Sex and the City of God (since I was blocked from posting the actual word) is not really about the subject of the tv show. But that word is part of the story - but the main part of the story is God. The author, Carolyn Weber, writes a vulnerably open recounting of her growing up and her relationships with a few men. She is honest with her thoughts, desires, and yet her ability to keep the standard of God's best for her in her thoughts as these men came and went in her life, and how she ultimately found the one she would say "yes, I do" to. Not to be left out is the poignant story of her father lying in a hospital bed to open and close her memoir. Delightfully written with lessons to learn from lessons she learned along the way. This book was advanced to me from the publisher through NetGalley with no commitment for any positive commentary. I recommend it to you. Almost forgot to mention that I love how nearly every chapter opens with a quote from Augustine - and there-by makes the creativity in the title perfectly appropriate.

I was interested in this book because I enjoy memoirs and romance books, mainly Christian ones. Carolyn Weber is such a gifted writer. She’s also heavily inspired by classic literature. This book revolves heavily around her love for God and her exploring true romantic love. Weber points out the truth that we should always put God first before everything else. She also explores few of her relationships (friends and romantic ones) and the one relationship that ended up being the one. I enjoyed reading about her relationship with her husband. We also learn a bit of her complicated relationship with her father. Weber became a Christian while attending college and we learn more about her navigating her faithI never read her first memoir, “Surprised by Oxford” (it’s on my book wishlist though!) but now I’m looking forward to reading it even more!

This was a great read!

Carolyn Weber’s first memoir, <i>Surprised by Oxford</i>, delighted me so much that I’ve read it at least twice – and it left me eager to hear more about a key point she left unresolved: What happened with the tall, dark, and handsome friend who left her with a card containing a single question mark?

First and foremost, this new memoir is a love story: a true story, yet rich with the detail, characterization and romantic highs that are normally reserved for novels. So yes, it rescues me from the cliffhanger of Carolyn’s first book. But it also does a whole lot more. For Carolyn, reconciling her romantic life with her new identity as a disciple of Christ takes time. Along the way, she encounters numerous temptations: scenes that are vivid, yet handled tastefully. Considering the title, there’s surprisingly little to make the cautious reader blush.

Always, the narrative circles back to faith, to wonder, and to the divine romance. And what a romance! Who else but Jesus could so deeply know Carolyn as a person, could be so deeply, relentlessly loving, and so able to craft foreshadowings and plot points enough to satisfy a book-loving English major turned Oxford don?

Speaking as a lifelong single woman, I found her portrayal of the sweetness of Jesus within the single life to ring true in a way that few authors have been able to capture – especially in the same pages that contain such a satisfying human romance.

As in her first memoir, Carolyn’s sense of place is rich and detailed, transporting the reader into the cloistered world of an Oxford college, and ping-ponging back and forth across the Atlantic, with scenes set in London, Ontario and Washington, D.C.

There were moments where the author spoke just a little above my head, but in general, her habit of marrying literary and spiritual meaning to real life invites me to reread this book and ponder some more.

Thanks to NetGalley for the digital ARC.

Reading Sex and the City of God has been my introduction to Carolyn Webers' writing. It was excellent, and it will likely be my favorite book of 2020. It rivals Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot, in my estimation, only told through a 21st-century lens.

Lovers of Oxford, literature, and most importantly, God's design for Christian marriage will appreciate this well written (though somewhat academic) tome. I loved it so much that I purchased and downloaded the author's first autobiographical work immediately upon finishing - Surprised by Oxford, and was not disappointed!

My thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for an ARC for this, my honest review.

I didn't finish this book. The narrative wandered and was ill-structured. I wanted to cheer for this author and her story but could not stay with the text.

I've only read the introduction so far on this book, but I had to review it so others know how good it is. Carolyn has a lyrical way of writing, and it reminds me of how much I enjoyed her other books (time to reread them I think!).

I do not remember why I originally picked up Suprised by Oxford. It was probably a book I chose to review. But in the decade since it came out, I have read it three times, I believe. I have given away several copies, and I have recommended it to many. I think I will read pretty much anything that Carolyn Weber writes. She is a writer of both skill and insight.

Sex and the City of God is a follow up to both the love story with God and TDH (Tall, Dark, and Hansome.) If you are reading this as a follow up to Surprised by Oxford, which I recommend, you know that they are going to get married eventually. That lack of suspense did not impact my reading or my enjoyment of the story.

Like Suprised by Oxford, there are plenty of references and allusions. As you might expect from the title, Augustine is a particular conversation partner. Weber balances the story of her relationship with her now-husband with the relationship with her creator. This is intentional throughout because she wants to parallel how marriage is like our relationship with God. I do like the spiritual exploration in real life metaphors. It is part of how I like to think about both religious life and how I want to 'seek God in all things.' Christianity Today had a positive review but had a few reservations because the reviewer thought that at times there was a tension between the story and seeking God in that story.

That tension is part of what life is about though. It is always hard to accurately see where God is at any point in time, and even in reflection, we are still only 'seeing darkly' as we seek to piece together how God has been at work in our lives. As I am studying an Ignatian form of spiritual direction, the practice of the Prayer of Examen is a vital part. The Prayer of Examen, when done traditionally, is a practice there one or more times a day we stop and seek the Holy Spirit's guidance as we review our day, seeking out where God was with us, where we need to seek forgiveness for sin, and seek God for guidance and wisdom on how to proceed in the future (both in the guidance of the Spirit and with the intention to avoid sin or act justly.) In some sense, memoirs like this, ones that seek to trace not only God's work in our lives but the ways that God often works in the lives of many Christians that are in similar situations, is like a type of examen.

