𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐣𝐨𝐤𝐞.

Danielle Geller’s Navajo mother, Laureen “Tweety” Lee, spent the last six months of her life homeless in Florida, six months that mother and daughter didn’t speak to each other, and then Danielle was called to her mother’s bedside as she lay dying. How can she confront her emotions, when her mother no longer has breath to answer for the past? So much about her mother’s life is either fiction or a mystery. Geller’s own mind has holes to fall through, too young to remember and the things she does recall are questionable. Her mother’s ill health and death was preventable, but what caused the slow kill? Was every choice hers alone, are others to blame?

Her inheritance is her mother’s lone suitcase and it’s contents. Letters, photographs, some junk, just evidence of ‘entire lives lived apart’ from Danielle and her sister Eileen. Diaries as far back as 1987, confessions and reflections that just make her feel sad for her mother. Trained as a librarian and archivist, it is these skills that will provide Danielle the guidance in tracking her mother’s past. Is she ready for answers to the harder questions?

Family has been both the hope and the hurt in her heart. Growing up taught Danielle to be silent, stoic as the adults couldn’t keep their own lives contained. Shamed by the illogical, cruel behavior of her father, a man who never listened, who told big lies, contradictions, who made others suffer as much as himself with his addiction to alcohol, his violence against women, all of it distorted reality. Humor became the means to twist her sorrow, longing for the mother who abandoned them and was as impossible to hold on to as the wind. “Tweety’s” visits were infrequent surprises, the keeper of their Navajo roots, it was she who could teach her daughters about their origins, about the reservation and family she chose to flee at nineteen. Until her mother’s death, she remembered only visiting the reservation once when she was three. All she has to rely on are her mother’s memories, which aren’t many. Returning as an adult, the partying, drinking, and neglect is a stark reminder of her own mother’s choices. That her mother lived between two worlds, still holding tight to the superstitions and rituals of her people, is easier to dissect once Danielle is among her mother’s tribe. It is enlightening, the rituals, prayers that are a part of their people, things Danielle and her sister barely comprehended in their youth especially with their mother lighting on important things like a butterfly, never present long enough to teach them anything, having another child, going through men, in and out contact. During adolescence, their father goes through women as much as their mother shakes off men, unable to make a relationship last for long, jobs just as fleeting. It’s no wonder Danielle and her sister Eileen’s bond is weak, that as they grew up the distance between them widened, nor is it a mystery that Eileen is just as lost, restless.

With her father and sister both addicts, in and out correctional institutions, their needs are like a violence, and ties she cannot sever. Somehow she is always in the middle, having to chose, love measured by whose side she is on. All this while trying to understand her mother, and heal from the wounds of her own damaging childhood. It’s a painful read about one mother’s slippery past- heartbreaking and honest. Not everyone who runs away from an abusive upbringing escapes, sadly this was Laureen Lee’s truth. Children are always the causalities, it is a vicious cycle. What will Danielle do with everything she learns? At times it’s a disjointed read but in a sense it lends credit to the scattered history Danielle herself must sort through.

Publication Date: January 12, 2021

Random House

One World

I also feel that the publisher's description doesn't exactly match what this memoir is actually about--I thought that this would delve more into her family's history and life on the reservation than it did. Geller is a talented writer; very intimate, raw, and revealing. There are descriptions of child sexual abuse and alcoholism that sensitive readers should be aware of.

As for the descriptions of the photos: Geller is using her archival education to describe the photos, I believe.

Many thanks to Random House and NetGalley for a digital review copy in exchange for an honest. review.

This was a sad, tough story, yet somehow the style it was written in felt detached. I feel like a tough read like this needs to go with writing that somehow purges or shows some catharsis, Even the pictures were labeled in a way that felt distant even though the author is conveying her own story. The narration was a recount of event with footnotes that felt very academic, but not personal. I want to give this one another go because it's such a personal story that Danielle Geller is sharing (even the form didn't feel personal), but for now I will take a break and come back to it later, see if it feels different with some distance.

I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Dog Flowers by Danielle Geller. The memoir touches on a lot of subjects - poverty, neglect, alcohol use, homelessness, and abuse.... and it is disheartening and hard hitting sometimes.

The story itself is emotional, but the storytelling - not so much! It seemed like a straight narration of events with sometimes confusing timelines- but I wasn't able to really figure out what the author was FEELING during these events, or what the consequences of these events were on her life.

A heartfelt memoir...

