Funny and relatable. It captures the trials and tribulations of motherhood. Looking forward to the next installment. Definitely worth the read.

I was really excited for this book. But it dragged on. It was a slow start and the formatting didn’t work for me. I wasn’t a fan of the way it was worded and not knowing who was speaking in the chapter made it confusing. I had to keep going back to figure out who’s story we were on. The writing is good and it sucked me in. The content wasnt a win for me.

This was a very dark but compulsive read. Written in a different way than I’m used to as a reader (and I mean that in a good way), it was written like a letter to someone. From the main female protagonist to her husband. This was a tale of darker sides of motherhood and marriage and the struggles one can face in each of these relationships. The story is told in such a raw and nuanced manner by a woman who has been troubled by being a mother since she was a young girl.

Once I started reading, I couldn’t put it down as it consumed my attention. This was a powerful debut and one that I think will create A LOT of buzz among fans of women’s /suspense fiction.

I received a copy of this book fro Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

I saw a lot of people rating this highly and I love a good thriller, so I had to try it. The honesty about motherhood was nice to read, sometimes it's a struggle! This was a triggering book, so I did struggle with it at times and I think it kept me from enjoying it more.

Will definitely try this author again though.

I predict this will be a bestseller. It takes psychological thriller to a whole new level. Right.To.The.Last.Word. I would love to put this book forward to my book club, but I worry there are too many triggers that could hurt my friends....you really don’t know what burdens people carry. Thanks to NetGalley and publisher for the ARC.

There's been a lot of buzz around Ashley Audrain's debut novel. And deservedly so. The Push is going to be 'that book' for 2021.

Blythe is happy in her marriage to Fox. Fox wants a child, but Blythe is reluctant. She has reservations based on her own childhood. When baby Violet arrives, Blythe tries so very hard to be a good mother to her. But....

And I'm going to leave it there - you really need to experience reading this book for yourself. The prologue hints at the end and I couldn't wait to delve into the book. And I literally couldn't put it down. Audrain subtly drops startling turns into her narrative that caught me off guard. Had I really read that? I was torn between stopping to go back and check or just return to frantically turning pages.

Parts of The Push are hard to read, yet it's truthful, capturing the light and dark of motherhood with no filters. Audrain explores generational motherhood with excerpts and memories from and of Blythe's mother and grandmother. Nature vs Nurture? Blythe's own inner dialogue is brutally honest. Again, many truths.

Alongside that perspective is the psychological suspense plotline that's going to leave you stunned. Audrain doesn't hit the reader with it front on. Instead, it is insidious, leaving both Blythe and the reader unsure about their suppositions.....until there is no doubt. And that ending? Perfect!


Cr: Barbara Stoneham

The Push is a great title, being open to many interpretations and applications in the plot. This was a fabulous first book for Audrain - I can't wait to read her next. Here's an excerpt of The Push.

"Ashley Audrain previously worked as the publicity director of Penguin Books Canada. Prior to Penguin, she worked in public relations. She lives in Toronto, where she and her partner are raising their two young children. The Push is her first novel

This is one of those books that is so hard to read yet you can't put it down because you need to know what's going to happen. The book, a psychological family drama that documents the disintegration of a family in the most unsettling and distrubing ways. This book also has a lot of trigger warnings, infant death, mental illness.

In the novel we follow the main character, Blythe who endured a traumatic childhood. Blythe married to her husband Fox College sweethearts have their first baby, Violet. Blythe like many mothers fail to connect with her new born baby, she becomes exhausted and wonders why this isn't the experience other mothers talk about. Then Blythe and Fox have a son, who Blythe feels completely connected and in love with all the motherly instincts have seemed to connect. These feelings are short lived as a traumatic event occurs to the family, as they are left in pieces to be put back together, but will they ever be as happy as they once were.

A thought provoking, intense, powerful, gripping novel that's hard to believe is Audrain's debut, can't wait to see what else she comes out with.

