Yet another good outing by Ms. Gudenkauf. I am never disappointed in the twists and the suspense. I loved how this story went back and forth between the present, the reopening of the murder investigation, and the past, Eve telling her own story leading up to her death. The characters were deep and maybe a bit creepy. (There was something not right with Nola) You really cannot go wrong with one of her books.

Thanks to Netgalley and Park Row for a copy of this book.

The first novel of Heather Gudenkauf's I ever reviewed was Not a Sound which I loved. This is How I Lied was excellent.

The town of Grotto, Iowa is a place where neighbours try to live their lives as best they are able. However, things have not been the same since 22 December 1995 (my 14th birthday, no less).

On that day, something terrible happened.

Eve and her sister Nola and Eve's best friend Maggie were 15 year old back then. The town is surrounded by bluffs and nesrby caves. The girls end up there and on the same day, Eve is killed.

Maggie and Nola have never forgotten that terrible day which left them scarred for life. Maggie has always wanted justice for Eve and 25 years later works at the local police department like her dad did before he was diagnosed with dementia.

Despite being heavily pregnant, the personal nature of the crime and the length of time since it went cold propels her into action and she takes on the investigation where her own father, an ex-policeman from the same department, left off. In a more lucid moment he tells her he did what he could to track down the killer and she knows he did. But she can't rest until she finds who killed her best friend. She, Nola Nick (Ellie's boyfriend) and Shaun were at high school together.

She decides she must go above and beyond to get justice for Eve, and she realises early on that she is the only person she can rely on.

Nola is a vet but is harsh and combative and does not show the patience and devotion towards humans as she does animals.

Nola and Eve's mother Charlotte says she did what she could to provide for her daughters but their house is the shabbiest on the street (do not go in the back room!) and Charlotte is a heavy smoker.

As the story progresses, Maggie decides she has no choice but to ask Nora to join her in the investigation and soon, a boyfriend, a creepy neighbour and a guy Eve saw at the school library are suspects.

Maggie even gets suspicious about Shaun, her own husband.....And Cam, her boyfriend from years ago. But who killed Eve? Nola, who is not mentally well? Or was it Maggie herself? Is Maggie crazy? Or should she take the blame?

Her mother-to-be instincts kick in and she is always thinking of her unborn baby girl and we are witness to her pregnancy as it progresses. I found this subplot a real contrast to the main plot which was effective as it evoked concern for Maggie and "Peanut" as she affectionately called her unborm baby.

We gain an insight into what it's like living with someone with dementia with the subplot of Maggie's father's life and see how she and her brother Colin care for him.

A street of very different characters, a town where the nightmare has reared its head after 25 years. You cannot escape the past......

This is How I Lied is a twisty, absorbing page-turner with a brilliant pace and top notch suspense throughout. The story never lags. It is absorbing, immersive, shocking, surprising and a portrait of a town who cannot forget. The alternating chapters in the point of view of Eve, Nola and Maggie were a good structure and compliment to the pace of the book.

Nola has secrets too and we really doubt her mental state.

Can you really trust friends and neighbours? Are they really who they say they are and who you think they are?

Thanks to Heather Gudenkauf and publisher for my ARC in exchange for an honest and voluntary review.

5 stars.

I really want a sequel with Maggie on other cases and she and Shaun bringing up cute baby Ellie. I need to listen to more books by Heather Gudenkauf- her thrillers are 100% impressive!

I loved this book and how unreliable all the characters were. It was slow paced but that added to the mystery. I enjoyed the investigation and the dual timelines/multiple points of view.

Twenty-five years ago, the body of a teenage girl was found in the caves close to a small Iowa town. Today, with the discovery of a new piece of evidence, the case is re-opened and old sins are brought to light.

Told in two timelines and from the point of view of three characters, this is a twisty, fascinating psychological thriller. All the pieces are put there from the beginning for the reader to figure out who the killer is, but the way the story is told, it’s obvious there are actually a lot of different characters with motives, from the victim’s frankly disturbed sister Nola to her abusive boyfriend, her angry mother, a sexual-predator neighbour and more.

About two-thirds of the way through the book, an absolute bomb is dropped when a very unexpected character reveals their guilt, but the story is by no means over at that point and I kept reading right to the end, riveted, because I just couldn’t quite believe what I was told. And indeed, there’s a certain amount of unreliable narration here, just enough to keep you guessing right up to the final, shocking climax.

