This book is not one to read quickly. It requires thought and has to be processed well. His sermon series on YouTube are absolutely amazing so this book will definitely touch a lot of people.

Like many others, I discovered Michael Todd through his sermon series, “Relationship Goals.” I instantly like Todd; he was funny, cool, relatable, and practical. What I loved most about him—though I didn’t know it then, was Todd’s uncanny ability to make everything about us. His sermons elevated me and tickled my ears, so I binged-watched them and believe everything he said.

Last year, however, through various circumstances, God opened my eyes, and I realized Todd did not handle the Word of God correctly. I stopped listening to him and scraped all his teachings or quotes from my blog. I had no intention of reading his first book, Relationship Goals: How to win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex. But, when I saw it was available for review, I got curious.

I still had the notes I took two years ago, and I wanted to see my reactions now and exercise my discernment skills. My findings were worse than I thought.

Relationship Goals has some strengths. It is easy to read, funny, and practical. Todd shared several stories that probably resonated with many readers, and there are some biblical teachings in the book.

But overall, it is not faithful to Scriptures. The overarching theme of this book is looking out for number one. It’s all about us and doesn’t point to Christ. Todd rarely quotes the Bible, and when he does, he takes most of them out of context and twists them to support unbiblical teachings. Here are some examples.

On the gospel
Todd said our most important relationship is with God, and we must get it right before we can get any other relationship right. I wholeheartedly agree with that. But he wrote about it for only two paragraphs. If our relationship with God is that important, doesn’t it deserve at least a chapter?

He didn’t give a clear gospel presentation to help readers understand how to get to a relationship with God. Here is what he said about salvation.

“And if I’m being honest, I hope you make that same decision for yourself (inviting the Lord Jesus Christ to become your savior). It’s so easy. According to Romans 10:9, all you have to do is ‘declare with your mouth: Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, [and], you will be saved.’ (NIV). If you want to take a minute to do that right now, I promise it’ll be the best decision you’ve ever made. And if you are still not sure, it’s okay. I believe that at just the right time, you’ll know what to do.”

Notice there is no mention of sin or repentance.

On singleness
According to Todd, our singleness should be about us. He said, “a good period of singleness means learning to be a unique self.” And, “Singleness is the time for ‘I’ invest, imagine, and inspire. Invest in what you want to see grow in your life. Imagine what you could be tomorrow if you started today. And inspire others by using everything you have to make a difference.”

This is not what the Bible says about singleness. God ordained singleness as a period to serve Him without distractions.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 says, “the unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things of the Lord, how to please her husband.“

I find it telling that Todd didn’t mention these verses about singleness in his book. My guess is because it doesn’t fit the self-centered thesis.

Todd also encourages us to use singleness to learn to love ourselves. He said, “According to the Word of God, there’s a prerequisite for loving your neighbor: you can love your neighbor only at the level that you love yourself. Crazy, right?… There is no way you can figure out how to love somebody else well in a relationship if you have not first figured out how to love yourself in singleness.”

The Bible does not teach us to love ourselves. When Jesus said to love others as we love ourselves, he implied we already love ourselves. The emphasis was on loving others.

Simple proof: there are dozens of scriptures that say to love others, but there is none that says to love yourself. If it is a prerequisite to fulfilling the second greatest commandment, wouldn’t the Bible say more about it? Instead, Jesus said to deny yourself (Matthew 16:24), and Paul equated loving oneself with godlessness (2 Timothy 3:1-7).

On dating
I like that Todd said dating should be intentional, not recreational. Also, he encouraged us to date in a God-honoring way and set boundaries. But the bulk of his teaching was narcissistic.

For example, in the chapter about ending relationships, Todd said when God wants to bless us; He sends people in our lives, and when the enemy wants to distract or destroy us, he sends people in our lives (he didn’t provide any Scripture to back up that claim). Therefore, Todd described relationships as assets and liabilities and encouraged us to examine the people in our lives to see whether they add or take value from us.

