Nina is in her early thirties, a successful food writer living in London. She’s got just one single friend left, Lola, and everyone else is married and starting families. She caves to pressure and downloads a dating app called Linx. The line-up of potential mates is uninspiring to say the least – as Nina remarks dryly, ‘Every man looked exactly the same: ‘Tom, 24, atheist, London, likes: reading, sleeping, eating travel’ – it reminded me of the Biology GCSE syllabus and being taught what living organisms need: ‘movement, respiration, reproduction, nutrition, excretion.’

But it’s not too long before she meets the charming and beguiling Max, an accountant (a job he hates) with a love of the outdoors and a yearning to see the world (yawn?). They hit it off, and things are going swimmingly. Until – not a spoiler – he vanishes.

‘Max wanted to be tortured, he wanted to yearn and chase and dream. He wanted to exist in a liminal state, like everything was just about to begin.’

So this is a story about being ghosted in the modern, dating sense, the term that appeared to give a name to that depressing phenomenon of potential or current dates disappearing off the face of the earth with no explanation. But it’s not just about that: the ghosts here are also the slowly vanishing friendships, once held dear but splintered by a move to the suburbs, screaming toddlers and a picture-perfect Instagram life. Nina struggles to connect with her best friend who’s determined to act like someone who has it all, while similarly seeing Nina’s life choices as a direct attack on her own.

The ghosts are also those of the past, made even more astute by the fact that Nina’s father is suffering from Dementia. As she watches him slowly grow more distanced from the person he was, she grapples with the feelings of responsibility, loss and sadness, amidst a fracturing relationship with her mum. There are tender and insightful layers of nostalgia as Nina returns to the place she grew up, the air thick with memory.

‘When I was in Pinner, I could be seventeen again, just for a day. I could pretend that my world was myopic and my choices meaningless and the possibilities that were ahead of me were wide open and boundless.’

‘They arrive in their new navy car. It’s already been fitted with a seat for the baby. One day that baby will sit on a bench, wondering if that navy car is scrap metal somewhere, wishing it could come collect them.’

Dolly Alderton’s debut novel is heartfelt, relatable and true. It’s also funny in that witty and astute way that anyone who has read Dolly’s autobiography, Everything I Know About Love, or listened to The High Low podcast will know well.

‘You just have to trust me when I say: you shall not pass.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You shall not pass,’ she repeated sagely, giving me a gentle smile.
‘Pass where?’
‘It’s a phrase my mum always used to say to me when I was sad. It means: this will end at some point, then you’ll be happy again.’
‘This too shall pass.’
‘Yes, exactly, it will.’
‘No, that’s what you’re meant to say.’
‘Is it? Why do I know the proverb “you shall not pass”?’
‘It’s not a proverb, it’s what Gandalf says in Lord of the Rings.’

It's a totally absorbing read, one that will particularly resonate with anyone in their twenties or thirties going through similar transitions. But it's also lovely in its universality and the themes of steadfast friendship, courage, change and hope.

****

With thanks to the publisher for the advanced copy. Ghosts will be published in October 2020.

This would not normally be my sort of thing, however every so often a contemporary woman's fiction type story will grab me and grab me hard. Ghosts was just such a book. Funny, wise and sharp, exploring perspectives on being female and how the world sees you. Highly recommend.

I loved this. Dolly Alderton talks about life, loss, dating and friendship in such a touching, humorous way that you can't help but get invested in the storyline! The characters feel perfectly flawed and fully fleshed out. Can't wait to trash talk Max when everyone's read this book!

Ghosts by Dolly Alderton is about a woman dealing with the challenges of dating, evolving friendships and caring for a parent with dementia.

This is genuinely excellent. There are lots of books with similar themes to this around that are just fine, but this is really sharply written and observed, by turns funny and heartbreaking, very compelling and readable. I raced through it in a day and I'm sorry it's finished.

Really enjoyable book, not too heavy whilst content rich. Definitely one that leaves you wondering what happened next...

Well, I will start honestly this isn't the sort of book I normally read. I'm trying to broaden myself. For me this book was ok. It would be a good holiday read. I thought the cover was fantastic I will give it 4 stars thank you Dolly Alderton and thank you Netgalley for allowing me to review it.

