This was a very touching memoir of the author’s parents and their declining years. I am so glad she shared this story with readers. It is important to see how she and her sister handled their parents and their situation when they got to the point where they could no longer live in their home. You learned some background of her early years as the daughter of a father who was career military. The relationship her parents have is front and center and a huge part of the issues they were experiencing.

The author and her sister lose their patience but are determined to help their parents as much as possible. It was emotional to travel with the author as she and her sister navigated the ability to find appropriate care for her parents…especially her father and his mental dementia.

Thank you to NetGalley and Random House for my advanced review copy. All opinions and thoughts are my own.

Elizabeth Berg is a familiar name to me, but this memoir was my first title of hers. She gently and earnestly discusses, in a journal format, the process of transitioning her parents to an assisted living home. The raw feelings of facing your final days and saying goodbye to independence and a beloved home are complicated; Berg's frank transparency, even when her frustrations with her parents are revealed, made these words and experiences resonate.

I would group it into a trio of books I've read recently that all reflect on aging. There is Atul Gawande's Being Mortal, a pivotal piece on end-of-life issues, Ada Calhoun's Why We Can't Sleep, a look to the midlife crisis from the lens of women who are sandwiched between both caring for parents and children at the same time, and Elizabeth Berg's I'll Be Seeing You, a thoughtful reflection of the complexity of grief through transitions. They nest together in a well-rounded group, each offering insight into common difficulties families face.

Berg writes, "There is a quote I read today, something author Louis Adamic's grandfather said: life is like licking honey off a thorn. Well, yes. And what a thorn. But, oh, what honey." Berg's memoir was delayed until after her parents died, and I imagine that removed some of the doubt as to whether or not she should reveal so much detail as to their arguments and the imperfections they all held. We are left with a piece that feels messy but beautiful, the honey gleaned through hardship and pain.

(I received a digital ARC from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.)

If you are looking for a book to give you happy feelings, this one isn’t it. But it did leave me reflecting on my life, the legacy I will leave and what will happen to me as I get older. This is a memoir of Elizabeth Berg and her parents as they get too old to stay in a home by themselves and have to move to an adult living apartment that will give them activities to do and friends to make. Since Berg’s father was suffering from Alzheimer’s, he was barely aware of his environment, so the interactions with him were bittersweet and sad. Berg’s mom, on the other hand, was angry about having to move because she was still mobile and able to take care of herself, but she has to leave their home in order to help take care of her husband. Berg explicitly describes how the changes in her parents’ lives affect everyone in the family. I can’t say that this was a book that I enjoyed reading since I am getting older myself. But it is one that the children of elderly parents should read in order to get ideas for how to deal with the attitudes, the angst and the changes that are coming.
Disclaimer
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher via Netgalley. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255, “Guides Concerning the Use of Testimonials and Endorsements in Advertising.”

I almost didn't finish this book. I'm really glad I did. This is definitely Elizbeth Berg's most personal book -- the story of her aging parents, her siblings, and her own difficulties dealing with aging. Much of the content was just too close to home for me -- in my 60s with parents who have both passed away after long illnesses. Although this sometimes feels like intruding or eavesdropping on personal conversations, to watch Berg and her family deal with the realities of aging was deeply affecting and moved me to tears frequently.

This is not a fictional story with a beginning/middle/end plot, but rather a journal of the ups and downs of helping parents cope with diminishing abilities and adjusting to a new life in "assisted living". There are often moments of "birdwalking" where Berg relates anecdotes from the past, but most of the story takes place as the events are occurring -- the good, bad, happy, heartbreaking, the arguments & reconciliations.. This is really her journal of those two years.

Sometimes difficult to read due to the depth of emotion, but a wonderfully touching look at a loving family trying to deal with the changes in life. Not an advice book, but certainly insightful and inspiring.

I may be biased because I am a big Elizabeth Berg fan, but this is a beautiful book. The writing is all typical Berg prose - lovely and poetic and engaging. Being a fan, having read every one of her books, getting this glimpse in to some of her early life was a treat, but really this is a love story to her parents. Their love story, and how Elizabeth and her siblings fit in that love story and how they all evolved and adapted and endured during everything life throws at you. And then one of the worst trials you can face, your parent diagnoses with Alzheimer’s. I can’t recommend this book enough, especially to fans of Elizabeth Berg but also to anyone who’s had parents and watched that relationship come full circle.

