The Love Study is the first in a new series by Kris Ripper, and another title in Carina's queer Adores line. My previous encounters with Adores titles have been mixed, but this one was unequivocally lovely. Sharp, quick dialogue and the dry wit of the narrator, Declan, combined with slow-build angst to make a sweet, thoughtful HEA, with plenty of adorableness along the way.

Declan is a "commitmentphobe", in all aspects of his life. Among his friends he's notorious for abandoning his last boyfriend, Mason, at the altar and he hasn't had a relationship to speak of in the five years since. Now, at 28, he's pretty much given up on dating or any plans for permanency. He works as an office temp, rejecting offers of long term employment in favour of the endless variety and easy exit routes of short contracts. It isn't what he envisioned but it's fine and it feels safe, given the devastation he caused when he tried committing in the past.

What he does have is an awesome found family in the 'Marginalized Motherfuckers', his friends from college who form a queer circle of safety around him. They include Mason (the erstwhile and very forgiving former fiance), Oscar (misanthropic, with anxiety) and Mia and Ronnie (the group's only couple). These five have known one another for ever, and it shows in the brilliant, easy way they tease, infuriate and care for one another. Right at the start of the book, when I wasn't sure if and how it would work for me as a romance, I was utterly sold on the fierce love between these five.

When The Love Study opens the Motherfuckers are on the countdown to Mia and Ronnie's wedding and Declan is feeling secretly fragile, recalling the run-up to his own failed nuptials. Enter Sidney, a genderqueer YouTuber with a life advice channel called Your Spinster Uncle. They have recently moved to town and are looking to make connections, as well as ways to grow their channel. A chance encounter at a party leads them to make Declan a proposition: why doesn't he come on the show as part of a modern dating experiment? Each week Sidney can set up him with prospective partners, and explore what does and doesn't work in a live-stream show. It can be called The Love Study.

What the study reveals, of course, is that Declan and Sidney have a thing for each other: full marks for intellectual and physical chemistry. When they're together they find an easy rhythm of talking, sharing food, watching Netflix and listening to podcasts that leads to, you know, touching and tangled limbs and the bedroom. But since Declan is terrified of commitment, and Sidney doesn't feel like dating works for them either, they're unsure of what to do about it. What do they even call themselves? Companions? Datefriends?

The Love Study is about two people learning how to move beyond the social conventions and cultural norms of romance and dating, and forming a relationship that makes sense to them. Neither feels like they 'fit' in the world, for lots of reasons, and although they know intuitively that they 'fit together', the more they try to name or describe what they have, the less comfortable it feels. This discomfort starts to seem like failure: failure at romance, at dating, at relationships. The book's angst comes out of this disconnect between the infinitely varied lived experiences of gender, sexuality and love, and the social structures of those things. Kris Ripper does a great job of showing the allure of norms - Declan definitely doesn't want to get married, but he's grieving for the loss of the idea of it - and the difficulty of breaking free of them. It's especially difficult when you've gotten to know one another in the spotlight of social media, which can be strict and normative as well as freeing.

What I loved about the book in the end was the way it didn't make light of these issues, or the process of working through them. Both Sidney and Declan, but especially Declan, are given lots of time to figure things out, via the aforementioned cute scenes of cooking and watching Netflix, and through the interventions of the other Motherfuckers. It could have felt like a very shallow basis for conflict and angst, but it didn't. So although I wasn't sure about the swift set-up for the story in the early chapters, I was fully on board by the final third.

A couple of other things to mention. The book is fade to black, so there is no on-page sex, although it is very sex positive. It focuses instead on generating intimacy through talking and thinking (and being ruthlessly teased by your friends). I think this was absolutely the right choice, because it keeps the reader's eyes where they are meant to be, on the juncture of Declan and Sidney's personal expectations, rather than on the juncture of their bodies. That's where the work is needed in this case. There is also no external threat or violence. While the impacts of homophobia and transphobia are acknowledged, they aren't used for plot and so Declan and Sidney have space to develop intimacy on their own terms. Both of these things contribute to the softness of the story, and I found it a soothing comfort at a difficult time.

I'm very much looking forward to the next book in the series, which is grumpy, anxious Oscar's story. He had some lovely cameo moments in this book, and I'm already deeply invested in his future happy ending.

The ARC for this novel was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you very much!

“Companionship doesn't have to mean a sexually exclusive lifetime commitment that stars with marriage and ends with death,but that is such a strong narrative it's hard to find people who are open to other interpretations"

Dating is difficult. Finding love, that special and unique person, is even more, and Declan knows it.

After left Mason, his ex-boyfriend and who he thought would be the love of his life, on the altar, Declan finds himself in a difficult position, full of fears and insecurities. He has not been the same since he ran away from his own wedding in front of all his guests in the midst of a panic attack, but although life was difficult for him then, he now believes he is ready to go on dates again. It's been six years since his failed wedding to Mason, his anxiety and panic attacks are under control (almost) but while he is sure, he has been unable to find a way to start dating again.
When he meet Sidney, a non-binary youtuber with a channel dedicated to give advice to followers, he thinks that maybe what he needs is a host. With Sidney's new series called The Love Study, Sidney will decide on Declan's upcoming dates and they will be able to comment on the results in a live on YouTube later. Declan doesn't really care too much if his dating was almost disastrous, because although he has in mind that he wants to date, he thinks he has already found the person he is looking for in the beautiful and incredible youtuber who plays his host.

