Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for giving me a free copy of this advanced copy of the book to read and review.

Essay collections tend to be hit or miss for me, but Faliveno's collection was a solid hit. The writing is tender at times, heartbreaking at others, but regardless of tone, they will stay with me for years to come.

Oh right, that's why it was on my TBR list.

A few of these essays were slightly long to me, but otherwise 100% yes, this spoke to me.

Tomboyland is a well-written debut collection by Melissa Faliveno. Topics include gender, queerness, community, and relationships, as well as the Midwest, guns, BDSM, and tornadoes. Culture, too, is explored in depth. E.g., not just the choice of whether or not to become a parent - but what are women socialized to want or expect? What does it mean for a woman to not become a mother, watching her friends become parents?

The essays were structured to include current reflection, past memories, a little historical information, and cultural analysis. They're highly personal -- I loved the way Faliveno discussed feelings throughout, especially different types of grief. Of course, their being so personal also makes them quite relatable.

More than anything, it's the writing that had me wanting to savor this book, and now, to push it on my friends.

A collection of essays about midwestern life, gender, identity, and finding a space for yourself when you don't feel that you fit into any particular box. The essays hit on a wide variety of topics that bring us an interesting portrait of Faliveno's life.

As a once upon time tomboy from the Midwest, this book jumped out to me as a must read - it didn't disappoint. Faliveno's collection of essays unpack a lot of issues - identity, queerness, Midwestern life, politics, sex, etc. The writing is honest and raw and provides plenty of avenues of thought and reflection for the reader. There were a few uneven moments, but all in all, the collection is well worth the read - an affecting exploration by an author to watch out for.

This was a well written collection of essays. I have to say I greatly preferred while the author was writing about their identity and experiences to the almost journalistic pieces with interviews with loved ones on their take on the essay’s topic. The vulnerability to write honestly about oneself is beautiful and I hope there is more from this author. I liked that the essays were often at juxtaposition with each other but were real and honest to Melissa’s experiences. I especially enjoyed the essays “Tomboy” and “Motherland” in particular as they were unique and relatable explorations of things our society does not focus on. This was a pretty quick read although a couple of places dragged just a little for me. I felt a few of the essays could have been edited just a little bit, but despite this I thoroughly enjoyed each and every one.

trigger warning
<spoiler> transphobia, (internalized) homophobia, mental illness, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, rape, self harm, suicide, death of a parent, gun violence, mention of abortion and drug abuse, grief, alcohol abuse </spoiler>

These essays are about all the different parts that can make an identity. In Melissa Faliveno's case, her genderqueerness - I decided on the warning transphobia for everything that belongs to that essay, though Lou, as she likes to be called, doesn't identify as trans. Lou describes her identity as genderqueer, and I got the impression she uses she/her pronouns. Please correct me if I am wrong.
Lou talks about the different world her family on mother's and father's side come from, being a Midwesterner, her relationship to sports, to guns, how she feels about not wanting offspring.

Be warned that there are a lot of heavy topics mentioned. If you care to glance at the trigger warnings in the spoiler, you see there are a lot.

Some people and events in her life form a red thread that you can always glimpse here and there, like the time Lou was a member of a roller derby group - what's the compound word? Gang? Team? Not sure on that.

There are thoughts on vegetarism when you've grown up in a region where hunting is a normal thing to do, on polygamy when most people you've met till you were an adult were white, cis, hetero and monogamous.
How you can be queer and change your mind on some things without that meaning you've become conservative.

Mental health is a big issue, especially anxiety, trauma and grief. Adapting to new ways of living when you move from the country to the city, adapting to a new sense of yourself once you realise you might not be as cis as you thought.

While I clearly needed a break after some essays, I am glad I read them and that Lou shared her thoughts.
Especially her opinions on guns and gun violence were interesting to me, as someone who is not strictly anti-gun - but in Germany, where there are many laws to keep people from using their weapons instead of arguments.

I liked the writing and might look up what else I can find by this author.
The arc was provided by the publisher.

