This is the first book I have read by Heather Gudenkauf, but it won't be the last. I started reading this book and finished in one day. There were times I had to put it down for things, so I listened to the audiobook at that point. The main mystery centres around Eve Knox, a teen who was found dead in a cave twenty-five years ago. No one was ever arrested for the murder and with a boot being found in the caves, the case has been reopened. Maggie, Eve's best friend, is the detective investigating.

This was a creepy thriller that had me worried for Maggie throughout the story. As I learned more about what happened to Eve in the past, I was sure I had figured out who killed her, but no, back to the drawing board. Eve's sister Nola was an odd duck. She had problems fitting in right from her youth and as she has gotten older, I was not sure what to think about her. She definitely did things that either angered me or creeped me out. There were so many secrets in this book that I was worried Grotto, Iowa would implode when they all came out. Nola's voice was very strong in this book. She is angry that the case was never solved and that the detective investigating twenty-five years ago, Maggie's father, seemed to give up. She also has her own secrets and seems to know more than she let on years earlier. There was also some life things getting in the way of the mystery. Maggie is pregnant and ready to deliver any day, so stress is not good for her. Her father has alzheimer's and has a habit of getting out of the house and disappearing, so she has a lot on her plate. There were several reveals of secrets that led Maggie in another direction and then a few twists that me shocked. All the suspects had a certain level of disgust attached to them, but I do not want to give anything away. I did figure out who the murderer was just before the author leads us to the culprit. I really enjoyed this story and recommend it to readers who enjoy a suspenseful mystery with some creepiness and surprises included.

This is How I Lied by Heather Gudenkauf

Smash bang killed her in the first chapter BUT who killed her? Then, 25 years later her BFF is called in and told that new evidence has popped up after a boot, boot of the deceased cold case, has popped up. So, Maggie, laden and ready, nearly, to pop out her first born takes on the cold case of, “Who killed Eve?”

At this point I have to admit I promised to do a Book Review and Blog Post so…am taking a break from the riveting reading to post the review (not finished) and tell you why you should read this book.

What I like (so far):
* Maggie, she seems to be on the job, in the marriage, willing to do what it takes to solve the mystery of who killed Eve 25 years before
* Shaun: I think…haven’t seen enough of him yet BUT as a farmer and someone that Maggie is with…he probably is a good guy
* The writing – well done and can’t get back to the story
* That this is a cold case that might be solved with the use of DNA trace evidence on items saved from a previous crime scene
* Plenty of red herrings
* Wanting to get back to the story even though I should probably go to bed

What I did not like
* That Eve had to die to make this book happen, and that she suffered so much
* That the bad guy got away with the murder for almost three decades
* That I have not finished the book yet so have to return so I can find out what happened.

Did/Do I enjoy this book? Yes
Would I read more by this author? Yes
Will I finish the book? Yes…at least I hope to!

Thank you to NetGalley and HQN-Park Row Books for the ARC – This is my honest review.

4 Stars

I looked back over the list of books that Heather Gudenkauf has written and noticed that I've read most. I also noticed that the stories have stuck with me. I always feel an affinity to her characters, because I grew up in a smaller Midwestern town. As I read her books, there's a familiarity there. I remember picking up The Weight of Silence. It deals with a tough subject, missing children, child abduction, but Ms. Gudenkauf tells the story so you truly get to look inside these families. They could be my neighbors where I grew up. In This is How I Lied, you are drawn into the town of Grotto, Iowa where back in 1990's teenager Eve Knox was found murdered in a cave. Her killer never found. Small towns can hide secrets like no other. Now, Eve's best friend, Maggie is a police detective, called upon to try to solve the case after it is reopened when Eve's boot is found. Someone in town knows something, but Maggie's life might be a risk as she tries to expose the truth.

Wow! I read my first Heather Gudenkauf book last year (Before She Was Found), and this new one did not disappoint!

The book jumps between timelines (which I love), as we try to figure out who killed 15-year old Eve Knox 25 years later. I honestly loved the way the characters interacted with one another, and I liked that I wasn't fully sure about what was going to happen. There were a few moments where I was very surprised to with a little piece of information that was dropped, but I knew that it couldn't be that easy, and it definitely wasn't!

