"It's hard enough living one life; no one should have to go through the trouble of living two."

How It All Blew Up is a great coming of age story by Arvin Ahmadi about high school senior, Amir.  Amir is gay and Muslim, but his family doesn't know.  To keep them from finding out, he runs away on graduation day...to Rome. On the journey of a lifetime, Amir ends up finding himself, friends he can call family and a new outlook. Told in first person in an interrogation room, with some short alternating viewpoints from his parents and sister, this story unfurls in an extremely readable fashion. Throw in some amazing references to Nina Simone and Mean Girls, and I couldn't put this book down, reading it in its entirety in a few hours.  I could picture this becoming a Netflix movie or series one day.

Disclaimer: The quoted text is from an uncorrected proof of this book that I received from Penguin Teen and NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

How It All Blew Up by Arvin Ahmadi // ⭐️⭐️⭐️

CW: LGBTQ+ character outed by others, homophobia

How It All Blew Up tells the story of Amir Azadi, an Iranian-American teen who, due to fear of being outed to his traditional family by his classmate, skips his high school graduate and flees on an impromptu trip to Rome. From there, Amir stumbles into a group of gay men who take him under his wing as he tries to figure out where his life is headed and how to truly be himself.

❤️ Likes:
* #ownvoices storytelling
* Diverse main character
* LGBTQ+ story
* Setting the story in Rome
* Amir’s personal journey of self-acceptance
* Amir’s hilarious little sister, Soraya, and the family dynamics in general
* Interesting storytelling structure and narrative framing

💔 Dislikes:
* A lot of plot conveniences
* Some unrealistic plot elements
* Some of the characters in Rome lacked depth or were a bit cliché

Overall, it wasn’t one of my favorites but an enjoyable read for fans of LGBTQ+ YA fiction.

18 year old Amir Azadi always knew coming out to his Muslim family would be messy - he just didn't think it would end in an airport interrogation room. But when faced with a failed relationship, bullies, and blackmail, running away to Rome is his only option. Right?

A thing: as someone in the queer community, this book desperately made me want to run away to Rome to make my own queer found-family. If only...

How It All Blew Up made me sob at 2 in the morning when no one was even awake to rant to. It is so brutally honest and raw and heart-wrenching; it touches on so many important topics -- homophobia, coming out, prejudice, Islamophobia, the fact that not everything is black and white. That last chapter in particular really just took me out to the backyard and slammed me over the head with a brick.

But, of course, among the tears were bucketfuls of joy. The humor is impeccable and had me laughing obscenely at all hours of the night. All the quips and one-liners had me grinning like a fool. And guys... the nipple story. Oh, my God. No spoilers, of course, but... I cannot stop thinking about the nipple story.

I adored Amir as a main character, and I was utterly impressed with how Ahmadi presents him. In YA fiction, it often happens that our protagonists sound like they're in their mid-30s rather than late teens. That is not the case here: Amir is 18, and his thoughts and dialogue and actions reflect that, and I loved it. All of the characters were wonderfully distinct and unique and fun. I honestly loved all of them.

How It All Blew Up is a necessary edition to your shelf; you'll cry, you'll laugh, you'll spend an hour convincing yourself that purchasing a plane ticket to Rome just to feel closer to the character is not worth it... (but what if it is?)

How It All Blew Up follows a young gay man, Amir, who "runs away" to avoid having his sexuality outted to his Muslim family by a blackmailing peer. This novel was a huge disappointment. I believe the intention was a "feel-good" story about accepting yourself and being proud of you who are when others may not approve. What we are left with is a rushed story with plot holes, undeveloped characters, and stereotypes galore! Italians have far more culture than pasta eating and Vespa driving. Every character seems to have deeply flawed relationships, which is not only unrealistic, it's deeply unsettling. We are led to believe that Amir is scared of having his parents know his sexuality because they are Muslim, but there is little to no representation of the practicing Muslim family and it's left to be very ambiguous.
I feel like I have read better LGBTQ+ books out there that support the same idea of acceptance with a complete story. This one just did not do it for me.

Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Teen Publishing Group for allowing me to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I had heard nothing about this book when I was given an advanced copy...but it was SO good. The story begins with Amir and his family detained at the airport after a family argument on the plane (because raising your voices while brown is like that in our society nowadays).

But that's actually where the story ENDS. While detained, Amir and his family recall the events that led up to Amir's whirlwind escape to Rome: first love, blackmail, self-acceptance. It's a journey that seems unlikely at times (a high school senior makes enough money from editing Wikipedia posts on the downlow to travel and live temporarily in Italy), but Amir is so adorable and the friends he meets in Rome are the kind of supportive, encouraging found-family that all LGBTQ youth deserve.

I wish there had been a bit more closure at the end of the book--there were several things left unanswered--but overall it was enjoyable read that I didn't want to put down. Definitely adding Ahmadi's Girl Gone Viral to my TBR.

What a beautiful story of accepting your identity. When you want to keep your culture and history, but also the parts that that culture denies. Amir goes on an adventure. Your classic one crazy summer kind of adventure. I love the way this story is told in constant time hops. That we hear the whole story. That as bad as things may seem, they always got worse. And better. This was a feel good story for sure, despite the heartache.

Before I read this book, I did a cursory review check on Goodreads and what I found wasn't great... and that makes me sad, having read this book now. I adored this so freaking much.

Amir is an 18 yo .getting ready to graduate high school. His traditional (not exactly religious) Muslim family doesn't have any clue that he is gay and he fears they wouldn't respond well. But, he and a handsome jock have been spending a lot of time getting acquainted in the privacy of this boy's car. When another boy at school threatens Amir with a photo of he and the boy kissing, Amir doesn't know what to do. If Amir doesn't pay this guy an amount of money that he doesn't have, he will out Amir to his parents during graduation. So, Amir does the only thing he can think of... he runs!

Amir takes the money he has and heads to Rome, Italy. There he begins his journey of self discovery. He meets a group of welcoming people, some gay, some not. But, he is able, with the help of this newfound family, to come to terms with who he is and understand his sexuality. The people he meets are pretty wonderful. And through the summer that he spends in Rome, he does some great things, but in true human fashion, he does some pretty stupid things, too.

One thing I don't tend to like in books, especially YA, is when a certain plot point is based on a lie told. Amir tells these new friends a lie and when the truth comes out, it alters his experience there and how some of the most influential new friends of his see him. While, I understand why he told the lie, that was the only thing in this book that I didn't care for.

Ultimately, this story is told between two settings. One is Amir telling his story of being in school, leaving right before graduation and his time in Rome. The other is an interrogation-like situation where Amir and his family are detained after an argument between he and his parents on a flight home. Because of the color of their skin and the fact that they are Muslim is the reason they get detained, but the Muslim culture isn't a HUGE aspect of this book. It is in a general sense, but I mean that in the way that it was written in the way that the author is assuming that people know a general knowledge of Muslim and Persian culture. It isn't the forefront of the story, but it is present.

I completely adored this story. I loved Amir and all of his fears and flaws. He was a wonderful human who was just scared of his family knowing he was gay. I loved his little sister, who was 100% a champion for him. I loved the group of people that he came to know in Rome and all of the wonderful growth they helped Amir attain.

"How It All Blew Up" centers around an important topic prevalently found in YA novels -- a teenager struggling with their identity, pressured or threatened by friends, peers, family, or even strangers. High school senior Amir is a Muslim (more cultural, less religious) who happens to identify as gay. But he's pretty sure his family won't be supportive, so he's decided to keep this part of himself secret until he can steal away to an out-of-state college in a few months. When one of his classmates threatens to out him if he doesn't pay up, Amir finds himself faced with a decision: admit that he's gay to his family or run away. Before he knows it, he ends up in Rome among a group of gay men who help him discover himself and come to accept who he is.

