This book was absolutely heart-wrenching. I don’t think every student will be able to get into this book, but I can see more mature students who can see the depth this book holds.

I know I’ll have students who will enjoy this and I got a physical copy. It has a wide range of characters and stories that any kid could relate to it in some way.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for giving me a free advanced copy of this book to read and review.

This book left me in the best kind of emotional puddle. WHEN WE WERE INFINITE is my favorite kind of YA fiction- propulsive, filled with hard things, powerfully romantic, and the friend group where each character has depth and personality. Highly recommend this powerhouse of a book!

Such a good book for middle schoolers! This is relevant and has topics that lend themselves well to great discussions. It really helps you get into the mind of an adolescent

I am thinking of the much referred to quote from Emma: If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.
As someone who is known to diverge into long love-speeches about things that give me joy, I never thought I would be one to understand what this quote means. However, WHEN WE WERE INFINITE has put me in this position.

For the first time in my life, I was truly unable to put a book down, reading under my covers until 3 am.
For the first time in my life, I cried about a book. It wasn't even the saddest page, just one that brought all my bottled emotions to surface and burst my dam.
For the first time in my life, I feel my irrational, unsaid fears put on paper.

This novel is remarkable in every way. Highly, highly, highly recommended.

I can confirm the writing for When We Were Infinite is just as beautiful as the cover design! This is a fantastic and hard-hitting YA novel perfect for both teen and adult audiences. I can't wait to see what Gilbert writes next!

Kelly Loy Gilbert shredded my heart with this gut-wrenching story. Her writing is the type that makes other authors (hello, yes me) never want to attempt to write anything ever again. That said, this story will completely destroy any shred of emotion you possess, and you won't even realize you're gutted until you reach the last tissue in the box desperately needing more.

A group of diverse best friends who are members of their high school orchestra. They do everything together until an act of violence tests the bonds of friendship. Can their friendship survive? A beautiful book about friendship and loss.

What a lovely, quiet novel about friendship, love, growing up, moving on, and the fear that's tied into ALL of those things. I think that teens will absolutely be able to relate to this book because so many of Beth's feelings and her inner narrative is one, I think, we have all felt. That feeling of uncertainty, unrequited love, and the fear of a friend group disbanding because time means growing up and moving on. I also appreciate how flawed Beth was, the mistakes she made, all of that felt so real and made her character easy to empathize with.

Just an absolutely lovely book, one that would incite an interesting discussion with teens, and one that definitely deserves a spot in library collections.

I am a huge fan of Kelly Loy Gilbert's work, and while this one didn't strike me in quite the same way, it is powerful in its own right. The language and characterization are beautiful here, and the characters' heartache comes through on every page.

This book is so much more than a coming of age young adult book, and explores so many themes that I'm surprised they all fit into this book. I wish I read this book as a teenager or at least very early adulthood but since I am much older than the target audience it didn't make as big as an impact as it should. This does not mean that the book is bad, quite the opposite actually.

Gilbert has a magical way of making you feel everything that Beth (the main character) is feeling from the very beginning which sucks you in. Considering the contents of the book and being so invested in the emotions of Beth will make some parts very hard to read and get through for some readers. They were times however that I found Beth to be a bit irritating, not sure if that was the adult in me but certain actions or times (especially around her mother) which made me want to reach in a pull her out to explain that she should stop.

I had remind myself multiple times that Beth is just a teenager and combined with her neglectful father, picking a college, and being faced with what's going on in Jason's life, this is a very tumultuous time in her life. She is not always going to make the most logical decisions and what may seems obvious to us won't be for a teenage girl who has no reason to rely on anyone but her friends.

Overall, this is a very powerful book.

I ENJOYED…
☂️
Before heading into this review, a fair warning: When We Were Infinite is NOT an easy read, at all. It deals with a whole damn lot of tough topics (mentioned in my trigger warnings above) and, personally… it was triggering to me. Read with caution and take care of yourself, always.
This is my first book by Kelly Loy Gilbert and I have to say: I get it. I get the hype surrounding the author and why I’ve been told to read Picture Us in the Light so many times, too. The author clearly has a way with words and especially with crafting three dimensional, realistic, complex characters you can feel everything for.
I’m always craving stories about friendships and When We Were Infinite really puts it up front and center. I loved that. This story is about 5 friends in their senior year of high school, their close-knit group and how everything falls apart. The closeness between Beth, the main character, and her friends was so heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. It’s tough to know you found your people and to feel like you might lose them.
From the start, I had a complicated relationship with Beth, given that, personally, I found a little too much of myself in her anxieties. That being said, I can’t deny that she was a compelling character and narrator and one you can really FEEL everything for. I also loved how real, three dimensional and complex she felt, how deeply I felt like I knew her and her thoughts, desires and fears by the end of the book.
The relationships in this book were all lovely to follow, as well. In addition to the friendships, all unique and with their own dynamics, we get to follow’s Beth complex relationship with her mother, too.
When We Were Infinite is about fitting in, about feeling like you can never be good enough, about being biracial and the Asian-American experience, about holding on when you should be letting go. It packs up a punch and will leave you breathless with emotions and feelings squeezing your heart okay. It’s a tough read, but it’s also a beautiful one.