Genuinely a fascinating read, and I’d say a satisfying one too, because everyone gets their just desserts at the end. Five stars, and I’ll definitely be looking for more works by this author.

*** BLOG TOUR ***

This Is How I Lied by Heather Gudenkauf is the story of a cold murder case that will hopefully be solved with new DNA technology. Reader beware: This book contains mutilation of animals, abuse in a relationship, and pedophilia. It is disturbing! For me, the book is as much about the mystery of Eve's murder as it is about her sister Nola's mental illness, the abuse suffered by teenagers, and the question of where are the adults in their lives. The book does keep me reading until the end to see where it goes.

Read my complete review at http://www.memoriesfrombooks.com/2020/05/this-is-how-i-lied.html

Reviewed for NetGalley.

Disclaimer: I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Thank you to Harlequin Trade Publishing, Netgalley, and Park Row Books for this free copy. All quotes in this review are taken from the Advanced Reader Copy and may change in final publication.

Thrillers always make me think about what would happen if I were in the main character’s situation, and how I would handle it. I don’t know if I could do it, if I’m honest. For starters, we have the set up of what happened in the past. Maggie found her best friend’s body in a cave near their home, and there was not enough evidence to find anyone guilty. To lost your best friend in such a terrible way, and then to find their body is traumatic in itself especially at the age of 16. Well, at any age really. It makes sense that Maggie would be suffering from PTSD or any other types of traumatic thoughts from that experience well into her adult years.

Then, not only is Maggie pregnant and a detective in their hometown of Grotto, Iowa, but new evidence has surfaced that ends up opening up the old case, which ends up opening up old wounds and feelings that Maggie worked to keep down during her time trying to heal, or at least trying to cope. Taking the time to look at the clues again, after all this time as passed and looking at them as an adult and a detective could be the difference between finding out who killed Eve and letting a killer continue to walk free after all these years.

This was definitely a book that I had to take my time reading because it was difficult for me to read because of the plot. For me, it was really difficult to see Maggie have to go back to a time where her best friend was killed, and have to find out that things may not have been as it was because of the secrets that were taking place during that time. Not to mention she was pregnant too and I felt like all of that stress that she had wasn’t good for her or the baby, but I personally wouldn’t know.

From other feedback that I’ve seen, Gudenkauf is a masterful thriller writer and this was a great introduction to her writing. It definitely kept me on the edge of my seat and was very visual for me. I think it was pretty intense at times as well, and not for the faint of heart.

"If you don't understand how things die how can you understand how they live?"
Talk about a nail biter!!! This book was definitely a thriller from the beginning to the very last page. I honestly could see this becoming a TV Series and or movie, hell, screw The Dublin Murders, let me see this on TV instead!!! I went into this book not knowing much about the book or the author and found that I was instantly immersed into the story and couldn't stop reading or thinking about it for that matter until I had finally consumed every last word. While it is a thriller, its also a story about family and friendships, and  of course murder.

The setting was easy to imagine, like I said above, it felt like a movie to me. I could see the cliffs and the caves. The small town atmosphere with the rickety houses up on the hills. Coming from a small town myself, it felt like I could relate on a personal level to how everyone had known each other for their whole lives and so many lives were filled with secrets that were bound to come out sooner or later.  The fact that these girls and so many other teenagers in the book knew about the caves lent a slightly eerie feeling to the plot. To enjoy hanging out and escaping to somewhere so dark and dank and remote is almost setting yourself up for a murder mystery in my opinion. And so its no small surprise that its in these caves where poor young Eve is murdered and it isn't until new evidence is found 20 years later that the truth will finally be revealed.

Not only is the setting easy to imagine, but the characters are also very realistic. From the struggles of a career driven detective who even though she is pregnant is determined to solve the mystery of what really happened to her best friend. To the strange and twisted mind of Eve's sister, who honestly gave me the creeps and was my number one suspect. Each character was so fleshed out and lifelike that I read this book like I was reading the diary of a long time friend. I think the author did a fantastic job switching between different points of view but still keeping the reader guessing who it was that really killed Eve. There were so many different times I changed my mind in my guesses of who it could be and even in the end I couldn't have guessed the twist it took.

