Member Reviews
The Other Mothers talks about infertility and pregnancy from a unique perspective: Jenn and her wife Kellie want a baby, but where do they obtain the necessary sperm? Jenn describes their and her experience since she was the one who would carry the baby and get inseminated. They couple tries different avenues and is very candid with the successes, failures, and the complications of every choice they made. I read this book with great interest. The traditional nuclear family has expanded to incorporate all different types of definitions of what constitutes a family. It’s an enlightening read, delving onto a gay couple’s path to parenthood.
This is an absolutely beautiful memoir of motherhood. Jenn takes her readers on a journey, along with her partner Kellie, which involves doctors, acupuncturists, a catalog of potential donors, and the friend who helped them to conceive their 2 children Jenn and Kellie live what seems to be an idyllic life, working jobs they enjoy, building a community of friends, and also building a small cabin on a plot of land they own together. Jenn describes mornings where they would lay together in bed, or quietly sip coffee and read side by side. This scene was the background for many conversations on if they should become parents; when they should become parents; how they would become parents. Jenn's story is commonplace: she details the way that sperm banks, infertility treatments, etc. do not focus on the needs of lesbian couples. Even the route of adoption brings many barriers for same-sex couples seeking to become parents. My heart ached alongside Jenn and Kellie at they experienced failures, spent their savings, and faced rejections throughout their quest of parenthood. I highly recommend this memoir.
In return for my honest review, I was provided a free advance copy of this title.
So informative, and very NOW, especially for me, I’m married and my husband and I have been discussing children, and to actually have Netgalley give me this amazing opportunity to read this book, and its full of amazing information that is helpful and also brings up topics of discussion that I never knew was really discussed in the LGBTQ community? Especially if they want to have kids, and the things they go through, and how hard it is for them? I was in awe. I learned so much from reading this book, I keep reading amazing memoirs and when this book launches I will be purchasing and adding it to my bookshelf. Thank you also to the publishers for giving me the opportunity to read this book.
Jennifer Berney writes an excellent memoir on her struggles with her wife to have a child. At first Jennifer and her wife aren't interested in having children but after some time together they decide to expand their family. Like other married couples, their path through fertility treatments is not a straight one. In addition to having to deal with all the medical issues involved with IVF, they have many more hurdles to overcome. As a lesbian couple they have added complications of physicians who don't know how to handle their family structure and legal complications that a straight couple would never even think of. I don't read much LGBTQ fiction or nonfiction. I found this book especially enlightening and well-written. Berney has done an outstanding job of pointing out how both the medical and legal realms will need to evolve so that they can accommodate all kinds of 21st century families. I strongly recommend this book.
A powerful story of love and tenacity and a good close look at how our heteronormative culture makes women's lives difficult.
The Other Mothers creates a unique perspective of motherhood and the cultural and scientific pieces that fit into a non-traditional family structure (ie not a cis man and cis woman), all within the framework of a well-written memoir. Jennifer Berney is able to bring readers on a journey throughout her life, recognizing she may not be like other people who are straight and then beginning down the path of motherhood, fraught with challenges as that is for a cis lesbian woman with fertility issues. This is definitely one of my new favorite memoirs.
I was blown away by this striking memoir of a couple’s experience with conceiving. The author expertly crafted her story with historical facts and scientific research so you could get a complete understanding of the social backstory impacting her own. I was also drawn to this story as it takes place in the PNW where I am from and returned to as an adult. It was emotional, but informative and not always surprising, to read about the systems that create poor care for lgbtq couples and how that directly impacted their quest for a family. Despite that, this book is inspiring and full of love: from the community, their family, and each other.
I really enjoyed this well written and researched memoir about a woman's desire to have a family, and what she went through to make it happen. I found myself compelled to finish, and to know what would happen for Jenn and Kelly. I deeply appreciated the zoomed out perspective on how the issues and discussions they experienced applied to other couples, both queer and straight.
