I'm not 100% sure what I think of this. I am worried that this verges on the edge of being antisemitic with this main character having sexual fantasies with Hitler. I can't speak to that as a someone who isn't Jewish but some of the plot points in here are startling.

Additionally, framing transgender people as sex addicts is transphobic. I wonder how both of these plot points were actually published in this day and age.

Thank you to Netgalley for allowing me to review this title. I am a few years behind. I'm not sure what I was expecting with this book, but this wasn't it...

I don’t normally live stream of consciousness books, but somehow it worked for this book. Parts of it felt really interesting and new, others seemed unnecessary. I think authors can talk about Germany and being German/not totally knowing how to move past the holocaust (and if they even should), but the ways in which this author did this just felt like too much.

This novella is a monologue of a woman that is seeing a medical professional and just lets her freak flag fly. She denounces being German, discusses sexual fantasies with Hitler, waxes vulgarity, and expresses her views of being a woman and how it is not befitting. I felt that this book was very crude at different points, however I think some of this is necessary when it is discovered what type of Dr Seligman is. She ultimately does not identify with herself. If you don't mind a lot of discussion of cocks in many different avenues, this novella is probably not for you. My head is still reeling a bit. Thanks for the ARC, NetGalley.

This little book completely surprised me. I went into it with absolutely no idea what I was getting into. Honestly- while that strategy worked for me, it might not be the best way to approach this book considering it deals with Hitler-centered sexual fantasies, sex robots, gender identity, national identitiy, workplace violence, Germany’s (lack of) reckoning with the Holocaust, and many other things that are there for shock value of some kind. Without spoiling too much, the entire book is a monologue in the presence of a doctor of some kind. Is the narrator trying to shock the doctor? Is the author trying to shock us? Both? Does it matter?

There’s a lot packed into these 131 pages, and I had a difficult time trying to pick out a few quotes that I either loved and/or had me cracking up, but here are a few:

On the world in general:
“If it were up to me, the sun couldn’t explode soon enough and put an end to all this raging stupidity.”

On wearing a “Baby on Board” badge:
“Yet the badge also brought its limitations, and I stopped wearing it when I realised that it gave every last prick permission to stick a moral finger up my ass and drown me in a concern for the unborn, which they very rarely exhibited for anyone outside a womb.”

On parental approval:
“It’s like the slime my mother covered me in before forcing me into this world, and the idea that I was once part of her flesh still fills me with dread. Her love was always too much, too embarrassing, too indiscreet. A father’s love can’t be compared to that; there is an element of choice in it—it’s something you can win and, of course, something that you can lose. Gaining our father’s love is, in many ways, our first achievement, have you ever observed how flirtatious babies are? They must know that nobody will respect them for their mother’s love alone, and that everybody finds it so much more moving when we manage to conquer a reluctant heart.”

That thing that everyone thinks about this movie but doesn’t say:
“Like the boy in that stupid Titanic film. We all know that there would have been enough space for him on that plank, but we also know that this was the only way to turn this into a love story.”

On women in religion:
“It’s of course much easier to be religious when you are a man, and yet I could never understand why a single woman ever went to church, or any of the other temples, Dr. Seligman, because no religion I have ever come across had anything nice to say about women.”

On life smacking you in the face:
“When I don’t think of my life as a basketball that bounces off the rim and hits me in the face, I think of it as one of those blindfolded lines, as someone who always tried to walk straight because I couldn’t see and no one bothered to tell me that it was impossible.”

So, to sum up- this is a short and hysterical (if you like dark and twisty humor) read that also has a lot of thought-provoking things to say about identity. I really liked it.

I was rather confused by this book and had a pretty difficult time getting into it as a result. I'm not sure if this was quite for me.

I’m hesitantly giving it a 4. If I was only to consider the writing, I wouldn’t be hesitant. I felt the stream of consciousness narrative style moved really smoothly and gave an honesty to the story that I love. It may feel too polished and a little performative for what is supposed to be a candid conversation, but I’m not so bothered by that.

Our protagonist is speaking with some doctor (the specific kind later revealed) about basically her inner most thoughts. Embarrassing and weird thoughts we all have (not her exact ones) but no one ever talks about. This is my favorite kind of “weird” book. The honest, human one. Some people would read her fantasies about fucking Hitler and jewish robot cock and think its ridiculous, too niche, over the top, but I was delighted by the absurd nature of her confessions. I felt I could see which parts of her history as a post-holocaust German, trans woman led her to her dark fantasies/actions.

Said transness is where my rating hesitancy comes in. As a cis person I don’t have the authority to evaluate whether the trans experience was represented well so this is only my possible concern! I’m also not sure whether the author is trans. I couldn’t find anything about her being trans. There were some things that felt accurate with trans stories I’ve heard like not understanding why she isn’t allowed to do “boy things” when she’s young. But then there are some things that feel like the transness is a misdirect. She speaks of seeing femininity as weak and inferior which I worry implies wanting to be ftm is merely for the societal perception and power of being a male. In an interview the author said about her character,
“Obviously you can’t change the fact of the language you’re born into or the geographic location you’re born into. And she’s trying. She doesn’t want to be German necessarily, she doesn’t want to live with that burden and that guilt. But the only thing she can really change is her gender, that’s something she can do.” That feels like she wants to be trans for the sense of control, not for the base fact that she is in the wrong body. This is not to say there aren’t good examples that make me think the character truly is trans: “Not to be like him but to be him. And not because I thought that he would have gotten a better deal from my parents but because he was a boy.”