I HAD A HARD TIME WITH…
☂️
This is entirely a personal thing, but reading When We Were Infinite triggered me a little bit. There were moments I just had to take breaks because I just couldn’t handle it. So… yeah, unfortunately, that made my reading experience a little tough, at times.

OVERALL
☂️
If you’re looking for an emotional contemporary read with a great emphasis on friendship, I’d definitely recommend When We Were Infinite. If it ended up being a little bit of a tough read for me, I still recommend it if you can handle it!

When We Were Infinite was a hard read. It covered a lot of hard topics. That normally wouldn’t bother me, but since the pacing felt so slow it just seemed like the longest, saddest book. Beth wasn’t the best MC. She was bratty and pessimistic. I was much more interested in her friend’s stories. The ending was hopeful though, and that honestly saved this book for me.

This book was tough for me to read. I had a boyfriend in high school who tried to commit suicide and this book brought up a lot of similar emotions and feelings I had at that time. And as someone who has anxiety, seeing Beth's struggle with anxiety and that feeling of loss of control and selflessness almost triggered me. It was just so heartbreakingly relatable that part of me wanted to put the book down, but I kept going, because I wanted to see what happened. 

This story is not a lighthearted contemporary. If you're looking for something fun and quirky, that takes minimal energy to read, this is not a good book to go with. This book dives into the feelings that a lot of students face, but particularly Asian-American students. Our main character, Beth, is Chinese-American and is mixed race, with her mother who is Chinese and father who is white. As a mixed race person, Beth is not white enough to fit in with white people, yet not Asian enough to fit in with other Asian kids. She feels lost, in a category of her own, and struggles a lot with her identity. 

In addition to Beth's desire to fit in, she's also the child of divorce. Her father left Beth and her mother and all she has wanted since then was to get in his good graces. In trying to fit his mold for her, Beth gets in the habit of molding herself into what people want her to be, instead of who she actually is. This makes me so frustrated at times. I'm a people pleaser. It's so hard not to change yourself to fit what people want or expect of you and watching this poor girl shut down her own wants to fit what she thinks other people want made me so angry. Especially when it comes to violin, the instrument she plays. I grew up playing flute and allowed myself to listen to other people instead of following my dreams and it has been the biggest regret of my life. It makes me so upset to see her push aside her dreams and desires to please other people, like I had done. 

While I don't want to spoil anything, there was one character in particular I had mixed feelings about: Jason. Jason, Beth's friend and crush, is going through a hard time. And after he tries to kill himself, it's clear there's a lot he's dealing with. But one thing about him that I couldn't ignore was his complete nastiness towards Beth, who wants nothing more than to help him. While her tactics can be a overbearing, Jason just completely snaps on her multiple times and every time he jumps on her, I want to punch him. Maybe it's because I see a lot of myself in Beth, or I can relate to some of her struggles, but I'm very protective over her and if anyone messes with her, it gets me really upset. Though I am not completely biased because I'm aware that Beth does not make the best choices and is struggling herself. 

Overall, I really liked this book. I didn't expect to like it this much, especially after the slow beginning, but it has grown on me. It brought up a lot of feelings I had in high school of feeling lost and out of control, especially watching the people I love suffer, but the reflection it offers is almost soothing. Gilbert definitely has a way with words and it made me reflect on the experiences I had and come to appreciate the lessons learned.

Trigger warnings for domestic violence and suicide

Beth has finally found the place she belongs, in her tight-knit group of friends who feel more like a family than her own, broken family does. With her friends on her corner, all Beth needs to worry about is practicing the violin for symphony and where she’ll get into college—and how close, or far, her best friends will be when they leave for school next year. But when Beth accidentally sees one of her friends experience domestic violence from his parents, things start to spiral as their group reckons with this news and its fallout.

WHEN WE WERE INFINITE is full of gorgeous prose and heartbreaking scenes that showcase the fragility of even the soundest of relationships. Beth and her friends have specific experiences as Asian Americans, Beth especially as mixed race, but their high school lives are intertwined and intricate in a way that any teen or adult will be able to connect with. The premise of this novel sets up readers for a heavy read, but I will admit I was caught extremely off guard by one character’s suicide attempt and would certainly provide that warning for anybody I recommend this book to, whether it is one of my more mature students, or a friend.

This book is one that I know will stay with me for a long time, in the best way.

*I received an eARC of this book from the publisher via NetGalley*

I had *very* high expectations for this book due to my love for Kelly Loy Gilberts previous novel, Picture Us In The Light, and while I thought this was still good and well done it unfortunately didn't quite live up to those expectations.

This book caused me immense stress. I found it hard to read because Beth struggles so much with anxiety it's palpable. I felt anxious while Beth felt anxious. Because of this it was hard for me to "enjoy" the story even though I did think it was well written and beautifully told.

