In "Rethink Your Self" written by Trevin Wax, a powerful exploration of identity, meaning, and purpose unfolds. The book's core message is that our culture's approach to self-identity often leads to confusion and dissatisfaction. Wax contends that genuine fulfillment comes not from seeking self-expression above all, but from embracing a deeper understanding of who we are in light of our relationships, history, and Creator. Through engaging storytelling and relatable examples, Wax encourages readers to look beyond the prevailing trends and instead discover a more rooted and meaningful sense of self.

As I journeyed through the pages of this book, I gained valuable insights into how society's emphasis on self-discovery can sometimes lead to a fragmented and shallow understanding of identity. Wax effectively shows how true self-discovery requires looking beyond our own desires and considering the broader context of our lives. The book provides practical wisdom on how to find purpose by connecting with our history, our communities, and our spiritual beliefs. It made me realize the importance of seeking a balanced identity that takes into account both individual uniqueness and the timeless truths that anchor our lives.

"Rethink Your Self" is a must-read for anyone grappling with questions about who they are and where their worth comes from. If you've ever felt pressured to conform to society's definition of success or struggled with the challenges of forming a solid sense of self in an ever-changing world, this book offers a refreshing perspective. Both young adults seeking direction and older individuals reevaluating their life paths will find valuable guidance in Wax's thoughtful examination of identity. The book's simple language and relatable examples make it accessible to a wide range of readers. Through Wax's insights, readers can embark on a journey of rediscovery and find a more fulfilling and authentic sense of self.

Trevin Wax has such a great writing style: deep yet easy to read and nice prose and practical for anyone. In this book, his main premise is to not begin from the starting point of one’s self but instead to look toward God and begin from there. As surely anyone will tell you, trusting in yourself, abilities, mindset, resources, etc., is a losing proposition because eventually one’s abilities and resources run out. But when people run out… God can run in! Do yourself a favor and read this book and start to look up instead of in. Thank you to B&H Publishing Group and Trevin Wax for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.

This is a must-read book for those who are dissatisfied with the status quo approach to life—be it religious or secular. Instead of relying on common sense slogans and ideas about following your heart or being one’s authentic self or even being a good, moral person, Wax suggests we need to rethink ourselves.

Our culture typically starts by looking inside ourselves to answer life’s biggest questions, then looking around for approval and recognition, and then—for some people—looking up to add a spiritual dimension to the purpose we’ve already decided for our lives. Instead, Wax suggests reversing the order, which would fundamentally change the way we define ourselves, determine our desires, and display our identity. Looking up begins with God’s self-revelation, not our culture’s common sense assumptions.

Wax writes, “In a ‘look in’ world, the idea that we’d be required to conform to nature, or to a religious viewpoint, or to an outside source of morality feels constricting. You may feel like ‘looking up’ is just another way of stifling ‘the real you’ inside. When the Bible offers instruction about how to live, you may feel at first like you’re betraying your own identity. If you submit to a truth that comes from outside yourself, are you somehow failing to ‘live your truth’?

We’ve been conditioned to accept the ‘look in’ approach as the path of common sense. For this reason, when we first come into contact with the reality that God has claims on us, we shrink back. We feel like we’re giving up our freedom. It feels more natural, more comfortable, to look in first, then around, and finally up... But looking up first gets in the way of our self-definition and self-fulfillment, and that’s why we have an allergic reaction to it. But the Bible rejects the kind of looking up that comes only after you’ve looked in and around. It demands that we look up first.”

