her quest for the truth?

A multi-layered and richly woven thriller about dark secrets, old ghosts and dangerous lies, Heather Gudenkauf turns up the tension and keeps the twists and shocks coming in This is How I Lied. A nail-biting chiller with plenty of moments that will make readers jump out of their skin, This is How I Lied is a densely plotted, heart-pounding and jaw-droppingly twisted thriller from a writer whose books never fail to keep readers burning the midnight oil and up until the dawn turning the pages of her books: Heather Gudenkauf.