BUT then there’s also this, “It was then that I knew for sure that she had stayed in there with K and Emil had left with me. That we were finally safe.” Its possible thinking of her female and male sides as separate is a coping mechanism, but I’ve never heard a trans person use “we.” It was always just a singular “this is who I am, which is NOT the misgendered label I was born with.” It feels possibly inaccurate to say there are two people inside her and she “became” the male one instead of having always been him. All that is to say, I’m not necessarily convinced the author understands the trans experience. What has to be considered as well, though, is she never uses any official gender words, so if we frame it more in the mindset of gender fluidity and not the ftm box I think is implied then that might loosen some criticism.

That concern being stated, I can say I did like her treatment of being German (which the author is). When she speaks of the holocaust she says “we” did this or that. There’s an ownership of actions (even though she wasn’t alive) that I thought was really cool to see. And there were some illustrations of german behavior post-war that I found interesting.

I also liked the discussion about mental illness and about love. There was great metaphor use and great observations about ✨feelings.✨ In the end, its a novel about identity.

I’d love to hear trans and German perspectives on this book!




(Thank you to Netgalley and AVP even though I’m late on my review!)

Thanks to Netgalley and Avid Reader Press for the ebook. This is an amazing, funny, boundary pushing monologue. A German born woman, now relocated in London, has an appointment with a doctor and gives a blistering monologue about her confused sexuality, her Hitler obsession and fantasies, her controlling mother and a lover, only identified as K, who she seems to have great love for even though, or maybe exactly because, he was married and had children and generally treated her so badly. Even with all these things that she constantly goes back to, she has such a sense of life and the darkest humor you could imagine.

‘The Appointment’ by Katharina Volckmer is a fascinating, inventive, and darkly hilarious stream of conscious novel. It’s a quick and entertaining read told in the narrator’s unending monologue to their doctor during a medical procedure. Details are slowly fleshed out in terms of the narrator’s state of mind and details of the medical procedure. I can see the comparisons to Ottessa Moshfegh as there is a lot of really sharp black humor and situations throughout the novel. Although deftly written, the importance and direction of the narrator’s monologue wasn’t clear to me, so I’m not sure what to make of this novel. It was truly hilarious and bizarre at times, making it an enjoyable unconventional novel .

Thank you NetGalley and Avid Reader Press / Simon & Schuster for providing this ARC.

I am conflicted by this book. I really wanted to enjoy it. It does have some hidden gems which kept me hoping and searching for more. It fell a little short for me because it just wasn't there. I think with more time she's going to be a great author but not with this one. The writing is awesome but her story voice is muffled. Happy reading!

From a literary perspective, I recognized Katherina Volckmer's talent and ingenuity. The stream of narration here is entertaining and inventive at times, but I'm not as fully on board with the praise that this novel has received in multiple venues. The insights of the narration we're not frequent enough to hold my interest, and I found myself not interested in the trek of Investigation to find some gems. However I'm fully aware that the language and nimble exploration here suggest that Volckmer has more to offer and I look forward to that

A stream of consciousness from a character in a doctor's office challenging notions of what it fixed and what is fluid.

I was so intrigued by this premise but sadly I just wasn't captured. I found the monologue style hard to focus on and needed more character or more plot. I finished it yesterday and to be honest I couldn't really tell you what happens. I did finish it because it is very short, but sadly this wasn't for me.

The most current New York Times Book Review featured a blurb on this novel and pushed it to the top of my Netgalley reads. I was interested in reading a Contemporary German author and it certainly was an interesting read. The whole novel is a monologue of the protagonist with her Gynecologist. Being a monologue made it a little hard to concentrate on it as it was a non stop ride. It's very well written, but I had my issues with the subject matter. I ended up skimming through a lot of it. It was certainly a fascinating concept, it just wasn't for me but I am still glad I had the opportunity to check out the work of first time novelist Katharina Volckmer.

The Appointment follows the thoughts of a German woman while at a doctor's visit.

Told entirely in a stream of consciousness format, the novel basically combines what I would call mini-essays and describes the life, struggles,fears and questioning of an unnamed woman while she is examined by her doctor. She addresses the doctor occasionally, so we get a sense that there may be a conversation going on but we only ever her the woman's side.

I zipped through this novel, and while it is a short read, I would actually credit that to intelligence and humor of the writing. This novel was a rare read for me, being equal parts entertaining, introspective, sharp and self aware.

I enjoyed it entirely and highly recommend it to basically everyone!

Thank you to Avid Reader Press/Netgalley for the ARC.

This short - stream of consciousness book from Katharina Volckmer is unlike anything I've every read. This is what so many contemporary writers try to do and fail. This is......*chef's kiss* perfection.

