This one was a little difficult to get into. I did find it interesting but it took me a long time to read and digest it. The author is very opinionated and uses ALOT of words. You need to have a quiet place to read this.

The author has some interesting insights into how people communicate today and how we could all do a bit better. There was also a great deal of research into how technology has affected human communication and connection. I felt like there were some good reminders throughout, but nothing too groundbreaking. I appreciate the thoughtfulness obviously put into this and it has allowed me to reflect on my own ability to communicate, so that is great. The book is also rather a quick read; I recommend it for anyone interested in how technology has changed the way we talk to one another and how we could improve.

Great book, shows a plethora of tips on being socially adept, would highly recommend, Can't wait for more books from this author.

THE ART OF SOCIAL EXCELLENCE is one of those books cursed by its release date. I am eager to put into practice so much of what author Henrik Fexeus recommends--just as soon as we are able to interact face-to-face with one another again.

Fexeus breaks down in an easy-to-read style, how to improve our social and conversational interactions. Unfortunately--for shy people like me--he doesn't offer much advice on overcoming shyness. He's more focused on improving social skills, not developing them.

He decries how isolated we all have become due to social media, texting, etc.--sadder still in 2020 than when he wrote those words.

Although I did read this book from cover to cover, it will be more valuable to go back and reread pertinent sections as needed. I, for one, will never again take for granted the opportunity to talk to a stranger in person. #TheArtOfSocialExcellence #NetGalley

THE ART OF SOCIAL EXCELLENCE

Henrik Fexeus has a new book that should appeal to anyone who has ever felt awkward navigating social situations (which is to say: all of us!).

Fexeus begins The Art of Social Excellence with the observation that the pressures of modern life mean that people are more disconnected than ever before. There’s some irony in this, considering that so many technologies purport to keep us connected to one another in real time. Yet near everyone has anecdotal experience of such technologically turbocharged interactions being perfunctory, impersonal, and often shallow. Functional? Yes. Deep and meaningful? Hardly.

Obviously, this is a problem. As human beings, we crave social interaction; yet we have created tools that provide the trappings of such connection without much of its substance. “The only thing that provides us with meaning and happiness, in the end, is good relationships with other human beings,” Fexeus rightly observes.

Thus, The Art of Social Excellence is Fexeus’ attempt to remind us of this fact and help us rediscover the niceties of doing so “IRL” instead of online. In that regard, Fexeus frames the matter in terms of achieving his notion of the aforementioned “social excellence,” which he describes as that “capability to navigate your social environment in ways that are mutually beneficial and will bring you closer to your own goals, as well as be supportive of, and strengthen your relationship with others.”

As such, much of The Art of Social Excellence comes across as earnest and well-intentioned, precisely because the book is largely about improving one’s social relationships. Unlike his previous book, The Art of Reading Minds, there are fewer “creepy” or “manipulative” undercurrents—if any at all. Often, The Art of Social Excellence reads like an overlong etiquette book, going over a number of points that seem obvious or self-evident. Still, many of those points bear repeating, and it’s a sad commentary on our times that a book like this needs to be written and read at all.

The Art of Social Excellence is a timely guide to the things we need to do so our relationships can flourish. So much of this amounts to some variation of being honest, respectful, and considerate towards others, as well as developing the skills to read the room—simple enough things too often taken for granted.

Thank you to the publisher for an advance copy via netgalley!

I was skeptical of this book. It turned out to be a pleasant surprise! The author does a great job at giving the reader concrete examples to implement in your own social interactions. It also gives you examples of what not to do and explains why which makes the reader comprehend so much better. Great job! Great read of anyone who wants to improve their social intersections, from anxious introverts to outspoken extroverts.

This one was definitely a great read for me! Very enlightening and I loved the writing style of the book. Will recommend this to all of my friends!

I found The Art of Social Excellence to be absolutely fascinating. I have never read a book like this before and learned lots of tools and tricks that can help me communicate better. I would definitely recommend this book by Henrik Fexeus.

Henrik Fexeus is a mentalist - someone who uses observation, intuition, and understanding of human behavior to appear magic. He's also a TV host, lecturer, and author of such books as "The Art of Reading Minds: How to Understand and Influence Others Without Them Noticing."

His newest book promises to lead the reader to "social excellence," through non-verbal cues, rhetorical strategies, voice inflection and tonal modulation, and above all, empathy and clarity.

The book is well-researched and well-presented, blessedly free of the kind of survivor-bias anecdotes that infest so many business books. The author's ideas are not particularly original - he draws heavily from "Crucial Conversations" and the Harvard Program on Negotiation - but he knits them together accessibly and understandably. This might be a useful overview/introduction for someone has not read those source works.

Unfortunately, the book suffers in its timing, to the degree that this may not be the right time for this content. The author is critical of electronic communication. He encourages face-to-face interactions whenever possible, close enough to touch several times on the arm or shoulder (more on this later). He attributes an erosion in social competence to use of electronic communication, and his description of how it feels rings true after innumerable Zoom meetings. But he offers nothing to make communication more effective in our pandemic world, nothing to aid understanding or decrease fatigue in virtual communication, nothing to support empathy and clarity while masked, nothing to bridge the gulf between the masked and the unmasked. The book's release date is November 2020, so one can only hope that the content will be more relevant by the time of publication.

Then there's the matter of perspective. There are passages that made me uncomfortable - e.g., the recommendation to touch in a conversation and an admiring anecdote about a friend who successfully engaged women while commuting on the metro. He looked for women who seemed "bored." The author applauds this because the women commuters "got to have an interesting social encounter rather than just a boring metro ride." There are readers who will find such recommendations tone-deaf, if not offensive.

Similarly, the author is big on clarity - in your own communications and in driving for others' motivations - but seems to have little understanding of the burdens and noise to such revelations, including actual or perceived lack of safety. The book's focus on conflict resolution is based on disagreements about discrete actions, not overall frameworks, the difference in what people want to do v. what they believe about the world. Such limitations make the book even less relevant today.

Many thanks to NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.

A well researched self help book about nonverbal communication. There were some good tips and insights about common communication ques and more. However< I thought it was preachy especially when talking about the business side of the book. it sounded like he was catering to the business moguls and how they succeed while the blue color and other workers could learn from the higher ups and that the isn't as valued or appreciated. Sounded like he was talking people away from current jobs to be venture capitalists.

Some good information on communication and how you may be giving off the wrong message but not for me. Very opiniated author. There are better self help books on the topic of nonverbal communication that doesn't make the reader feel insignificant and unsuccessful.

Thanks to Netgalley, the author and St Martin's Press Essentials for an ARC in exchange for a honest review.

Available: 11/3/20

This is a great book to hone one’s communication skills. These easy tips can be applied throughout home and work life. I enjoyed reading about the importance of nonverbal communication. I do wish the book had some visuals like charts or graphs to break up all the text.

Thanks to St. Martin’s Press and NetGalley for a copy in exchange for my honest review!