CW: unsafe binding with duct tape, mention of death by suicide *not graphic*, transphobia, violence, fighting, deadnaming (name is not mentioned) and misgendering, outting, imposter syndrome, break-up, talk of hormones & testosterone, safe binding, unaccepting parent, feeling of body & social dysphoria on-page at 87%.

Dean Foster must be protected at all costs. I saw myself in Dean A LOT as we both have a similar coming out story and are both skater boi's. Coming out after you're already out as a lesbian is an experience that I connect to and Dean's experience made me feel very comfortable and seen. He thought his coming out was over until he gets cast as Romeo in his high school's production of Romeo and Juliet and feelings of gender rise to the surface.

The feelings of dysphoria after realizing you're probably trans are SO REAL. Dean's experience of body dysphoria and imposter syndrome resonated with me and made me think back to my memories from the beginning of my transition. Between Perfect and Real is a great depiction of the trans male experience & coming of age story through the themes of Romeo and Juliet. Watching hours of YouTube and scrolling through trans Reddit pages are very real times in a trans man's life.

I loved Ronnie and Jared. Ronnie was a really great friend to Dean and he was someone I wished I had when I had first come out. I loved Ronnie, Jared, and Dean's dynamic toward the end of the novel and how they all hung out at a skatepark!! Dean is a SKATER BOI! Ronnie helped Dean a lot and Dean returned the favor when Ronnie is dealing with the unacceptance from his parents about pursuing fashion school.

I also liked how transphobia was handled and challenged. Dean did not take any off-hand comments from anyone including those closest to him. I also loved the support group aspect of the novel and how Dean made trans and gender non-conforming friends. Another aspect I could really relate to, seriously Dean's story was so similar to my own.

There's a robot analogy that was SO GOOD and depicted the disassociation parts of dysphoria where you feel like a robot version of yourself.

The only minor flaw I have is that I never read a scene where Dean takes off his binder (unless I missed it?). I'm just a little wary about whether he was sleeping in it or not - which is dangerous and forbidden.

Overall, I really cherished Dean's story and it's definitely one of my favorites. As a theater fan, I really loved seeing a trans character be the star of the show and have an amazing teacher, Mr. Harrsion to come to when things hit the fan. Would recommend!

I just finished this and I'm bawling my eyes out. I swear this book isn't fiction, it just my own senior year of highschool. Just replace Dean being an acting student struggling with playing a male role while closeted, with me being an art student struggling with self portraits. And I don't wanna get to deep into my family life, but its almost exactly lile Dean's. Dean's mom is literally my own, I actually had a really hard time reading scenes with her because it all just felt like my memories. And so many other things felt so familiar like the sneaking out to support group, sending binders to a friends house, not being able to go to my dream school. I swear I just read a book of my life. I'm just wrecked right now, I relate to alot of trans books but this one I relate to the point of it just being my biography. This book is definitely getting put on the list of books I recommend for trans teens to read. Its just so heartfelt and raw and real.
Thank you @abramskids for sending me this ARC and to @jamesrowanray for writing it!
Releases April 13, 2021
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Trans ftm representation, side lesbian, bisexual, gay ,nonbinary, mtf representation
Own Voices
CW: deadnaming, misgendering, transphobia, homophobia, bullying, coming out, unsafe binding, breakups, assault

this book is going to mean a lot to someone one day.

i feel like i could say that for many (every) lgbtq+ book i read. but it’s worth saying. this book is going to mean a lot to someone one day, and i’m so glad it exists.

between perfect and real introduces us to dean who just wants to be himself as he is: a trans guy. but he is still trying to figure out how to do that, and what it means for him. it’s a story about coming into who you are, while coming out to others. about how dean had to perform every day of his life, until he is cast as romeo in the school play and for the first time feels like he isn’t acting.

this book had me from the first page, the first lines of the first chapter. and knowing that a kid out there one day can pick this up and see their thoughts on page and know that they’re not alone? that what they’re thinking matters? that’s so important. and it’s important that cis people (such as myself) are able to read these words and empathize as well.

a quick list of other things i enjoyed about this book: a cast diverse in sexuality and race! teenage characters that feel like teenagers! senior year stresses that i don’t miss at all! high school theatre that i miss everyday! theatre kids playing zip zap zop which is so integral to every theatre class!

other notes: this is stoeve’s ya debut, and it does at times come across as a debut novel in the witting. however, i look forward to stoeve’s growth and expect great work from them in the future!