This was one of those books that's so dark and twisted and creepy yet at the same time keeps you on the edge of your seat and guessing throughout. Its not necessarily fast paced, but the need to find out whats going on keeps you flipping the pages mindlessly and the next thing you know you've read half the book. I would have liked to know a little more on the back end of the story what happens with the characters but I think it does wrap it all up nicely so that you aren't left hanging by any means. There's always going to be a little bit left to the imagination when it comes to a stand alone book and that's where I always struggle setting aside my love for trilogies. I really do think that this book is not for the feint of heart, with characters like Nola Knox, you have to really be prepared for just about anything. She felt like a descendant of Hannibal and there were times I wanted to just skip her chapter altogether, but then again it added that extra layer of mystery that kept me guessing so in the end I really did appreciate her chapters even if they were a little bit hard to read about.

This being my first book that I've read by this author, I am happy to say that I have been looking into reading some of her other books since I really did enjoy this read. I think that the writing was a good change of pace from all the fantasy and sci-fi I normally read. Its good to step out of your comfort zone every once in a while and get a taste for something different. I would definitely read anything this author comes out with next and think that this is a good book for anyone looking for something to take their mind off of all the crazy going on in the real world right now. Trust me, you won't be able to think about anything else until you find out what truly happened to Eve all those years ago. Happy Reading!

3.5 stars This is How I Lied is told through three points of view: Maggie, Eve and Nola. Eve was murdered when the three girls were in high school. Maggie was her best friend and Nola her sister. In present day, a new clue has shown up in the cave where Eve died. Maggie, now a detective, is tasked with following up on the new clue.

The book is one of those quiet thrillers that creeps up on you and takes you by surprise. I did end up enjoying this one. There were a few twists and, although I figured out most of the solution, I was still surprised a couple of times. I liked the characters. Nola was kind of crazy. Maggie was a good and solid detective. I did like the flashback scenes from Eve's points of view. They helped give context to the mystery. While it's not page turning exciting, it was still enjoyable and one I recommend.

My Thoughts
I received a request from the publisher to participate in the the blog tour for this book. The synopsis sounded intriguing so I accepted. I haven’t read any of Gudenkauf’s books previously, but that is going to change now! I really enjoyed this novel! Here are my pros and cons for This Is How I Lied:

Pros
1. The characterizations were awesome. Maggie, Eve, Nola, and Nick were superbly developed characters and I felt like I knew them personally. Even secondary characters like Maggie’s Dad and Nola and Eve’s Mom were really great.
2. I have to call out Nola specifically in this review. She was a phenomenal character. She was strange, quirky, scary, super smart, misunderstood, manipulative, overly inquisitive, secretive, and so much more. I can honestly say I don’t often read books with female characters as disturbing and odd as Nola. I didn’t really like her as a person, but I really appreciated her part in this story.
3. This book is unique in that the story/plot is revealed quite slowly and methodically, yet it was definitely a page-turner for me. The pacing was ideal and I really couldn’t put it down.
4. The story is told by three narrators – Maggie, Eve, and Nola – and switches between the past and the present. I absolutely loved experiencing the story from the three perspectives because it gave it much more depth and detail.
5. Honestly, not a lot happens until about the 60% mark. Up until that point, you are learning the details about Eve’s unsolved murder – things she did the day she died, what others did, things that happened leading up to her murder, who suspects were, etc. We also get a lot of background about what has happened (or not happened) since Eve’s murder. All of that is definitely important, and not boring in any way at all… but then BOOM! Can’t say anything here, but I definitely didn’t see the twist coming!
6. After the twist I just mentioned, we get another one and another one! I was questioning everything at this point and that is what makes a great thriller/suspense novel in my opinion!
7. The ending was tremendously satisfying!

Cons
1. I don’t love the title.

Summary
While this is a thriller/suspense/mystery novel, it is also a heartbreaking story. What happened to Eve, up to and including her murder, was incredibly sad and tragic. It feels strange to say I enjoyed a book with such unfortunate circumstances, but it was really well-written and I did think the ending was satisfying.

I would recommend this book to just about anyone. There are some potential triggers such as abusive relationships and (potential) animal harm, so be aware.

Like I mentioned above, this is my first Heather Gudenkauf novel and based on what I just read, it will not be my last.

Thank you NetGalley and Park Row Books for a free eARC of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.