I received an advanced reading copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
#DogFlowers #NetGalley

I wanted to love this one unfortunately it fell a little flat. The authors story was tragic and full of hardship but the story was told a little drawn out and it got a little repetitive and sometimes a little boring. It needs to be edited down so the reader doesn't forget what the point is.

I wanted to like this book, but it seemed as if it really lacked narrative. Since I am struggling to find a way to say this in any other manner, it's almost as if I was reading a rough draft that still needed heavy workshopping and a dedicated editor that could form this into more of a connected read. I sincerely hope this is the case.

I hate leaving reviews like this, but NetGalley offers these to us in exchange for honest reviews, and so here we are. There was so very little of the author herself in this book to connect to, just an endless series of trainwrecks involving drunk or drugged relatives, people entering the author's life only to never be mentioned again, a random series of apartments, a total lack of connection to anyone or anything around her, really, other than a cat or the brief mentions of enjoying birdwatching (it seems as if there could be some deeper meaning built into this, but...) Perhaps, that too was the point - that growing up like this meant becoming an adult who has difficulty making connections? I don't know. But given this, this is what I was left with.

To conclude (both this review and the book itself) it seems as if it just wrapped itself up in a manner of seconds, with a bewildering marriage to some strange and unknown person she had just met on the internet and a brief meeting with some Navajo weavers who, as with every other mildly healthy interaction made in this book, offered a brief glimpse into the possibility of a healthy family life. I'm left, once again, wondering what the point of an MFA is anymore.

Unfortunately this one fell flat for me. I felt like it was a lot of narrative with a little substance. While the author's story is tragic and her life has been full of hardship, i didn't feel there was great resolution or anything that wrapped this up into a memoir format. Some parts were so drawn out with loads of detail and prose that I forgot what the original "point" was.

This book was interesting. It took me a while to get into it. I enjoyed it more in the end.

I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own

Sad but well-written memoir about a childhood marked by poverty, neglect, alcohol use, homelessness, and abuse. I enjoyed her writing about her experiences growing up between two words,

This book was just not for me. However, this is more the fault of my own expectations and the way the blurb and publicity was written rather than the author's. I just went in with a different idea of what the book was going to be - thinking more like Educated, finding resolution and moving past the past, but to be fair I knew nothing of Geller's struggles before opening the book, and her childhood sounds like a nightmare of abuse that has continued into her future as she tries to distance herself from the multiple addicts in her family.

I have difficulty rating the book as I do not want to imply that I am critiquing Geller's life, the subject of the book, just her writing. My issue was with the fact that the blurb I read mentioned that the author is focusing on the past and her mother and she does, but she also doesn't. There are large portions about her even more abusive life with her father and his series of girlfriends that don't involve her mother, there are sections about the author's boyfriends and other family members and the only person who felt like a mother to her, a girlfriend of her father presumed to have died homeless in the woods. There is a theme for the last third of the book where Geller finds solace in bird watching and notes the birds that show up in different points of her life. This could have been developed into an overarching theme throughout that I think would have worked better and highlighted the author's personality throughout. But overall I felt a bit lost jumping from chapter to chapter, different memories, trying to figure out what time period she was discussing, etc. And, as someone mentioned, it was very honest, but very depressing and had to be read in spurts. Wish I could rate it higher, but just wasn't the type of book I enjoy despite admiring the author's resilience.

Disclaimer: I received an ARC of this book from the publisher on Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Title: Dog Flowers

Author: Danielle Geller

When the author's mother dies, she cleans a bunch of old things from her mom's house, including her old diaries and photos. She decides to find the family she never met on a Navajo reservation. As she is dealing with these things, she also worries about her alcoholic father and sister who is in and out of town (and jail).

I liked this book as it was, but it was not how it was presented. I thought that the book was primarily going to be about the mother's history, and that a signifincant portion would be what the daughter learned on the rez. We would learn more about her and her choices as her daughter went through her things. Instead, it was almost entirely about the daughter's life: scenes from her childhood and interactions with a mother who was sometimes there and sometimes not, dealing with her father and sister in the aftermath of the mother's death, and continuing to her finding her extended family and meeting them (and a bit beyond). This was still interesting to read, but if you are interested in the mother's story from the blurb, you won't find much here except a few lines from her diary, photos, and some remembered interaction with the daughter.

3 stars

I was given an ARC of this book in exchange for this honest review

A powerful, emotional and sad memoir that is surprisingly readable and will keep you riveted. Danielle Geller shares her life from childhood to young adulthood in a quiet, honest manner. Throughout her life she is both burdened and blessed by her family- her immediate family and her extended Navajo family.

