Between Perfect and Real is a heartwarming tale of finding yourself and acceptance. Following Dean as he discovers his true identity while playing Romeo in his school's 'nonconventional' rendition of Romeo and Juliet, the book offers a diverse cast though it does, at times, feel as though the author has tried to create as many characters as possible and does not quite know how to fit them all in.

There is more than a few uncomfortable moments, both for the characters and the readers, but ultimately, the title is one which reflects positively the real struggle of identity and self-acceptance. The voice of Dean comes across well however some parts or mentions of his transition feel a little rushed.

Despite this, we are presented with a realistic novel which has moments which can reduce the reader to tears at the drop of a hat.

"You know what's not fair? Mom telling me I should dress differently my whole life. Me and my friends worrying about some jerk attacking us when we're just out living our lives. Me having to be a girl because no one ever told me there were other options."

This book follows Dean, who is already questioning their gender, after they are cast as Romeo in the school play.

I've read other books with trans characters but this was my first experience of meeting a character as they're still discovering their identity.
I loved being able to go along with Dean for the journey of discovery, self acceptance & coming out. I also found it very informative & helpful you are told about different types of binders, hormones & surgery options through Dean's research.

In the first chapter Dean describes themselves as white which I found refreshing. Often it is *assumed* that a character is white unless stated otherwise. And although the main character is white & it's a book about being trans, there are also multiple occasions where the author points out how different people's experience can be if they're black or POC. Dean's 2 best friends are Ronnie, a gay black guy, and Allison, a bisexual Japanese girl, they also have a skater friend called Jared who is white & straight. The fact that the world treats POC, especially Black people, differently in the US is also mentioned in reference to the Police.

At the beginning of the book Dean is in a lesbian relationship with Zoe & they have plans to go to college in NYC together.

This book deals with some heavy & sensitive issues regarding gender & sexuality within Zoe & Dean's relationship.
It also shows what it's like to not have supportive parents & what that can mean for trans people, especially trans people of colour.
We also witness how Dean is the victim of some intense bullying at school once he come out as trans.

The friendships in this book are amazing & I feel that a big focus for this book is found family & how important friendships are in the queer community.

It's a heavy book but so wonderful and I 100% recommend.

CW: Outing, deadnaming, transphobia, homophobia, violence, racism

Between Perfect and Real is a beautifully written story about a trans boy accepting and embracing his identity and deciding what being trans means for him.

Dean has known he’s trans for a while and the focus of the story is on him coming out at school and to his friends and family.

Dean friendly, kind, a great actor, and has a kind of innocent optimism that allows him hope for the best outcome and see the best in others. When he’s cast as Romeo in the school play, he’s overjoyed because he finally gets to play a male role that feels right to him.

This moment of gender euphoria is followed by others throughout the novel, when he tries on Romeo’s blue suit and finds his first binder that fits just as he wants it to.

But the book doesn’t shy away from showing the violence and transphobia that trans people go are subjected to when coming out.

Dean faces transphobic comments and hate speech from other students at his school, as well as violence and vandalism of his possessions. People misgender and deadname him both intentionally and unintentionally and the author resolutely challenges this behavior at every turn, showing how thoughtless and damaging it is for Dean.

There are some incredibly raw and sad moments in the story, when Dean feels like he’ll never be accepted by certain people in his life and when he has to make hard choices for the sake of his own happiness and mental wellbeing, and the narrative is so well written that the crushing hopelessness he feels transfers straight off the page and to us.

I’ll never experience what Dean is going through because I’m not trans, but Ray Stoeve’s prose brings Dean’s experiences and emotions into sharp focus in a way that makes his sadness and frustration feel personal.

The importance of trans people’s safety is also a big theme in the novel. There are moments when Dean feels unsafe at school due to threats and bullying from other students and there’s a particularly tense scene when he’s walking through the city with friends and a man stares at them.

Dean mentions how disgusted the man looked and his friend Jade comments that some people want to kill them just for being trans. This lays bare the fact that trans people’s very existence is a threat to transphobic people and emphasises the importance of having a close group of friends and people that can be trusted.