I was drawn to this book because the description says it's a memoir of caring for Berg's elderly parents, one of who suffers with Alzheimer's. I lost my grandpa earlier this year, and while he didn't have Alzheimer's, I thought it would remind me of him. I took care of him every single day for the last several years - and especially the last six months of his life. He was truly my best friend and I miss him so much, but this book didn't do anything to remind me of him and our situation. And sadly, I was pretty bored with the writing style.

I received a complimentary digital copy of this book from the publisher and NetGalley in exchange for an unbiased review.

At 70 years old, author Elizabeth Berg reflects on the decline in her aging parents back in 2010. Her 89 year old father begins to show signs of Alzheimer’s disease which is heartbreaking. She remembers him as a strict, militant Army “lifer” who slowly starts to “lose” it. During that time Elizabeth and her siblings try to support and ensure their parents are safe with her brother living in Hawaii and her living in Chicago, the major responsibilities fall on her sister Vicki who lives nearby. This is ultimately the year or so before the death of her father and eventually her mother.

Her parents had married in January 1943 at an Army base in TX. They always lived a modest life relying on each other throughout their years together. They would take her father to visit his brother Frank in a nursing home where they could reminisce on their past military days. It was her mother Jeanne who seemed to struggle the most with the all changes of aging and declining health. She was resistant and resentful about the curveball life has thrown at her refusing to resign to the life of an “old” person.

It is not a sappy love story about parents who “lived happily ever after” fairytale. She describes a history to which most can probably relate with imperfect parents whose lives slowly change in ways they never anticipated. The independent father soon becomes the frail confused man in need of constant surveillance and reliance on his wife. The mother who becomes angry and resentful when having to resign to selling their family home.

It’s a touching story of endurance and support as well as the frustrations that arise with aging. I think most people would prefer to age gracefully with our pride and dignity intact. It’s a delicate and precarious balance to ensure that happens while maintaining the safety and support that is essential.

I was excited to read this book both because of the author and the subject matter. I've lived this drama with my own parents. From watching them age, and seeing it being more difficult for them to live alone, in their home, to the difficult task of moving them and managing the changes. Elizabeth Berg tells the story of her parents and their families with such honesty and love, it really brought me to tears several times. When we suddenly become the caregivers and the decision makers it is met with a myriad of emotions. Berg shares this evolution and doesn't sugar coat the hard times.
I can't say enough about how this book impacted me. I'm going to be recommending it to all my friends, because we are aging, and if they still have their parents there is a good chance these choices are going to be happening.

4.5 stars

There's a line in here about how your parents took care of you when you were a baby so eventually it becomes your turn to take care of them. Only it's not the same because babys' butts are cute.

This book is a diary of Elizabeth's parents' decline. During the months covered, her mom is 88 and her dad 90. They live in Minnesota near E.B.'s sister; E.B. lives in Chicago. They are to the point where they no longer can manage on their own so they'll be moved to an apartment building for seniors. The dad will be diagnosed with dementia and then Alzheimer's; the mom will become bitter over having to leave her home of 40 years and not fully understanding what the future holds for her. The mom's attitude was so similar to how my mother-in-law was with her husband's diagnosis, it felt like reliving those times again. E.B.'s interactions with her family will teach her many valuable lessons of love and understanding, but before it gets to that point, she experiences her own guilt, anger, confusion, and bitterness.

These are times most of us will endure as our parents age, and again as we ourselves age. In the end it's about family and love, something everyone should be able to identify with. I love how expressively Elizabeth Berg writes, and here she lays out her own feelings and thoughts. It's not all pretty but she wants us to learn from her experiences, from her mistakes. Very touching. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher.

I've always enjoyed Elizabeth Berg's fiction and she writes this memoir in the same easygoing, conversational style. She writes about personal experience, but it's a universal problem that many baby-boomers are - or will - face whether it be for parents, siblings, or spouses.

One of the hardest things imaginable is watching a loved one with Alzheimer's or some similar memory loss. It's like a gradual death over and over. I've had to face it several times with family members and it never gets any easier. I always wonder - do they have flashes of recognition as to their condition? I hope not.

This had to be a difficult memoir for Berg to write, but she did it with honesty and sensitivity.