When she imagines her life, she sees herself in the desert, walking and observing nature, but always alone. That is how this book is written- as if you are walking along silently by the author, seeing what she sees, feeling what she feels.
The Navajo part of her life gives her strength and beauty so that she is able to survive the constant drug and alcohol abuse by her family.

Her life of pain is quite sad, and I hope that she continues to walk and watch her life unfold in the way that she wants. The meaning of the title is revealed in the book- a way to see the positive where others might see a mess.

I received an advance digital review copy from NetGalley and Random House Publishing Group. This is my honest review.

Thank you Netgalley for the opportunity to read this interesting memoir. I appreciated the raw intimacy the author shared of a culture and her life.

Danielle writes in this memoir about her difficult childhood as a minority child, with an alcoholic and absent mother and an abusive father. It is not a pleasant read in spite of Danielle’s resilience and her healing after the death of her mother while she searches for the family past in a Native American reserve. The tone is honest and raw, making this story tragic and real.

What a memoir - wow - the author makes you so much feel like you’re with her through all of it. I definitely learned a lot from this book, and definitely feel more educated from it - great read!

Dog Flowers is an interesting memoir that dives into the life of a young woman as she discovers herself. Danielle Geller speaks candidly about her experiences as a native growing up between two worlds. Her story takes us across America and through time, giving us glimpses into her life and aspirations. The multiple pictures and candid depictions pulled us in, making every time we picked this book back up to read, just like a visit with an old friend.

In Dog Flowers, Geller, a Native American, has written about her tough upbringing in an alcoholic household where poverty, neglect, alcohol, homelessness and abuse were all too familiar. Her life is difficult and she watches as the lives of her father, mother and sister fall into despair.

Geller goes to her mother's bedside as she lay in the hospital dying from alcohol withdrawal. After her passing, she reconnects with her mother and learns more about her life through the few belongings, letters and diaries she left behind. She eventually visits the reservation where her mother grew up and reconnects with extended family.

Written with emotion and honesty, Geller herself appears lost until at the end of her story she meets her husband and moves to Canada to live. Dog Flowers is definitely a story of resilience as Geller was able to move away from the destructiveness that consumed her family and live a different and healthier life.

"My words feel inadequate. I had never felt that kind of love, but I had never learned how to write about happiness."

This is a very powerful book that tackles important topics such as family and identity in a poignant way. It is a meditation on the strength to choose your own path while coming to terms with a complex heritage and fighting the temptation to get sucked into the ongoing destructive cycle that has already claimed so many loved ones.

Geller’s writing is very unique in that it feels so factual and convincing, and at the same time deeply intimate and raw. The book is cleverly structured, with the backbone of the story unfolding in near-chronological order and the spotlight returning on important events in flashbacks. The archival documents, cards, journal entries, and photographs are inserted at just the right places to flesh out the story. I particularly enjoyed the instances where she compares her memory of an event with the respective entry in her mother’s journal.

The memoir is a masterclass in researching, reconstructing, remembering an entire life. Geller’s ability to write and tell a story and her varying confidence in her writing reflect her state of mind during the different periods she talks about. Those statements invite research into writing as therapy and as a way of coping with the weight of life, the weight of the suitcase with the belongings of Geller’s mother, the weight of a heritage that has to be understood and embraced. The descriptions of the Navajo reservation and Geller’s efforts to learn, understand, and connect make for some of the most compelling parts of the memoir.

There is a great honesty in this kind of writing that makes the reader seem almost like an intruder in somebody else’s life. It can be an overwhelming feeling, but it means that the author has done a great job of immersing us into the story, so much so that we seem to tag along on the long drives, curl up on couches between life decisions, feel the disgust when Geller’s father shows up drunk yet again, and shiver at the immense isolation that must have pushed her mother into her downward spiral.

It is by no means an easy book to read, and it can’t have been easy to write either, but it’s truly beautifully written and well worth the emotional investment.

A moving memoir. Dismal and a bit dark, but very open and honest. Hard to say I enjoyed it per se but well written.

Danielle’s childhood was difficult as many in her family were alcoholics or drug addicts. After her mother died due to alcoholism, Danielle realised she knew next to nothing about her family or her Native American heritage. So she researches and sets out on a journey to find out more. I have always been interested in learning more about this culture and Danielle brought it all to life. Heartbreaking yet heartwarming, I highly recommend this book.
I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.