This is how I lied was a great thriller, kept me guessing until the very end. I kept guessing on who might have been the murderer but my guesses were wrong. I enjoy books like this not easy to guess.
I loved the multiple point of views as well. Eve’s point of view led down to who killed her.
Well written and I recommend to mystery, thriller lovers and anyone looking for fast paced book.
More on my blog, I added my link below.
Thank you at Park Row books and Heather Gudenkauf for inviting me on your blog tour.

This book took a lot of turns that I didn't expect at all, but really enjoyed. I liked the format and snapshots of different times in the story, it really worked well for the overall book. I found some of the characterization a little too "out there" at times, but not so much so that I didn't enjoy reading.

Twenty five years after finding the body of her best friend, Eve, murdered in a cave, Maggie is still living in the same town and is now a detective. When a boot belonging to Eve is found, it is sent off for testing and the investigation is brought to the forefront with Maggie as the lead. I found this book to be an interesting and downright creepy mystery with good twists.

Heather Gudenkauf is one of my must read authors and she did not disappoint with "This Is How I Lied".
15 yr old Eve was murdered and her body was found by her crazy younger sister Nola and Maggie, Eve's best friend. The case was left unsolved until years later when Maggie, now a cop, reopens it with new evidence. Many twists and turns and many possible suspects lead to an unputdownable story.
Highly Recommended!

Thank you to NetGalley and Harlequin-Trade Publishing/Park Row for an arc of this novel in exchange for my honest review.

My Review- Thank you to Park Row books for inviting me onto the Blog Tour for this book in exchange of an honest review. All opinions are my own.

For those of you that have followed my Blog for the past four years, you will know that Heather Gudenkauf is one of my most favorite Authors. When she publishes a book, I buy it and read it ASAP. And it’s safe to say, she has knocked it out of the ballpark with this one.

There is something so remarkable about the way Gudenkauf can weave a tale. I get so invested in her characters, and drawn into her books. The first chapters of every book of hers that I have read has always immediately grabbed my attention. I loved the way Maggie fought to find out what happened to Evie, even though it could destroy everything she knew. The secrets, and betrayals that are unmasked in this book were intense. With Gudenkauf’s books sometimes they are so heavy that I need to take a few days from reading to process things. I love a book filled with good plot twists, and ones that you think you had figured out, but really you had no idea!

Thrillers are not my favorite genre, but I do enjoy reading a thriller every now and then. When I got the arc from Heather Gudenkauf, I got sucked into the story immediately. The story changes from past to present and you can read the historical events from different point of views. Not only you read from Eve's point of view, up until the moment she dies, but also from her sister Nola and her best friend Maggie.
After twenty-five years a shoe of Eve is found, from the day of her murder. Maggie, who was Eve's best friend, is now a detective and she wants to help solve the case. Her father, who is now having dementia, had tried for years to solve the case, but he didn't succeed.
There were several suspects, including Nick, Eve's boyfriend and Nola, Eve's little sister. Nola always was an outsider, strange and creepy with a obsession for dead animals. When you read on, more suspects arise and halfway through the book, you kinda suspect half of the residents of the town. Full of suspense, unexpected turns and a lot of lies.
Highly entertaining, keeping you guessing and a great ending. Four out of five stars from me and a special thank you to Netgalley for providing the arc.

This Is How I Lied was my first Heather Gudenkauf book but will certainly not be my last! This is How I Lied is about a small-town murder that occurred 25 years ago and remains unsolved. Sixteen-year-old Eve Knox was discovered brutally murdered in the caves near her home by her best friend Maggie and her younger sister, Nola. While there were suspects, the case ultimately went cold. Twenty-five years later, Maggie, now a detective, has been assigned to reopen the cold case when new evidence comes to light.

Told from alternating perspectives of Maggie, Nola, and Eve (on the days leading up to her murder), This is How I Lied dives deep into the secrets buried in the small-town -- and shows just how far people will go to keep the past buried. With plenty of twists and turns along the way, this was a great read!

It's the first book I read by this author and won't surely be the last as I loved this one.
It's a gripping and enthralling story that kept me hooked making me turn pages as fast as I could.
I loved this story as it's complex thriller full of twists and turns and a cast of great characters, interesting and fascinating.
The three POV and the dual time lines works well together and give you fragment of the secret of the characters. Someone is the culprit but you are never sure as everything can change or some new elements will appear.
The most fascinating character is Nola, a very clever and damaged person who is quite creepy at times. It's not one of those character you like but you cannot help being curious of her story at the same time.
All the characters are well thought and interesting and all of them hide some secrets and are important in discovering the truth.
There is violence, abuse, sufferance but there is also hope and justice.
It was an excellent read, I strongly recommend it.
Many thanks to Park Row - Harlequin and Netgalley for this ARC, all opinions are mine.