Think back to your high school graduation. What were the major messages there? “You can be anything you want to be!” “Stay true to yourself!” The *Oh, the Places You’ll Go!* message. If it was anything more substantial than that, you can count yourself blessed. As Trevin Wax mentions in his new book, Rethink Your Self, the message of the ceremony behind high school graduations might be the epitome of individualistic American culture, pushing the narrative of “You do you” to its limit. Wax calls this cultural ritual, “looking in”, which is so true of all aspects of our society. We are told to “look in” to see who we are, what we should do, how we should act. And no one else is to question our definition of ourselves, because they don’t have the authority to tell us we are doing anything wrong.
Trevin Wax skillfully broadens his audience in Rethink Your Self to include anyone who may have been let down by this self-reliant and self-focused culture. Later, he directs the reader to a biblical structure where one “looks up” before “looking in”: look to God for your purpose and identity, then let that shape your life. I loved that Wax chose to write to such an audience, because it is highly effective, and I pray that B&H Publishing can get this book in the hands of non-Christians who desperately need God and His purpose for their lives.
As I kept reading, however, I began to see that many in the church need this book as well. “Self-help” books have dominated the Christian book publishing industry for years, and these books specialize in the “look in” approach, then make sure to tell you to “look up” to get divine approval for your life plans. Don’t believe me? I’ll look up the best-selling Christian books of the last 5 years.
(Real-time internet search afoot.)
2019 — Girl, Wash Your Face, Rachel Hollis
2018 — Girl, Wash Your Face, Rachel Hollis
2017 — The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman
2016 — The Magnolia Story, Chip, and Joanna Gaines
2015 — Jesus Calling, Sarah Young
OK, that took longer than I thought, mainly because the Evangelical Christian Publishers Association (ECPA) website is not that great and doesn’t allow you to change the year on the bestseller list. Despite the trouble, I think this list is accurate. And let me start by saying I have nothing against a couple of these books. I think The 5 Love Languages is a helpful framework for couples as long as it is kept in perspective. And The Magnolia Story is perfectly good and should not be included as a “look in”-focused book. The other three absolutely are self-focused. The 5 Love Languages, even as I said I think it’s pretty helpful, is absolutely a “look in” book: learn more about yourself to better your life. I mean, in this case, it’s so that your partner can know about you, but only sometimes does it point up to how God sees you and defines you. Girl, Wash Your Face is the peak of self-focused Christian fare, and I have many more thoughts that I’ll keep to myself. And Jesus Calling, despite the title, focuses on one’s individual life and definitions, relying too much on personal revelation and not nearly enough on biblical revelation. It’s “look in” masquerading as “look up”.
But there is one more book that has not been the top seller in any year, but it has been in among the top sellers for a few years in a row, has had an even bigger influence on Christian culture than its bestselling status implies, and it encapsulates the “look in” approach to self-discovery: Ian Morgan Cron’s The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery. I have not read The Road Back to You, but I do know a lot about the Enneagram and have some second-hand knowledge of the themes of the book. The book description itself is helpful in gleaning its views:
What you don’t know about yourself can hurt you and your relationships — and even keep you in the shallows with God. Do you want help figuring out who you are and why you’re stuck in the same ruts? The Enneagram is an ancient personality typing system with an uncanny accuracy in describing how human beings are wired, both positively and negatively.
The message is simple, and it tracks with American culture: “look in” to learn who you are, then you can more easily “look up”.
Trevin Wax never mentions the Enneagram in his book, and I may be misrepresenting his views here. And, let me be clear, I don’t think the Enneagram by itself is a bad thing. (As a student and teacher of psychology, I have serious doubts about all personality tests. Not all psychologists would agree with my criticisms of them, but a lot would.) I think that if you are using the Enneagram to learn more about your personality and trying to improve where that may be causing you to fall short of God’s design, it can be useful. But there is something that people miss with all personality tests: they are based on your answers and your attempts to define yourself. What if you are wrong about who you are?
Wax is clear that God defines us, shapes us, guides us, and redeems us. He changes our desires into His desires. Wax writes:
What does the “look up” approach say about our desires? Here is where the project of rethinking our selves becomes challenging. Our hearts are full of conflicting desires, which is why the notion that you should just “follow your heart” doesn’t make sense. But the Bible doesn’t say we should never follow our hearts or pursue our desires; in fact, one of the psalms says that when we find out delight and joy in God, he will give us the desires of our heart.
But notice how that promise connects delight and desire. You may be thinking that the point of religion is to repress your desires, to stifle your feelings, and to ignore your deepest longings. Unfortunately, some churches and religious institutions have given that impression. But rightly understood, following Jesus is not the destruction of desire, but the development of better desire. You won’t change your life merely by repressing a desire, but by replacing it.
So why would I want to learn more about myself? God is in the business of changing it. Yes, I know, “personalities are static” and all that. And to some extent that can be true. But I am proof that God changes personalities and shapes them to reflect who he wants you to be. Yes, there is room for self-discovery in some sense of the word, but most important is the task of God-discovery. “Looking in” can come much, much later. The Christian bestseller lists don’t reflect that, and I pray that God will use the words of Trevin Wax and others to point our brothers and sisters in Christ “up” instead of “in”.
I received a review copy of Rethink Your Self courtesy of B&H Publishing with a special thanks to Jenaye White, but my opinions are my own.

Great Book! Trevin always writes so well! I look forward to seeing how his work impacts my ministry and the ministries of others! Thanks for a great read!

Trevin is a great author and this is a great book! In 2020 there has been quite a bit of to reflect and this book helps with that as well. Great job!

The world is hooked on 'self'. We all grapple with it. Everyday. As Wax highlights, so many of the messages we are indoctrinated with encourage us to look inward first to navigate one's life. We in the church have also caught the same bug.

Wax with a gentleness and compassionate leaning highlights the flaws in the industry of 'self'. This isn't just a book for the church; Wax's outlook and tone is one that all people can find this book useful. In essence, Wax spends the first half of the book identifying the flaws in the 'look in' and 'look around' approaches to life (the terms he uses) while challenging readers to adopt a 'look up' approach as an alternative.

The second half of the book then outlines how the 'look up' approach' differs and what new habits are required to transform one's thinking to such an approach in order that we can live a life that God has designed us to live.

It's a striking piece of writing and is an important contribution to the conversation around unmasking this cultural predisposition towards 'self'.

Highly recommended.

I received an early ebook copy from the publisher via NetGalley with no expectation of a favourable review.

I got a digital review copy of this book via NetGalley. Before i say anything, I would like to share that I am not a Christian. I am spiritually inclined.

I believe that that model that Trevin shares in the book about "Looking up, Looking around and Looking In" is a powerful approach to rethink our lives. The 4D (Definition, Display, Desires and Design) model for rethinking ourselves is also an interesting take on this process.

The author also brings in tales, anecdotes and quotes from the Bible and Christ's life to make his points.

The book is an interesting approach to Rethinking Yourself.

I received an advance readers copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

For Trevin Wax fans, this would likely be an exciting book. I thought it was a pleasant reading experience and I enjoyed it, but it didn’t feel particular innovative or like it provided new insights. Seems relatively basic overall, but again not unenjoyable!! Three stars.

This is fine. It is basic, and there have been other books that have done a more comprehensive job on this topic. Dont think this book is necessary.