The Push was a solid 4.5 star read, rounded up to 5 after some thought as, although I wouldn’t say it was an all time favourite, I had to give credit to the incredible writing and also the fact that not only did I dream about this book but it impacted me in so many areas and left me thinking and reflecting and remembering. I feel like I have soo much to say about this read so I will try to keep it as brief as I can. Two things before I start, 1 - This is a psychological drama with emphasis on the psychological, I was on the edge of my seat with discomfort (yay!) but this is not a novel for those looking for a thriller. For me, it was really incredibly readable literary fiction that I couldn’t put down and thought about when I had to do so. Leading me to 2 - this is not comfortable, this isn’t even nature vs nurture, it’s nature meets nurture and fights for it’s life. It is raw and dark and cruel and would be triggering to many and likely not a read for all. For me it was a huge success, see below :)

So, briefly, this is the story of Blythe’s life, with a focus on her as a Mom and a daughter. We learn of her mother and her mother’s mother. We learn of her life now and her life when she met her husband and how they existed in their first years of life as a couple and as parents. Every mother in Blythe’s bloodline has fallen devastatingly short as a parent, and Blythe is nervous that she will be the same despite the encouragement of a husband and mother-in-law that she loves. When she has her daughter Violet, she doesn’t bond with her and questionable things happen that make her wonder whether the issue is with her or whether it there is something wrong with her child. This is Blythe’s autobiography.

The first person narrative was perfection. This is how to write in this POV!! 👏 I knew Blythe but I also knew the people around her and magically knew when they actually thought differently than Blythe as a character thought they did, yesss Ashley Audrain!! Soo well written, you’re told through characters’ movements and body language/expression, glimpsing their perspective and personas. Also by doing this, we are constantly aware we may be in the hands of an unreliable narrator... Another thing I loved in her doing this was that by using I/you/her instead of names, this book allowed the reader to get confused about who the narrator was talking about/to and also to understand that these feelings and thoughts apply to so many. It showed the confusion and spiralling of Blythe with ease.

Blythe, her mom and her Grandmother’s stories were all interspersed in chapters throughout the story and sometimes I would stop and wonder whose story I was on, wonder whose husband she was discussing, whose Dad, whose Mom, and then perhaps a bit late to the game, I realized 💡 hello, could that literally be the point?? Amazing!

I was so devastated at all of the missed moments for help for so many of the characters. But, I was also so completely confused at who to feel for (again the point? 💡) is Blythe reliable as a narrator? Violet is a child, I had to remind myself of my children at that age and imagine.. well best you read for yourself... Ah-mazing! Speaking of emotions, although there were such heart stopping abusive moments, the moments that truly broke me down into tears were the moments of kindness, the neighbour, omg I could barely read those through crying. 👏 what a book that inserts you so firmly into someones darkness that when they see kindness you cry for them.. bravo!

I saw in the acknowledgements that Ashley Audrain is a mom and it confirmed what I had thought throughout, a mom wrote this, every nuance, every feel (or lack of) that she described, triggered memories of bonding that were, with a mere sentence, brought so forth in my mind that I was instantly emotional and further tying me up in a book that I am still trying to untangle myself from.

If you had a book club with people who could all handle the subject matter, this would make for incredible discussion. There were so many moments beyond the huge plot movements, subtle nuances that so caught me and I wanted to say “hey, what did you think of that moment?”

The only thing it lacked for me was that I felt it lost itself a teensy bit in the last 1/4 with a few “thriller” elements that took away from it in the overall for me but still only 1/2 a star of loss there. All in all, such a well written book, I +++ recommend that if you can handle the subject matter that you push yourself to read it now!👩‍👧

I thank Penguin Random House Canada and NetGalley for the advanced reader copy of this wonderfully written book, so pleased it was written by a Canadian author 🇨🇦

This starts as the perfect love story. Girl meets boy, they fall in love, get married and start a family. What happens next is thrilling, chilling and takes you into the depths of motherhood through three generations of women and what led them to the choices they made. It is shocking, revealing and an honest look inside the pain and heartache of what some women face becoming mothers. To go into the whole story would be to give away some of the plot, so I will just say that this is one novel that is as hard to read as it is to put down.

