This is a tender, sad memoir about Berg's aging parents--watching the strong, vigorous, intelligent people who raised her reach the point in life where they can no longer take care of themselves and the struggle that ensues to help them make wise decisions. There is also the realization that she herself is only a few short years away from having to make those same decisions for herself. A touching and moving account.

I received an arc from the author and publisher via Net Galley in 2020, my very bad year of reading during the pandemic. My review is voluntary and the opinions expressed are my own. I apologize for the delay in reading and reviewing this touching memoir.

I’ll Be Seeing You

by Elizabeth Berg

Aging. A theme as old as the passing of time. Elizabeth Berg addresses it in her memoir I’ll Be Seeing You. She describes the challenges of growing old while trying to help her aging parents as they grow even older. It’s tough. We all know that. And it’s different for everyone. Rather than unhelpful generalizations, Berg shares her very personal story—mostly stressful, often frustrating, and sometimes funny.

Berg’s parents, in their late 80’s, are faced with the need to downsize and move to accommodations that are safer and provide opportunities for a continued happy life, but with more constraints. Her father has Alzheimer’s, and her mother is angry and feels suffocated. Berg and her siblings try to help, to make the transition as easy as possible. In the almost year-long transition process she “learned a lot about them, and just as much about myself.”

Berg is an excellent writer. She explores her own aging, her relationship with her parents, and the couple’s love for each other with sensitivity and honesty. Berg turns a tale of aging, decline, and loss into a page turner that explores confronting the inevitable hurdles in life rather than being victimized by them. Although the most visible theme is aging, love permeates the tale with the kind of affection and devotion that lasts a lifetime.

I would like to extend my thanks to NetGalley and to Random House for giving me the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

Rating: 5/5

Category: Memoir

Publication: October 27, 2020—Random House

Memorable Lines:

A kind of wild optimism that was in all of us that has eroded as it must with the tired realities of life, with the anvil of aging that has fallen on our parents and will fall on us, too, should we live that long.

I am, as is easy to see, full of hope. But I have to remember something I always forget: you can’t tell anyone else how to experience something. People live behind their own eyes. I’m not the one with the broken arm.

Yes, life is a minefield at any age. Sometimes we feel pretty certain that we know what’s coming. But really, we never do. We just walk on. We have to. If we’re smart, we count our blessings between the darker surprises. And hope for a fair balance.

If you have had aging parents in your life, this book will hit close to home. Elizabeth Berg's memoir is about her personal experience of watching her dad deal with early Alzheimer's Disease and the anger her mother feels about having to change her lifestyle to meet her father's needs.

I admit, this book made me incredibly sad, but only because it hit so close to home as the adult child. I relived many moments of my own life through Berg's story. It is beautifully written from the viewpoint of a daughter who struggles to watch her parents experience the transformation of the latter years of their lives. It is extremely honest, and you feel as if you are living this with her.

I would give this book 5 out of 5 stars, but it hurt too much to read. For others, though, you will find it beautiful and heartwarming. I would recommend this book to my friends.

I was given this book for my honest review.

This memoir is wonderful! The first few paragraphs had me hooked! I actually read them aloud to my husband. “But I still feel like a girl inside!”. The author writes a very touching story about her aging parents as she and sister become in charge of their well being! It is not an easy transition for her parents as they sell their home and move to an assisted living place. It is hard fir the author to stay calm and patient during her parents transition! Honest reactions to something that is a huge possibility in our own lives.

This is a super fun read. I really enjoyed this one!

Many thanks to the author, the publisher, and Netgalley for my ARC. All opinions are my own.

If you love Elizabeth Berg, which I do, you'll really enjoy this book. She writes so honestly and bravely about her aging parents and their move from their family home to an assisted living facility. Elizabeth and her siblings contend with her Dad's downward decline, her Mom's inability to come to terms with her husband's issues, and her moving as well, with him when she doesn't want to. This is a trial as well for the children, who try to help their parents while ignoring their own feelings. Going through articles in the house, packing, the actual move, and selling. Tears, grief, utter exhaustion. This book is so moving, told with tenderness and respect.
Thank you to Random House for the advanced copy of this book for an honest review.

