Member Reviews
This book gave me all the feels. I identified with it so well, as a child free woman, but one who works with kids all day. I have heard all the hurtful things said in the book. I’m so glad this book was written, and it came across, not as an attack to women and couples with children, but as an eye-opener. Not all people can have kids, not all people want kids and not all people are stable enough to have kids. Maybe “do you have kids” shouldn’t be a go to question to get to know people anymore. The formatting in the ebook translation needs some work, but otherwise, this was great.
I am child free by choice, and so was drawn to this book just by the title. There are not a lot of books out there about this subject and it was refreshing to see the subject tackled in this book. It gave me a lot to think about that I hadn't considered, and I know I will be recommending this to people in a similar situation to mine.
"Do You Have Kids?" is an honest, important and insightful exploration of a topic that is still considered taboo in today's society.
I enjoyed Kaufmann's style of writing and the book was well-researched with relevant data, research findings and interviews with a wide range of people who do not have children due to tragedy, disappointment, choice or circumstance.
The authors personal anecdotes were informative and added to the findings presented however, as they were interspersed throughout the book, it meant the structure was rather disjointed causing the book to be repetitive and confusing at times.
Thanks to Netgalley and Lume Books for the free copy in exchange for my honest review.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
As a childfree dog mom, I'm always interested in reading about adults who don't have children. This book touches on a lot of various aspects of how our lives are "different" than people who have kids. Also the definition of family is discussed and how society views people who don't have kids. Overall, this is a good book and it could help people who don't understand those of us who don't want/have kids.
I don't have kids so this book interested me from the title alone. I found it very interesting and learned some things that affect me that I haven't yet thought of. Like I have a higher chance of having cancer and I really need to have a plan for who will help me when I'm an Elder Orphan. If you don't have children by choice or by chance this book will be helpful and interesting. Thank you to Netgalley, the author and publisher for my free copy in exchange for my honest review.
This was a very emotional read for me because I fit into this category, however nothing is discussed about someone with my point of life with no kids. I am unmarried, single and almost 37. But I moved around, gone back to school numerous things in search of a career where I can be successful and make money. I have found a career I love but it doesn't earn enough money. I had an off and on boyfriend up until the time I moved from CT to CA at age 34 years old. It took awhile to find the right place to work once I moved and have been in 3 different locations since March 2020. I am not financially stable so I wouldn't bring a baby into this world if I cant support it. I thought my life would be different. At this point I thought I would be married to my high school sweetheart and we had would have twins (they run on my mom's side of the finally and she never had twins) and I would be a teacher or a writer. That didn't happen and I dumped him when he cheated on me in college. Oh well. I still wanted kids up until I was 32 or so, but I have had fur babies in stead and have been satisfied.
About the book, I could empathize with every woman and the author when they shared their un-baby story. I was emotional after each, that's one of the reasons it took me awhile to read this. The author put a lot of herself into this book and did a lot of research to make females with children be more sensitive to women with no children; especially their own mothers, cousins, sisters and sister in laws. This book gives everyone a lot to think about and it should be read by everyone with and without a family of their once they break away from mom and dad.
Thanks to the author for sharing her story as well as her publisher through Netgalley allowing me access to an ARC in exchange for any honest review.
Avaible: 4/20/20
Do You Have Kids? Life when the Answer is No is such an important book. This subject is not written about a lot, and yet more and more people are either choosing not to have kids, or cannot have kids.
While I felt the book did a great job of being inclusive by including a wide range of women and men who have chosen not to have kids for various reasons, or who are unable to have kids, at times I felt the book was trying to do too much. By not leaving anyone out, we got half the story from those struggling with fertility and adoption, and half the story from those who feel compelled not to have children. It felt disjointed at times.
I was hoping for more of a happy feeling while reading this, like wow, look people can lead amazing and fulfilling lives without children. And yes, there was some of that, but more time was spent discussing the health risks of not having kids, moving into old age without being a grandparent or having any children to look after you. It was depressing at times.
I love the idea of this book and the end where it went through how to handle conversations with people who ask "do you have kids?" was very helpful.
I was excited to read this book after reading the blurb and found that it had a lot of great points to make. The interviews and opinions within the book were interesting and well thought out.
However, I found the overall ordering of the book a little disorganised, and it jumped about a bit in terms of 'narrative' when trying to read through.
Overall I thought the content and subject matter were well explored and well written, but the actual editing of the book lacked finesse, leading to a slightly disorganised compendium, rather than a coherent whole.
Worth a read for the subject matter for sure, but just be mindful of its slightly muddled ordering.
Thanks to Netgalley, for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
As a Non-Mom myself, I really appreciated Kate Kaufman’s perspective regarding motherhood. I thought it was fascinating to read other Non-Mom’s experiences and it was reassuring that I am not alone in my decision and circumstance. This is also a great read for those Moms who have a lot of Non-Mom friends and know the right and wrong things to say. Highly recommend!
It’s great that a book has been published about what is not classed as the ‘norm’ in society. This was slightly off with the formatting, but I managed to get through it. It’s a refreshing read and makes you feel like you’re not alone.
Thank you NetGalley for my complimentary copy in return for my honest review.
This book explores the lack of support and resources exist for women who choose not to have children. I was so glad to see a book devoted to this topic since there's such a lack of coverage on the subject of childlessness, that there's really a need for any and all literature devoted to it.
I really enjoyed her combination of personal stories and statistics and facts about everything from healthcare to aging, and housing, but felt that the book was a bit all over the place and could have benefited from some additional organization. There wasn't a clear structure from beginning to end that made it difficult at times to follow.
I've been trying to write a comprehensive review for this book for months. And I just can't seem to really get my feelings and emotions on the page. On one hand I'm sooo thankful to Kate Kaufmann for writing this book and doing as much research as she did. Interviewing women, getting statistics, compiling thoughts, etc. On the other side I'm disappointed that so many women have experienced what I have over the years; judgement and rudeness over their choice (or inability) to have children. So instead here is a review that is more high level.
The first half of Do You Have Kids? is a wonderful read about all these women from different walks of life. I found many were saying things I've said or had sentiments I've thought. It was nice to connect with them.
The second half was a bit disappointing. It focused almost exclusively on end of life care and estate wealth. I understand that I am 100% responsible for my own end of life care; but to me that's not because I don't have children, but because everyone should be responsible for their own end of life care. I'm disappointed to learn that the norm is still to burden children with their elderly parents. I don't like this mentality as it puts too much pressure on the children and not enough on the adult who should have been anticipating their own needs as they age.
I did however determine that a large amount of my estate (if anything is left but books, lol) will be donated to my local library. I was struck by the thought during reading this last half of the book that most children today are benefiting from public and/or charitable donations made by those without children. Ironic in a way; but also proof that childless people still contribute a lot to society and the future of the human race.
I would recommend this to anyone that is childless by choice or not. I'd also recommend buying this for a struggling family member or friend that doesn't get why someone would select not to have children. It will (hopefully) help them understand that it's not about being selfish. It's about being realistic, pursuing personal happiness and not allowing being female to dictate how we must live our lives. Overall this is an excellent read; but it was emotionally draining for me on many levels.
<i>Please note: I received an eARC of this book from the publisher via NetGalley. This is an honest and unbiased review. </i>