My Trans Parent" by Heather Bryant is a heartfelt memoir that navigates the complexities of family, identity, and acceptance. Bryant shares a deeply personal journey of coming to terms with her parent's gender transition, offering readers an intimate and honest portrayal of the challenges and triumphs that accompany such profound transformations. Through vulnerability and compassion, the book explores themes of love, understanding, and the transformative power of acceptance within the context of transgender experiences. "My Trans Parent" is a poignant narrative that resonates with universal themes of resilience and familial bonds.

I was really excited for this book, but after reading this review, it decided it's probably not for me:

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3352513074?book_show_action=false&from_review_page=1

This is definitely a needed book and one that will no doubt be followed by many more in this category. The author's father transitioned when she was young and before there were many public trans people, much less trans parents. She interviewed many grown children of trans parents, presenting lots of different types of stories of how transitions can impact families. Where it shines less is in her description of trans people and trans life. Another reviewer said that it would have been better written by a parent-child team and I agree. While I have friends and family members who are trans, it's outside of my firsthand experience and I can't speak to how respectful or accurate it will feel to the trans community. I do believe it will be very helpful for their kids, though.

The book seems best suited for teens or older. It is written in a conversational tone and covers a lot of questions, issues and interviews.

I read a temporary digital ARC of this book for review.

While this is an extremely important topic, this account would have benefited from a tremendous amount of editing. The text is rambling and repetitive, and occasionally unclear. I have several friends who are trans and consider myself a strong trans ally, so this is a subject of great interest to me and about which I'm fairly knowledgeable. There is a real need for more books about all aspects of the trans experience; hopefully, better ones giving the perspective of children of trans parents will be written.

Excellent informative, descriptive book giving a friendly voice to young people experiencing this aspect of their lives.
Giving families understanding, knowledge and live on the subject.
Excellent read.

There are some events in life that you cannot understand unless you are going through them. Having a transfer parent and experiencing all that comes with that is one of those things. Luckily we have Heather Bryant here to provide a guide, support and resources for those experiencing similar.

I personally have not been in that situation (however I have a number of transgender friends- but as the book suggests that is a COMPLETELY different story) it was enlightening to read about somebody else’s experience. I happened across this book as I thought it was fiction (my bad!) but the true purpose of the book was extremely educational and inspiring. The amount of research that went into this is evident and outstanding. I highly recommend this to any parents transitioning, children of trans parents or those like myself who are eager to learn more and educate themselves.

It's a different text then we're used to read about transgenderism and since it's also semi-biographical it tells her story as well.
It's a good introduction to coping with the big changes transgenderism brings - because people might want to be totally open and accept everything, but some changes take time to cope with.

Judging from the title, "My Trans Parent" sounded like a book I would definitely enjoy. As a queer and non-cis person, I surely have a connection to the broad topic of the book. First of all, I think it is amazing that a guide for children of trans people has been published and I'm hopeful that more of these kind of books will follow soon. It's a very important topic and even if you're not directly concerned with it yourself, it's still worth to look into.

The one thing that I remember seeing as a very positive point is that Bryant underlines the fact that you don't have to do any kind of surgery to be "fully" trans. There is no right or wrong way, no finite "goal" that a trans person has to achieve. She also mentions gender queer and non-binary people being part of the trans community, which is essential to an attentive approach.

Nevertheless, the book disappointed me in a lot of aspects:

My first problem was that I didn't understand what the target group of this book was supposed to be. From the title, I thought it was directed at children, but the writing style was too elaborate for that. I don't think a young child would be able to make it through these more than 300 pages.

In the introduction, the author shortly mentions that the reader might not expect pronouns like "she/her" being used for a word like "dad". While she says that each family she interviewed chose a name and pronouns that fit, I think this is still a concept that should have been explained more, before going so deeply into other topics. Fortunately, Bryant does talk about this once more in a later chapter, but I do believe it would have made more sense to explain it in an understandable way before moving on to other topics, in which those names and pronouns are of importance.

Moreover, the author inserts a lot of repetitions of the same (personal) stories. I didn't get the reason for that, it had only been a few minutes since I had read the same information in a different chapter, at some point I felt like the author didn't trust me to take in all of her information.

