This book is gorgeous. Dean is one of my favorite protagonists in a long time, and his relationship with his friends was delightful and surprising at times, heartbreaking at others, and it all felt very, very true to my experience growing up as a trans teenager with mostly cisgender friends.
My favorite moments had to do with Dean's complicated experiences as he came out. Before this, I don't think I've ever read a book that felt like an accurate depiction of what it's like to realize your gender, and can I just tell you? I felt like breaking down and crying reading it. Not just because of how hard Stoeve hits the nail on the head when it comes to dysphoria, anxieties around passing, hearing your correct pronouns, etc and etc--but because of how seen I felt for the first time ever. There are a few other books that I feel reflect my experiences as a trans person post-coming out, but never any that really dive into the pre-transition and early-transition feelings, which are confusing and heavy and weird and amazing and necessary. Stoeve really got at the heart of change and growth in this.
This isn't even touching on how, in every other aspect, this book is still gorgeous--the prose is clear and succinct and flowing, and the characters feel effortlessly real, and the pacing is smooth and somehow subtle.
Do yourself a favor and read this book!!!

Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for providing me with an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Between Perfect and Real was an extraordinarily moving novel that I’m sure will stay with me long after finishing it. It is without a doubt the kind of book we need more of.

Heartbreaking, honest and hopeful, Between Perfect and Real tells the story of Dean, a seventeen year old trans boy living in Seattle. The book starts with Dean being cast as Romeo in his school’s production of Romeo and Juliet, and then follows him as he comes to terms with his own identity, comes out and more. I came to love Dean as a character, along with his friends – Ronnie and Jade especially – and I loved the element of found, or chosen, family that was prominent in this book.

Not gonna lie, I struggled immensely when deciding whether or not to give this book four or five stars. Despite everything good about this book, I felt it had two minor shortcomings. In my opinion, the ending felt ever so slightly rushed, and the romance between Dean and Zoe felt slightly underdeveloped, even though it seemed like it was intended to be one of the more major parts of the plot. Along with this, I felt that the side characters weren’t all as well developed as they could’ve been, which was a shame as there were many interesting characters alongside Dean.

All that being said, I’m sure this book will resonate with and mean a lot to many readers, and I for one enjoyed it immensely.

Content warnings: transphobia, homophobia, mentions of deadnaming (name not on page), unsafe binding with duct tape, misgendering, forced outing, suicide (mentioned).

When I heard that Between Perfect and Real by Ray Stoeve was a YA contemporary novel revolving around a trans guy coming out with the help of Romeo and Juliet, I was immediately sold. Overall, I think the novel delivers on its premise and will be so, so important for younger trans guys who are grappling with their identity.

Dean’s journey of grappling with his identity, his process of coming out, the struggles he faces in his relationships as he comes out, and the bullying he experiences are (in some cases unfortunately) real in a way that resonates with me as a trans reader. There is a lot of homophobia, transphobia, and bullying in this story that can be difficult to read at times, particularly as a queer trans person, but it’s an illuminating light on the types of challenges young trans kids can face. As a side note, while there is a focus on medical/physical transition in this novel and I’m a firm believer that medical transition isn’t necessary to define or validate your transness if you don’t want it for yourself, I think it’s incredibly important for those discussions to be had openly and frankly as they are in this novel. The more that gender affirming medical care is normalized, the more I hope that trans youth will be able to access it without the prejudice and obstacles they currently face.

One of my other favourite parts of this novel was the use of fiction (in this case, theater) as a vehicle for identity and gender exploration. Dean’s journey of claiming Romeo as his own with the support of some of his close friend was really heartwarming to read. Predictably, I loved the found family Dean ends up making for himself in the course of the novel, as it serves as a reminder that no matter who you are, you are valid and worthy of love and support. Characters are also allowed to make mistakes as they learn how to navigate coming out, both their own and that of someone they know, and I really appreciate that space being given.

I did have a few critiques. The ending of the novel felt incredibly rushed and unresolved, though I do tend to feel that way about a lot of YA endings so take it with a grain of salt. The romantic subplot felt underdeveloped to me, especially since I got the impression it was supposed to be a bigger source of conflict. I also wish the play itself had been more of a focus given the pitch. And, outside of Dean, many of the side characters felt a bit underdeveloped as well and I would have liked to see more of them.

In the end, Between Perfect and Real centered a believable and necessary journey of coming out as trans that reinforces the idea your personal identity can change and it’s no less valid if and when it does. Despite a few stumbling blocks in this debut, this will be such an important novel for many and I’m so glad it exists in the world.