Author Elizabeth Berg delved into her personal life by writing about her parents and their struggles when her father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. Forced to leave their home and move into a facility that could address their changing needs, Berg's parents had very different reactions to their new surroundings.

As an adult trying to help her parents, Berg explored the complications of being the child while trying to assert authority. I can only imagine how difficult it was to both chronicle their collective experiences and to write this book. The memories must have been painful and bittersweet for the author to have recollected, but her experiences could help others in similar situations. I watched my grandfather as he struggled to help my grandmother, long after she should have been handed over to more specialized care. Although it was many years ago, I'll Be Seeing You brought up feelings and memories of that time.

Though this book is not designed to be a guide to navigating the unfamiliar waters of helping parents with their changing needs, readers can gain some good, first hand knowledge from the author's experiences.

Disclaimer: I was given an Advanced Reader's Copy of I'll Be Seeing You: A Memoir by NetGalley and the publisher, Random House. The choice to review this book was entirely my own.

Growing old is hard. It can be made worse when one of the loving spouses is dealing with dementia. Beth, her sister and brother are siblings trying to help their parents transition to a safer and easier environment. It is made harder when one or both of the parents wants to move and the other one doesn’t. They are leaving their beloved home and neighborhood.
Confusion and anger are making dealing with their parents difficult.
This a real and heartbreaking account of what a lot of people are facing everyday. Elizabeth Berg treats this situation with love and compassion. A must read for anyone I with older parents.

I loved this memoir and could relate to it as my dad also has Alzheimer’s. I think this is a must read for anyone with aging parents. Beautifully done.

A beautiful book Elizabeth Berg has written ban ode to her parents.She shares the issues of aging of life changing she shares her feelings and emotions.A wonderful moving book, #netgalley#randomhouse

This author always seems to write from her heart. This book is also from the heart but far more personal. Ms. Berg shares with all the joys and heartbreak of when the tables of life switch. This beautiful novel shares how things change when the roles reverse and the child becomes the caretaker.
A beautiful novel written as only Elizabeth can.

This is a lovely tribute to Ms Berg's parents. The description of her parents 70 years of marriage is beautiful. The journey with an alzheimer family member is often bittersweet and sad to watch. This book is a guidebook to others that are traveling this journey or could be one day. It is difficult to one day have to parent the parents but her description of this time in her life and that of her parents is beautifully written. It is written with the love of a child for her parents and their love for each other.

Beautiful testament to her parents. Easy reading filled with love. Thank you to the publisher and netgalley!

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an eARC of this title.
A sweet, short read about the family dynamics of aging, the impact of Alzheimer's, and how love persists for 70 years

3.5 stars

This is not your typical Elizabeth Berg book. This one is personal. Her parents are aging and there are decisions and adjustments to make to make life more comfortable for all of them. It becomes a time to reflect over her parents relationship, and her relationship with them as parents.

I don't usually read memoirs but my dad had Alzheimers and was in Assisted Living and Memory Care before he passed so I knew this would be emotional for me (and I love Elizabeth Berg's books)! And it certainly was. When she realizes her parents need more help than she can give them, she knows it's the right decision to put them in a facility. It really is the hardest thing an adult can do, to recognize that you have become the caregiver to your parents who raised and cared for you. The hardest part is, of course, watching the decline because you instinctively know there is no getting "better." Berg writes with poignant details and lovely, albeit heartbreaking scenes, about how it feels to watch your parents grow old.

This lovely book really tugged at my heart. I adore Elizabeth Berg's writing and reading this was like sitting next to her with tea and cookies. Thank you NetGalley for allowing me to read it. I've already shared my opinion on social media.