This phenomenal essay collection hit all the right notes in unexpected and thoughtful ways. Melissa Faliveno's thoughts on gender identity, coming from the Midwest, tornadoes, sexual orientation, desire, and so much more are all notable. I love how seemingly non-related topics are woven together so beautifully. Basically, Faliveno could write about anything and I'd read it because I am now thoroughly convinced that anything coming out of her heart/mind will be that good.

Tomboyland is bold literary writing from a voice that was new to me, but that I will visit again in the written word. Each entry in this collection is worth attention and examines life and perspective. The essay form is alive and well in Melissa Faliveno's work.

This book is a venture into the world of Midwestern women. Queer, bisexual, lesbian, androgynous and cis women with stories of self discovery, tomboy traits, fascination and history. It is an exciting read and one that can be used within feminist, women's liberty and history courses, in addition to gender education. As a whole, we need to accept people for who they are. These stories, some are full of pain and self doubt because of how people react to differences.

Big thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing a review copy!

Each of these essays packs a powerful punch. The author is able to weave together seemingly unrelated topics (for example, food and BDSM) in a way that delivers a clear message about the themes she explores. These themes include gender, sex, family, childlessness, and politics. This collection also offers a unique perspective, as the author remains close to her midwestern roots while exploring other aspects of her identity. My favourite essays were: Motherland, Switch-Hitter, and Of a Moth.

I did find the writing choppy and repetitve at times, however I still recommend this collection! I also think that this book should come with several trigger warnings.

This is a lovely introspective essay collection by Melissa Faliveno covering many topics such as gender, sexuality, family, home, and how one identifies. Underlying throughout the book is her home state of Wisconsin and the midwest as whole- people's misconceptions of midwesterners and some really interesting insights on growing up in that sort of culture. She moved to New York, but continues to visit family in Wisconsin so can view it both as an outsider, and an insider. I especially appreciated how affection is shown or not shown where she grew up, and the effects that it has. Family is seen is very important, but affection is not readily given. They may be less likely to talk about their feelings, which can have interesting consequences. Tomboyland is a mixture of personal stories and cultural observations. I really enjoyed this one.

Thank you to NetGalley and Little A for this advance reader copy for review!

I received a copy of this book to review from Netgalley. Thank you for the opportunity.
This book was fascinating and led to me thinking and reflecting on the topics discussed within this book. I learnt a great deal from this book, both profound and trivial e.g. The trolls. Its difficult to summarise this book into a single review as there was much content particularly under the surface which I feel would require second and even third reads to discover. The book could be picked up and read at any time as the writing flowed well and each essay covered various topics which were shown to be interlinked later. The connections that I discovered during the reading was a particular highlight for me. I feel like this book would have something new to offer each reader as the stories told interact with the readers experiences and background.
Personally, I felt that some sections of writing were unnecessary and that they took away from the rest of the essays. The essay are of medium length which felt a bit too long for me but this may differ for others.
On the whole, a thought provoking, intelligent book.

This essay collection comes from a great writer who clearly has a deep understanding of the craft of an essay, and how to form a book. I found the voice to be generally sympathetic and likable, and I want to give the writer a big hug. Unfortunately, I did find the essays themselves to be uneven, and battled thoughts of "so what?" at points while reading. That isn't to say this writer's life is unimportant or uninteresting, but I can't help but feel that the collection features a very passive narrator; the book is more so reflective and retrospective than action taking, and at times the book lacks forward momentum. Strong parts of the book, in my opinion, include the interviews with tornado survivors, the deep dive into the relationship with the high school coach, and her bits with the therapist about her internalized homophobia. I found the investigation of queerness incomplete and uneven, especially in comparison to how deeply we go into, for example, the weather and moths. I think a lot of academic readers, and probably other bisexual/queer readers, will go for this book, but while the writer is talented, I can't say I found it very gripping.

WOW.

5/5 Stars

I loved reading every second of this book it was so educational and told me somethings i didnt even know.
I loved every essay and the way this book was written
From gender, to kink parties, to just living in the midwest it was fun to read about.

This book can help alot of midwestern people who feel out of place or questioning themself i loved reading about melissa!

Overall this book was great.

Thank you netgalley for an ARC of this book i really wanted to read it and im glad i did <3