Raising Them is the memoir of Kyl Myers and her journey in raising her child, Zoomer without an assigned gender. This is not a guide or how to, but a true memoir, delving into Myers’ life and background, as well as her personal experience as a human and parent. That said, as a fellow gender neutral/creative parent of a toddler, I found the perspective and shared experience affirming, validating, and insightful. My spouse and I arrived at the decision to raise our child without an assigned gender from a different route, and our approach may be different, but there are still lessons I will take from Raising Them in how to approach certain situations like talking to teachers and adult strangers about my child’s gender identity.

The one piece of advice I would offer to fellow readers is to go into this understanding it’s more of a memoir than a guide. Expect the personal narrative and you’ll leave fulfilled.

I highly recommend this to just about anyone exploring gender identity — their own, their child’s, or another persons — and especially new and prospective parents. I don’t agree with everything Myers has said or done, but I do absolutely agree that we can help make the world a better place by breaking down gender stereotypes and norms from childhood. There is no reason a child needs to be told what their gender is before even understanding the concept. It’s just not as big a deal as we’ve decided it is.

Myers also gave a really wonderful TEDx talk in 2016 that can serve as a basic overview of this memoir if you want an idea of the content without reading the full text.

That said, I will absolutely be purchasing a copy.

This was a very interesting memoir, written in a highly engaging style that I found entertaining, informative, and endearing without ever devolving into the saccharine-sweetness that plagues so many positive family memoirs... I wasn't familiar with Zoomer's tale from the Internet - I'm not on Instagram and apparently missed the media circus surrounding their life so far - so came into this one cold. I don't think it helped or hurt my read - the tale was compelling and sweet and poignant all on its own. Myers has a very easy writing style; you fall into her words quickly, and the mixture of funny, touching, and clearly heartfelt anecdotes and experiences grabbed me by the heartstrings from the opening salvo.

I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop - it never did. This isn't a cautionary tale or one of redemption. Instead it is the unicorn of memoirs: a genuinely happy story without twists or agony. That isn't to say everything is always sunshine and roses. Parenting is hard, and gender-creative parenting in a gendered world adds an extra layer of challenge at times. The challenges and associated stress are presented honestly and fairly, as are their resolutions. This isn't about one parenting style over another. It's about deciding what's best for you and your family and seeing that decision through. It's a refreshing thing to read a memoir that doesn't leave one depressed (or sugar-sick with the overdone positivity), and I for one hope to encounter more of these rare beasts. It was a lovely tale of a well-loved child and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

Interesting way of parenting.

Thanks to author,publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free,it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.

I really enjoyed reading this book, but I think anyone going into it looking for a how-to isn't going to find it here. This is definitely one family's experience, more memoir focused than guide focused. The perspective of the author is especially helpful in documenting their experience, providing some context, history, cultural significance, and the details of how her family has navigated gender creative parenting, but in the end I think her unacknowledged privilege was a little distracting for me. I would like to add, though, that it was refreshing to read a memoir from a member (or former member) of a religious practice that isn't a radical disavowing or affirmation of their beliefs and how they shape the authors life, or in this case perspective on queer issues. Also, the studies cited about the way parents set different expectations for their binary-gendered children was interesting, and something I'd like to read more about as a queer parent.

A cisgender, progressive couple decides to raise their newborn genderless. They decide before the baby is ever born that they will allow him/her to decide their gender when it naturally evolves. They advise close family member, friends, and teachers that the child who is named Zoomer will be addressed and referred to as "they" and "them". Most people in their orbit are happy to oblige. This books travails the terrain between in-utero and the first 3 years of Zoomer's life as questions of gender and sex arise, mostly directed towards the parents, and how such questions are answered. By book's end, we are no closer to understanding whether or not this decision has reflected positively, negatively, or not at all on Zoomer's assimilation into preschool with their peers, and how the family will proceed during puberty.

Raising Them: Our Adventure in Gender Creative Parenting is a memoir about Kyl and Brent who are raising their child Zoomer using Gender Creative Parenting. This means that they do not assign a gender to their child rather they let their child live life as a kid and explore the world without any gender stereotypes.

I have followed Zoomer's story on instagram and I loved getting a deeper look into their family. Hearing how they navigated this world with their own family, friends, and out on their travels was so interesting to me.

This book made me think about the ways I gender stereotype my own children every day and will make me think about what I say to them going forward. This is a great read to help anyone understand the role of gender stereotypes on children development.

Thank you NetGalley for the free review copy.

~ARC received in exchange for an honest review~

'Raising Them' written by Kyl Myers, PhD is a memoir portraying her families venture into 'gender-creative' parenting - a term that is new to me but is a welcome alternative to the term 'gender-neutral' which I've always felt is a bit 'meh' and doesn't really do a great job representing the idea of allowing children freedom and a safe environment to explore all that life has to offer, rather than be limited in their life experience by their anatomy. If 'neutral' is beige, then 'creative' is a rainbow.

The author, a sociologist, is well versed in the research, statistics and data behind why it's beneficial for children to be raised in such a way, and is simultaneously a parent raising a child of their own. For that reason I consider this an ideal resource for anyone looking to explore alternatives to traditional childhood gender socialization, for whatever reason that may be.
Myers experience combined with education humanizes what could potentially be portrayed as a lofty ideal and 'Raising Them' is written concisely and in a way that's paleatable to the reader. Myers as a person generally comes accross as compassionate, self-aware and conscious of how best to present her philosophy intelligently and gracefully, without arrogance or preaching. I've found it useful in affirming my thoughts and feelings on the subject and I'll definitely be revisiting in the future as I navigate my own parenting journey.

This book has come along at just the right time for me. On the first day of the new year I delivered my third and final child - after two sons this is our first daughter and it's opened up a can of worms in terms of gender socialization and just how differently children are treated in society based on their anatomy even before birth. It's something I've been spending a lot of time thinking about recently. In the summer my two older children will also start school and preschool on the same day - suffice to say that my family is entering somewhat of a new chapter in life and it can be difficult to unlearn certain ideas and go along with what feels natural when met with constant opposition from the outside world, which it feels like we are now fully entering. I've found this book to be affirming and validating and in reading it I feel encouraged moving forward.

Parenting is very personal and I appreciate the Courtney-Myers family putting themselves out there for all the world to see and want them to know that their efforts are more than worthwhile. This book is an opportunity to literally tell their own story and it's impossible to rate any less than 5*

~Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the opportunity to review this title~