"As I see my Grandchildren move through a world where the current president has given the green light to white supremacy following President Barack Obama's eight years of hope, where Black and Brown people are under violent attack, I have to ask: What is it that will set us free?" 

These are the final words of Tell Me Your Names and I Will Testify by Carolyn Holbrook which was published by University of Minnesota press on May 19th, 2020 and six days later, George Floyd was murdered by a police officer in Minneapolis. 
I don't have the words I need to describe this book, because anything I say about it will fall short. In this collection of essays, Carolyn Holbrook lays her soul bare as she openly discusses her life growing up as a Black girl in Minneapolis, having her first child at 17, escaping a brutally abusive marriage and ultimately building a career with prominent leadership positions within the the Twin Cities literary community, while raising 5 children on her own. 
Holbrook's writing is poignant and exquisite. The individual essays are written as chapters, weaving in and out of time. We see Holbrook in moments of triumph, accepting awards for her incredible work supporting and building up the arts in the Twin Cities through creative writing programs she created herself. But we also see moments of fear and anguish, from the 'small' acts of racism hidden behind "Minnesota nice" to a horrific scene where she awakens at 3:15AM to police pounding on her door, guns visible, looking for her 18-year old son. She tell the police her son is currently in jail, and yet they push her aside and brusquely search her apartment. She writes, "My four children, who were much younger than eighteen-year-old Stevie, were disoriented from having been wakened so harshly. They ran through the apartment like scared rabbits, screaming their little hearts out while they watched the gang of burly white men in blue uniforms rage through our home." Finally, Holbrook asked the police to listen while she called the Minneapolis jail, asking if they were currently holding her son. When they said they were, the police left her apartment. She never received an apology. 
I cannot read that story and not think of Breonna Taylor... not shake in fear thinking of those innocent children, vulnerable in their pyjamas. The image will live in my mind for a very long time. 

I received an electronic copy of this book from @netgalley after its online publication date through Univ of Minnesota. The paperback version will be available July 21st, 2020 and I will be preordering a copy, and you absolutely should too.

This tells essays of the story of the author, a Black woman who, as a single mother of five children, becomes a writer and pillar of the literary community in the Twin Cities. This was an interesting and engaging read, compassionate and, surprisingly, with quite some ghosts.

This book took me through Carolyn's life, one story at a time and in her writing I felt such a motherly tone reaching out to me and revealing moments of strength, weakness and uncertainty- and the feeling I came out with at the end of the book is a calm feeling. A gentle reminder that I can get up when I fall down and while at it, help others get back up.
She shares all this through writing, how powerful is that?
Thanks Netgalley and the publisher for the eARC. I hope that anyone who comes across this book is touched by her story, challenged to write their own and to uplift others as well- we certainly need it at such a time.

'Would things improve for women... My hope was that they would find the courage within themselves that we women have always had: the courage to know and believe that we exist, we are here, we are powerful, we are strong; the strength to stand up to a world that would continue to try to keep them in the kitchen.'

I was approved to read this book/collection of essays through Netgalley.
I enjoyed reading this story which felt like a memoir of sorts from Carolyn Holbrook.
The depiction of her life, with all its setbacks, limitations, and the regular racist microaggressions she has been subject to were both eye opening and in some ways unsurprising. Yet at the same time the book was very hopeful.
I did feel that the start of the book with the mention of the apparition felt a bit different to the rest of this book. I would have liked to have known more about that particular story personally and the lineage and history there.
I did also like the many references and quotes through the book from other writers. They feel particularly relevant at the moment.

'We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty' - Maya Angelou.

This book also spoke to me from a feminist perspective and the additional limitations enforced on women, particularly black women and women of colour.
'What is it that will set us free?'

I would recommend this book, but probably wouldn't re-read again.

I requested "Tell Me Your Names and I Will Testify" by Carolyn Holbrook on NetGalley because of the title. I have always been a sucker for an intriguing title. When the memoir opens, Carolyn is visited by Liza, an ancestor, who implores her "to tell our story." From there, we travel with the writer as she discusses her history, taking us from her time as a pregnant 16-year-old in the Minnesota juvenile justice system to her celebrated career as a writer, educator, and activist. We learn about her family and the relationships she's built with her five children, even tackling how hard it is to date when you have children, the importance of teachers and how they affected her, and her impact on the education and writing community in the Twin Cities. We learn how she juggles all of these things while tackling the subtle and overt racism surrounding her, including her family's own internalized racism as well as "Minnesota Nice." "Minnesota Nice" refers to Minnesotans’ brand of niceness, which is polite yet reserved, and substituting passive-aggressive comments for confrontation. We see the uncensored version of "Minnesota Nice" in the interaction between the writer and her voice instructor, who is helping her with an audition.

This memoir is short in comparison to the history the writer covers, clocking in at 200 pages. Given the title and opening, I thought we would be spending more time with ghosts but that felt limited. Don't get me wrong; we spent time with influential people in her life - Grandpa Barney, Miss Johnson, her 8th grade English teacher. She mentions another teacher, Natalie Goldberg, who had an affect on her. Natalie may not remember her anymore but the writer will remember her for the rest of her life. The mark of a good teacher goes a long way.