And Dean does find his own close group in the form of friends from the trans youth group he attends. Despite being a little shy and initially not knowing how to approach them, he finds solace in their company as a found family. I loved the scenes where they hang out together and he’s free to be completely himself without fear of bullying or prejudice.

This story beautifully illustrates the fact that there’s no one way of being trans. The possibilities are endless, as Dean realises when he’s choosing a binder, deciding on pronouns, considering the clothing he wants to wear, and deciding on how he wants to identify when he goes to college.

I started listening to this on audio and finished it in physical format and both formats were equally as good. The narrator for the audiobook really brought the characters to life, but the hardback also made the quality of the writing shine through, so I’d heartily recommend either version if you’re considering picking up Between Perfect and Real.

Content warnings for transphobia, misgendering, deadnaming and homophobia (all challenged on page), threats of violence, discussions of gender dysphoria.

This was a great YA book about a trans protagonist who knows he's trans the whole time but has to figure out everything else. I think it did an especially good job capturing his cis girlfriend who tries to be supportive but bungles things multiple times -- it felt really realistic. I also loved the theater stuff, and specifically the Shakespeare stuff, which I think did a great job making sense of Shakespeare for a teen audience.

This was a wonderful coming-of-age story about a closeted trans boy discovering who he is. Dean’s coming-out story is inspiring and I’m sure will be relatable to many trans teenagers trying to find who they are and being able to tell the world.

I would highly recommend reading this one if you have ever been curious about the thoughts and feelings many trans individuals may feel when growing up - of course, this isn’t inclusive of every trans individuals’ experience. Being someone who has no experience of the feelings of gender dysphoria, I thought this novel had great insight and description of many of the thoughts and feelings one goes through when transitioning. I would highly recommend reading some own voices reader reviews about this novel as well.

Overall, this was a great YA coming of age novel that taught me a lot and I’m sure many kids will be glad to see themselves represented in literature.

A huge thank you to NetGalley and Amulet Books for the gifted ebook!

I received this book as an eARC from NetGalley in exchange for a review.

Oh my feels! I absolutely LOVED this book. It was definitely a slow burn but god damn did it hit me in my emotions. At times it kind of felt like a like an educational book, but it also had some raw feelings. The characters were believable and the situations realistic. I will be keeping my eye out for more from this author.

I adored this book. Between Perfect and Real is following Dean come to terms with how he's feeling in himself and working through this whilst also trying to deal with how to come out to the people in his life.

I haven't read many trans books that start this early on in a person's journey. However this was really beautifully written, very thought provoking and it was nice to go on this journey with Dean and see him grow into himself throughout the book.

Between Perfect and Real is the story of Dean, a trans boy who has just landed the lead role of 'Romeo' in the school play 'Romeo and Juliet'. It is a story about love, acceptance, finding yourself and being who you need to be.
I enjoyed how diverse the characters were; we had gay, lesbian, non-binary, trans. It was so interesting hearing from so many different points of view. I was particularly interested on reading a book and hearing from a trans perspective. It was moving, desperate and heart-breaking, but at the same time, hopeful.

I know I am not the target audience age-wise ( this was very clear to me in the book when 2000's rock music was called old), but aside from that I enjoyed this read. It wasn't mind-blowing for me, and I didn't fall in love with the book, but it is important and it shares some important topics. I think this book could be really comforting and helpful to the right audience.

I am thankful that it gave me the chance to read from a trans perspective and gain some insight into what it might feel like for them. I have important people to me on this journey too and I want to gain as much information as possible, this was a good experience.

Thank you to the publishers, the author and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I was so excited when I read the blurb of this book, and once I started reading I found it difficult to put down. It’s certainly not a lighthearted, fluffy read, instead dealing with the self-reckoning that living as a trans person brings about. It was a comfort in its relatability and the hopefulness of the ending, as well as the queer community that Dean has already around him and finds along the way. The book is told through a first person perspective, leading to a lot of introspection from the main character, and at so many points I just wanted to reach through the pages to comfort Dean. The book is entirely character driven, with not much by the way of plot, but that made it more engrossing to me. I wanted to see Dean do well in the play, but I also wanted to see the developments in the relationship with his parents, the important conversations between him and his girlfriend as they navigate their new relationship, and Dean settling into his identity now that he’s out.