Thank you to netGalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read and review.

I requested this book from Netgalley because of the comparison to Ottessa Moshfegh, whose writing I love. I can see why that's a comparable writer, but I could not connect at all to this book. What I love about Moshfegh is the narrators are often unlikeable, but have a sort of funny aspect to their personalities that you can't help but keep reading. In The Appointment, I just didn't understand the narrator at all. The stream of consciousness was hard for me to follow.

The story is short and fast - all told through a therapy appointment, which I thought I would like! But I could not stand the narrator and her bizarre rantings. Of course, I can't review this book without discussing the Hitler sex fantasies (which is something I never though I'd have to write..?) I couldn't tell if this was supposed to be some form of commentary or shock-for-shocks-sake but I just found it to be so weird and uncomfortable.

The writing flows easily and is thought-provoking, although it can feel like a deluge of words at times. I think that this book would be better suited to a reader who is more comfortable with a non-traditional/non-linear story. Not my book, but not a BAD book.

Thank you to Avid Reader Press/Simon & Schuster for an advanced reading copy in exchange for my honest review.

𝗗𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝘂𝘀, 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝘀𝘁, 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗻𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗶𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲.

I kept seeing this book on lists for most anticipated fiction, now I understand why. It certainly pushes readers out of their comfort zone. A medical exam is the stage for a long confessional and Dr. Seligman (a Jewish gynecologist) is the audience. At times it is perverse but always dark, funny and bizarre. Born in Germany but now living in London, Sarah begins her appointment telling her doctor that she once dreamt she was Hitler, high on the Aryan ideal, feeling like a fraud. Then there is the guilt of her homeland, tormenting her and yet an inheritance, which certainly cost Jews their lives, is the only way to access this doctor. She really can’t absolve herself of the sins of the past.

Ruminations on death, gender, love, sexual fantasies, the holocaust, Nazis and always family history and how it shapes the self. You can’t erase your origins, but maybe you can be reborn. How do we come to terms with the sum total of who we are, how we arrived here, what it cost others? Are we defined by the sins of others or possibly deformed by them? How can one be a proper man or woman, confront their otherness, deny their cultural extremes? What about the forms of love? There is a clever line about sexual robots and the idea one can ‘turn my companion off when I have no emotions left.’ The narrator goes full speed ahead with unmentionable thoughts, fears, like electrocution through sex toys. You can’t help but laugh about the ridiculous things people do when the urges strike. We don’t talk about that openly, but the narrator is safe to purge all her wayward thoughts in the ears of her doctor, who better than someone with your life in their hands? These thoughts consume her and her sexual identity.

The author undermines the things we hold as solid in life with dark humor, but the struggle our narrator is going through grows heavier as the story descends into the territory of our human body, deeply connected to our minds. How clever the lines about a barking cat, and what the society is willing to tolerate within or outside of the norms. It is incredibly smart at times and shocking in the measurement of shame. It is provocative, maybe too much for some readers, but the intelligence can bite you when you least expect it. The terrifying intimacy of bodies, especially when we’re first aware of the differences between youth and age, we are mirrors for each other just at different points in time. How we are chained by its demands, confined by its boundaries. None of us can escape our bodies.

This is a big appointment, mentally and physically, it has taken Sarah her whole life to get here. It is about the force of will, on the self and others. How her German upbringing forms the way she perceives much of the world, like the words she speaks, how you can’t scrub these connections even if you sever the branch of the family tree you perch on.

This story is difficult to review because the sexual fantasies are like being flashed by someone during a serious lecture, it verges on the ridiculous and despite the humor, there are very engaging thoughts within. Sarah is liberating her mind, that always makes people uncomfortable. It all makes sense by the end.

As I turned the pages I thought, ‘what am I reading’ one moment and then by the next felt deeply engaged, surprised by the taboo subjects but she is a wise author, our writer. I also loved the squirrel story, how love infects and cures us. This book is original, no one can deny that. One of the oddest novels I have read this year, very curious what her next tale will be about. The Appointment has a strange allure that may not be for every reader but I am glad I kept reading, there was more beyond sexual fantasy. Like she says “I think that most perversions are born out of a sense of insignificance..”

Publication Date: September 1, 2020

Avid Reader Press

Simon & Schuster

Well, the comparison to Otessa Moshfegh was accurate. I disliked what I read of this book as much as My Year of Rest and Relaxation. The steam of consciousness style of writing coupled with an odd plot just did not capture my interest. I appreciated the dark humor buy it just was not for me.

Terrific read unique writing style storytelling by a very talented author.A stream of consciousness narrative a female patient talking to her silent therapist Dr.Seligman.The stiory she relays has twists and turns that will surprise and hock.A short tight novella that kept me turning the pages.#netgalley#avidpress

I enjoyed that this book was basically the narrator's stream of consciousness and it was well written but this book was not for me. The story was strange and the doctor is a good listener, He listens to every aspect of her life and becomes obsessed. Thank goodness this book was so short because it was struggle to get through. Perhaps other readers will like this more than me.

Thanks to Netgalley, Katharina Volckmer and Avid Reader Press for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Available:9/1/20