Todd said, “There were people in my life who were greedy, who didn’t care about me or care about what God cares about. So I made the intentional decision to invest only in relationships that are reciprocal. In other words, others bring something to the table as well. It has deepened and enriched my relationships and saved me so much time and heartache, as the people I’m embracing embrace me back.”

Besides this statement being incredibly selfish, it contradicts Jesus’ teachings. Jesus said to love others expecting nothing in return; He didn’t say to embrace only those who embrace you back.

Luke 6:32-36 says, “if you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.”

There is no merit in interchange as it is easy to love those who love you back. Christians must love like Jesus who died for us when we were still His enemies (Romans 5:8)

On sex
I liked that Todd discouraged sex outside of marriage and gave some biblical reasons. But he lost me when he started his discourse on soul ties.

Todd said, “soul ties happen when someone allows his soul to become attached to someone or something that has the power to affect him.” For example, David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1), and Paul and Timothy (1 Timothy 1:2) are soul ties.

There is no such thing as soul ties in the Bible. David and Jonathan had a deep friendship; they didn’t share a mystical bond of the souls. Neither did Paul and Timothy.

Regarding soul ties through sex, he used Scriptures like 1 Corinthians 6:15-17 and Genesis 1:27, which says, “the two will become one flesh.” There is no mention of soul ties in these texts. Moreover, it says the two shall become one flesh. The soul and the flesh are different.

Then he started teaching about spiritually transmitted diseases. He said, “You might be able to protect your physical body against things that can be transmitted sexually, but what about things that are transmitted spiritually?“

And to make matters worse, Todd said we could and should have soul ties with Jesus. His proof text was 1 Corinthians 6:17, which says, “whoever is united in the Lord is one with him in spirit.” Again, no mention of soul ties and the text says spirit.

This entire section reeked of Myles Munroe’s teachings. If you don’t know him, praise God. He was a false teacher.

On marriage
This section was like the previous ones. Todd rightly said the purpose of marriage is to glorify God and to model the relationship between Christ and the church. He mentioned the importance of both spouses being closed to God and used the famous triangle illustration. But there were barely any Scriptures mentioned, and he didn’t explain the few he quoted. Todd based most of his teachings on his experience and wisdom.

There are many other doctrinal issues in Relationship Goals, but this review is already too long. Suffice to say I do not recommend this book. It is not faithful to Scriptures, it is narcissistic, and has several false teachings.

*WaterBrook & Multnomah graciously gave me a complimentary copy in exchange for an honest review.*

This book is a must-read for everyone who wants to know how to put God in your relationships. Not just romantic relationships but your relationships with everyone. Mike Todd breakdowns barriers and taboos about relationships and pairs it with scriptures to show you examples. As well as he is very transparent about his life and the situations he has gone through. I would definitely recommend this book.

This book is a must read for individuals in any type of relationship! It doesn't matter if you're single or have been married for 25 years, you will get something out of this book. Todd teaches us biblical ways to how we should approach and be in a relationship, giving us little tips and tricks to help us along the way. I think everyone who wants to get the most out of their relationship should read this book!

I absolutely loved this book by Michael Todd and found it to be very engaging and easy to read. The advice is not new in most "progressive" church atmospheres but I really love the way Todd presents all of the information. Anyone who is a fan of Michael Todd's "Relationship Goals" series from Transformation Church will probably be familiar with his opinions and enjoy what he has to say here.

One thing that really stuck with me, and something I honestly judge most Christian relationship books by, is how the author approaches singleness. Often times in the Christian community, singles can be looked down upon and made to feel like we should almost be ashamed or feel like something is wrong with us because we haven't found a partner yet. I feel like it was refreshing to see the way he discusses singleness, not as a fault, but as a strength. He also doesn't downplay that people might desire to be married one day, he simply shows that being single is also a positive stage of life to be in.

I received a free eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review - thanks NetGalley and WaterBrook & Multnomah!