Thank you to Amulet Books and NetGalley for an advance copy in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

This book is a book everyone needs to read. One of the biggest things I loved about this book was the diversity. Not only just with gender and sexualities but also with race. Between Perfect and Real is about a Trans boy named Dean who has officially come to the realization that he is in fact trans. This book tackles a lot of issues that trans people face with coming out. There are so many moments in this book that I kept thinking, ‘This is exactly how it felt.’
Now that you know a bit more about the book let’s talk about the characters. The characters were one element that was done very well in this book. I already stated how good the diversity is within the book. Each character has an intricate story that we get little snippets of that to help us to fall even more in love with them. No character within this story is perfect and that is amazing because in real life you aren’t going to just walk up on a group of perfect people. I mean if you do you should probably run in the other direction because something is up. I felt so close to these characters by the end of the book. It was amazing watching them change from the beginning to the end which they did.
Onto the plot. I have to admit at first I thought it moved a bit slowly, but that slowness did help us to get to know Dean’s everyday life, how his family was, how his friends were, what he did at school, how his school was. Therefore although the beginning is a bit slow it is worth sticking with because of how the book picks up. There are ups and downs through the story after the beginning and you’re always there on the edge of your seat thinking with Dean, hoping. Contemporary stories don’t usually get me this invested in characters but all the challenges Dean faced just kept me right there with him the whole time which I never really feel when reading other contemporaries.
This book is different from other books I’ve read with trans characters for many reasons. One of those is that I read a lot of fantasy where when we have a trans character we don’t usually focus much on their gender which isn’t bad, it just doesn’t really teach people much. You can tell just from the description that this book is about Dean’s gender, but it’s not just that. It shows you things and threats that trans people face for simply existing. If you’re part of the LGBTQIA+ community I can almost promise you that you will find yourself relating to at least one of the characters.
Between Perfect and Real is a must-read but especially for cis people and I say this because it gives a look into what it’s like being trans that people need to see. It shows all the fears and the dangers that we face simply for being ourselves and the author, they really help you to not only see but feel that as you read about Dean.

Thank you to NetGalley for allowing me to read this book in exchange for an honest review.

All of Dean’s friends think he is a lesbian, but he knows the truth: he is a trans guy. When he is cast as Romeo in the school play, he feels pressure to come out...but what will his girlfriend say? This was a great YA read that will be so important to so many.

This was my first book with a transgender main character and was very long overdue! I am so happy to read a book with this because it’s incredible to see the representation and get to learn more about them and their struggles in everyday life. ‘Between Perfect and Real’ has LGBTQ+ representation and explores all sexuality’s as well as also included POC!

The story itself was really lovely, I loved the aspect of the play interlinking and also how Dean felt that he could truly be himself on the stage. I loved his relationship in the group (NO SPOILERS DON’T WORRY) and also how his friends supported him.

It is heard wrenching to see how people and family can react to someone coming out but lovely to see those who stuck by Dean as he finally became happy with being who he truly is. I definitely recommend this book! Thank you to Netgalley, publishers and the author for the ARC in exchange for truthful review.

(Would like to say I am not apart of the LGBTQ+ community and although I enjoyed it, I can’t decide ultimately if the representation is amazing due to it not being my place to say so! So the ratings are subject to change)

CW: Transphobia, dysmorphia, misgendering, parental neglect, discussion of suicide, breakup, bullying, mentioned dead naming, unsafe binding.

Representation: Trans protagonist, LGBTQIA+ side characters, POC side characters

Note: Dean is dead named, but his dead name is never printed on-page.

BETWEEN PERFECT AND REAL is a fantastic, queer YA contemporary debut about self-discovery, acceptance, found family, and how theatre can help in embracing yourself.

I loved Dean’s story so much and I can’t wait for everyone to read it!

Thanks to NetGalley for this E-ARC in exchange for an honest review!

Thanks to the publisher for providing an eARC of Between Perfect and Real in exchange for an honest review.

THIS! This is how you write relatable teen characters. Dean and everyone in his life felt so much like actual people that it hurt my feelings. Dean is a trans, straight (I'm fairly sure), man and I'm a cis, queer, woman and yet I still found him to be one of the most relatable teens I've read in a long time despite us having pretty opposite identities because he's just so universally well written, oh my god.

So let's talk plot because that also was incredible. Dean has been going by Dean for years now, which occasionally turns heads because if you ask anyone else, Dean is a girl. While Dean grapples with starting to figure out that his typically male nickname was one of the most right parts of his identity, he also gets cast as the male lead in the school musical and starts to explore why he feels so much better playing men then women.