I don’t usually like suspense – and This is How I Lied is definitely suspense. But I got so completely engrossed in the book that I couldn’t put it down. I loved it! And I kind of hated that I loved it because all of the terrible things that happened to the protagonist were just the kind of thing that I hate reading about. But I couldn’t stop. And you won’t be able to either.

Let me explain…

The story begins in the past, 25 years ago. For a brief moment, we’re in the mind of Eve Knox as she attempts to escape her killer – and fails. As Eve falls into unconsciousness, with death certain to follow, perspective shifts to the present, away from Eve (this isn’t that kind of story) to her best friend Maggie, now a police detective in their small town.

And someone has discovered fresh evidence in Eve’s still unsolved murder.

The cold case investigation is handed to Maggie. It shouldn’t be. Maggie is WAY too close to the case. She was Eve’s best friend. She found the body, along with Eve’s sister Nola. And Maggie’s dad, back in 1995, was the police chief who investigated the crime.

But there are only 2 detectives on the local police force, and Maggie is one of them. Maggie is also 7 months pregnant, and has just about reached the point where she can’t buckle her gun belt around a baby bump that is much, much bigger than a mere bump. She needs to go on light duty, and the cold case seems like a perfect way of doing that – at least to the current chief of police.

Not her dad. Her dad was forced to retire when the symptoms of his previously diagnosed dementia became just too debilitating to ignore.

So Maggie has the case, and a case file that throws up all kinds of questions that weren’t answered back then. And probably should have been. But Maggie’s dad was more focused on obscuring the evidence than discovering it.

After all, he wouldn’t want to put his own daughter in jail for murder.

Escape Rating A: I got way, way, way more absorbed in this than I ever expected to. In the end, it felt like this book spilled its guts all over the floor, and the reader can’t help but be glued to the unfolding tragedy.

Because this is definitely a tragedy. It feels like one at the beginning, with a young girl murdered and no resolution. We do see the days leading up to Eve’s murder through her perspective in a series of flashbacks, and it is obvious not just that the whole thing is going to go pear-shaped, but that there were more than a few people who saw that Eve was heading for a disaster – just not the one that actually occurred.

There’s also a sense that, in spite of Maggie’s police career, a job where she has had to take charge and be assertive every step of the way, that the entire story is one where all the women are victims. Maggie is a victim too, and so is Eve’s younger sister Nola. All of them were victimized by the way that society treats and socializes young women, expecting both innocence and sexiness, teaching them that what men want is always more important than what they want or think or believe.

But the story is absolutely gripping. We start with Eve’s murder, and from there move to Maggie’s investigation of Eve’s murder, which seems straightforward until about halfway through when Nola blackmails Maggie into pinning the murder onto Eve’s abusive boyfriend. Because Nola wants his life ruined the way that he ruined Eve’s life – even if he isn’t actually guilty of the crime she wants him convicted for.

It’s a tangled web being woven by everyone attempting to deceive everyone else, each thinking they know who killed Eve – when in reality they are all wrong. And the climax of that wrongness is every bit as terrifying as Eve’s final moments.

I'm flattered that Lia at Harper Collins invited me to be a part of the Blog Tour for This Is How I Lied. A murder case, dual-timeline, multi-perspective thriller? Yup. I'm in! The Blog Tour started May 12th and runs to May 19th.

› On December 22, 1995, 15-year-old Eve is killed. We don't know who did it, but we know the person got away with it. Twenty-five years later, Eve's childhood best friend, Maggie, is married with a child on the way. When new evidence is found, Detective Maggie is assigned to re-open Eve's case and re-submit all evidence now that DNA research has improved.