I wasn't sure what to expect from a book about relationships by a married pastor because for us Catholics, priests can't get married. However, needless to say, advice from a married church leader is more on point than someone who's not.

This book definitely exceeded my expectations. We get to know Pastor Todd in a highly personal way, as at the beginning of the book, he talks about his childhood and uses humor to recall his early attempts at dating, all the while inserting his personal photographs. I think this certainly adds value to a book on such an intimate topic as marriage and sex.

I can't say the knowledge itself was new to me. Todd explains why all our relationships and sex need to serve the God's purpose for us, and why causal dating and sex are not serving that goal. He explains why we shouldn't simply follow our feelings, which is one reason why people give up on Christianity. However, Todd pairs this existing knowledge with useful step-by-step guides and a compassionate look at why such views of love are not 'old-fashioned,' but necessary and 'cool' if looked at in a new light. I think a large part of that is the author himself - looking admittedly 'cool' on the cover, talking about marriage in a fun, highly millennial language.

*Thank you to the Publisher for a free advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This book surprised me with how refreshing it was and easy to read. And it also contained some gems for all stages in life: being single, dating, and marriage. Critically, Todd outlined that all relationships should serve to assist us in our purpose to both love God and others plus whatever specific calling God has placed upon one's life. These are important guideposts and yardsticks in determining whether a friendship and/or loving relationship should be pursued.

With a very down-to-earth manner, Todd engages the reader like the two of you are hanging out in your lounge room chatting. He's open and shares some of his failings in relationships and doesn't profess to be the expert. He's just simply providing some straight forward and God-inspired wisdom from his own experiences in relationships.

Most of the emphasis in this book is on dating and marriage, however, there are definite principles that can be carried into friendships. I thought the detail around our relationship with God was perhaps a little scant but it's hard to cover everything in one book. I liked how he presented marriage as being 1+1+1 = 1 and the notion of 'oneness' which Jesus prays for us in John 17. The final chapter where he brings his wife, Natalie, to also write from a woman's perspective on the keys to a successful marriage was very beneficial.

I enjoyed it and would happily recommend it.

I received an ARC e-copy from Waterbrook via NetGalley with no expectation of a favourable review.

Oh my goodness I absolutely recommend this book to EveryOne. Single, married, significant other this is a book worth reading and keeping for reference. I really enjoy Michael as a pastor and now he’s proven to be an amazing author of relationships

Ok, I will admit that I knew early on that I was not within the target audience of this book (although I thought I was when I requested it). With that being said. I DO think this is a very good book for young adults and/or youth who need a solid foundation and some footing when it comes to what relationships really are about. There are good practical applications, personal experiences, stories, and overall it was an easy read. I've watched a lot of of his clips on youtube and his same passion and friendliness does shine through his writing as well. This could be a very helpful read in a group session amongst youth & young adult groups that could provoke meaningful conversation.

Thank you NetGalley for an advanced digital copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

This was phenomenal! In this book we explore everything from singleness through marriage. There was a great balance between biblical principles and real world examples, without it being heavy handed. I have been recommending this book ever since I finished and have encouraged everyone, whether single or married to pick this up ASAP.

This relationship guide is relatable straight forward examples based on biblical principles. The author gives us steps to having a successful relationship. This resource is full of relationship advice, premarital counseling, and trouble relationships. This book was very convincing. I like the straight biblical sequences. They were really appreciated. Whether you are single, dating, or married this book is for you. The author was not afraid to speak the truth. This book is full of wisdom, knowledge, and truth to building lasting healthy relationships. I got a lot of “ah-ha’’ moments and tears. Be prepared for your life to change once you read this book and adhere to what is being done. I do recommend this book. I give this book 5 stars. And don’t forget a pencil/pen, notebook, and highlighter.

Starting this book I had a list of things I expected my future husband to have and some of the things on the list were ridiculous but now I don't have it. Relationship Goals is a book every single person should read.