I really enjoyed reading this book. The end left me hopeful for Dean’s future, as he was ready to face the world and all sorts of new changes having overcome such a huge milestone, even though things hadn’t gone exactly the way he would have liked. Between Perfect and Real is definitely one of my favourite reads of the first half of 2021.

I really loved this coming out story. I don’t normally enjoy books revolving around theatre but this was an exception! I think all the plot points and character development were very well balanced.


CWs: Bullying, transphobia and transphobic violence, harassment, minor outings of a trans person, deadnaming (dead name not mentioned on the page), homophobia and homophobic slurs, mention of suicide, and explorations of dysphoria

Thank you, NetGalley and the publisher for the chance to read this book.

“Between Perfect and Real” is the story of Dean, who is a trans boy in high school. After getting cast as Romeo in the school play, he starts to question whether he wants to come out. This YA mainly focuses on Dean discovering who he is, theatre & acting, friendships and possibilities.

Overall, while I had a few issues, I did enjoy it, the writing was really great and the plot well paced. I can’t wait to read more by this author in the future!

Absolutely wonderful book about finding yourself and coming out as a trans person. Will be throwing this at my friends. Full review to come

I really enjoyed this story. I loved the writing and the characters. I loved that there was a found family trope, and even better, I loved that there was an explicit acknowledgment of it. I loved watching Dean grow into himself and become more comfortable with who he is and confident enough to stand in that, even when things change and he loses parts of what he initially saw for his future. I loved Ronnie so much, I wish we could’ve seen even more of him. Overall, I truly did enjoy this book.

Thank you NetGalley for an earc for an honest review.

This book was really good to me, but I also have a few select feelings towards it. I liked the way first person pov worked in this book. I liked seeing Dean’s direct thoughts and seeing how everything fell apart and came together directly from him. I liked being on the journey with him as he found himself more and came to accept how things played out. I love seeing people find themselves and become more and more comfortable in themselves. I loved when he said he didn’t need Zoe or NYU to be whole.

My problems come in more with how the love interest, Zoe, was handled. Now, I do think it’s kind of screwed up that she outed him to their friends, but that also goes hand in hand to their many miscommunications, or better, lack of deeper communications. I don’t like how she was almost villainized, even by other queer people who didn’t know her or by their friends, when they should’ve done better at communicating on both their parts throughout their whole relationship and dean’s transition, and it wouldn’t have played out as it did.

Also, I know this is just a personal thing, but I hate when characters cry every other scene. It just kind of drives me a little nuts. But that’s just on me, and Dean cried every few pages.

Between Perfect and Real is the story of a teenager determining and owning their identity. It beautifully demonstrates the struggles that transgender teens face as they learn who they are and strongly face the fears associated with this situation and own it. What a powerful tale for the year.

I really liked this contemporary YA about a closeted trans guy whose getting cast as Romeo in the school play sparks his coming out.

Content warnings include: transphobia (including misgendering and deadnaming), coming out, getting outed, bullying, fistfight, school suspension, college applications, unrelfected adherence and enforcing of gender roles; mentions of teenagers getting kicked out for being queer, teenage homelessness.

The plot is mostly centered around Dean's coming out as trans after getting cast as the male lead in a play. There's subplots around the play itself, how coming out goes at his school and with his parents, tensions between him and a bully, Dean's girlfriend, Dean's friends and their plans for the future, and a good chunk simply about how being trans affects Dean, and how he thinks about it, and the support group for trans teens he joins.

The tensions and transphobia wasn't the worst I have seen, but some scenes were definitely hard to read and made me very angry on Dean's behalf.
The trans stuff was handled very well and is accessible to cis readers as well as relateable to trans readers.

My favourite part of the book were the characters. I really liked Dean's friend group in particular, and their interactions and just how they hung out with each other. The tensions between the characters were also realistic, and never too over the top for my personal taste.

I have just finished reading it and I want to start again straight away - and I VERY rarely re read books.

I thought this book was the top one I have read so far this year. I am not an own voices reviewer (but having seen Perpetual Pages review this, I know that thats one nod) but I just love theatre, love diverse fiction and love it when I leave the book wondering how the characters have got on. All of the characters in this were just such whole, complex people. The title lends nicely to the characters, who make mistakes, but also the setting of boundaries in this was something I haven't see done so well in any other YA book.