The author Ashley Audrain wrote the characters brilliantly that there was more than one moment when you had to stop to breathe in between chapters. I applaud the honest and raw in depth look into motherhood and its challenges. Having the insight of the three generations was very insightful to see how we are influenced by our own mothers and grandmothers. Thank you so much to the author Ashley Audrain, Penguin Random House Canada and NetGalley for an advanced copy of the book to review. It was a chilling read! All opinions expressed for this review are unbiased and entirely my own.

Gripping and written in such a way that you can't stop reading.

The push is about Blythe, a woman who wants to be the mother she never had. She wants to love her daughter, to give her the care and compassion she never had. But what if she's not like most children. Is it in her head? Why doesn't her husband notice? And what events have to happen for her to finally figure out if she's imagining it all or if it was true all along?

The push kept me on the edge of my seat. I wanted to hate it at times but I also secretly loved the twists and turns. It's written in a way that gives you some insight into previous generations and how they may have played on the events of the story. It also gives you another look into motherhood and marriage.

All of this story was so perfectly put together. I wouldn't change a thing if I could. Great for anyone looking for a dark thriller.

Thank you Netgalley and Viking/Penguin Random House for the advanced copy of The push by Ashley Audrain. I must admit the style of writing was hard to read at first and I put the book down after the first chapter. After reading another review from someone who had a similar experience, but who picked the book back up again, and continued, concluding with a solid review, I too gave The push a 2nd chance. and I am glad I did.
Blythe Connor is determined that she will be the mother to her new baby Violet that she herself never had.
But Violet and her never connect; then their son Sam is born–and with him, Blythe has the blissful connection she’d always imagined with her child. But when life as they know it is changed in an instant, the devastating fall-out forces Blythe to face the truth.
This book is about a family of Mothers and daughters who have a disconnect; While the main story is about Blythe and her daughter Violet, you also hear about Cecilia and Blythe, and Etta and Cecilia. The story is told in the first person narrative which definitely wasnt my style, but once I got used to use to it wasnt that bad, and once I also realized the story wasnt just about Blythe and Violet I became more committed to reading the story. It is a sad and somewhat disturbing story. Reviews are there not just to tell you what the book is about, but to let you know whether the reader liked it, how they felt, or what they didnt like. It says just as much when a reader has a hard time getting into a book, then tries and finally connects to it. I often get more out of not favourable reviews then a ton of 5 stars. 31/2 stars rounded up to 4

Oof, I'm not going to lie this was almost going to be a DNF for me - I found a hard time connecting with the style of writing and just felt that the first 20% of the book was a little flat. I'm so glad that one of my friends convinced me to push through as it got SO much better, after getting used to the writing style I found myself flipping the pages just to see what happened.

I hadn't read the synopsis going into this book, I think that I should have since the content is so dark. We get a close look at the darker side of motherhood that we may not talk about. Blythe has never had it easy; her mother left when she was young and she has a perception that she is unfit to be a mother. Giving birth to her daughter Violet proves to be difficult to her as she struggles to find that bond with her daughter; something that may have to do with her troubled past. Along comes her second child; a son, Sam, and things are completely different. She is head over heels with her new bundle of joy. A shocking family tragedy will have Blythe coming face-to-face with the truth.

I couldn't put down this book! I sat around the entire reading it just because I needed to know what was going to happen. There are so many twists; although some are hinted at - the last line of the book just blew my mind. You could say that history is repeating itself. I felt bad for Blythe at times, I agree that she could have put more effort to try and bond with her daughter Violet, but also having that feeling where no one believes you are incredibly hard. This book left me wanting more, but it's an amazing 4.5 star read.

