Title: Widowish
Author: Melissa Gould
Genre: Memoir
Rating: 3.75
Pub Date: February 21, 2021

I received a complimentary eARC from Little A via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. #Gifted #Ad

T H R E E • W O R D S

Vital • Heartfelt • Hopeful

📖 S Y N O P S I S

When Melissa Gould's husband, Joel, was unexpectedly hospitalized, she could not imagine how her life was about to change. Overwhelmed with uncertainty as Joel's condition tragically worsened, she offered him the only thing she could: her love and devotion. Her dedication didn't end with his death.

Left to resume life without her beloved husband and raise their young daughter on her own, Melissa soon realized that her and Joel's love lived on. Melissa found she didn't fit the typical mold of widowhood or meet the expectations of mourning. She didn't look like a widow or act like a widow, but she felt like one. Melissa was widowish.

Melissa's personal journey through grief and beyond includes unlikely inspiration from an evangelical preacher, the calming presence of some Real Housewives, and the unexpected attention of a charming musician.

💭 T H O U G H T S

As someone who has personally faced the realities of the (mis)perception of 'what makes a widow,' I added Widowish, a modern account of widowhood, to my TBR ahead of its release with the hope it would be relatable in a variety of ways.

In her memoir, Melissa writes openly about the complexities and challenges of her grief journey. As a young widow myself, I related to a lot of what Melissa had to say. However, I found she came across with a sense of entitlement, which I hadn't be anticipating. Maybe that's just the Hollywood way, but it left a sour taste in my mouth.

Additionally, the narrative became repetitive at different times and I thought there was definitely room for some major editing to make it more impactful. Grief is deeply personal, and I hope that writing this book was helpful in Melissa's journey. Having these types of stories available is huge for those who are forced into the reality of widowhood.

Widowish is a reminder of the unpredictable nature of grief, that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Additionally, it demonstrates that widows come in a variety of different shapes and sizes, so maybe society needs to adjust their perceptions.

📚 R E C O M M E N D • T O
• young widows
• grievers faced with sudden loss

⚠️ CW: death, partner death, grief, chronic illness, terminal illness, medical content, medical trauma

🔖 F A V O U R I T E • Q U O T E S

"There. She said it. Her tears, her crying, her sympathy had nothing to do with me. It had to do with her. Her fears; her own anxiety over the possibility, however slim, of losing her husband. Having her world rocked upside down. I looked at her with indifference."

"It's common for widows to feel like they are the ones who need to comfort those who are trying to comfort them. I wish I could offer suggestions of the appropriate things to say, but the truth is, I don't know. Grief is personal and private."

Great book. Highly recommend and will most defiantly read more by this author and suggest to others!

This is a thoughtful and sometimes painful exploration of grief and recovery. Melissa's husband had been ill for years but having to make the decision to remove life support was tougher than she expected. Now, she and her daughter Sophie cycle through a variety of emotions (logically) and find a variety of ways to make their lives meaningful in his absence. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC. A read that will linger in your mind.

This memoir was heartbreaking. Mellisa’s husband Joel had been living with MS and progressively getting worse but they were battling through with their daughter Sophie making up their trio. When Joel contracted a virus and couldn’t recover, Melissa had to make the decision to turn off life support. Widowish tracks the journey of Melissa and Sophie as they learn to go through life without Joel and open up to new love.

Grief is a personal experience and when life moves on and we move on with it, we never completely let go of that grief. As we keep living, the grief will always follow us, but not always burden us the same way. In my experience, grief sometimes is plain bitter, but other times it's bittersweet.

Melissa Gould explores some important questions in her memoir, like how to choose what's best for the person you love while they're in a coma, how to approach kids with such hard subjects and how to help them deal with the aftermath of a parent's loss, and if there is a timeline in grief and when it's acceptable by our society to move on.

Even though I couldn't connect to Gould's writing style in a deeper level and often found her thoughts wordy and repetitive, the message of the book is of great importance and it is vital for such books to get published and reach readers who struggle with their grief or want to find some comfort to their grieving through the stories of others.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing an ARC in exchange to my honest review.

This is a great well written memoir. I really like memoirs and I admired how honest the author was. Melissa marries the love of her life and lives a charmed life with her husband and young daughter. Then her husband Joel is diagnosed with MS. They still make the most of their lives continuing to travel and do as many things as they can while Joel’s mobility is still good. As the MS progresses Joel starts to make plans regarding his medical care going forward. Then Joel develops an inflammation and requires hospitalization. As the doctors try to find a diagnosis for Joel’s condition his illness worsens. Once Melissa realizes Joel will not survive without life support she makes the decision she knows is the best and allows Joel to die. Melissa describes her grief and how she pieces her life back together and moves forward for herself and her daughter. This book is both heartbreaking and uplifting and it was heartening to see the strength that Melissa had.

*Thank you to NetGalley, Melissa Gould and Little a for an ARC in exchange or an honest review*

Dear Ms. Gould,

I have just recently finished your memoir, Widowish. There are so many similarities to your story with my story that I am using this review to write you a note and tell you how much your writing has brought me back.