› Grotto is a small river-town in Iowa with a population of 10,000 people. Everyone knows everyone. And everyone has their opinion of who killed Eve. Some think it was her abusive boyfriend, Nick. Some think it was Eve's strange sister, Nola. There are other suspects, like the vagabond who followed Eve at the library hours before she was found dead. Or maybe it was Cam, the pedophile neighbour. Could it have been Shaun, a fellow high-school student who picked Eve up in his truck hours before she was killed and is now married to Maggie? Was it Maggie's brother? Eve's mother?

› There are SO MANY possible suspects and the story will leave you guessing until almost the end. I had so many suspicions, and I couldn't pinpoint who it could have been, making this a page-turner for me.

› Final Thoughts
• This Is How I Lied is an exciting, twisty, edge-of-your-seat murder mystery thriller that reminded me of Sister Dear by Hannah Mary McKinnon. I can't wait to read more from Heather GudenKauf. Highly recommend! ★★★★

**3.5-stars rounded up**

This is how I lied, and this is my truth.

In 1995, 15-year old, Eve Knox was murdered in a cave walking distance from her house.

When she doesn't arrive home that night, her Mom panics and sends people out looking for her.

Her best friend, Maggie, teams up with Eve's little sister, Nola, and they ultimately end up finding her body.

Neither girl will ever forget that night.

Twenty-five years later, Maggie, has followed in her Father's footsteps and is now a detective in her hometown.

Around eight months pregnant, she is currently working desk duty, when new evidence is found related to Eve's case.

The boot Eve was wearing on the night of her death has been discovered.

The hope is that with new advancements in forensic science, they will be able to extract some DNA that could finally lead to the killer.

The sudden resurgence of interest in the case begins to take its toll on Maggie.

She becomes slightly obsessed with it all over again and starts doing some digging of her own.

The secrets that come to light, it's a lot. Secrets involving multiple characters.

I had some serious jaw drop moments while reading this.

This is How I Lied is a quick, compelling read.

If you are looking for something to get your mind off real life for a while, look no further. This is it!

I will be honest, there were definitely some elements in this that made me uncomfortable.

Specifically, Nola, Eve's sister, is a very disturbing character. There are some aspects of her personality that at times, made me want to close this book and never pick it back up again. But I needed to know the truth!

There were also times when I was uncomfortable with Maggie's pregnancy and the risks she was taking caused some anxiety for me.

As the story unfolds, however, it becomes clear as to why she feels so compelled.

This is a wild story. It is dynamic and engaging.

Oh, the secrets of a small town. You never know what you are going to dig up!

Thank you so much to the publisher, Park Row Press, for providing me with a copy to read and review.

It was a wicked fun read!

Thank you to Park Row books for an invite to this blog tour and a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Guys. I could NOT put this book down! This is one of the ones I was trying to sneakily read at work. It was so twisty. I had to know what was happening next! This was a Grade A thriller!

Maggie is a detective following in her dad’s footsteps. She’s 7 months pregnant and about to tell her boss she wants desk duty until the baby comes. She goes in for a meeting and is surprised to find out they are opening up a cold case from 25 years ago – the murder of her BEST FRIEND!

This story is told in a dual timeline – what is happening now and what happened that fateful day 25 years ago. I loved reading Eve’s POV. It was so interesting to know what happened to the victim and what evens lead to her murder.

Literally everyone in this book is suspect. Maggie, her husband, Eve’s sister, Eve’s boyfriend, the neighbors. I even suspected Maggie’s dad at one point! You can trust no one in this story.

I flew through this book. I had to know who really killed Eve. I remember texting my friend saying “I’m at 89% and I cannot believe anything that is happening!” I was so surprised at the whole ending. The last 10% had me on the edge of my seat!

A multiple voice story which takes the reader back to 1995 and the murder of a 15 year old girl and then forward to present day and her best friend who is now a policewoman, assigned to reopen the case on the basis of new evidence. This book had me hovering between suspects, thinking I knew what happened only to have each theory debunked and the emergence of a new suspect. A brilliant tale, skillfully told with empathy and an ultimate twist!