I received an ARC of this book via Fig Tree and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Description

32-year-old Nina Dean is a successful food writer with a loyal online following, but a life that is falling apart. When she uses dating apps for the first time, she becomes a victim of ghosting, and by the most beguiling of men. Her beloved dad is vanishing in slow motion into dementia, and she’s starting to think about ageing and the gendered double-standard of the biological clock. On top of this she has to deal with her mother’s desire for a mid-life makeover and the fact that all her friends seem to be slipping away from her . . .

My thoughts

I gave into the hype and read Everything I Know About Love last year, soon establishing that it deserved to be the answer to the question anyone that likes books and reading absolutely despises: what’s your favourite book? From the first page of that book, I was captivated. Alderton has a talent for grabbing your attention from Page One and it was definitely the same with Ghosts.

Nina, the main character, appears to have things under control: successful career, lovely friends, a roof over her head. Except, as the narrative unfolds, you begin to see that for Nina – as well as the collection of friends and family she introduces along the way – that couldn’t be further from the truth.

I was absolutely obsessed with Nina as a character. She was funny, honest, raw. Even though I did have a few moments when I cringed or questioned what she was saying or doing, I couldn’t help but feel like she wasn’t a character on a page but somebody I could very easily have passed on the street or bonded over something in a club’s toilet.

I also really liked the secondary characters, from Nina’s friend Lola to her sweet, but slowly deteriorating, father. I loved how they complimented Nina’s character or, alternatively, how they changed and influenced the way she thought.

As someone who taps in and out of the dating world like a middle aged woman on Candy Crush (other games are available), I completely resonated with Nina’s thoughts, feelings and opinions. Alderton is definitely correct about the kinds of people you see on the apps – at any age or any stage of your life – as is she about how connecting with people on dating apps is exhilarating, a little bit awkward and – when it fizzles out, in whatever strange term somebody writing for a women’s magazine will describe it (breadcrumbing, ghosting, whatever else) – it messes with your head, your heart, your everything.

Sometimes navigating the world we live in, and somehow going from the child watching Disney Channel after school to the young adult woman who knows the complete list of winners of The Great British Bake Off but hasn’t mastered the home of their own, steady full time work and loving partner bit, is scary. I’m so glad that Alderton is able to put into words what I, and I don’t doubt many other people, feel.

Ghosts isn’t just a book about the crazy world of dating apps. It’s a book about changing friendships, ageing and how people hold on to places, things and people- sometimes without even realising.

As with her first book, this one affected me from the first sentence on the first page to the very end. I’m not sure if people will feel the same as I do about this book but one thing I am sure about is that I won’t be forgetting it any time soon.

Ghosts will be published on 15th October 2020.

Dolly Alderton describing life, friendships and dating in your 30s with perfection 🙌

Meet Nina, a 32 years old food writer who is recently single and turns to using a dating app. She becomes a victim of ghosting, as Max goes MIA the morning after saying he loves her. Her dad is living with Dementia and her mum is going through a midlife makeover, and her friendships are different now that her friends are reaching big milestones.

Any online dater will find 'Ghosts' relatable, and be ready to be reminded of the horrors and laughs that come with it through both Nina's experience and that of her best friend Lola, a serial dater madly searching for happy ending.

Thanks for the early copy via Netgalley, so happy to read more of Dolly's writing and can't wait to tell every friend to read this!!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I cannot say enough positive things about this book. I love her style of writing so much that I inhaled it in a few hours. So relatable, made me laugh out loud and cry in the space of an hour. I couldn't recommend it more.

I wasn't sure what to expect from this novel, other than a story about being Ghosted. However, whilst Alderton tackles this in terms of dating, her narrative tackles a host of various other ways to be ghosted. Whilst themed around dating in your 30's, Alderton also explores what it's like to be 'the single friend', whilst everyone else is getting married, engaged, or having children. Protagonist Nina is not only ghosted by men, but ghosted by past idyllic friendships that no longer have space for her lifestyle as it does not match their own. A third heartbreaking plot within this novel centres around Dementia. We see how Nina struggles with her fathers declining condition, whilst her and her mother struggle to come to grips with a man who is slowly drifting away.

I loved Nina, a no frills get shit done kind of girl, with an entirely relatable group of friends. As a girl in my mid-twenties I found a plethora of laughably relatable content, as well as lots problems I'm yet to encounter but I know are on my horizon! Anyone out there who has dabbled with online dating apps (all millennial readers?) will empathise with Nina (and best friend Lolas) online dating ventures.