I'm not trans so I can't speak to how well the rep was handled and I do know Dean binds unhealthily once in this (although he very quickly points out how unhealthy that was) but as a queer person, I found his experience coming out to be really well handled. I loved the emphasis on the different ways he came out and the realistic ways people accidentally blundered it and really enjoyed the emphasis Stoeve puts on how the internet & support groups helped Dean come into his identity.

There are a few standout lines near the end of this that made me start to cry but I can't really discuss them without spoilers so hurry up and read it already so I have someone to gush over this with.

I really struggled with this book, not due to its subject, but because the main character Dean is so unlikeable. Dean is going through many things, but he never hesitates to judge others without giving much thought to what they might be going through. The parents essentially have no lives of their own, except with respect to how they react to Dean. Now this may be an appropriate YA convention, but it's not a good storytelling technique for me as a reader. A better version of this story would have the parents exist as full human beings outside of Dean's struggles. The character of Zoe is also given somewhat short shrift. Her wish to remain with the person she loves, is not explored in enough depth or with enough compassion. Finally, the writer has sometimes forgotten to show, not tell. Better exposition would have been helpful On the positive side, the many fears, worries, wishes, and hopes of a transgender teen are explored with great sensitivity. But an important topic is not enough to make a good book.

This book’s premise sounded so good, so I was very happy when I was approved for an ARC! I really enjoyed it. Between Perfect and Real was a beautiful debut about coming out as your true self.

For a while now, Dean has known he’s a trans guy but he hasn’t told anyone else. When he’s cast as a “nontraditional” Romeo in the school play, he’s excited to be playing a male character as a boy in front of people. As time goes on, he becomes more and more conflicted about sharing this part of himself, especially to his girlfriend Zoe, who’s a lesbian, and his mom, whom he knows won’t react well. However, with the help of his friend Ronnie, he begins attending a support group for trans youths and grows more comfortable with his identity.

I do want to state that I am cisgender and thus I read this book from a cis perspective. I can’t speak for anything representation-wise about this, obviously, but I liked that Dean’s dead name is never stated on page. There are mentions of people intentionally deadnaming him (as well as misgendering him) but never on page. This book is an example of how you can have a trans character transitioning without deadnaming them!

I also liked the big LGBTQ+ cast. Zoe is a lesbian, Ronnie is gay, and their other friend Allison is bisexual. Dean also befriends two trans people in his support group, Nina and Jade, and talks with other trans people in the group. I loved how supportive they were throughout the book; although this book had its downs, I’m glad that they were there to provide love and support.

There’s a discussion in the book about how, while his friends are queer, they do not really understand what Dean is going through, which is a big sticking point at times. It was important to note that they are cis, and I liked that he could talk to other trans people for advice. I also really liked that this book acknowledges Dean’s white privilege! He has discussed with Ronnie, who is Black, about how people would still “overlook” him because he is white. Very few YA books, especially LGBTQ+ ones, acknowledge this so explicitly.

The writing was very poignant. We easily slip into Dean’s POV and what he’s feeling at that time. I’m excited to see what this author writes in the future!

I can’t talk that much about the plot without alluding to the ending. There’s a lot of turmoil throughout this book, of course; not everyone in Dean’s life is so supportive, namely his mom, and not everyone is as understanding as he first believes. There’s a lot of growth over the course of the book, and I’m happy with where it ended though!

Between Perfect and Real is a moving debut about coming out as trans. I really liked the characters and the writing, as well as the acknowledgement of certain privileges. I definitely recommend Between Perfect and Real if you’re looking for a gorgeous LGBTQ+ story!

I was given an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review, courtesy of @ABRAMSkids and @netgalley

I’m a FTM trans reviewer and let me tell you this book perfectly captures the FTM trans experience.

Between Perfect and Real is a story about self discovery and not being afraid to unabashedly be yourself. Throughout the book Dean faces hardship from almost everyone trying to push their ideas of who he is onto him, which is unfortunately a truth we see all too often in the LGBTQ+ community.

While I personally didn’t transition when I was in Highschool, Dean’s fears and experiences are so relatable to any trans man or just any person thats afraid of showing their true self. His concerns regarding his identity are very similar to what Myself and some of my peers have gone through, it feels like the author truly knows and understands.

The characters are so well written, I cared about Dean as a main character and felt what he was feeling right along with him.