Heather Gudenkauf has made a fan of me with This Is How I Lied!! This is the first book I have read of hers but certainly won’t be the last. I love a good suspenseful read that keeps you guessing. Just when I thought I had it figured out, there would be a twist. This is one I didn’t want to put down and kept me guessing until the very end. Definitely recommend this book. Easily a 5 star rating ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Thank you to NetGalley, Park Row and Heather Gudenkauf for allowing me to read this book in exchange for my review.

Back in my bookseller days, Heather Gudenkauf was an author I was always drawn to. Day after day I would shelve her titles and each one sounded more interesting than the last; from the very start with her debut, it was clear Gudenkauf was and is not an author who shies away from darker, grittier topics. Child abductions, abusive relationships, childhood trauma. Areas other mystery authors would deem as too far, Gudenkauf sees as fair game. Years later she’s still an author whose books catch my eye and when I was approached about reviewing her latest, well, I took that as a sign.

Twenty-five years ago the body of Eve Knox was discovered at the bottom of a cave. Though it was clear Eve was beaten and murdered, there was never any clear evidence, just rumors and pure speculation. Weeks turned to months and months turned to years, eventually her murder was considered a cold case, though never officially closed. The detective at the time, Henry Kennedy, continued pouring over the notes, the interviews, convinced there was some tiny clue he could uncover.

Twenty-five years later, Henry’s health is in decline and he’s no longer on the force. His daughter Maggie followed in his footsteps, earning her own badge. Now seven months pregnant, Maggie knows desk work is in her future, she’s in no position to be chasing down criminals. As luck would have it, two boys happen to come across an old boot…Eve’s boot, and with major strides in DNA technology over the past two decades, there’s a chance new light could be shed, finally solving the crime – and bringing justice to Maggie’s best friend.

As Maggie retraces her father’s steps in the case, she can’t help but think back to that night. The night she and Eve’s sister discovered Eve’s body. Who could be responsible? Nola and her mother were certainly convinced it was Nick Brady, the town’s golden boy – and Eve’s boyfriend. Maggie always thought there was something wrong about the way he treated Eve. Or could Cam Harper know something? Maggie and Eve used to babysit the Harpers’ kids, and Maggie knows all too well how Cam felt about teenage girls. And why does Maggie’s husband’s name show up among the case notes?

This is How I Lied is told in several voices (Maggie, Nola, Eve) as well as two time periods: the days leading up to Eve’s death and the present. Right from the start I was not a fan of Nola, Eve’s sister. She has no problems killing animals – when she’s first introduced it’s a scene on the job. She’s a veterinarian and has been called out to check on a horse. The horse is in bad shape and needs emergency surgery. While the family isn’t looking, Nola administers an injection, nothing that will kill the horse then and there, but quickly enough to ensure it won’t make it through the surgery…aka she won’t be to blame. She was rude and manipulative with zero redeeming qualities. I disliked her character so much (the Dexter-esque trophies she collected – instead of blood, she keeps ear bones, her blatant disregard for anyone, her all-around bad attitude) that I nearly abandoned the book. On more than one occasion.

I’m glad I stuck it out though. Between the past/present narrative, the case notes, and interview transcripts, This is How I Lied was an engaging read that kept me turning the pages (as long as the scene didn’t involve Nola with an animal). I felt there was only one truly good character, Henry. Everyone else was written in such a way that it was easy to peg them as a murderer. Each one, from the ex-boyfriend to Maggie’s husband to Maggie herself had moments where, if they weren’t already an outright monster, there was enough doubt to where the reader could be swayed.

Ultimately, the Big Reveal wasn’t much of a shocker. However, this was a quick read and a surprisingly easy read, given some of the more horrific elements (abuse, pedophilia, rape, animal cruelty). I read this on a rainy afternoon and the weather added to the novel’s atmosphere. While I don’t see myself ever picking this one up again for a reread, I’m delighted to say I’ve finally read a Heather Gudenkauf novel after all these years – and that she’s got an impressive backlist waiting for me.

I have not been disappointed by a book by this author yet. This one is now my favorite. The one quote that summed up this book was, “I’ll be able to say, This is how I lied, and now this is my truth.”
That is from the one person in this book that will take your breath away. At least it did for me. I was shocked by this story in many ways but also sort of figured who was going to be the ultimate bad person. Of course I did guess almost every character before I found out for certain. So there ya go.