I also *hated* how Beth treated her mother. I understand she was a teenager and teens aren't generally known for giving their parents the benefit of the doubt, but it was still hard for me to read. I've found that as I get older (and I'm still very young in the grand scheme of things) it gets easier for me to sympathize with the parents in these YA novels so it just made it that much harder for me to see where Beth was coming from, especially because of how much she idolized her deadbeat father. Luckily the story does show how Beth learns and grows, which I appreciated.

I liked how the story showed a tight knit friend group and the trials and tribulations of going through their senior year unsure of how their paths will diverge after high school. The friend group has to deal with this already hard thing ALONG with something very intense that one of them is dealing with. This is definitely a real thing teens go through and I appreciated how it was shown through Beth. As mentioned, she is a very anxious personthe representation of the Asian main characters as well. There is also the added complexity of Beth being mixed race which (fwiw) I thought was done well.

I was a bit disappointed about Beth's violin playing. I would've appreciated maybe more descriptions of her playing or just more to show how much she loved it. It felt like, along with everything else, she was just doing it because it was expected of her or other people wanted her to do it. I don't think even Beth knew she loved it. She was good at it, but it didn't even seem like she knew that either? Her orchestra teacher is the one who suggested applying to schools for music, It hadn't even seemed like it had crossed her mind. Not because of money or because her parents wouldn't like it (she even mentions how her mom would be thrilled actually), but for no discernable reason. It just seemed like she didn't really care until the end. Which might've been true, maybe that was supposed to be part of her characterization? That she only cared about her friends? But if so it didn't come through clearly enough.

The ending was nice, but it left a few loose threads that I wasn't completely appreciative of. Most noticeably Beth's anxiety is never truly dealt with. Beth starts having panic attacks and yet she never goes to therapy or tries to get any medication. She never gets any real help she just starts to practice her violin and it appears her anxiety just... went away? What? I didn't love that.

Overall like I said this book was written well and I appreciated the story that was told. I would recommend it to anyone interested, just go in knowing the mindset the character is in and that the writing really puts you in her place.

Kelly Loy Gilbert is one of my favorite authors, and I've been looking forward to this release. This book is the first of Gilbert's that follows a female protagonist's perspective, and this character is the most like me. Grace is not the typical teenager. It is difficult for her to relax and be in the moment. When her friend goes through a life crisis during their senior year, Grace struggles with supporting her friend and determining where she will go to college.
I wanted to like this book, but I found it difficult to connect to Grace and her friends. I never felt invested in the characters or the plot. I usually enjoy Gilbert's writing style because she takes time with the story and descriptions. Unfortunately, in this book, the writing style is more tedious to read. I thought this was a realistic depiction of high-functioning mental illness. However, I don't think it's a good enough read to recommend.

When We Were Infinite is beautiful, powerful, and so freaking painful to read. Beth Claire's life centers around her friends, Brandon, Sunny, Grace, and Jason. With their senior year comes their final Homecoming, college applications, and the inevitable change that comes with the next page of life. Before the toils of college acceptances and rejections, Beth's relationship with her friends is altered after private matters in Jason's home come to light. This book has truly left me feeling hollow in a way I haven't felt in a long time. Being in Beth's head for the entire story is exhausting but at the same time I have never experienced a fictional character's thought mirror my own so accurately.

Beth's emotions are like bullets that just ricochet all over the place and it takes her a while to find out where they come from. That creates an incredibly turbulent reading experience and I cannot even tell you how many times I wanted to shake Beth out of her thoughts. The ironic thing, is that many of Beth's thoughts are ones that have come across my mind as well. The desperation of wanting to keep everyone happy and doing everything to mediate tense situations, I couldn't hate Beth without hating myself. Seeing Beth's journey throughout the story is like watching the sun come out from behind the clouds and finally shining brighter after being stuck inside a storm. As she reconciles her fear and her anger with herself, she is able to rebuild her relationship with her friends and most importantly, her mother and finally find the comfort she's been craving.

Despite its difficult topics, When We Were Infinite also made me reminisce and miss my friends so much. The relationship that Beth, Sunny, Grace, Brandon, and Jason have with each other is so uplifting no matter how up/down things get. I loved how Kelly Loy Gilbert didn't forget to include the reason why we as people create relationships and friendships in the first place - the comfort of companionship, of feeling seen, of knowing that someone will always be there - that makes the dark times bearable in the end.

As the characters embark on their college chapter, the story shifts its delivery format to more of a vignette style and highlights the group experiencing life away from each other. It felt kind of jarring at first because I was suddenly taken out of being very interconnected with everything to seeing events unfold from more of a distance but I appreciated being able to watch them, especially Beth, grow out of their comfort zones and mature in their outlooks on life. When We Were Infinite is a story that highlights the messy and the good when it comes to friendship, the fears of growing up, and learning to understand the space that we take up in the greater world community.

Well written, appreciated some of the turns of phrase. Heavy subjects mixed with a lot of teenage angst. Not my favorite, but overall not a bad read.