There are almost no books that I can't find some area where I would write things differently because I am not the author, and I have different biases and perspectives. Two small points I wish were handled slightly differently. First, I am, because of the large number of single people in my life, always aware of how Christians tend to talk about marriage as the maturity making institution. Marriage is a maturity making institution, but certainly not the only one. Singleness is, in its way, a different type of maturity making institution. I do not think that Weber is attempting to make marriage the only method, but a few more caveats I think would help.

Another point where I wish there was some more discussion is the reality of sex after marriage when there has been sex before marriage. Maybe I am reading into the text too much. Still, it seems to me that there is a strong hint that in the early scene where Weber's ex-fiance stops by for her birthday, and they go to her grandmother's cabin, and he tries to initiate sex, this is not the first time that he would have been initiating sex. Throughout the book, despite the Sex and the City play on words in the title, the discussion of sex is very restrained (which I appreciate). But what I wish more Christians would talk about, especially in a case like this, where there is a conversion and an attempt to live according to traditional Christian ethics after conversion that the potentially hinted at sex before conversion is not something that will permanently scar a marriage. Just by the numbers, many currently existing Christian marriages have one or both partners where one or both spouses were sexually active before the wedding. I do not want to advocate for a too nicely placed bow (it was all perfect because of Christ) or too many intimate details. But some reassurance that even in less than ideal circumstances, God can still work, is always helpful.

As someone who identifies as a person of faith and knows that there are struggles to find God, I really appreciated this memoir. I found Carolyn's story to be inspirational and one I could relate to. I liked the writing and found myself very invested in the stroy.

A wonderful next installment in the life stories and musings by Carolyn Weber. I so enjoyed her book Surprised by Oxford and wasn’t disappointed by this one on the theme of love, commitment, the role of fathers, and how romantic love beds down and morphs into something longer lasting in a decades-long marriage. Her vocation as a literature professor informs the pages with her evocative literary allusions, but her prose is readable and memorable.

I was excited to begin this book by Carolyn Weber after reading her earlier book, Surprised By Oxford, earlier this year. Her writing swept me into her story from the beginning and I remember finishing that book wanting to know the rest of her story. Thankfully, this book takes up that story, walking the reader through the continuation of her developing relationship with God and one TDH. The quotes from Augustine throughout tie her story together and provide reflecting points on her relationships.

I picked this book on a whim but I enjoyed it. It's s one woman's memoir of loving God and this is the best love story ever.. We all need a memoir that's relatable, intriguing and honest. She does talk about her romantic love *sigh* but I could have used some talk (a little more) about her relationship with her father.

Thank you to the publisher and netgalley for my copy

I picked up this book because I was, admittedly, intrigued by the title and then the description. It was exactly the book I needed to read. After having consumed entirely too many romance novels lately, I felt the Holy Spirit showing me I have some recalibration to do. In Sex and the City of God, Carolyn Weber frequently recalibrates as she seeks to love Jesus more and to live a life of love and obedience, often referencing St. Augustine's "City of God." I'd point anyone to this book who is questioning the self-centered, short-sighted views of love and sex that permeate our culture and who wants to understand a deeper, better way (single or married), explained in a very approachable, heartfelt, non-preachy way.

Weber didn't immediately launch into talk of romantic love as I expected, but I was immediately drawn into how she articulated her ideas and told her story. It was warm and inviting, intelligent and relatable. Plus, she is a literature professor who loves Jesus! My kind of person. As she works her way into her story, there are glimpses of her coming to faith while at Oxford (a whole other book of hers which is now on my to-read list), but the book mostly focuses on her early years of being a Christian, figuring out what that means for her, and then growing in that. As she matures in her faith, she begins to reorder her loves and priorities to put God ahead of her desires, and spoiler alert, begins to find it is the better way. In the realm of romantic love, that means crucifying some old ways and thought patterns.

I really appreciated how honest Weber is, especially as she talks about the temptation to follow the natural inclination to act on attractions and later tough times in her relationship with her husband. Weber explores what it really means to love God and how God has created love and marriage as a foretaste of and preparation for eternity. It's not the rom-com view of wuv, but a much deeper, realistic, hopeful, and long-term perspective on love and sex, one that is not compatible with the zeitgeist. Sometimes books like this can seem all packaged and trite and holier than thou. This book never was.

One thing I did want was more detail about Weber's father — his struggles with mental illness and ultimate conversion and then reconciliation with her, as that was mentioned frequently but not explored as fully as it might have been, though perhaps out of respect for her family...or maybe that's for another book.

Reading Sex and the City of God, one gets the sense of having stumbled into a book of poetry that's been set out into sentences and paragraphs. Metaphors abound (and then reproduce). Scenes give way to flashbacks which are then interrupted by a reflection and then quotes from a famous pieces of literature. There is so much beauty in this book. But it's all tangled in a way that I guess is meant to be artful (so many observations about the weather!?) but is mostly confusing. There is a great story in this book, but one must work to find it.

Thanks to NetGalley for providing a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.