There was such good representation of all genders and races in the later half of the book that feel so authentic to the real LGBTQ+ community I’m a part of.

Aside from the theme, I loved the theater elements throughout the book. I was never really a theater kid in school but am into theater now as an adult and let me say, this book perfectly shows what it’s like to be in a stage show, even if it is only a high school production.

I’m so glad this book exists and as soon as it releases I’m ordering a copy for myself and even one for my parents, in hopes that upon reading it they can understand me a little better.

Review from my 12-year-old daughter:
Before I begin my review I would like to say I cannot speak on the accuracy of the representation and am basing my review on the writing.

Although I only rated this book 3 stars, I believe that it could mean a lot to a lot of people. This book follows Dean, a trans boy, who is not yet out and instead is allowing everyone to think he's a lesbian, including his best friend, his girlfriend, and his parents. When his theater teacher casts him in their school play as a "nontraditional" Romeo, he begins to think more about coming out and what that would mean for him.

There were a few things that I didn't like about this book, which is why I rated it 3 stars. The first is that at the beginning, multiple side characters were introduced that were all given backstories at once, so it was hard to keep track of what happened to who and who was important. Another thing is that it seemed to jump around from scene to scene randomly, and it almost didn't feel like the order of the scenes had been planned out that carefully. And lastly, it seemed like [ Zoe and Dean randomly began to have troubles in their relationship without any buildup. (hide spoiler)]

And although my amount of enjoyment throughout the book mostly remained the same, there were a few things that stuck out. First, I love Shakespeare's plays, and I was introduced to them through a book called "Star Crossed" by Barbara Dee, which was about a school production of Romeo and Juliet. So I appreciated the elements of Romeo and Juliet throughout this book, and I almost wish there had been a bigger focus on the play and on modernizing Shakespeare. Another thing that I liked was that once the side characters were fully established, they and Dean were all very relatable. And lastly, I liked how this book dealt with heavier topics but still managed to be fun.

Overall, I found this to be an enjoyable read that I feel like will mean a lot to many people.

What a perfect way to end such a perfectly real book. One of the themes of this book is that there's no one way to be trans; being trans comes with infinite possibilites. Dean's story highlights one of those possibilities, but also makes room for all of the others, in the way Dean debates what his transition should look like and the way so many other trans people are featured in this book - I loved the support group Dean went to!

I read this book in one sitting, I just could not put it down. Dean's story spoke to me so much and I loved reading a trans coming out story, we need them so badly!

*I received a free review copy in exchange for an honest review of this book.

As a trans person this was stressful and difficult to read. Not because of inaccuracies (the dysphoria felt extremely realistic and very draining), but because it spends so much time dwelling on all the stuff that sucks and how dysphoric the MC feels that I didn’t feel like I got to know any of the other characters. I wish I'd gotten a sense of who his friends are separate from how they did or did not help him come out. Even conversations which weren’t about gender would often fade into an internal monologue as the MC either couldn't pay attention or actively tuned them out. Later on when he's a lot less dysphoric the non-transition conversations would get summaries and the transition-focused conversations would get full dialogue. When he finds a supportive space and starts to have other trans people to talk to him it felt good at first, but then it became clear that the book was setting up tension between him and his girlfriend by him not communicating well and her thinking that his friendships with the trans group were a threat to her relationship with him. For a book so good at depicting how to navigate various medical aspects of a transmasc experience it felt like it sacrificed any attempts at modeling healthy social transition. His girlfriend would probably have felt a lot less isolated and threatened by his new friendships if he’d been able to communicate more clearly with her. I understand that part of it is he's a teenager, and teenagers not doing the right thing is part of writing realistic teenagers, but I find it hard to believe that in the hours and hours of transition video footage he didn't look up anything on how to come out to his family, come out to friends, or come out to his girlfriend. Even a few lines about how he'd seen those and they weren't any help might have fixed it (I read an ARC, so I don't know if the final version has changes like this).

It felt like the narrative had a very medicalized focus on transition. Pronoun etiquette aside (I appreciated that), almost every conversation about being trans had some piece about his body, trans bodies generally, binding, hormones, etc. And that’s a huge part of some people’s transitions, sure, but it meant that often the book felt like it was being trans 101 more than a story. But also, if you don’t know what I mean by “trans 101” “dysphoria”, “medicalized... transition”, or “pronoun etiquette”, then give this a try. It’s pretty accurate to one way transitioning can look and I hope it helps people. I read this as an ARC so it's possible some of my reservations were addressed in the final edit, but it would gut the book and turn it into an completely different narrative to refocus it away from the medical aspects of transition since that is so much of the plot.