The story is told in media res, as Amir and his family are questioned by the TSA. The family got into an argument on the plane ride back from Rome, and they were all detained in an act of racial profiling. The events from the past few months unfold as each person tells the TSA agents what led to the argument on board. While this added some minor suspense to the story, I found that this (among other things) made it hard to suspend disbelief. Even though the book is quite short, I found it difficult to believe that any TSA agent would care to hear the nitty-gritty details about a teenager's travel, love life, and self-discovery.

I also found some of the events that happened to be too coincidental and in places...odd. How convenient that Amir just so happened to stumble upon a welcoming group of gay men the moment he arrives in Rome. How convenient that one of them also happens to be Muslim. I'm just saying -- if any 18 year old left home for the first time to live in a foreign country, there is bound to be at least a FEW hiccups along the way. The worst thing Amir runs into is having to stay in a less-than-ideal Airbnb for a few nights before he gets to camp out in his new friend's place.

While I found the overall plot to be engaging enough, I didn't love the writing style. I couldn't handle the number of cliche metaphors/similes, and some of the more bizarre ones. If it were any longer, I probably would have rated it lower, to be honest.

Overall, I happy to see more representation in the LGBTQIA+ YA genre. The story is short, accessible, and interesting, and it will resonate with some younger readers who want to see themselves featured in stories like this.

Amir's parents are Iranian and pretty traditional. -5 points.
Amir's mom watches the Ellen Degeneres Show +1 point
Amir's father makes derogatory comments about a gay couple. -10 points

The score just isn't adding up in Amir's favor. How can he possibly tell his parents he is gay and risk that their love won't extend to a son who doesn't meet their traditional expectations of what a son is? So when another student threatens to out him, Amir does everything he can to avoid them finding out. In a last ditch effort to avoid their dissapointment and ire, he hops on a plane to Rome where everything will change.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I think Ahmadi did a nice job of explaining how Iranian culture looks across two generations and how that may influence a young adult in Amir's situation. I also loved the group of people Amir found in Rome and how they helped him to explore who he is and who he wants to be. I would certainly recommend this book to my readers!

First of all, thank you to Penguin Teen for sending me an eARC of this in exchange for an honest review!

Eighteen-year-old Amir Azadi doesn't want to come out hi Muslim family, and when pressured with an ultimatium by a fellow classmate, Amir hops on a plane to Rome to avoid the mess of coming out. Amir falls into a supportive group in Rome where he learns Italian, but he's lying about why he came to Rome.

I haven't read anything by Arvin Ahmadi, but I've heard wonderful things, and I was lucky enough to be a part of the cover reveal on Instagram for How It All Blew Up! I love the rep, the book is absolutely necessary for LGBTQIA+ representation.

I will say, I wasn't a fan of the writing style. The timeline skips between an interrogation room and his time in Rome, and I personally didn't like it, but I think part of the problem was because of the bad formatting on Kindle.

Overall, really enjoyed it!

4 out of 5

How It All Blew Up by Arvin Ahmadi is a #OwnVoices novel that tells the coming of age and coming out story of an eighteen-year-old, just-graduated high school student, Amir Azadi, who has had a challenging senior year in a brand-new town and at a brand-new high school, and who, on a whim, jets off to Italy, skipping his graduation ceremony to escape blackmail from two of his classmates, who keep demanding money, in order to prevent them from informing Amir’s Iranian parents of his sexuality. During Amir’s senior year, he had been hooking up with Jackson, a senior football player; however, Amir had to avoid Jackson so he wouldn't be “outed” by Ben and Jake, who possessed a picture of Jackson and Amir kissing. At first, they demanded $1,000, but after Amir paid them, they demanded more money. Amir’s life began to go downhill, especially after receiving college rejection letters, and feeling that he had let his parents down. This led Amir to the realization that disappearing, “just for a little while,” might help him avoid the stress. And all of that… led Amir to Italy, where he met Neil, Jahan, Giovanni, Rocco, and Francesco, etcetera, a group of gay men a decade older than Amir who opened his eyes to the life and culture of Italy, and international pop culture prior to the 2000s; Amir also met Valerio, a potential love interest, and Laura, an Italian singer who was studying abroad in America but was home for the summer. Amir’s experiences with all of these quirky and lively individuals gave him the confidence to embrace his own truth while he navigated avoiding his parents, who wanted to find their missing son.

