This is the book I have wished I had for years when women have come to me seeking counsel on their relationships being affected by pornography. This book is a gift to the church and those in ministry. I think it will have a tremendous impact on many lives for the good of the gospel.

I received an advance copy of this book from the publisher and Netgalley however all opinions are honest and my own.

July 04, 2020
FIGHT FOR LOVE
Rosie Makinney

I have read this for the purpose of review from Net Galley. WOW is my first response. Shock
is my next response. The story is TRUE, the numbers are accurate and we need to stand for
righteousness.

A subject that most of us do not wish to believe this is happening but PORN is and has destroyed
many families. The impact on America and the world has been devastating. "Porn is not exclusively every man's battle. Porn is everyone's battle. Wives are not only deeply affected; they are vital to winning the battle". Josh McDowell also believes the biggest threat facing Christian marriages and families is internet porn.

Rosie does an excellent job in writing the recruitment manual for an army helping wives recognize and understand the crucial role wives play in keeping their household porn-free.

All of that said, it is not only men but women are increasingly participating in internet porn.

PLEASE read and learn how to help your children. She gives book titles for young children to be read and discussed for that age another book for older. Make no mistake, the trafficking world, the world of drugs and other illegal activity has its beginning in porn.

I've busted my fiance watching pornography numerous times. When I would find out I would try to explain to him how it makes me feel. It's a known fact men please themselves more often than women do but knowing he was watching all these young girls always made me feel like i wasn't attractive. It usually ended with us not talking for a couple of days and him still not getting it.

It's been a couple of years since I've busted him. Maybe he's more careful or maybe he's stopped. It's still always there in the back of my mind wondering.....

I wish i had this book when we were going through those issues. Perhaps a different approach would've helped out sooner. I really enjoyed this read and if the problem ever rises (pun intended) I will be sure and reference this book again.

Thank you Netgalley for allowing me to read this ARC in exchange for my honest review. However I am choosing not to post on Goodreads because i do not want my friends to know about this issue.

According to Rosie Makinney (and many others), porn use is rampant in society, marriages, and even among Christians. She married someone addicted to porn and they struggled through it together, healing their marriage and going on to help many other couples. In Fight for Love: How to Take Your Marriage Back from Porn, she offers hope for escape from the cycle of porn in marriages. Speaking from her own experience and the experiences of many others she and her husband have counseled and met, she shows a path to healing and reconciliation.



Makinney is adamant about a few things. First of all, no matter what defense one might make of the industry or of particular genres of porn, she writes that "there is no way that pornographic use can be considered acceptable in the eyes of God." Sexual immorality is roundly condemned throughout the Old and New Testaments, and Jesus leaves little question when he says that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has committed adultery in his heart.



Writing from a Christian, biblical perspective, Makinney calls on the church to own up to the issue of porn, speak openly about it, and offer paths to healing. According to one survey she cites, "at least 78.8 percent of all men that attend evangelical churches watch pornography. . . . Sixty-four percent of all Christian families have an acute problem with pornography." Yet churches, for the most part, are silent or uninvolved in leading men (and women) out of the traps of porn. Churches have to be willing to "publicly show the world that Christians are just as tempted by porn as they are!" The response, though is key: to show that "we have a great hope in Christ."



Makinney is very positive and hopeful, not condemning at all but encouraging and empathetic. I did wonder about the disconnect between her numbers and the reality I observe in church life. Here's my question: if a strong majority of Christians are using porn, why are churches not full of broken down marriages? I mean, I know there are broken marriages in churches, obviously, and many couples become skilled at covering up their problems. But if 3/4 of evangelicals are using porn, it makes me wonder if there's a continuum of users, from those whose marriages are basically unaffected and pretty healthy, to the worst cases whose marriages and lives fall apart due to porn use. I think of a parallel to drugs and alcohol use, a continuum from the social drinker to the functional alcoholic to the addict who destroys his life with drugs and drink. Nevertheless, whatever the degree of dysfunction that porn has introduced into a marriage, Makinney has help, and Jesus brings hope.





Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

If you're a wife who has discovered her husband's porn use, but you're just not sure what to do, pick up a copy of Rosie Makinney's Fight for Love. Makinney draws from personal experience and from research to offer women understanding of the problem--that porn addictions are like any other addiction and hijack the husband's brain. Makinney also talks candidly, transparently, and honestly about topics like what a faithful Christian response looks like, the truth about recovery, some tools for recovery, how to walk with others, and how to porn-proof kids. She offers hope that healing can happen and the fight for theri marriage is worth it in the end. She offers women help and hope when they need it most but have no idea where to look for help.

What I appreciate most is that while Makinney helps wives see that their husband's porn problem is not their fault. Shealso helps wives see that they are a big part of their husband's recovery--by drawing a line in the sand and taking a stand that porn will no longer be allowed in the home or the marriage. I also apprecaite how Makinney makes sure wives understand that a complete recovery plan involves both spouses because both need healing--and it's something that can help draw the couple together as they take a stand and fight together for their marriage and agains porn.

The author doesn't fall back on some well-meaning but mistaken advice often given in Christian circles , like "just have more sex" or "if you would just _____, then your husband wouldn't have to look at pron." Instead, Makinney helps wives see that most of the time, husbands already come into the marriage with an addiction and it had nothing to do with her in the first place. At the same time, Makinney does help wives see that how they respond to their husband's addiction can set of a crazy cycle and how they may need to deal with their own sexual brokenness.

As Makinney points out from Josh McDowell's commissioned survey, there is almost NO difference between porn use in the church and outside the church. So this book is timely, wise, and extremely helpful. I applaud Rosie Makinney for having the guts to do what most others in our culture are unwilling to do. She has taken a clear stand on pornagraphy and its devastating effects in marriage while at the same time offering hope and practical help for wives who have experienced the betrayal of a porn-addicted husband. Her new book, Fight for Love shows women how to fight for their marriages because, Makinney says, the rewards on the other side are worth it. Most women who discover their husbands have a porn problem have no idea what to do or where to turn. That's where this excellent resource comes in. It's a practical guide for women chock full of wisdom, and she points women to many helpful resources for recovery.

I highly recommend this book. It's a great resource for wives who want to fight for their marriages. It's also a great book for Christian counselors, pastors and others who might be supporting women in the fight for their marriages. It's just a good book to have in this day and age, because our culture is so infiltrated by porn.

Note: I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for this honest review. The opinions expressed are my own.