This is not a drama story, I have warned you once. It is a sweet, sensitive story that talks about not fitting into the mold, about wanting something more than what society is used to wanting. She talks about trauma, insecurities, unresolved issues and touches on very important topics in a healthy and extremely sweet way because, God, Declan and Sidney's relationship is beautiful.

To be honest, although I really enjoyed the story, it was difficult for me to connect with it at first. The first half of the book was definitely not my thing, it took me too long to get used to the characters, connect with them, feel some emotion and empathy, but when I got to the second half of the book everything was so sweet and spectacular that it made me let go a sigh of relief and excitement that Sidney and Declan are the most wonderful and humane people in the world.

The story centers on Declan, a boy who, as mentioned a lot in the book, had a failed relationship 6 years ago with his best friend named Mason. Declan is a very special character, very complicated, because from the first moment he is introduced to us we can see how guilt gnaws at him even after so many years. As he tells us his love story, he also tells us about his anxiety and panic attacks and how it felt for him to go through all those negative changes in his life, which have still left him after many years.
Declan is empathetic, adorable, somewhat silly and with the habit of speaking without thinking, he is a character who shows his insecurities on each page of the book, who tells us how it is to want to be the perfect piece for the wrong game and I must say that, although in the first half of the book I didn't understand his character very much, in the second half I felt a lot of sympathy for him. He is adorable and has been through a lot of things but he is trying to give everything to make things work and that seemed very human and nice of him, in addition to worrying too much about what others feel, trying to make people feel comfortable around him and he's super funny, which I found adorable throughout the book.

For me, the star is Declan, but Sidney is not far behind because although we know little about Sidney's past, what they show us in the book is an extremely responsible person who really likes to help people and who, in addition, is very aware of him and what he wants, as well as the importance of a healthy relationship with good communication. Sidney is just what Declan needs, because although they are not the same, they understand each other very well and together they make an incredible duo. Between laughs and jokes they tell you a very entertaining story that finally becomes extremely cute.

Something that I especially loved about the story was just that, how adorable the couple was, the beautiful relationship Sidney and Declan had and, especially, the way they paid attention to each other's limits, tastes and needs as well as to his emotional well-being, something that I have seen show a lot in the books that have been published lately and that I adore every time it is handled in romance books.
Sidney and Declan know that they have many things to work on and they know that it can be difficult, especially for Declan because of her past and those unsolved problems, but little by little we see how they evolve and I must say that I loved. Too much the sweet couple they made, their moments together, their jokes, how sweetly they showed their love and how they cared for each other.
For me, that relationship saved the book.

And this is when I start with the things that did not seem to me from the book, and the reason why, in general, it was difficult for me to get into the story at first.

For starters, the first thing Declan tells us is how his friends present him. They don't introduce him to new people like "Declan, their friend", but like "Declan, he left his boyfriend at the altar so be careful".
I think that's a little inside joke among his friends, but at first when I read it, it seemed to be in very bad taste, especially since later Declan explains how uncomfortable he feels about it and tells us about his story with Mason.
It wasn't precisely the joke that made me uncomfortable, but what it involved.

Honestly, when friends are featured in the book (with that "wonderful" joke to start with) all I could feel was discomfort as well as some anger. Actually, I didn't like none of his friends at the beginning of the book because I felt they were somehow making fun of Declan and the incident of his wedding. That, combined with the bad taste jokes and the extremely awkward scenes in which they, in my opinion, made fun of Declan made him feel no empathy for them.

In fact, at the beginning of the book, as I mentioned earlier, I couldn't empathize with anyone other than Declan and Sidney. If I could describe that first half of the book in one word, I'd say it's awkward.
Starting with the jokes of Declan's friends, the conversation between Sidney and Mason about The Love Study, going through, of course, those moments when Declan attended his dates or didn't know how to talk to Sidney.

Little by little, and as the story progresses, we see how Declan's discomfort disappears and we begin to understand a little more the relationship between Sidney and Declan, as well as that of Declan with his friends. However, for me, the second half of the book was GOLD.

There we not only see Declan dating a person who he considers extremely important to him, but we also see him face some mistakes from the past, it is where he tells us about his insecurities more deeply, as well as shows us that side that he always hides in front of people. We also have some very interesting conversations between Sidney and Declan about relationships, boundaries, friendship... I find it lovely that they can talk to each other in such an honest and open way and can trust each other so much.

As I said before, I didn't like the first half of the book very much but the second half was gold for me.
This, however, is a super cute book, one of those that does not have too much drama but entertains you a lot. If the author had handled the start differently, I think this would have been a 5/5 book for me.