How It All Blew Up by Arvin Ahmadi is told through first-person point of view by Amir, but it also contains the point of view of his sister, Soraya, his mom, Roya, and his dad, Afshin, as they recollect their own versions of summer events to U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers, after an incident on their return plane ride home from Italy to the United States. All in all, How It All Blew Up is a story that many teenagers and adults will be able to relate with, as we all, at some moment in time, have conflicts with family members and friends. While I do have some minor quibbles with the beginning of How It All Blew Up, and how the open relationship is portrayed between Giovanni and Rocco, etcetera, as well as how the beginning of the novel was set-up, I particularly enjoyed all aspects of Amir’s adventures in Italy; it literally felt like the author was transporting his readers to Italy. I also enjoyed the inclusion of Amir’s sister, mom, and dad, and their unique voices and perspectives to the story. The character development of all of the side characters was done well; the only person I felt that I didn’t know as well as I wanted to, was Amir himself. Amir often acts like a naïve, dumb teenager, even though he professes to be, “very legit in the Wikipedia world,” as someone who is paid to made and edit pages, as a Wikipedia editor. The author, Arvin Ahmadi, also edits Wikipedia pages, so I often wonder how much of the novel is based on his own life. This fast-paced read was really enjoyable and relatable, and it was full of great hidden humor and life lessons.

A warm-hearted and much-appreciated thank you to Penguin Group, Penguin Young Readers Group, Viking Books For Young Readers, and NetGalley for providing an advance copy! Please make sure to pick up a copy of How It All Blew Up at your local book depository.

Thank you so much @PenguinTeen, @BookishFirst & @NetGalley for giving me this physical ARC & eARC in exchange for my honest and unbiased review (Release Date | 22 September 2020).

SYNOPSIS | Amir Azadi feels like he has no choice but to run away to Rome before his high school graduation for fear of being outed to his traditional Muslim parents. Amir has not told them that he is gay.

WHAT I LIKED:
- I like how the story shifted between what happened in Rome and then current day in the interrogation rooms of US Customs
- the pacing made the story perfectly bingeable

WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE:
- the entire cast of side characters in Rome. I didn't understand their motivations for taking a teenage boy under their wing and I am still not exactly sure who is who, who is dating who, who dated who, or why I should care about them
- the jumping of scenes where an amount of time elapsed and "stuff happened" which we later hear about rather than experience first hand as the reader
- the build up to the plane incident did not take the direction I thought it would and was ultimately rather bland & tame & certainly didn't warrant being detained by US Customs for interrogation

From the first time I had read a sample of this book I was very excited to experience the whole story. The plot itself is very intriguing as we follow Amir’s journey through Rome. I admire Amir as a character because even though he was dealing with a very stressful and emotional situation, he still was kind and curious about the culture around him. I cannot speak to the accuracy of the muslim and LGTBQ representation, but as the book is own-voices I am confident in the content. What also stuck out to me was the genuineness of the friends that he meets on the way. I felt that all of the characters could be real people and I found that I was equally invested in their lives as I was with Amir’s. The book itself is written with a dual format. Those being Amir’s perspective of past events, as well as records of the interrogation room. I felt that the use of both these elements brought the story together in a unique and exciting way.