The author, who tells the reader that she identifies as cisgender and straight, seems to be trying really hard to be politically correct, but sometimes some kind of homophobia/transphobia shines through and while she acknowledges that partly in her personal stories, some passages still made me feel very uncomfortable. If I imagine a kid reading this book, reading some common misconceptions about lesbians for example, it doesn't sound good to me. Sure, the author's former homophobia is part of her journey to a more tolerant person, nevertheless, some wordings felt disrespectful to me.

Bryant also makes use of trans peoples' deadnames. In general, using the deadname of a trans person is the most disrespectful thing one could do. I imagine, or rather hope, that the author talked to the people she's mentioning with their deadnames and they gave her their okay to do so. Nonetheless, the usage of the deadname of her father (she still calls her trans parent this and uses she/her pronouns for her) is so frequent that it really started to bother me. The deadname is not her name, the usage of deadnames is so hurtful, I don't understand for what reason she continued to use it again and again. One could have easily followed her story, if she hadn't mentioned it once. In addition to that, without really talking about the harm that using a deadname can do and using her father's so often, it might present the picture that it is commonly accepted to do so to the reader.

Furthermore, the author describes being trans and going through a transition (in this case she meant surgery) as if someone becomes an entirely different person or also as if that person died. While some trans people do change the way they act and behave once they have come out (to some point), I believe it is totally inconsiderate to compare a transition to a funeral. It is disrespectful to people, who have actually lost someone and also to trans people, because it creates the image that with a different gender, a differnt person arises. It is in no way okay to generalize trans people in this way. Some trans people might not be offended by the funeral metaphor, but I definitely am.

The author once says "I didn't want to kiss girls or be a boy" and that sentence unfortunately is inherently transphobic. A trans person does not "want" to be a different gender, they ARE. This formulation makes it seem like being trans is a choice, which it is not. A person who writes a guide about trans people should know that.

All in all, I would not recommend this book. The intention was well, but it didn't fulfill its promise. Hit me up once a trans parent and their kid write a guide like this together. The missing perspective of the trans parent might have been a huge reason, why some passages turned out to be read as disrespectful.

My Trans Parent is part autobiography about the authors own experience with having a transgender parent who came out later in life with also featuring other peoples experiences of having a transparent. We hear from young children and adults. This guide is for anyone whose parent is transgender/ non-binary, although it could be useful for anyone who is transgender, whether a parent or not.

his book talks about the transition from the moment they were told their parent was transgender, through all the talks and struggles. It's a very real account of something that affects the whole family, close and extended. It discusses the steps taken to transition, from hormones, surgery and social transitioning. It talks about changing pronouns and names, as well as discussing what to call your parent, do you stick with the conventional mum, dad, etc, or do you create your own name for them?

We hear about transgender people, but we don't often hear about how it affects their family. As the author said, they feel bad talking about the bad side as if it's transphobic to say that it's difficult. But no family is without their difficulties. It's just bringing something that is often hidden behind a door into the light. Of course there will be struggles, it isn't an easy process. But it was very well written and explained. I loved the raw emotions behind it, and I really respect the author for not hiding it.

It not only talks about gender identity and dysphoria, but also about sexual orientation, with discussions about labels changing, from a straight cisgender man, to a lesbian transgender woman. It also doesn't focus on the transgender person's sexuality labels, but also their partner's, which isn't often discussed.

At the end of the book, it has a list of transgender people in the media, some of which I had heard of, and other's that I hadn't. After that, it has a list of books that focus on transgender topics, whether kids books that help to explain it to those younger, or non-fiction books for teens and adults.

As a transgender person myself, I've often wondered what it would be like if I ever had children, I know that if I do, I wish to adopt. But I loved the fact the author talks about trans men that choose to carry their child. I feel like that is something that isn't discussed very often, like it should be hidden, forbidden. But it's books like this that can really help to bring the idea out from the shadow.

An honest book that discusses something that people would often hide in the shadows. A real-life account of how it is to have a transgender parent. This book is well thought out, well written and much needed.

Brave, honest and moving. A book for all kids, and their parents who are transitioning. Not much else to add, really.

My Trans Parents is a half autobiographical account of the author's own experience having a transgender parent while featuring other people's stories and also serves as a guide for people who have transgender parents although this guide could also apply to transgender people in general. This book does a thorough job explaining the transition and assists in easing the change in family dynamics, and new pronouns/names while also addressing questions about gender orientation and dysphoria. Highly informative with loads of helpful tidbits while also providing some food for thought.

*Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for providing a free ARC