Declan left his boyfriend at the altar years ago. Jumping back into dating is intimidating - more so when he agrees for his dates to be chosen by Sidney, a YouTuber who wants to use Declan for their show. But it's a little hard for Declan to focus on his dates when all he can think about is a certain someone else...

Gosh, this was the cuteness thing I've read in ages. Declan and Sidney reached peak levels of utter adorableness - their relationship was saccharine in the extreme, which was frankly too much for me. But if you want to sigh happily until 80% of the way through the book, where there's a weak attempt at conflict, then you'll probably enjoy this piece of fluff.

This was an adorable romcom that had a really great approach to dating non-binary people in my opinion, and the struggles the protagonist went through were really well developed and I found myself fully engaged with the plot. Would love to read a sequel, maybe developing some of the amazing side characters we met!

This book was amazing and it handled the content really well! I appreciated the nuance and delicacy whilst handling sensitive topics, but also the explicit nature in how the book explored how their decisions affected every character in realistic and reasonable ways. The balance between humour, wholesome queer content and your traditional rom-com moments with serious explorations of sensitive issues. ((You redeemed the name Declan for me which is remarkable in of itself!)) I definitely recommend this book for everyone and is a wonderful appreciation to the expanding, happy queer canon.

The Love Study is a joy to read for a fun queer romance with an inclusive cast. I enjoyed all of the characters, and the story felt believable from start to finish. This was my first book with a gender-queer main character, and it was refreshing to have a cast who discussed gender identity/expression and sexuality so openly. The dialogue sometimes felt stilted, but it was always because Sidney and Declan were having the "ideal" version of conversations we all have sometimes; they were both able to express themselves fully (usually) without feeling the need to tiptoe around or suppress their thoughts and feelings (especially Sidney). I can't decide if the Declan/Sidney relationship wasn't quite developed to the extent I would have liked or if it's simply that I've never read a romance novel that seeks to break the romance mold. Whichever it was, I really enjoyed this book, and I will be looking forward to more from Kris Ripper!

If you’re looking for a fun and queer romance story, this is it. I love the development of the relationship between the two main characters as well as the support from the friends. However, throughout the novel, the tone and dialogue felt less than realistic and more of a caricature of what an adult sounds like. Overall, the story is very cute but I didn’t enjoy the actual execution as much as I wanted to.

<i>Alas, the marriage contagion, once limited to heterosexuals, has now infected the queers as well.</i>

This book was hella queer and i was 100% there for it.
I adored the friendship dynamic of the MF's and how unconditionally they loved each other. Sidney was definitely my favourite - i loved how thoughtful and insightful they were, it was a really nice contrast to how brash and impulsive some of the other (Declan) characters were.
Even though i definitely owe Declan a smack or two, it was a really cute story with some tangible chemistry.

This was a sweet contemporary queer romance with a fun setup: Declan (he/him) is a commitmentphobe who signs on for a dating series that Sidney (they/them) is going to run on YouTube but ends up having more chemistry with Sidney than any of the dates.

There's a lot of focus on them both working out their individual issues, which on the one hand is good to see people do on the page but a lot of times it felt like it was at the expense of us actually seeing more of their connection to each other.

This one was not for me. I requested it by mistake, but gave it a try because, I got it. But when I read it, I quickly realized it was not my thing.

I am a more of a sunshine and rainbows reader.

“I value companionship. And intimacy. And trust. I’m not against romantic relationships, I just haven’t found a way to adequately queer them to my satisfaction yet...Companionship doesn’t have to mean a sexually exclusive lifetime commitment that starts with marriage and ends with death, but that is such a strong narrative it’s hard to find people who are open to other interpretations.”

This book was super cute. It was light and sweet and was a quick read for me, and I’ll definitely be reading more by Kris Ripper.

The story follows Declan (he/him) who is twenty-nine and works for a temp agency because he is not into being tied down to one place of employ. He has a loyal and lovable group of friends, including his ex-fiancé who he left at the alter. He is introduced to Sidney (they/them) who runs a YouTube channel where they talk and give advice. Together Sidney and Declan come up with the idea of “The Love Study,” in which Declan will be set up on dates by Sidney with Sidney’s followers. The tag line is: “The Love Study. The series about love, dating, and the pursuit of queer companionship in a bleak and hopeless world.” I’m totally into this set up.

Without spoiling anything, you can probably guess what happens. The real meat of this book for me (which is told from Declan’s first person POV) investigates how his anxiety and patterns of self sabotage effect his romantic relationships. How feeling unworthy can cause him to literally make himself unworthy by treating those he loves with less compassion than they deserve. I adored both Declan and Sidney because of how open and vulnerable they’re able to be.

I thought that Declan’s relationship with Sidney was really beautiful as they figure out how they want to do romance together. I don’t need explicit sex scenes to feel romance or enjoy a romance novel but I do feel a little cheated when the characters are having sex and I don’t get to be a part of it, which happened in this book. I could have used a few more explicitly romantic moments to fully buy into how much Sidney and Declan liked each other.

ARC was provided by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.