Overall I'd recommend this as one transmasc perspective on navigating a lot of the more stressful parts of coming out, even if the MC isn't perfect at it. Seeing some things not work but it mostly ending up okay is really important. I do give the warning that there's a lot of dysphoric ideation and so this might be a stressful read for anyone with dysphoria or certain kinds of body dysmorphia.

CW for deadnaming (not depicted), misgendering, homophobia, dysphoria, transphobia, bullying, violence, suicide (not depicted).

"The possibilities are endless."

What a perfect way to end such a perfectly real book. One of the themes of this book is that there's no one way to be trans; being trans comes with infinite possibilites. Dean's story highlights one of those possibilities, but also makes room for all of the others, in the way Dean debates what his transition should look like and the way so many other trans people are featured in this book - I loved the support group Dean went to!

I read this book in one sitting, I just could not put it down. Dean's story spoke to me so much and I loved reading a trans coming out story, we need them so badly!

CWs: transphobia, misgendering, homophobia, bullying, gender dysphoria, mention of a trans person's suicide, deadnaming of said trans person (which I'll admit is the one thing in this book I did find unnecessary and I wish it wasn't included)

4.5 star read

Ok, "Between Perfect and Real" brought out so many feelings for me!!!! Dean!!! My boy!

Ok so this book is devastatingly beautiful. The representation in this book is what I've longed for! The only reason this isn't a 5 star for me, is because I had some issues with the break up. I really felt like some elements should have been elaborated on more (like that because Dean is trans F->M, and Zoe is a lesbian, they wanted to end it). I know it was a little more complicated, but I wish more of a distinction had been there.

This is an honest portrayal and doesn't hide the bad stuff with the good. I laughed and cried and felt for these characters. Thank you Netgalley for approving an ARC of this for me!

So good! I love how many books with transmasc protagonists are coming out. It makes me wish there were more like this when I was young. I know I and many others would have benefitted from them and that they will help the next generation a ton.

3.5 stars | This is an important story for someone, I can already feel it. Somebody will see themselves in this book, in the characters, and feel seen and at home. That’s something incredibly special, and although I had some personal gripes with the pacing and wasn't very engaged until the second half of the novel, I still cried several times while reading and I still believe this is a solid debut and I'm SO excited to see that it exists in our world. In the end, a lovely story and I do plan on purchasing a hard copy when it comes out. Definitely an own-voices read I'd recommend. Thank you NetGalley for the ARC!

With that said, I do think this book could and will be really important to trans readers. It definitely felt personal to the author and I really liked how honest and raw the book was. I will say that I had a few issues with it that I'm not really sure how to articulate. I think the ending felt rushed. I was flipping my e-arc looking for more pages. I also felt like the breakup between Zoe and Dean wasn't addressed fully. I wish there had been more to the discussion about their relationship at the end; it wrapped up a little too quickly. I also felt that there were too many characters and in the beginning, I had a really hard time keeping track of them and each of their side stories. I love the found family trope and that this book used it, but I wish the family had been just a bit smaller so I could have felt more connected to each of the characters. (With that said, Ronnie is my absolute favorite and I would love to see an entire novel dedicated to him.)

Anyway, I did really like this! I appreciated that the issues within Dean's family weren't black and white and that his mom was changing toward the end. That stuff hit a little harder for me.

I definitely recommend this! I think some of my issues with it honestly are now coming down to my pickiness with YA. A book really has to have me connected to the characters more emotionally and has to *do more* for me to give it four or five stars and this just didn't have it for me. I think it'll be a really important book in 2021 and I hope it gets the hype it deserves!

This book is so beautiful it hurts. From the very first second, I knew Dean was going to settle behind my heart and chip away at me long after I had finished reading. And he did. The changes that Dean is enduring his senior year in high school after being cast as Romeo in the school play, and beginning a swift but long-time contemplation of who he is and who he wants to be are poignant and beautifully rendered. Despite moments of dread and sadness that made my chest feel tight, this book is about hope and new beginnings and I know that without a doubt that not only will this book be important to teens who will see themselves in Dean, but is the kind of book that changes (and saves) lives. The friends Dean is surrounded by (hi let’s talk about Ronnie and Jared and Jade, who absolutely STOLE MY HEART) make you smile and wish that we all had these people in our lives, but are particularly grateful that Dean is. Just a beautiful, beautiful debut that I will hold dear for years to come.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a free advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.