I am a fan of Tannen, and read many of her earlier books on communication. This book does is a different direction and is memoir-like as Tannen seeks to know her father, starting with his early life in Warsaw, Poland and tracing it forward. Through this moving account, Tannen discovers not only much about her father, but more about herself. This is a heartfelt story about a father-daughter relationship and what it really means to know a father as a person as well as a parent.

Hello! I wrote about this book for THRIVE GLOBAL

"Searching for Answers, “Finding My Father” with Deborah Tannen"

https://thriveglobal.com/stories/searching-for-answers-finding-my-father-with-deborah-tannen/

Did you ever wonder about your father’s life before your were born? Deborah Tannen wanted to know more and spent decades interviewing her father and reading his journals after he retired. He was a writer, kept copies of his letters and was thrilled for her to not only read them but also discuss the contents with him. She shares this journey of discovery in her book, Finding My Father.

read more: https://thriveglobal.com/stories/searching-for-answers-finding-my-father-with-deborah-tannen/

I've been a fan of Deborah Tannen since the book, "You Just Don't Understand," about the difference in the ways men and women use language.
This new book, examines the life of her father, who was born to a Hasidic family in Warsaw, arrived in New York in 1920 and eventually ran for Congress.
A lovely tribute to her father. This book made me miss my dad too.

This is an interesting memoir written by acclaimed author Deborah Tannen about her father. His life is truly book worthy - he was born in a Hasidic community in Warsaw, immigrated to the US speaking no English, worked as a teen in garment factories but managed to get his high school diploma and graduate law school, finally becoming a lawyer in his 50s after a long string of odd jobs and a stint as a Communist.

What I found most amazing about Eli Tannen was how he documented everything and saved anything that gave insight into his experiences. He clearly wanted this book to be written and I think it does him justice. I would have rated it higher but the way Deborah crafted the story sometimes left me frustrated but overall, it's a thorough and unflinching look by a daughter at a man she revered.

Thanks to NetGalley and Random House/Ballantine for the advanced copy to review.

These very personal histories are also histories of American life over the centuries. This was especially interesting to me because I have enjoyed the author's books over the years, but also because I am writing family stories for my college-age granddaughter. Young people now living through this current pandemic need to know that this country and its people have lived through far worse times in the last century and showed such courage and resilience. I hope she learns some factual history and life lessons through stories of the generations that came before her.

I have a penchant for memoirs and stories passed down generation to generation, regardless of the subject matter or time in history. I feel these are so important not only to family members, but for everyone. If they are not told and shared, they become lost, and without personal history, we miss out on so much more than what textbooks can provide. Deborah Tennen shares stories about her father that he shared with her, as well what she learned and discovered with the help of journals and letters he left behind. The personal look into her inner struggles as she learns more about him and his life is emotional, and I feel for her. I also admire her for sharing these personal feelings and entrance into her and her family's lives and history. It was very interesting to read and I am glad that I had the opportunity to.

Tannen writes an incredibly insightful book about her father. She was fortunate to be privy to so much information. Her father kept journals, letters, talked extensively to her and also was interviewed by a researcher who delved into even more nuances of her father's life. The family history is endlessly fascinating. Tannen is besotted with her father and less infatuated with her mother. In the two chapters that deal,with her parents' marriage and the other woman, Helen, the author is quite repetitive in belaboring her point. I think she drove it needlessly into the ground. This is an excellent book on family history.

In this diversion from her usual subject matter, Deborah Tannen gives us this far-reaching story of her family, going back generations. It focuses on her father, and she shares her experience of learning from his story and coming to understand their unique family. Anyone who comes to this book looking for her usual wisdom on language & communication will be surprised by her foray into a new genre, but pleasantly.

Thanks to NetGalley for providing a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

#FindingMyFather #NetGalley 4.5 stars rounded up to 5. Deborah Tannin has written a remarkable memoir of her father's life- actually of her whole family's lives. She started it many years ago and she was encouraged by her father. It was a labor of love.


I had read her previous books on discourse so I pounced on this one, which turned out to different than I anticipated. The parts I really got interested in where her father's early life in Warsaw, his communism and how it affected his family.


The ending of the books wraps it up and normalizes their somewhat unusual family line. I'm glad I read it and thank NetGalley and Random House for this advanced copy. I will enjoy seeing how others feel about the book.