For some of us that grew up in the Black church, we did not get the advice some of us needed in regards to healthy relationships. And this is not to blame them, because they taught us what they knew. But as times change, what we teach to those that we are tasked to teach and mentor must change. Pastor Todd is definitely not your grandmother's pastor. And that's what makes this book so human and realistic. It is still a Godly word from the bible, but it put things in today's more relevant terms. And I'm sure some people will look at the title and think, "Yes, I'm going to be told how to find my Boaz". Na, sis, it ain't that type of book, but you will still need to read it. And the book covers more than just romantic relationships. This was such a great read, and I'm glad I read it.

I recieved a copy of this book via Netgalley and Edelweiss Plus and am voluntarily leaving an honest review.

In 'Relationship Goals', Michael Todd takes the popular hashtag and leads the reader to contemplate what a truly goal-worthy relationship should be-- beyond the hashtag, beyond pop culture, to what he calls "a biblical model of right relationship ... so that you can minimize the pain and start to benefit from the rewards."
Todd draws from experience from his life, church culture, and pastoral ministry to candidly and accessibly discuss sex, dating, and marriage to what seems to be the target audience of millennial Christians struggling to muddle through all of pop culture's inundation, to quiet the voice of pop culture and to tune our ears to the whisper of the Spirit.
I recommend this be read alongside Tim Keller's "The Meaning of Marriage" and Lore Ferguson Wilbert's "Handle With Care".

Relationship Goals, How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex written by Michael Todd is a book with a lot of potential. I did receive the unedited proof. What I believe could make this book stronger and truly transform hearts is the use of scripture reference to back up the points that Michael Todd does make. When I read this book I was surprised at the amount of personal interpretation but there was no scripture to be found before or after the story is told. I believe that personal interpretation is a wonderful tool to emphasize what is being said in the scripture. However, leaving it completely out of the sequence is a major mistake that this book has. The Word of God is the only thing that can truly transform the heart. I was really surprised that there was not as much scripture because I listen to Michael Todd on almost a weekly basis and that man is FULL of the word.

The one major thing I loved about this book is the emphasis on soul tie’s. There are not enough books that warn people about the dangers and even science behind the consequences of fornication and premarital sex. I love the transparency shared in this book and that it was easily relatable. I understand that Michael Todd is ‘HOT’, humble, open, and transparent. But when I read about the “little swimmers”, I thought about the young audience potential reading this book or those who struggle with purity. I feel that this could lead down a road one does not need to go down. I do love the transparency and relatability that Michael Todd does share with everyone he deals with, because the world has real problems and needs real solutions.

Overall, I enjoyed the book and do think that the use of scripture and personal interpretation brought together could truly transform hearts. I love the relatability but there must be a point where we have to step back and say this could be a stumbling block for someone else. I only found this in one place in the book, which is great! I absolutely loved that Natalie spoke at the end, she is a great writer and it is so important to have both the husband and wife’s perspective. The emphasis on soul tie’s is what really made me happy to read this book and would make me recommend it to someone else. I would recommend this book to late teenager’s, young adults, or anyone who desires to understand purity and the difference between #RelationshipGoals and a godly relationship. With all of this being said I would give Relationship Goals 3/5 stars. Scripture is the only thing that can truly bring transformation. Without it, its just personal interpretation and nowhere for Holy Spirit to convict and bring repentance through the Word.

Relationship Goals feels like advice from a really wise best friend who just wants the best for you. Armed with biblical wisdom, Michael Todd weaves his way candidly to a conversation not many relationship books are willing to have. A perfect book with some really sound advice!

I have heard Michael Todd speak and was blown away, he writes in the same way! It's like I can hear him while I'm reading which made this a great book and easy to read, learn from. Would highly recommend!

Relationship Goals was full of so much witty and truthful wisdom and insight. It kept pulling me in and I read the book in a 24 hour period. There are so many truthful, honest, real life applications that anyone can apply whether single, dating, or married. My favorite chapter is the last one in which both husband and wife speak truth candidly. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to grow in relationships.