Alderton is a master at including small details, and in my opinion are what make her writing so enjoyable to read. I often found the use of these moments transportive, evoking a memory or sense of nostalgia which had a similar effect to a cutscene in film or TV. As well as stirring these evocative moments, they really add personality to her characters, bringing them to life. She highlights day to day humour in the mundane, and so many sentences took me by surprise by making me laugh out loud (yes, actually), such as 'Chronic Mentionitis' - where the sufferer cannot stop talking about their new lover in every single conversation.

It's safe to say I enjoyed Dolly's debut, and genuinely can't think of a bad thing to say about it! I can't wait to discuss Max once everyone has read this..
Thankyou to NetGalley for providing this e-ARC

Dolly captured perfectly what it's like to be past 30 without all the requisite milestones- mainly marriage and kids and how it feels to remain true to yourself while navigating that pressure. The book read very memoir like but in a way, that made it more compelling. The characters weren't perfect and the relationships in the book weren't either, and they felt more real for that. I found myself glancing at the percentage marker, hoping I still had more t go and wasn't coming to the end of the book. Sadly, I was, and did. I feel like I got a glimpse of a very real person and all their baggage.

I loved Dolly's memoir, Everything I Know About Love, and this novel is just as good! Framed as a search for love, the story is so much more than chick-lit. It's extremely funny, as you'd expect from Dolly, but also explores relationships with family, friends and partners at a much deeper level. I was moved to tears by the depiction of a family member with dementia. The changing face of friendship as your paths diverge was also very thought-provoking.

Thank you for allowing me to discover such a good new author for my repertoire! Great plot line, interesting characters, I will recommend to friends and family.

Ghosts is heart-wrenching and hilarious in equal measure, exactly what one would expect from a Dolly Alderton read. The relationships she describes (be they romantic, friendly, platonic, familial) feel so tangible and on-the-nose, like someone's crawled into your brain and put your exact thoughts about a best friend or new love interest into perfect, eloquent words. Would wholeheartedly recommend to fans of Everything I Know About Love.

Love, love, LOVE everything Dolly writes! After finding myself single at 42, for the first time in 20 years (!) I found this foray into the dating world riveting and entirely relatable! Nina is incredible. Genuine, insightful, contemplative and brilliant. I want to be her friend! I can totally empathise with everything she is feeling and Dolly writes in such a way that you feel like you're just having a chat with your mate. More books please Dolly!

Thank you to Netflix and the publisher for the advanced copy. I feel very lucky!

What a brilliant light read and as a single woman in her early 40's very relatable haha. Love everything about Dolly Alderton

If you are a fan of Dolly Alderton’s work already, you will love this novel. If this is your first experience of reading Dolly Alderton’s writing, then you are in for a treat. She has a unique voice and uses it throughout this story about Nina, a food writer in her early 30’s who has decided she is ready to start dating again. This novel is a perfectly observed snapshot of living in London in your early 30’s - it is funny, relatable, entertaining and authentic. Ghosts deals with the high and lows of dating and falling in love. When describing the early days of dating with a new partner she says that they were “sexed up to saturation point, therefore trying out the novelty of being humdrum” which I thought was sheer perfection. The novel also explores the realities of changing friendship dynamics, endless weddings/hen parties/naming ceremonies, how your peer group changes and the challenges of dealing with ill-health of parents. There were so many lines I savoured and it is all underpinned by genuine, relatable experiences - while reading this I felt outraged and indignant on Nina’s behalf, I agreed wholeheartedly with her on so many points, I felt at times she was being overly harsh and I genuinely worried for her at other points just like you would with a real friend. I couldn’t put it down. I loved it.

Dolly Alderton is fantastic! I love her work and have been eagerly awaiting this novel... she did not disappoint!

This was an emotional rollercoaster. I love Dolly’s raw, authentic way of describing feelings and life. I was worried that this could have been a fiction memoir of ghosting stories but it’s so much more than that.

I have so much highlighted but on the theme of ghosting, this needs a PSA: “You know, every time you “change your mind” in such an extreme way, it takes something from a woman. It’s an act of theft. It’s not just a theft of her trust, it’s a theft of her time. You’ve taken things from her, so you could have a fun few months.“ People changing their minds/feelings so quickly, or just not communicating it [enough] are the one thing that I do not understand and this articulates it.

Also “I’ve found everything really difficult recently. And I can’t work out if this is just a tricky period or whether this is what adulthood is now – disappointment and worry.” “I’m worried I’m not going to live the life I always thought I’d have. I’m worried I have to come up with a new plan.” sums up my current mood.