TW; death of a child
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I would like to thank NetGalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review, all thoughts and opinions are my own.

I feel like I need to start this review by highly recommending everyone who is planning to read this book, to actually read the synopsis first. I never read the synopsis, but for this one I wish I did.
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I'm not going to lie, I stopped reading this one at about 15% through, it just wasn't for me, and I thought the subject matter to be just alittle too much. However, I decided to pick it back up and give it one more go. WOW, am I ever glad I did. Going back into this the second time and knowing what it was about made it "easier" to read. The subject matter was still incredibly hard but it was written amazing. I legit didn't want to put it down, but also constantly finding reasons to put it down. At times, I think my brain just needed a break.
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This story really takes you to some seriously dark places, where the author holds absolutely nothing back. I found myself completely uncomfortable, but so immersed in the read. This is a story that will rip your heart out again and again. Then you find yourself at the very last sentence of the book, and your heart once again is ripped out but this time, it gets stomped on too. I am so glad I picked this book back up, although it was a hard read, it was absolutely brilliant.

I really tried with this book, hoping it would get better. I keep seeing this being talked about and hyped up, but it’s not for me. It feels like the writing is not finished, the storytelling is so choppy and does not flow at all. I can’t seem to keep the characters straight because there’s hardly been anything to connect them to the story. Maybe I’ll revisit this at a later time, could be that it’s just not the right time for me to read this type of novel. I gave it a solid effort but am not finishing it at 35% in.

Well written, with very well developed characters and kept me interested. It gave good insight to the darker feelings of motherhood.
At the start, I found it difficult to keep track of the narrative because it was not clear to me that I was reading a manuscript written by the writer to her husband of her feelings towards motherhood and marriage. It was very well written right up until the very end.

This book was very dark in places, touching on areas of mental health and genetics which are not often covered in your average thriller. Without giving much away it's one which may put you off having children for a while but if you like a dark psychological read then this is one for you!

Would love to read more from the same author.

Thank you to Netgalley and Penguin Random House Canada for a copy of the ARC in return for an honest review.

The Push by Ashley Audrain has already raised the bar for all that is to follow in 2021. This is a truly exceptional debut, and I am ready for more from this promising and exciting new voice in Canadian fiction.

Blythe has given birth to daughter Violet, hoping that she will be able to bond with her child in a way that she was unable to do with her own mother. But from the very start, she struggles to make a connection with young Violet, who grows more difficult and disruptive with each passing day. Blythe's husband Fox sees only a loving child, and attributes Blythe's inability to connect with her to the simple fact that she is an overwhelmed novice mother who needs to make a greater effort. As Blythe gradually begins to doubt her own sanity, a picture begins to emerge of her dysfunctional relationship with her own mother, thanks to an alternating timeline moving between the past and present. Continuing from one generation to the next, the bonds of maternal love will once again be tested, and Blythe wonders if she can endure, yet again, a relationship that will bring her to the very brink.

This is a novel that I devoured in a single morning, so desperate was I to see how the dark and startling narrative would unfold, and I was left nothing short of stunned. Brilliant.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Penguin Random House Canada for the opportunity to read an ARC of this title.

The Push by Ashley Audrain  is fiction.  I thought it was a psychological thriller when I picked it up.  I was wrong.

First, let me thank NetGalley, the publisher Penguin Random House/Viking, and of course the author, for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.


My Synopsis:   (No major reveals, but if concerned, skip to My Opinions)

Blythe Connor has tried to love her daughter, but Violet didn't make it easy.  It seemed like Violet hated her mother from the start, and Blythe saw something in her child that made her wary.  They never really connected as Blythe had assumed mothers and daughters did.  Even when Violet starts to have problems at pre-school, Blythe's husband, Fox, doesn't see the issue.  He thinks it's all in Blythe's head, and she starts to believe him.