Elizabeth Berg provides an honest, heartbreaking, yet hopeful account of her aging parents. Following her mom and dad as they move out of their home and her father dealing with the early stages of Alzheimer's is hard to read at some points. But the compassion and description of roles shifting, help everyone who will someday be at this point.

Thank you, NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book.

A very interesting study of the decline of our lives. I've dealt with the decline and deaths of both of my parents so I can empathize. Very different situations but the feelings are the same. It is a tough look at how our bodies and our minds change over time regardless of what we want or expect. And how our love for ourselves and others change over time and adapts as needed. And how we all deal with changes differently.
I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley and the publisher and voluntarily chose to review it.

Elizabeth Berg was brave to be so honest with her readers in I'll Be Seeing You. A great memoir with nuggets of wisdom for all.

Elizabeth Berg has written a timely memoir. Just when my friends and family are aging not so gracefully. Her honesty and ability to share are heartwarming. She holds nothing back. The pain and confusion of dementia. Her parents leaving their home. Adjusting to failing bodies and minds. There is her a love story here as well. This is a very good read.
#I’llBeSeeingYou #ElizabethBerg #Netgalley

Author Elizabeth Berg has written a bittersweet, often painful yet keenly observant accounting of her parents’ last years together. Her father became debilitated by dementia and her mother was his primary caretaker, while they moved from their home into a care facility. It was all very reminiscent of what my own family experienced so there is much to learn here. It is a brave book. I received my copy from the publisher through NetGalley.

I received a copy of this memoir from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

This book was lovingly heartbreaking. It details the struggles, impatience, and guilt involved when one is required to begin parenting a parent. Berg was honestly critical of herself and her parents in a loving way. She details the heartache of her parents in adjusting to their end of life changes and her own frustrations with their attitudes.

This is a great book for those of us in the sandwich generation.

Another member of the club

I think it was my mom who told me many years ago about how her co-workers were all now in the 'sandwich' generation, who were caring for their parents AND their children....

Well, fast forward probably 40 years, and I've been spending time caring for my parents, first my father now my mother, independent living, hiring caregivers, assisted living, selling houses, moving, falls, illnesses, etc. And now COVID preventing visiting...

Elizabeth Berg writes such a heart-wrenching but brutally honest account of her own experiences with her aging parents. I found myself nodding time and time again, I found myself feeling like I wasn't alone with this, with the feelings of guilt, with the discussions of what is the best thing to do, and that's all we can ever do, what seems like the best thing at the time. And, time is at once our friend and enemy. I noticed that there have been several years since the event described by Ms Berg and this book, I guess helping gain perspective.

All I can say now is read this book; if you don't need it yet, still read it to see what is to come.

Thank you to the publisher for lending me a time-constrained e-arc via Netgalley. This review is optional and my own opinion.

What a love story. What a sad and happy story. This book is so insightful, especially as we have a huge aging population. Many of us will be both taking care of our children and our parents at the same time and possibly even grandparents. Elizabeth's thoughts and feelings are written beautifully and leave much to be thought about.

This is author Elizabeth Berg's memoir of dealing with her parents in their late 80's. Her father is experiencing dementia and her mother feels suffocated because he needs her constantly. Then there's the battle of moving them to a retirement community. At first, her mother can't wait to go and her father is opposed, but then, once it happens, her mother is angry. I can relate to much of what she writes because we were both Army brats with fathers we loved but who we also remembered being afraid of until later in life. My widowed father and his second wife, fortunately, chose to move to a retirement community by choice, but I still experienced many of the emotions and decisions that Elizabeth Berg did as her parents grew older. She writes so prosaically about the changes that happen as our parents age which only makes us confront our own mortality and look with wonder and often, affection, at the life we've had. One of the poetic sentences she wrote that stood out to me was when she was describing how her sister read a magazine: "She made reading a magazine look like paper ballet." I had tears streaming from my eyes as I read the last few chapters of this heartfelt memoir. Thank you to Netgalley for the ARC ebook I was offered.

I devoured this book. It is so well written and so poignant. Even if one has not been through the experience Berg talks about of helping her elder parents transition from freedom to assisted living, etc. it is meaningful. The characters are real people and she make you feel that - including her own frailties throughout the process. I've always liked Elizabeth Berg's writing and I LOVED this one.