Thank you to the publisher for my copy - all opinions are my own.

This is such a fascinating combination of true crime and memoir and is an unbelievably powerful book. Vulnerable, intense, raw, and thoroughly heartbreaking, this is a story of survival and thriving against all odds.

At the tender age of fourteen, Harding was kidnapped, raped, and left to die on the side of a road. What follows is her account of trying to reconcile the after affects of this horrific incident, as well as trying to come to terms with her abusive mother and complacent father. This book is sad and depressing; fans of Educated and The Glass Castle would be able to appreciate the resilienceness that the authors must possess to make a meaninful life after such atrocities.

I struggled to keep my attention on this book. Not sure if was the writing, the non-linear timeline or a combination. I quit halfway through simply because I was not invested.

This book was a bit hit or miss for me. It is true that it is a telling of a kidnap and assault that happened to the author when she was 14. But it is also more, and sometimes that more seems to overshadow what made me pick this up in the first place. I understand that everything in our lives is connected, and such a horrible event would color many of our other experiences, but over all this seemed more a story of a relationship with a dysfunctional mother---both before and after the author was a victim of the crime. The last 25 percent or so focuses more on the long term impacts of the crime, and less on the long term impacts of a bad mom. Not a bad book at all, just had some problems reconciling it with my expectations.. Thank you NetGalley and publishers for providing a digital ARC for review.

Debora Harding's Dancing with the Octopus is a gripping, dynamic, and eloquent memoir. First, I don't know how someone survives all the physical and mental health abuse that Harding survives and not only live well adjusted, but also write about it in such an engaging way. Therapy obviously plays a big role in the processing, understanding, and boundaries set in place along the story's path.

The book is arranged with many time hops, each of which are stated at the beginning of the section to assist the reader. Chronicling her tumultuous upbringing with a depressed, and at times abusive, mother and a loving father who wasn't around much, she weaves throughout the book her adult life and starting a family of her own along with flashbacks of an abduction and assault that took place at the age of 14. All of these transitions and traumas come to a climactic end in which the author webs it all together and makes as much sense and peace of it all as one can.

This is for fans of memoirs, true crime, family dramas, mental health topics, and starting over. I think anyone who is self-aware or interested in better understanding of their own life processing could learn a lot from what Harding shares both in terms of trusting her own memory and what she gained through therapy, boundary setting, and the offender-victim dialogue program. It's just exceptionally well done and I appreciate the lengths to which the author went to heal herself and to craft this book.

Dancing with the Octopus
A Memoir of a Crime
by Debora Harding


Bloomsbury USA
Bloomsbury Publishing
Biographies & Memoirs | Nonfiction (Adult)
Pub Date 22 Sep 2020


I am reviewing a copy of Dancing with the Octopus/A Memoir of a Crime through Bloomsbury Publishing and Netgalley:





On a winter day, In Omaha Nebraska on November 1978 when Debora Harding, was just fourteen, she was abducted at knifepoint from a church parking lot. She was thrown into a van, abused, and held for ransom. And then left to die as an ice storm fell over the city.




Debora survived went on to identify her attacker to the police and then returned to her teenage life in a dysfunctional home, where she expected to simply move on. Denial became the families means of coping which was offered by her fun loving but conflicted father and her cruelly resentful mother.




It wasn’t until decades later decades later when beset by the symptoms of PTSD that Debora undertook a radical project: she met her childhood attacker face-to-face in prison and began to reconsider and reimagine his complex story. This was a quest for the truth that would threaten the lie at the heart of her family and with it the sacred bond that once saved her.





Deborah Harding untangles the incident of her kidnapping and escape from unexpected angles, offering a vivid, intimate portrait of one family's disintegration in the 1970s Midwest. By dexterously shifting between past and present.



I give Dancing with the Octopus five out of five stars!



Happy Reading!

If your mind and emotions can handle it, this is a fascinating memoir. In 1978, Debora Harding, 14, was kidnapped. She was left in freezing weather to die. After freeing herself, she returned home to a mother who didn’t believe her. And thus, begins the story of a dysfunctional mother. There are three strands to this story as Harding struggles with her own issues of being a parent and tells of the love of her father and his refusal to believe her painful memories. This book is as difficult to read as Westover’s Educated.

This was a compelling story of the childhood of Deborah Harding and her struggles with being kidnapped and raped at the young age of 14 and coping thru that with a sociopath for a mother. The book is broken into several pieces (chapters) that don't seem to have a cohesive timeline, but I almost felt like that is how someone might deal with the atrocities that the author had to deal with...in pieces, and randomly, whenever they surfaced to be dealt with. I think many readers will be able to empathize with her relationship with her mother and not having that support in place when she was dealing with PTSD from her abduction. It is well written and reads like a story, flows like a dateline episode. Definitely pick this one up!