This is the story of a woman who lost her best friend twenty five years earlier. Eve was killed at the age of fifteen. She went through way to much for a girl so young. She had way to much responsibility on her young shoulders. From an abusive boyfriend to a sister who needed to be watched out for way to much. Eve was a child with her who future in front of her. She was a good girl who only wanted to get on with her life. Move on after a bad relationship and live life. Eve died way to young.

Maggie, Eve’s best friend, grew up and became a cop. Her dad had been a cop and was the one who was in charge of Eve’s case. But he had to step down and he suffered from short term memory loss. Maggie was married to a boy from high school and expecting their baby. They had gone through a lot to have this baby and sure didn’t want anything to happen to it. Maggie was in charge of investigating Eve’s murder when new evidence was presented. Can she be unbiased and do the job she needs to do? Will she go into it with an open mind and with all she has to find out who killed Eve? Eve deserves justice. She deserves to rest in peace after so no one was arrested for so many years. Will her killer finally be brought to justice?

This book deals with several subjects. From teen abuse to teen molestation to murder. From friendships put to the test to a marriage put to the test. To family who can’t find closure to one that has many secrets. From a childhood ripped apart way to early. Best friends, Eve and Maggie, are put to the test about a few things. Maggie does not want Eve to keep putting up with the abusive boyfriend. Eve wants Maggie to make better life choices. Each has secrets. Each loves the other. But it’s not enough. One still dies and one moves on.

The characters in this book are well developed. I liked them all. I felt bad for Nola, Eve’s sister. She had problems for sure but she did love Eve. She may have been somewhat different and at times she was a pain and very dark, but I still felt bad for her. The next door neighbor I didn’t like at all. I won’t say more about him you will just have to read this book and judge for yourself. Maggie’s husband was a good guy and only wanted his wife and unborn daughter to be safe. She had many secrets she didn’t share with him but she loved him with all her heart. This is a book that will have you feeling sad in many parts. A few laughs and much edge of your seat thrills. You will hold your breath in many places and wonder who did what. Who killed Eve? And why.

This is a great book. If you love thrillers this one is for you.

Thank you to #NetGalley, #HARLEQUIN – Trade Publishing (U.S. & Canada)
Park Row, #HeatherGudenkauf, #ThisIsHowILied for this ARC. This is my own review.

I gave it a huge 5 stars and the biggest recommendation..

Review will be posted on 5.18.2020]

This is How I Lied is a heavy, powerful, and twisty read. Reading this book was uncomfortable at times, resulting in an unnerving reading experience where I didn’t know who to trust.

“Dark places made it so much easier to be cruel, to exact revenge.”

Maggie’s best friend was murdered 25 years ago and she’s now been assigned to work on her cold case. Told in the present-day perspectives of Maggie and Nola (Eve’s sister) along with Eve’s perspective of her final day, Gudenkauf crafts a gripping mystery where the focus is whodunit and why.

I mentioned the book made me uncomfortable, and that’s because the characters are all pretty horrible. I’ll say it: being inside of Nola’s head was unnerving! That’s kind of the point, but I didn’t really connect with Maggie for some reason, which at times made it difficult for me to care. I found myself most invested in Eve’s storyline leading up to the time of her murder. I enjoyed how Gudenkauf parsed out that information alongside the present-day investigation.

Each character and narrator holds a piece of the puzzle, and I like how the gaps to their knowledge played into their perspectives. There are also some mixed-media elements and doctor’s notes included, but for me I wasn’t sure how useful they are and in some places they repeat info rather than reveal clues. There is one thing about the mystery that just… doesn’t make sense based on the narrative, which did take me out of the story a bit unfortunately, but barring that tiny aspect, I enjoyed the twists and turns.

Gudenkauf’s writing is highly descriptive and I could envision myself in the story alongside the narrators. With fast pacing and a quick-wit, you will come up with a lot of theories about what truly happened… and with a cast of characters as bleak as this, there’s no shortage of suspects.