I truly loved getting to know the writer, especially as an educator. She sounds like an excellent teacher, concerned with understanding her students as individuals, changing her lesson plans to fit her style so they're authentic to her AND beneficial to her students. This includes sharing stories of her background in hopes of building a bridge to them.

In some ways, the memoir felt disjointed because it felt like we were traveling from one event to the other. There were so many important scenes where we could have lingered with the writer as she processed the event, or that I was dropped into something that could have been elaborated on but was wrapped up with a sentence or two.

Thank you to NetGalley and University of Minnesota Press for an advanced reading copy, scheduled for release on 07/21/2020.

Tell Me Your Names and I Will Testify by Carolyn Holbrook is a beautifully written book of essays that tells the story of her life. I expected the stories to reflect the title, which is what initially got my attention. The characters were easy to connect with and feel. I would absolutely recommend this book.

A compassionate story. Holbrook traces her path from her troubled childhood to her successful leadership positions. We witness her life through her eyes. While she tried raising her children as a single mom differently then she was raised, some things remained. “Why it is that each generation needs to learn its own lessons, no matter what parents try to pass on to them.” This books provides powerful lessons. “Kids know when they’re being treated differently from other children, and it takes a powerful toll on their motivation to learn. It is vitally important that teachers, no matter what their racial or ethnic background, be honest with themselves about how they feel about certain young people.” We are all teachers. We all need to self-reflect and lean in and acknowledge our biases-deal with them-learn from them and accept people for who they are. Systemic racism must end.

"The aunt who held strong religious beliefs sits on my left shoulder, shaking her finger and saying 'now don't you go stirring things up.' My other aunt sits on my right shoulder, a cigarette in one hand a glass of scotch in the other. She smiles encouragingly and says, 'don't hold back, child. Someone out there needs to hear what you have to say.'"

I grew up in a small, suburban, conservative, predominantly white town in Minnesota about an hour away from Minneapolis. My school's history classes were, to be frank, white washed. I grew up thinking Abe Lincoln was a saint, (if this statement confuses you I suggest reading Stamped by Ibram X. Kendi) Christopher Columbus was a hero, (if this statement confuses you you aren't paying attention) and only heard a watered down tale of slavery in America, cherry-picked to the point where at the end of the day, my teachers could say "America is the best, and Black people are finally free and equal." (And if THIS statement confuses you, please message me for a laundry list of other anti-racist books for you to read.)

I didn't have a Black teacher until my freshman year in college. He taught me some amazing and essential lessons, and I can't help but think how my life would be different if I had had a Black teacher earlier on. Maybe I would have heard the stories like the ones in Holbrook's books earlier. Maybe I would have been actively anti-racist earlier. All of this is to say that, even though I know Minneapolis, and I recognized the neighborhoods and street names she mentioned in her essays, as a white woman I had a vastly different experience when it came to this beautiful city, and America altogether, which is exactly why white people should read this book - we can't speak out against the daily micro and macroaggressions Black people face on a daily basis unless we do the necessary work on our end to notice them.

Holbrook's essays were eye-opening, heartwarming, AND heartbreaking, but so so beautiful: the way she wove her sentences together and described some of the simplest things was absolutely amazing. (Ex: "A large picture window invited the sun into the living room during the day and enticed the moon and stars to cast mysterious shadows at night," "They kiss the river and tip their hats, alerting night-floating barges of potential danger.")

This was a really beautiful read.

Thank you NetGalley and University of Minnesota Press for a copy of this eARC in exchange for an honest review 3.5/5

I found this an interesting read, had sympathy for the struggles and cheered when Carolyn was able to overcome them. The lengths that a parent will go through to care for her children and the choices they make is one to be applauded. Although there were some parts where I felt disconnected from the story I still enjoyed this book and the messages I got from it

Wow! Reading about Carolyn's experiences and how she responded to the many obstacles that she faced due to her race, gender, and class was truly educating. I enjoyed reading about her connections with her students and how she faced challenging students during her time. She emphasized the impact teachers have on their students lives that they are often unaware of!

It was well-written and very eye-opening. I'm curious where she came up with this title- as I felt like it didn't really focus on what the title is implying. Overall, I would definitely recommend this book and I would definitely read another book by Carolyn Holbrook!

*Thank you NetGalley and Carolyn Holbrook for an eARC in exchange for an honest review*

When reading the synopsis of the book, I was extremely excited to see what's in store. Unfortunately, the book didn't reach the expectations. It was hard for me to get into. I do like the main idea of this book, but it just wasn't for me. I wanted to like this book and push through it, but I just couldn't.

Thank you to the University of Minnesota Press and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book.

Sadly, this just wasn't for me and I stopped reading around 10%. As an essay collection I did not think it was really providing insight, information, or thought into any topic. This felt like short snippets of the authors life, and did not come together around theme. I found the writing to be full of cliches and often using too many simple words where better words could have been used instead.

As a former teacher, it was great to learn how the author is able to connect with students who have faced challenging situations. She also reiterated the impact that teachers have on their student's lives without realizing it. I did expect the overall story to be more reflective of the title, and for the book to weave through the beginning portion about the ghosts she sees. There were a few moments in book where I felt like I was reading through a list of bullet points about the author's life rather than reading through portions of the story that brought it from one part to the next. Overall, I recommend this book and would look for more work by this author in the future.