I loved all of the characters but one that stands out in particular is Amir’s little sister Soraya. She was a very funny and compassionate character and her relationship with Amir reminded me of my sister and I which made it even more relatable. While I was interested the whole time while reading, the plot was a bit predictable at times. I also did not enjoy a certain story in the book that was a bit gruesome for me. I definitely see this book as memorable and one reason is the travel aspect and sightseeing vibe! It made me miss travelling a whole lot more, and was a great escape from our current reality.

I would definitely recommend this for fans of Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda! I gave this book a 4/5 Stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.

So this is required reading, just so everyone is aware.

There are few things I love more than being immediately pulled into a story, one of those just happens to be having a gut feeling a book is five star worthy on the first page. There was never a moment in this book that I didn't love Amir. I also want to give this book credit for managing to make me appreciate it as much as I did when it has one of the tropes I hate the most; a queer character being blackmailed as part of a coming out narrative. That said I think that How It All Blew up handles that trope in the most interesting possible way. It also was refreshing in that this book really centered Amir and his family and not Amir and a love interest. It's not to say that there aren't romantic aspects to the book, but it is very clearly not the focus and seeing Amir come to terms with himself and come to terms with his family was all very much something that I think is needed, particularly in Young Adult fiction.

The cast of characters that Amir finds in Italy were among some of my favorite supporting casts I've read, and I will also say that messy heart did find a lot of joy in reading about those exploits.

I don't truly have any negatives to say about this book, other than I do wish that it was longer. Given the scope and the framing device I can see why that's not the case. I understand why the story is what it is and I think that as far as slice of life contemporaries sets a new gold standard. Truly can't recommend this book more highly; it will feed your soul.

What struck me from the very beginning about How It All Blew Up was how relatable Amir is. Don't we all know that feeling when our mistakes catch up to us? When little lies, small mistakes, end up snowballing and turning into an avalanche? How those things we say end up collecting dust, the feeling of dread and guilt collecting in our guts. Making it more difficult, with each passing moment, to tell the truth. Until it explodes forth in a rush of anger, guilt, betrayal, and resentment.

How It All Blew Up is one of those books which begins at the end, and works our way backwards. We witness the fall out. The aftermath. And reading becomes an experience detailing how it all blew it up. Like looking at a car crash in reverse. Seeing all those details we missed in the moments, the times we should have took an extra moment. Throughout the book, Ahmadi not only tells Amir's story from his perspective as it unfolds, and the airport interrogation room, but also through the voices of his parents and sister.

I won an advanced copy of How it All Blew Up through NetGalley, so I could share my review with you!

Disclaimer: I recommend reading additional OwnVoices reviews of this title, as they have more personal opinions on the representation shown in this story. As a (non-male identifying) queer book blogger, I am only able to reflect on specific elements of the story with personal nuance, so I will focus my review on how I related to that content.

Amir never thought coming out to his more traditional family would be easy, but even he didn’t expect to end up in an airport interrogation room because of it. After a classmate captures a photo of Amir kissing another boy, Amir is forced to contend with blackmail and the constant fear of being outed to his family. His classmate demands increasingly large amounts of money, with the ultimatum that, if he isn’t paid by graduation night, he’ll make sure everyone in Amir’s life knows he’s gay. But, when graduation finally comes around, Amir decides that maybe he just needs to escape. To run away to someplace where blackmail and family troubles would become distant memories. So, Amir throws some things into a bag and leaves for places unknown, with the hopes of maybe getting to really be himself. After a whirlwind month spent living in Italy, Amir lands himself in an interrogation room, telling the officers how, exactly, his whole world blew up in the span of a few weeks.

You can get your copy of How it All Blew Up on September 22nd from Viking Books for Young Readers!

This book was an extremely easy and enjoyable read, which took me less than a day to finish. The narrative flowed quickly, finding a balance between joy and struggle that I found to be very readable. How it All Blew Up is the sort of contemporary novel I like to read best during summertime, both because of its shorter length and because of its self-discovery narrative.

My Recommendation-
If you have been looking for a book that explores themes of the duality of identity, and personal discovery, you should pick up How it All Blew Up! This book would be a good fit for fans of Adam Silvera or Ben Philippe, because of its critically timed character development!