“Over the years, I lost my mom, my innocence and my best friend. This street has been a graveyard to me.”

The prologue captivated me immediate with the final moments of Eve’s life. I want to mention that this book handles a lot of difficult and potentially triggering subject matter, so please be sure to read my content warnings to ensure you are in the right headspace before picking it up. Poor Eve had a difficult life that only lasted 15 years, and from her abusive boyfriend to the creepy neighbor there are a lot of suspects in who killed her. I appreciate how this relationship is depicted and think it is important to depict abusive relationships where the character is trying to stand up and escape, but also how manipulating an abuser can be and how easy it is for them to regain control.

Overall, I found This is How I Lied to be a gripping read. I enjoyed feeling intensely uncomfortable and trying to figure out what happened. There is one twist that just doesn’t logically make sense to me, but I want to leave no spoilers so those interested can discover everything for themselves.

Content warnings: abusive relationship (physical and emotional, absent parenting, animal death & alluded torture, bullying, death of a parent, gaslighting, infertility and loss of pregnancies, murder, sexism, sexual assault, statutory rape, suicidal thoughts, victim blaming

eARC provided by the publisher as part of the blog tour in exchange for my honest review. Quotations are taken from an uncorrected proof and subject to change upon final publication.

This was my first book I've read by Heather Gudenkauf and I devoured this one. It caught my attention right from the first chapter and kept me engrossed while watching the story unfold all the way through, with a little twist at the end. Told from multiple points of view you really get the story from several different eyes. Many secrets that so many of the characters have held onto for 25 years begin to come to light. This was one crazy ride that keeps you on your toes. 25 years can harvest a lot of secrets and lies especially if your guilty of murder, at what lengths will one go to keep those secrets hidden.

Eve was murdered in 1995, now 25 years later her best friend, Maggie is reopening the cold case as new evidence has been brought forward. As Maggie begins to look back into her friends murder, Eve's sister Nola is on edge. Always thought to be strange people always wondered if she could have killed her sister. Nola wants Eve's boyfriend from 25 years ago to take the fall for her sister's murder. Nola begins to blackmail Maggie into planting false DNA into the evidence. You see Nola knows things that happened 25 years ago and wants her revenge. Maggie isn't sure what to do. Then things start to get even crazier when Maggie decides to visit the spot her best friend was murdered at. Maggie holds her own secrets like most of the characters and thinks she will finally come clean. Except for the fact nothing good ever happens at the cliffs. Will Eves' murderer ever be discovered?

As far as a mystery/thriller, this one was excellent. There were portions that I maybe didn’t quite buy as far as how things went down, but overall it was a gripping and evocative read. It was atmospheric and intense – I felt every emotion, saw every incident with a vividness that indicates the magnitude of the author’s talent in delivering a well-written scene.

I seem to enjoy the proverbial small town setting where everyone is in everyone’s business. This small town just happens to also be rife with bad seeds and deep, dark secrets. Fortunately, truth always tells… that or DNA testing. Threads of history keep unraveling as the horrible event and incidents leading up to the death of a beloved friend are revealed throughout an investigation by someone with very close ties to the murder. On the whole, it did what a thriller should – kept me on my toes and I couldn’t put it down!

Proof that it's been TOOO long since I read a Heather Gudenkauf book, This is how I Lied is a suspense read that kept me up way into the early morning hours. Told primarily through the lens of Maggie, Eve and Nola, we are whisked back to the night that changed everything. When a boot is unearthed from the Ransom street caves, the two decades old unsolved murder of Eve is reopened. With this comes the threat that long buried secrets held by her friend Maggie are at risk of being exposed.

There's an abundance of characters in this story, every one of them add something of interest and possibilities. But none more so than Eve's eccentric and frankly creepy sister Nola. It's clear early on she has an agenda and that aspect of the mystery is driving force in the plot. Every chapter headlined with her name made me anxious. There's just something so sinister about her. She plays head games with everyone and Maggie has good cause to be nervous about her.