RATING: 4 STARS
2020; Random House

I will read anything by Elizabeth Berg, and have loved her since I read Durable Goods. Katie is one of my favourite characters in literature. Berg is a wonderful writer that has such endearing and realistic characters and stories. No matter the age of the characters or gender, you can really feel their emotions and are invested from the first page. I'll Be Seeing You, is Berg's memoir on her parents aging. Berg is in her 70s at this point, and her parents in their 90s. Her father is suffering memory loss and relying too heavily on his wife. Berg's mother is finding it hard to be his caretaker, and cannot get a moment to herself. She is stressed, and that also effects her father's moods. They still live in the home they bought as their forever home, and the thought of leaving it for am assisted care facility adds more pressure to the couple. Berg's sister lives closer to their parents, but has a job and her own family. Berg's brother is far away, and Berg, herself tries to come out there as much as she can.

I feel for Berg, and her siblings, and her parents, but even more so as my own parents are requiring more help. In the last year and so, I have been attending more medical appointment with my parents, and I've started to think about the "what happens when...". I am an only child so many of the decisions will fall on me. I am close to my parents and know what they would want, yet the thought of them getting older is scary. When my late grandmother had dementia it was more difficult trying to get through it emotionally than anything physical. Berg weaves stories from the past, growing up and what her parents were like.

As I listened to the author tell her story, I shared some of it with my parents. It brought up good conversations. I would recommend I'll Be Seeing You to everyone. At some point, most of us will be going through this as children or aging parents, and aging parents ourself (or however your family works). It makes you feel less alone, and makes the situation (at least for me) seem more doable. You can only take one chunk at a time. It is a book I will revisit a few more times in my life. As the book ended, I knew this was going to save my sanity in the future, and have notes in it to remind myself of certain passages.

***I received a complimentary copy of this ebook from the publisher through NetGalley. Opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own.***

Elizabeth Berg’s father was an Army veteran who was a tough man in every way but one: He showed a great deal of love and tenderness to his wife. Berg describes her parents’ marriage as a romance that lasted for nearly seventy years; she grew up watching her father kiss her mother upon leaving home, and kiss her again the instant he came back. His idea of when he should spend time away from her was never.

But then Berg’s father developed Alzheimer’s disease, and her parents were forced to leave the home they loved and move into a facility that could offer them help. As the time came for many decisions to be made, Berg and her sister stepped in to help. The parents were close to 90 years old, had lived in their present home for 45 years. How does one give up the life he or she has created and start over in some other place? Her father believed himself to be the same capable, tough guy he had always been. Her mother realized changes had to be made.

The parents needed access to transportation and socialization with others their own ages. Berg documents the struggle of making those final decisions, cleaning out a lifetime of possessions, selling the house, and all the other details. And through it all, her parents continued to live their wedding vows, "For better or worse, in sickness and health."

Endurance, trusting even when the going gets hard, and still being able to forgive and keep on loving. The parents had to make many changes, as well as the daughters. This seemed to come as a surprise to Berg, and one she had to get her head around. This is a lovely memoir of family and love.

I've read a number of Elizabeth Berg's novels over the years. They are always a bit of a comfort read. I'll Be Seeing You is her new memoir about her experiences with her aging parents who experience declining health in their 80s. Berg's father develops Alzheimer's disease and the family needs to make the decision of what their lives will be like now. How can the couple live where they can be independent yet he can still get the care he needs? Berg reflects on how her parents had a strong marriage of over 60 years and how her father who was an Army veteran was very fond of his wife. There is love and sadness. Berg shares her frustration with her mother over what she perceives as her mother not being nice to her dad in his current state. This was a tough read, especially as myself and many of my friends now have parents who are senior citizens. But, throughout the book, we see the love that this family has for each other. Even through the turmoil of dealing with dementia and memory loss the family stays close. This book is a beautiful tribute by Berg to her parents.

What to listen to while reading...
Kathy's Song by Simon & Garfunkel
Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright
Mercy by Duffy
On and On and On by Wilco
Landslide by Fleetwood Mac
Morning Has Broken by Cat Stevens