A wonderful memoir Jennifer’s search to start a family with Kelly their a lesbian couple who desire to have children.This is a warm lovely look at their lives their friends and the path they travel,Highly recommend,#netgalley#sourceboojs
I picked up Jennifer Berney’s lovely memoir and did not put it down until I finished the book. Jennifer shares the story of her quest to build a family with her partner, Kellie. They find a community of family and friends. They face the challenges of having children as a lesbian
couple. Many in the medical profession are insensitive to their unique needs. This memoir is warm and honest. Thanks to Net Galley for the ARC this book.
#TheOtherMothers #JenniferBerney #netgalley
This was such a beautiful, interesting and informative memoir. It was beautiful in the way the author explained her story. She began her story as a young girl sitting in her 5th grade Quaker classroom listening to two guest speakers, both gay, discuss sexuality and realizing she might be different. From then the author described finding the love of her life when she was twenty three and Kellie was about eleven years her senior. After finding her forever love, the author took her reader on a heartwarming and heartbreaking journey through the many decisions made in order to have a child with her partner. It was interesting and informative by the way the author explained in detail her two year journey to conceive both from a medical standpoint and on a personal level. Jenny also had to constantly explain there was no husband in the picture and the person who accompanied her was not her mother, but partner. Some of the doctors and staff the author encountered on this journey were not very receptive to her while a very select few actually listened to her worries and took her issues seriously. Aside from these few people, it was also the kindness of acquaintances who later became close friends that helped Jenny and her wife Kellie make their dreams of becoming parents a reality.
I loved how the author explained her journey but also included some well researched background history with such topics as sperm banks and its patriarchal history and the legal complications of same sex parents. This was a well written memoir and highly recommended especially for women facing similar situations with or without a partner.
I really enjoyed this book which tells the story of Jennifer and her Wife Kellie and the journey the take into motherhood.
I really enjoyed this book and would give it 4 out of 5 stars, with thanks to Netgalley & Sourcebooks for the arc of this book in exchange for this honest review.
So touching to know at the end the kids get to see and know each other. I loved this book!
Thanks to author, publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book. While I got the book for free, it had no bearing on the rating I gave it.
Author Jennifer Berney gives us an honest, tender, and powerful account of her often fraught road to motherhood as a queer woman. Jennifer and her wife Kellie want to start a family, and they soon learn that sadly, much of the medical community isn’t equipped for a queer couple. Jennifer is misdiagnosed, often dismissed, and at one point during a visit to a fertility clinic, Kellie is listed as having “experiencing male infertility”. Treatments such as IVF are no doubt difficult for any couple, but it’s made even harder through what Jennifer and Kellie experience. Jennifer also explores motherhood as a whole, tracing its historical roots and what it really means to be a family, unconventional means of bringing a baby into the world, and how often straight women are favored as a whole in society.
My heart often broke hearing Jennifer’s story, and my blood would boil too each time a doctor treated her unfairly. I have read many memoirs about motherhood and I loved how unflinchingly honest and tender this one was. It really opened my eyes to a different type of experience.
There is something warm and endearing yet intelligent about Jennifer Berney's voice. This book feels tender, honest and yet straight-forward. It masterfully weaves together her experience trying to get pregnant with interesting details about the history of "test tube babies," IVF and the whole world of fertility treatments. Woven in are powerful observations about herteronormativity and homophobia. I don't have kids, but I have undergone "alternative" inseminations while married to a woman, so a lot of this I related to. But you don't have to have that life experience to appreciate this book.
Favorite quote:
"I thought of my grandmothers, whom I knew, and the great-grandmothers whom I had never met, grandmothers who may never have approved of my life as it was but who forged a path all the same. I thought of of all of them, before me, bearing children. I thought of their fears and imagined them alone in those fears, their husbands off at the bar, or off at sea, or sleeping beside the, likely unaware that women had worries of substance. Something about the thought of them, their worries and their lives, the fact thatthey had carried on and made it to the end and then departed, entering the realm of air and light--something about this was a comfort to me, bigger than the shape of my own fears."
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC of this wonderful book.
This was different read for me. But I enjoyed.
This was cute and heart warming read.
3 stars for me.