This is an engaging story of a trans boy figuring out his gender identity, coming out, navigating a not-so-accepting environment (mostly of ignorance) and beginning to find his place in a local trans community. I have no doubt that this book will resonate with both trans/questioning readers and readers who would like to develop more understanding and empathy towards the struggles of some trans youth. However, this book was a but disappointing for me personally. Overall, I'd rate it 3.5 stars but I'll round up to 4.

Praise:
- I was definitely hooked in once I started reading; I think I finished the book in two sittings, soon after starting it.

- I love the premise of a high school play, with inhabiting a male role being the catalyst for Dean truly coming to terms with his gender identity.

- Transness was dealt with realistically. There are some details that feel very true-to-life, and I don't know if the author was drawing on their own experiences or the experiences of others in the trans community, but I appreciated it. For example, there's sensitivity shown in the fact that Dean's birthname isn't written out, and there's relatability regarding Dean watching trans youtubers.

Critique:

- I didn't find most of the secondary or tertiary characters to be particularly developed. I'm honestly having difficulty remembering a lot of their names. Perhaps this reflects how much the story focuses on Dean, and how Dean is so in his own head, questioning and worrying and reflecting.

- The pacing at the back-end of the book felt a bit off. There's so much anticipation towards the performance of the play, but it fell a bit flat to me.

- This isn't necessarily a critique, but my perspective on how this book fits in the literary landscape. This book was much more upsetting/negative than I expected... between the bullying and harassment, the incompetence of Dean's school administrators, the tense dynamics and coming-out fallout in Dean's family, the backstory of an older trans person who committed suicide... Even though the ending is ultimately hopeful for Dean's future, this is not what I would consider a feel-good trans coming-of-age novel. That is not inherently a bad thing, of course. Readers who are going through, or once went through, struggles similar to Dean may find solace and solidarity in this story. However, there still isn't that much representation of trans protagonists, and it would be great to have more stories in which there isn't so much struggle directly related to transness.

Dean Foster knows he’s a trans guy. But to everyone else – his parents, his friends, and his classmates – Dean is a lesbian. When he auditions for the role of Lady Capulet in the school’s rendition of Romeo and Juliet senior year, he is surprised to find the director, Mr. Harrison, has cast him as Romeo. As rehearsal progresses, and the play allows Dean to realize more about himself, he wonders whether should stay in the closet until college, which was his plan, or come out sooner. Can playing a character, performing on stage, help Dean realize who he wants to be, and strive to make it known? I guess we’ll have to wait for act three.

I just want to say that I’m glad this book, and others the center teen trans identity, are being written and can be found by people who are searching to see themselves represented in literature. Dean’s journey through understanding his identity, finding those who understand his struggles, and knowing those who love him will fight against hate was lovely to read about. The struggle to get through to his mother, who we find does not accept his true self, perhaps due to closed-minded upbringing, was heartbreaking, but I cheered Dean on as he defended himself, and fought back against his dad who wanted to be complacent on the matter in order to keep peace in their house. Not only that, but this book also explores the uncertainty about the future that comes from senior year of college – you can make all these plans, and can hope to stay in touch with those closest to you now, but one moment can change the future and throw you plans out the window. Dean’s friendship group was strong, and protected him against harm that resulted from classmates unacceptance, while also respecting his decisions and gave him the space to think things through to figure out what is best for him. I loved how there is so much emphasis on giving yourself time to figure things out – teens, especially those heading off to college, are expected to have all the answers to their future, and while some do follow through others pursue paths that they had never planned on following, and that’s perfectly ok. Dean may not have all the answers at the end of this book, not even a definitive answer about if he wants to starts testosterone, but he’s found people who will support him no matter what, and help him through making tough decisions about his future. I was rooting for him the entire time.