When Sam is born, Blythe's maternal instinct kicks in.  Everyone, including Violet loves Sam.

Then the unthinkable happens, and the world Blythe had envisioned crumbles again.


My Opinions:   

This is a really slow moving book.  As well, because the chapters are not titled,  and it is told in multiple time frames, it is a few paragraphs into each chapter before you figure out which family the author is referencing.  Then you have to re-start the chapter with that family in mind.

The book is about motherhood, and expectations.  It is about husbands and wives and children.  It is about marriage and endings.   It is about family.   It is about 3 generations of women and their love or lack thereof, for their children.

It is totally depressing.

It is also very well-written, and thought-provoking.  It proves my point that not everyone should have children, and often the woman herself knows whether a child is right for her.

I still didn't like it, but that just means it wasn't the right book for me.  It may be for you.  I am still giving it my 3-star good book rating, because the writing was good.  I just didn't like the topic..at all.

I am hoping her next book will be a better fit for me.

This psychological thriller focuses on motherhood. Blythe Connor, because she had a distant, neglectful mother, worries about being a good mother herself. When she gives birth to Violet, she doesn’t have the natural connection she expected to have with her daughter. Violet seems distant and rejects Blythe’s affection. She tries to express her concerns to her husband Fox but he is dismissive; he sees only an exhausted wife struggling with motherhood.

Violet becomes a true Daddy’s girl. She seeks attention from Fox and shows him affection, so Blythe starts to question whether she is just a terrible mother. After all, her own mother told Blythe, “’The women in this family . . . we’re different.’” Indeed, there are flashbacks to Blythe’s mother and grandmother and both would certainly not have won any awards for being nurturing.

In school, Violet is disruptive. She seems to lack empathy. When Blythe gives birth to a son, she immediately feels an inseparable bond. When tragedy strikes, Blythe’s relationship with Violet deteriorates even further and Blythe suspects that Violet is just a terrible person.

The book can be commended for its examination of the challenges of motherhood. It questions whether every woman will be a natural mother. Does society create false expectations? It is no wonder that Blythe feels guilt and shame and that she and Fox both pretend “that things weren’t as bad as they were.”

Fathers do not receive as much attention; their perspective is not given. All the fathers tend to be weak. Blythe’s father does little to help his daughter. A friend calls him weak for meekly accepting his wife’s behaviour, and Blythe agrees: “I thought of all the times he never stood up for himself . . . Of the pills he never took away, of the smashed dishes he always cleaned up. Of his quiet retreats to the couch. I hated that my mother had left him, but I wondered if he ever really tried to stop her.” Fox seems to be patient with Violet and gives her attention, but Blythe sees him as a dad who loses all levelheadedness and defends his child blindly. It would have been interesting to get his direct thoughts.

The only thoughts given directly are Blythe’s because she is the narrator. She writes the story almost like a letter in which she addresses Fox as “you” throughout. She calls what she writes, “my side of the story.”

The author tries to create suspense throughout. The reader is left to wonder whether Blythe is a reliable narrator. Does she see her daughter as she really is when she describes Violet’s empty eyes, contempt, “manipulative, premeditated coldness,” and her “icy looks [and] complete disdain”? Or is Blythe just another in a long line of bad mothers? Perhaps Fox is right when he tells Blythe she is just exhausted and when he dismisses Violet’s misbehaviour as “testing the boundaries” or the result of boredom or being provoked.

Unfortunately, I found the plot predictable. The book just seems another addition to the sub-genre about possible bad seeds. The ending is not a surprise because the opening gives so many clues. The scenes involving Gemma reminded me of scenes in The Wives by Tarryn Fisher.

There seems to be a lot of hype around the novel, but I was disappointed. Other than its examination of motherhood, it offers little that is original.

An awesome debut novel! Thrilling and suspenseful. This book was hard to put down. Highly recommended!