The plot is well developed with twist and turns that left me constantly surprised. Just when you think you know the who behind Eve's death, there's more to be wary of and you'll wonder just how far Maggie will go to vet out the truth. Is she willing to face down her past in order to have the future she's hard for? Readers of suspense DO NOT miss out. Grab this book and secure a few hours of escape into a world of betrayal and lies.

When I started THIS IS HOW I LIED I knew I was in for a treat.
I'm a huge believer that every book we read from an author should be better than their last (I try to practice this as an author by working hard to make sure each book I write is better than the last).
This book - THIS IS HOW I LIED by Heather Gudenkauf is her best one yet! I loved the layers, the detail, the depth she went with her characters and the twists...every time I thought I'd figured the plot out, I ended up being wrong.
I'm sure you've seen her book everywhere on social media...and if you haven't picked it up yet, I strongly recommend that you do!

Wow!! Gripping, nail-biting thriller filled with suspense and unexpected reveals!!

A brilliant storyteller was author Heather Gudenkauf who could keep me enveloped in the suspense which dogged every step of the investigating cop. The author brought me to the comfort of a routine police procedural until she pulled the rug from underneath me with a twist.

Eve died twenty years ago... A cold case was she until the file was given to best friend and cop Maggie after the discovery of a shoe. DNA evidence was to be sent for and new truths would come to light. Murder solved, you would think!!

Ah no!! The author decided that the journey to the truth would be filled with perils where strange truth and dark psyche of the people around the dead girl came to light. A lot of emotions ravaged me, foremost was pathos for the child Eve who had been betrayed by everyone before she died.

Shadowed roads were shown to me where the light and darkness weaved in turns. I never knew how a particular scene would play out. All I could think at the end was - Gosh, this town surely was toxic... And each grappled with the need for power.

The atmosphere was kept just right, suspenseful most times, then desperation, helplessness, I couldn't help but drift along them. I was alone in the sea of emotions until the author brought the story to a dramatic finish with the final reveal. Whew!! What a ride.

The murder of a childhood friend leaves the sister vengeful and her best friend uncertain what happened the day Eve died. Nola accuses Maggie of Eve’s death taunting her with the conversation the two girls had in the caves near their house. Nola has carried this evidence hoping to blame a bully who had sexually assaulted her in their teenage years. Revenge is a powerful engine and Maggie has burdened her adult life with the fear she may have killed her best friend and Nolas sister in a heated argument in the caves. The back and forth from the real and the imagined give this story its heat. In the final chapters we learn the truth of that day and who really lied .

Gripping and disturbing. Heather Gudenkauf has crafted an addictive, dark and twisted who done it. 25 years ago Maggie’s best friend Eve was murdered. The case was never solved, but now there is a new lead and Maggie Who is now a police officer is on the case. Re-opening this cold case stirs up many secrets and old feelings,, not everyone is happy about it. A tense Mystery with plenty of suspects and secrets. So who killed Eve all those years ago? Was it the boyfriend? The sister? The creepy guy from the library? The older man? Or was it Maggie herself?

Told from three different perspectives and two different timelines we really are privy to the entire story. We get the present day perspective from Maggie and Eve’s sister Nola. We also get Eve’ss perspective leading up to the murder. Brittany Presley narrated the audiobook and did a spectacular job with all these character’s voices. Nola was one of the most creepy and unstable characters I have read in quite some time and the narration made her even more disturbing. Miss Presley masterfully gave this creepy character the perfect flat inflection to her voice. She also gave Maggie the perfect likable relatable voice. I really liked Maggie and felt bad for her waddling around eight months pregnant trying to solve this cold crime that had such a deep personal connection. There was a lot going on in the story including some triggers such as animal cruelty and abuse. I think it was handled well and it wasn’t gratuitous, but if those are triggers for you I do want you to know ahead of time. A very well told who done it with a very satisfying and tense ending.

This book in emojis 🚨 🥾 🩸 🧬 🍏 🌲

*** Big thank you to Harlequin for my gifted copy of this book. All opinions are my own. ***