Lightly, though distinctly, this book also discusses the unequal treatment provided by law enforcement officials. When theater teacher and play director, Mr. Harrison, approaches Dean, and tells him that he could choose to report Blake to police for his actions of physical violence and hurtful language, it sparks a conversation among Dean and his friends about the unfair treatment towards BIPOC and queer individuals by police. They say that since Blake is “straight and white,” he might not get punished, and if he does it won’t be severely and it will just make him hate Dean even more. Dean also remembers a time when he and his best friend Ronnie, who is Black, were followed around the mall by security guards, and when Ronnie left to find a bathroom they chose to follow him. With movements that have garnered national and international attention regarding racial inequality by police spanning the last few years, I found the discussion significant.

All in all, I think no matter your identity, you can appreciate Dean’s story. It’s full of struggle, acceptance, independence, uncertainty, and figuring out your place in the world. As an ally of the trans community, I will continue to support media that shares their stories and allows their voices to be heard and spread to far away places. I think Ray Stoeve did an incredible job with their debut, I cannot wait to see what they do in the future. Please consider picking up Between Perfect and Real when it’s released next April, I highly recommend. **Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher, Amulet Books, for the e-copy, all thoughts and opinions are my own.**

As a cis-woman, the trans experience is something I don't understand. But after reading this, I feel like I understand it a little bit more. This book is so amazing and I love it and will probably read it over and over again.

I think that this book is powerful and important and should be put into the hands of as many young people as possible. It takes the common high school setting and adds so many layers of complexity and self discovery. Representation matters. Diverse perspectives matter. I think that this book portrays those things in a captivating and engaging way that will seem relatable to many different types of readers.

This is the kind of book that is going to change someone's life. "Between Perfect and Real" is a YA novel that combines the usual ups-and-downs of senior year in high school (college applications, stressing about the future, trying out for the school play, and so on) with a journey of self-discovery as Dean learns and begins to define who he is. And for Dean, that means realizing that he's trans and that he doesn't want to use the pronouns once given to him, that never sat quite right with him. He/Him is what feels comfortable.
I found Dean to be such a wonderful character throughout the whole book as he dealt with the internal and external frustrations of coming out, both to himself and then to others. As a cis reader, I obviously don't know what the trans experience is like, but I thought that Dean's journey was so meaningful to read about and that his story will really make a difference to those reading who maybe also feel the same as Dean. I thought the book held an important balance too between the struggles that Dean faced but also the support and validation he found. Despite his challenges, there is such hope to this book that I loved. I also loved the way Romeo and Juliet as a play was woven into the text and the ways that Dean got to learn about himself through this role. And as a former high school theater kid, I loved the way this highlighted theater (for all its good and all its flaws). This really captured so much of senior year in it too, with all the stress over friend groups and college applications and such. Overall, I think this is a really special book and I definitely recommend it!

Dean has always been a masculine person, but it's not until he lands the starring role of Romeo in the school play that it really hits him-- he's transgender. Until now, he's been okay living as a tomboy lesbian... but the more he explores his identity, both as Dean and Romeo, the more he realizes it's time to transition in the real world. I was glued to this novel, which expertly and authentically portrays both the positive and negative interactions one may face that come with the courageous and self-affirming path of transitioning, even in progressive cities like Seattle. Stoeve's debut is bound to become a young adult LGBT classic: informative, relatable, and timeless.

Thanks to the publisher for providing an arc in exchange for an honest review!

I loved this book from beginning to end. It's dripping with voice and life, and I was blown away by how relatable and real those teen characters were. This kind of book is desperately needed and I know that trans teens will be able to see themselves in Dean. It'll be so many people's favorite book and I think it's going to be very important to our culture conversation as well.