Unfortunately, this book was a DNF for me. I will possibly give it a try at a later date as I have enjoyed the authors previous books. Thank you for the opportunity to review.

Oh, to be an impulsive teenager literally running away from their problems in the most dramatic way possible.

How It All Blew Up reads like an alternate draft of the Lizzie McGuire movie script where every sketchy situation and odd decision has actual consequences instead of a fairytale Disney ending, and it’s hilarious and heartwarming and somehow makes you want to slam your head against the wall all at once. Plus, I’ll admit, I was one of those teens who romanticized every aspect of immersing myself in a different culture, so sympathizing with our protagonist was a piece of cake at first. However, our protagonist makes mistakes that are borderline aggravating.

Poor Amir is all panic and no disco, and really, who can blame him? His whirlwind of a story doesn’t take a moment to breathe, and unfortunately the writing style doesn't lend it self to the story well. The pacing of this book was definitely helped by the handy chapter titles placing the who, where, and when of all the events, but the screeching halts to the action still took a while to get used to. It’s short, quick, and to the point, not leaving the reader to dwell too long on any one event because we have to get on to the main event - the titular ish hitting the fan. This could have worked if it were a little more fleshed out, but unfortunately, it just didn't hit the mark.

Aside from Amir and his sister Soraya, the characters in this book had little to no character development. I found myself confused about who was who and why each person was significant, because the most we learn is a name and a fun fact about where they're from. The story just isn't long or detailed enough to allow readers to get to know the cast, and this is one of the books biggest downfalls.

This book is so intensely personal from the point of view of a queer POC, which is one of its redeeming qualities. Every beat of the story is carried by the weight of an experience that is so personal and unique, yet at the same time, deeply understood and felt by so many people in the world struggling to juggle their family, culture, and personal identity. Despite it's faults, the heart of the story and the message it sends out is important for readers to grasp.

I went into this book thinking it was a book representing queer Muslim’s in YA. I did not get that, at all during this short, but fast paced book. I think this book could have been incredible and unique considering it is written as a kind of count down to this huge scene in the book, and we have present tense moments where the main characters family is being detained at an airport. It just felt very underdeveloped, I didn’t care much for the main character and I don’t really get how this can be labeled as a Muslim book, when that was not at all a main point, or even a side point in this book.

Honestly, it felt very rushed. Amir, our main character, has not come out to anyone that he is gay and has a secret relationship with a boy at his high school. Some bullies at his school find out and blackmail him, he gets so scared he skips his graduation and flies to Rome. This part seems a little unbelievable. Amir flies to a whole different country, somehow gets an apartment, and gets in with a group that makes him feel welcome with his sexuality. I mean, maybe that could happen, but in my eyes that just doesn’t. Another part of this, is that like I said before it is so rushed. I feel like we got no insight into his relationship with his first boyfriend besides about two pages. In Rome, we see a lot of characters, but half of them we only see for a chapter, so I was confused why they were even included. I honestly didn’t even feel for Amir, like I don’t even know what I thought of him. Not to mention, my biggest disappointment was that ending. We know from the beginning that there is a fight on a plane between Amir and his family and now they are being interrogated. So, I am thinking it is going to be this huge blowout, and it just wasn’t. I honestly feel like nothing was resolved, like I just don’t get the point of this book. I just wanted more, more of everything.

I was so surprised when I went on Goodreads and saw so many negative reviews for this. I thought the story itself, as well as the way it was delivered were great and I flew through this. Seeing the perspectives of his parents and sister (loved Soraya) rounded out the story, and gave us perspective. Humans and their feelings are complex.

The way Amir magically found a thriving queer friend group immediately upon arrival in Italy was a tad far-fetched, but definitely not impossible, and a lot more believable than most YA books honestly. The characters he spent time with in Rome, with all of their flaws and messiness, were realistic and interesting to me.