Heather Gudenkauf is a new to me author, and I had no clue what to expect in terms of her writing style and ability to pen a good mystery. The blurb provided hints of a page turning story therefore I couldn’t wait to dive into This is how I Lied.

The story introduces Maggie Kennedy O’Keefe a detective with the Grotto Police Department. Eight months pregnant she is preparing to take on desk duty when additional evidence relating to twenty-five-year-old murder case surfaces. This was personal for Maggie as it involved the murder of her best friend Eve Knox. Because of the additional evidence coming to light, the police chief reopened the case. He assigned the case to Maggie allowing her the chance to ascertain what this fresh evidence would reveal. However, someone is not keen on the reopening of the case and will stop at nothing to prevent the truth from being revealed.

Filled with intrigue and suspense This is how I Lied proved to be a page turner which kept me up late into the night. The story is told from the POVs of Maggie, Eve and Nola, Eve’s sister giving readers an inside look into their state of mind up to time of the murder and after. The story moved between the past, and the present, and the events in both timelines were rather disturbing. Reading of Eve’s last days was heart-breaking. The poor girl couldn’t get a break.

As secrets unravelled, the story left me in doubt has to who killed Eve. The suspect pool wasn’t huge however, each of the persons highlighted had motive and opportunity. However, figuring who was responsible was not a simple task. At the point when I believed I had my answer, the author dropped a twist which left me questioning my initial belief.

The author weaved a tale that kept engaged from start to finish. This is How I Lied is a story that will not be forgetting soon. The story was so interesting I devoured it in less than two days.

Recommendation/Conclusion
Fans of small-town mysteries will enjoy this latest offering from Heather Gudenkauf. I will definitely be reading more of this author’s work.

With This Is How I Lied, Heather Gudenkauf gave me characters and content that crept under my skin and made me squirm. The pull was gradual until suddenly I was swept up in the current, thrashed around in the madness, jaw slack, eyes riveted, desperate to know what happened next.

Read this book if you like characters whose very essence is the stuff of nightmares, because—Nola!

Read this book if you like dark, edgy realism that puts you on an emotional roller coaster.

Read this book if you like stories with depth, honesty, complexity, atmosphere, and memorable characters.

This Is How I Lied examines the lasting effects of trauma and abuse, the power of secrets, the weight of lies, and the destruction of caustic love. This story also shows us hope and trust and the strength love can provide.

This was one of those totally absorbing novels that I didn’t want to put down! Having read another of Heather Gudenkauf's novels, Before She Was Found, I was thrilled to be able to read this one, too. Even if I hadn't, the premise of this was novel was pretty exciting to me, as a keen crime fiction reader.

Twenty-five years ago, Eve Knox, aged 16, was murdered and her body found in the caves near her home in small-town Grotto, Iowa by her best friend, Maggie, and Eve's sister, Nola. The case was never solved and now, further evidence has come to light. Maggie is now married, has worked hard at her job and has become Grotto PD detective Maggie Kennedy-O'Keefe. Heavily pregnant and soon to give birth, she is decides to take up the cold case...

Right from the start, I was completely absorbed by the suspense and the intriguing story-line. Heather Gudenkauf effortlessly brings to life many interesting characters in this pacy and gripping crime thriller, as well as delving into the motives and thoughts of each of them. Deadly menace and dangerous secrets are uncovered and the author is in complete control as she brilliantly manoeuvres this tale, blurring the boundaries between right and wrong, crime and justice. Heather Gudenkauf’s skilled writing made this appear effortless, keeping the story flowing so that I was never bored. With many twists and turns, I was totally engaged all the way through, until the fulfilling and very strong conclusion.

Overall, Heather Gudenkauf’s special way with the narrative made this compelling tale quite distinct, resulting in This Is How I Lied being a very worthwhile read. If you’re a fan of the genre, you should really read this book! I will certainly be looking out for more of this talented author’s work in the future.

A special thank you to Park Row Books, the author, and NetGalley for a complimentary copy of this novel at my request. This review is my unbiased opinion.