I lost my 6yoson and husband in a car accident about 16 months before you lost your Joel. Though Joel was sick for a long time and my family died in an instant, how we reacted to those deaths is what has given me pause. Maybe my marriage wasn't as perfect as yours, but complicated grief is just as devastating. The minutes and months afterwards when you are forced to deal with the messy aftermath of a life cut short is when you look back on the choices you have made and the people you love and focus on that. I remember my "Clooney" hikes clearly and focusing solely on my daughter, 4 at the time. I enjoyed reading the story of your marriage and how you met. It sounds like a very successful marriage.

Like you, it left me as a single parent in her 40s, From your descriptions of those first days, it seems neither of us had any idea what to do. There is no book called "How To Be a Widow". One scene that really resonated with me was your anger at being told to write about yourself. Going to find Marcos and tell him what you really thought is exactly what I would have done. My anger started much earlier than yours, though. I am happy that you didn't give up on love. 6 months is not typical for a widow to find what you found in Marcos. Someone said once that if you know how to love deeply, it is easier to get back in there. I also understand the trepidation and embarrassment of falling in love so early on after your Husband's death. I hope you are still together, as genuine love rarely happens twice in one's lifetime.

My daughter, though much younger than Sophie, reacted similarly to her. Her Father's death was a very matter of fact in her life. Her practical way of managing her grief still sets me off some days. It doesn't mean they love their fathers (or fathers and brothers in my case) any less. It is the child's or young adult's way of processing something unknown to them.

Thank you for writing this gorgeous book. You have made me think about things in a way I haven't in a long time. I deeply appreciate your take on "young" widowhood, as it stands.

Nobody can understand what is going through a grieving person's mind in any particular instant. Furthermore, there is no single "accepted" timeline to the grieving process. It is unique to every grieving individual. Melissa Gould and her husband Joel were happily married. Sadly, just before having to be be "suddenly" hospitalized, Joel was living with MS. But this emergency hospitalization was unrelated to his MS, and the cause of this admission baffled the physicians at not one, but two, hospitals. Sadly, once the cause was determined, it was too late to change Joel's rapid decline, and Melissa was forced to make a very difficult decision. Based on her discussions with Joel, she decided it would be far kinder to terminate life support, rather then prolong Joel's suffering.

In her book #Widowish, Melissa lays bare her own grieving process, which was non linear, and what she (or others) may consider unconventional (or non traditional). But, who is to say what is the "correct" way to grieve. That is the beauty of Melissa Gould's book. In fact, as described in her memoir, a friend of hers suggested early on that she write down her story, not necessarily to share, but, her friend believed, that the actual writing process would be healing for Melissa, Melissa said,"no way". But eventually she tried it (she accepted her friend's advice). At first, she wrote essays, that began to gain popularity. Eventually she wrote the book. Melissa Gould has been pleasantly surprised and humbled by the response to Widowish.

Do not hesitate to read this book thinking that it will dampen your mood, Of course its sad that Joel dies and Melissa and her daughter are left to grieve. But beyond that, Widowish is not about despair, its about the grieving process. It"s personal, and no one can determine what you feel. Be open to suggestions, but be true to your heart. I had the opportunity to listen to Melissa in @zibbyowens book club. I must say she is humbled and grateful for all the interest in her story. If you are unfamiliar with Melissa she is an award-winning screen writer whose credits include Bill Nye the Science Guy, Party of Five, Beverly Hills 90210, and Lizzie McGuire.

Thank you #netgalley and @littleApublishers for the e-ARC of #widowish by meliisagould_author in return for my honest review.

A gripping, non-traditional take on grief. A heart warming story of moving forward without "letting go". Well written and engaging.

The author’s compelling memoir reveals her journey from happily married mother of one to sudden widow. After her beloved husband died following an unexpected hospitalization, Melissa’s world turned upside down. How she righted life for herself and her young daughter is at turns tragic, hopeful, at times funny, and always inspirational. She describes not acting or looking like a widow, but feeling like one. Hence the title, WIDOWISH. This is a beautifully written account of her walk through grief to new life. Highly recommended!

5 of 5 Stars

Pub Date 01 Feb 2021
#Widowish #NetGalley

Thanks to the author, Little A, and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

This is a well written, quick read (because I couldn't put it down) and a beautiful memoir.
Melissa Gould's husband (the love of her life) is diagnosed with a chronic illness and then for apparently(?) no reason begins to deteriorate at an increasing rate of speed.
How can Melissa and her young daughter begin to move forward? How do you survive such a family tragedy?
This is their heartfelt journey.
This book is filled with love, fear, acceptance,hope and goodness at a time when emotions run high for the survivors as well as the on-lookers who only pray to never have to go through what Melissa, Joel and Sophie go through.
(You will need tissues!)

What a crazy, emotional journey! Melissa's traumatic experience following the death of her husband is actually life affirming, human and even humorous. It made me appreciate my day to day existence in our current pandemic. I appreciate family get togethers so much more since reading Melissa's memoir.