I'll start by mentioning that I am not the target audience for this book, that audience being middle- to upper-class, young, white mothers. I have loved ones who are on the autism spectrum/are neurodiverse, so I enjoy reading more on the topic so that I can better interact with those people in my life. This book is written very much from a place of privilege. Baldocchi's family has access to a network of specialists and therapists to help in the learning and treatment of her child's condition, and they obviously have some kind of healthcare coverage or are financially privileged enough to pay for this care themselves. The author does mention the financial strain this puts on her family, but they are, indeed, able to book appointments and see these specialists. This book is very much about her and her experience caring for a child who is autistic. There were instances in the book where the narration moves her son's story to how she's dealing with it all and even an entire chapter where she talks about becoming a life coach. The big turn-off for me was when Baldocchi linked autism/neurodiversity to vaccines or medications that she might have taken during pregnancy or that were given to her child in infancy. There is even a chapter in this book that is written by her son in which he confirms that this is their belief. She claims to have done a lot of research but seems to have overlooked the overwhelmingly-concrete medical evidence that there is no link between the two. Throughout the book, there is an underlying theme of her trying to find some reason to blame for her son's condition, such as the vaccines or his diet. This doesn't align with the "Not Broken" storyline. You can't tell a child that they aren't broken and then search for a reason for why you think they are. As far as the technical aspect goes, while I was reading this book, there were quite a few times where I wondered how much editing had gone into it. There seemed to be no real formatting to the chapters. It was written much like a long-form blog post with lots of random quotes sprinkled about and very choppy writing. Some of the sentences, I had to read several times because they didn't make sense. There was a lack of syntax. Upon further investigation, it seems like this might have been a self-published book that originated from a blog. There are a few pages at the end where she plugs her blog on the same topic. The front matter of the book confirmed my thinking when her blog was listed alongside the publisher information. A quick Google search into this publisher led only to booksellers links to this book. *Advance copy provided by the publisher in exchange for my honest review.

I'm always looking for books to recommend to parents whose children have just been diagnosed with ASC (autistic spectrum condition), so it's great to see more of these books on the market. The trouble with this genre is the tendency of the parents to talk over the autistic child, which doesn't allow that child to self-advocate. This is, unfortunately, part and parcel of the process of writing a book about someone else, even if it's through one's own experiences. Equally, this is the problem with this book.

I would urge any parent whose child has recently been diagnosed with autism not to buy this book. The resources in the back are an issue in themselves, before I even get to the content of the book. Included in the resources is Autism Speaks, a charity which has for many years been warned against by the autistic community for various reasons. Here's a link to the AWN blog article which articulates why this is: https://awnnetwork.org/is-autism-speaks-a-hate-group/

What I did find interesting was that Caden, the child this book focuses on, gets a chapter to speak for himself. This, in theory, is amazing and a really powerful tool for him to self-advocate. However, this chapter absolutely broke my heart. He writes:

"Probably before I was born, my mom took some really bad medicine, or vaccines that might have made me Autistic or something. My mom told me they don't know exactly what causes Autism, but it could be the vaccines I got as a baby, and all the bad stuff that is now killing our planet."

What an absolutely heart-wrenching belief system. This is the point in the book where I started to really struggle. I work with lots of parents of autistic children, and as an autistic person myself I know that the world does enjoy reinforcing that Autism is something 'deficient'. However, I can't imagine how difficult it would be for a child like Caden to have been raised with the belief that his neurology, a part of who he is, is made up of 'all the bad stuff that is now killing our planet'. He speaks about how he struggles to make friends, because he's scared he'll give them Autism too.

This book is, if nothing else, an important lesson in the way we teach children to respect themselves. The self-proclaimed 'Autism Mom' who writes this book admits that she had Caden in ABA therapy (here's a link to my video on why that's a problem in itself: https://youtu.be/aWy1lEw7GN4 ) "eight hours a day, six days a week". Or, for context, a full time job. She writes "All Caden knows is to work, that is his life. He doesn't know any other way." a statement which should speak for itself.

All in all, I tried to focus this review as much on Caden as possible, because the book seems to do the opposite. It's difficult to be a parent to any child, and I'm very sympathetic to that. Like I say, I work with and advise parents of autistic children every single day, but this book rubbed me completely the wrong way. I should've learned my lesson: anyone who proclaims themselves an 'Autism Parent' who is, themselves, not autistic, should be looked at a little more closely. If you put your child through ABA to make them less autistic, then what identity does an 'Autism Parent' have left?

One plucky woman offers a glimpse into her world “as a mom with a son who has Autism and another who has a specific learning disorder.” Gut-level honest, Not Broken pulls no punches. It’s a bird’s eye view of what parenting a child with Autism is like, both the highs and the lows.

Early on, the author explains how she started writing for herself because it was therapeutic. Now she writes for other parents with special needs kids.

She outlines how “Autism” covers “a broad range of conditions.” Also:

- Paralysis de overwhelming-ness
- Don’t go it alone
- How and where to ask for help
- “Mainstreaming” vs. “inclusion”
- Lots of “I wish I knew then what I know now-isms”
- Celebrate the small things.
- What it’s like to battle “the system’ and reams of red tape
- The importance of fighting for your child and empowering yourself with knowledge and information
- Eating challenges and the gut-brain connection
- Oodles of different therapies and therapists
- Sensory issues and sensory processing
- Hypersensitivity vs. hyposensitivity and brain-to-muscle transmission
- When to say no
- Staying in the present

Not Broken is infused with hope and positivity within a context of reality. However, the narrative loses it way occasionally when the author starts rambling about themes and perspectives discussed in prior chapters. Redundant much? It also gets a bit shrill at times, which may turn-off some readers. Additionally, having the whole family of five chime in on the narration may make it a hard follow for some. It also strains credulity in places. (Incidentally, “money” is NOT “the root of all evil” – see chapter 7. The LOVE of money is. Hello, editor?)

Still a worthwhile read overall.

#NotBroken
#NetGalley