When Deborah Harding was 14, she was abducted at knifepoint. But this book encompasses so much more than that tragic day of Debora’s life. Through this memoir she explores her childhood before the abduction, and then how the abduction created ripples that touched her whole life after. I am not a huge fan of a nonlinear timeline, so the beginning of this book while well written wasn’t my favorite, but the latter half of the book unfolds more as her story unfolded, and then I was sucked in wanting to know everything.This is a powerful story of survival and fortitude and of knowing when and how to ask for help.
.
.
.
.
.
TW: Rape, Kidnapping, Mental and physical abuse, suicide

Honest open raw Debora Harding’s abuse by her mother then the trauma of her kidnapping.She writes so openly of her attempts to recover these traumatic events.Heart-wrenching well written highly recommend.#netgalley#bloomsbury

Y’all...this memoir was FASCINATING! The authors story is gripping and emotional. This is her story of trauma from childhood and it’s impact on her life as an adult. Her tale is haunting and left me shaking my head that she not only survived, she’s thriving! As a teen girl, she was kidnapped and held for ransom. If that wasn’t enough, she suffered abuse at the hands of her mother both physically and emotionally. Her parents handling of her after her kidnapping was almost more traumatizing than the actual event. This is a powerful story of resilience, the affects of trauma, and the power of the human spirit. The author is so brave for sharing her story, and I’m better for reading it! I was captivated by her story and found this book to be incredibly well written. Highly recommend! My thanks to @bloomsburypublishing for the advance reader in exchange for my honest review.

In 2020, I've read and reviewed several books -- a few novels, and a few autobiographical treatments -- about girls (and they were all girls -- not yet women) who suffered sexual abuse and went through difficult mental and physical recoveries. This book stood out from the others through it's description of the abuser and his mental states throughout the time of the abuse as well as the many years of incarceration that followed. The writer's journey post-abuse is revealed in multiple chapters, which alternate with the chapters describing the events leading up to and directly after the abuse. She also reveals much about her home life, her parents and family, and her marriage. The startling and sad details of some those relationships are unemotionally related to the reader -- more facts than feelings -- and all the more depressing because it. This is the story of a woman who went through hell in many ways, and ultimately reached clarity about her past as she moved forward and into much better times. The book is very well written, and I came away with an incredible respect for the writer and her ability to survive and thrive.

Dancing With the Octopus describes Harding's tumultuous childhood and her kidnap and assault. The chapters fluctuate from the day of the attack to her early years and then more present day. Long before her horrific experience, Harding was subjected to emotional and physical abuse from her dysfunctional mother. Later, after much therapy and analyses she realizes her father played a large role in her issues with her mother. Is a sobering and sad read. Harding found stability with her husband and children and by realizing she didn't have to interact with the toxic people in her life.

I've never read anything quite like this. It was such a fascinating survivor's story especially because Debora Harding didn't receive the proper care post-trauma and only dealt with it later on. The family dynamic she was in was insane, even going to Thanksgiving the next day as was normally planned. Definitely recommend reading.

Debora Harding has endured plenty in her life to deserve to play a victim in this memoir. Instead, Harding's narrative comes across in a straight forward way, with a few surprising moments of lightness and humor. Told almost journalistically, Harding dives head first into her relationship with her abusive mother and the complicated relationship she shares with her loving father, and how these relationships affected her entire life, including the aftermath of being victim to a horrible crime.

Told in a winding narrative that takes us from present day motherhood to her own childhood traumas, all while following the case against her attacker. Harding shows all the hardships she has endured with strength and heart.

Finale rating: Solid 4.429/5


***Thank you so much to Netgalley and Bloomsbury USA publishing for the opportunity to read this title in advance in exchange my honest review.***

What can I say about this memoir? The author shares her experiences after being kidnapped at the age of 14, which only amounts to half of the issues she faces throughout her childhood. Be prepared to jump back and forth as the details are shared amidst her adult life. Going back and forth adds to the story’s intrigue and keeps everything moving pretty smoothly, actually, and makes the story come together perfectly in the end.

Although this memoir was about traumatic experiences, I appreciated that the majority of the book was spent on the aftermath of trauma and the family legacy thereafter.

It was difficult to read Debora Harding's account of childhood abuse at the hands of her mother. It was also emotional to read of her kidnapping and rape during her teens. The author's honesty in sharing the emotional and psychological aftermath of these events was very moving. It is very admirable how she has been able to deal with her past traumas.

I loved this book from the start. The author and experiences shared were real and told in such a way that was really believable and engaging. It is amazing to me how a single event, and even a series of unfortunate events can affect people for years. I thought the ending was great in that it dealt with issues building though out the chapters. I found the going back and forth from past to present a little difficult. Two enthusiastic thumbs up. A must read.

A haunting and poignant memoir of resiliency and the fight to survive--not just the incident, but the aftermath. Harding's clear, direct voice recounts her battle for mental health as she examines and reconciles her relationships with all the perpetrators in her life--not just one man. A masterfully crafted book on the far-reaching effects of violence, and the ability to survive.