I can't wait for the paperback to be released (thats what I collect) I will be pre ordering it as soon as I can.

Wow. Just wow. I will be recommending this to everyone I speak to!

i absolutely LOVE when books help me, as a cis person, understand the trans experience more fully while maintaining a plot that is more entertaining than educational for trans readers who already know the shtick. this book does that PERFECTLY. this book should be required reading for all cis people, and for all trans people who don’t mind reading about graphic transphobia and other potentially triggering topics relating to trans-ness. this book is written wonderfully; this is a rare YA contemporary that doesn’t depict teenagers in a super cartoonish, out of touch way. i also love how the book doesn’t contain any pop culture references that are likely gonna be dated as soon as the book is in print, and completely ruin the vibe of the book.

this book is very raw, very painful, and very “between perfect and real” (pun completely intended.) you will see the internal battle of our main character dealing with transphobia and transphobic microaggressions from people at his school, his girlfriend, and his parents; how long will it take his anger to burst? but this book isn’t ONLY a pain story; it’s also a story of the joy of finding yourself and people who accept you (queer found family trope eeee!!)

(this paragraph is a minor spoiler)
as a high school senior who’s college plans went very south, i REALLY needed to read this book right now. most YA books make college out to be super idealistic: if the main character is rejected from their dream school they try try again, or they’re accepted to another amazing school in their optimal area. it gets SO old when you’re situation, as dean’s is, is far from perfect. people don’t typically settle for less than the most college-wise in YA books, and the fact that dean did made me feel VERY seen.

this is definitely a new favorite.

TWs: transphobia, unaccepting parents, deadnaming, (name not mentioned) misgendering, mention of past trans person dying by suicide, bullying, transphobic micro aggressions

I enjoyed this one a lot. I thought it was a really compelling and authentic portrayal of a trans teenager, and there was a lot to like about it. Dean's first person narrative voice is really easy to read and to empathise with, and all of the characters seem realistic, except for the bigoted character, who's so over-the-top and adored by all the authority figures despite it that it sometimes did push the envelope a bit. The theatre scenes are also really well done; I don't know much about theatre, but the book gave enough context to make up for that without just dumping a whole load of exposition. That's a hard line to walk, and this book manages it really well. Dean's love for the theatre is palpable and it really does shine through, making his character seem more realistic; so many books tell us that characters have an interest or a hobby, but don't show us their love for it. This book does that.

It also does a good job of showing how transphobia isn't really taken as seriously by authority figures and institutions, and although I think this book probably does need some trigger warnings, it would be disingenuous to present Dean's narrative as easy.

The one thing I sort of hated about this book was how Dean, treats his girlfriend. His girlfriend, Zoe, is a lesbian and makes that really clear throughout the book, and once Dean tells her that he's trans and plans to medically transition, Zoe tries to support him through it and tells him that she doesn't want to break up with him, but later changes her mind because she doesn't want to be with a guy (... because she's a lesbian.) Dean takes this really badly and acts like she's the least supportive girlfriend in the history of girlfriends, and many of his friends (and thus the narrative in general) affirm his perspective, saying that she's behaved terribly by telling him how she feels. But the thing is, the only way for her to affirm his gender is by ending their relationship. If she stays with him, then the underlying message is that she sees him as a girl. She never tells him not to transition, never says she sees him as anything but a guy, and is obviously affected by the fact that the person she's in love with isn't the gender she's attracted to. I really felt like the book did her character a huge disservice, and it made me really dislike Dean towards the end.

Still, it didn't change the fact that this is a really great book overall, and I think it's fine to have a messy protagonist; no-one's perfect, after all. I just wish that Dean's viewpoint had been challenged a bit more because he didn't really seem to acknowledge that his transition, whilst obviously something entirely personal and right for him and, in many ways, no-one else's business, was still inevitably going to affect other people in his life. Part of that might just be down to the fact that he's a teenage boy, though.

This was a little boring and didn't stray much from the coming out narrative. I was really excited for this title, and honestly I was disappointed. The best description I can think of for it is "fine."