I found myself immersed in the romantic and platonic character arcs from the beginning as well as the family struggles that Dean endures. The emphasis on found family and supportive friends really struck a chord with me. I love that friendships are getting more page time - they're just as messy and complicated and important as romantic arcs.

The writing style was beautiful to read. I can't wait for this book to be out and on the shelves of people who need it the most.

Before Perfect and Real is a wonderful and needed story that will make a difference in people's lives. I hate that the world makes showing who you really are inside such a scary and uncertain experience, but I'm glad there are stories like this one that give teens like Dean a chance to be seen and know that they aren’t alone.

Dean knows he’s trans, but he’s not sure if he’s ready to come out since everyone at school currently thinks he’s a lesbian, including his girlfriend. After being cast as a non-traditional Romeo in the school play, Dean quickly realizes that he needs to be seen as a guy even off stage. As rehearsals continue, Dean knows it’s time to come out despite his fears.

Between Perfect and Real does an excellent job portraying a trans male perspective and the many concerns and questions about coming out and transitioning. My heart hurt for Dean through most of the book because he was so anxious about the consequences of coming out but so sick of being seen and treated like a girl. There are a lot of solid friendships and experiences throughout the story but also a few rough moments that may be triggering to some readers.

The book is very well written with a structure that works perfectly as play preparations intertwine with Dean’s coming out experience. There were several points where I reread a passage because the phrasing was spot on and/or just beautiful to read. Even though the story focuses on Dean, the side characters are fleshed out and have their own development too. Honestly, it’s just a super solid book that will appeal to a variety of people.

Highly recommended.

Trans YA written by a trans author! This book is a true delight. Stoeve weaves so much regular teen drama in with all of Dean's struggles with his identity and coming out to his friends and family. Dean is the kid of man character you can't help but root for but he's realistically imperfect and so are all of his friends.

This books is great. Highly recommend.

This is such an excellent debut novel for the author! They captured the high school experience without making it cliché, crafted really compelling characters, and told a really honest story about discovering your identity.
Loved this, and can't wait to put it into the hands of readers!

The fact that this book had me crying my eyes out from start to finish man...I loved it so much. This book is important. It truly matters. We need more trans visibility in books.

I want to start by saying that one day this book will be very important to someone. The struggles faced by Dean throughout the story are sure to hit a cord with not just teens (or adults for that matter) struggling with their gender identity, but also with anyone who is struggling with their identity period. The story feels very real and honest and raw while still managing to remain accessible. There are clear struggles (romantic ones, friendship ones, family ones) but ultimately it is still a story about the importance of found family and finding friends who will do whatever they can to love and support you.

This is one of my favorite things I've read this year, and I can't wait for it to hit shelves next year so everyone else can experience it also.

Enjoyable, quick read that many young readers will find relatable and helpful. I appreciated that this book isn't full of tragedy, but it also isn't a perfect world. Dean's parents and classmates and friends have a tough time giving Dean exactly what he deserves and needs in those moments, and I think many will have had similar experiences with coming out.

Enthralling, descriptive and emotional. What an incredible debut novel! Dean Foster is a senior student focused on the theater as a career. This is the only simple layer to this student. Not only is Dean wrestling with the typical angsts of a teenager, but we get to follow in the journey of discovery, understanding, why those childhood years of being forced into dresses, a female lifestyle, felt foreign, wrong. Through research on Google and YouTube, Dean becomes aware, she is not a lesbian, but a trans male. The book opens up the world of LBGTQ in a fascinating YA tale, I thoroughly enjoyed this book from beginning to end. I look forward to more books from Ray Stoeve.

It's pretty rare that I read a book over night these days but this book erased time for me. This is a book about Dean Foster, a queer teen coming to terms with being trans in high school. He auditions for Romeo & Juliet and gets the part of Romeo, the story starts there and follows him all the way through his last performance. The friendship and sense of community in this book left me overjoyed and filled with an immense hope. This book was also personally special because my 'first love' in high school went through the very same thing and so Dean wasn't just a character but someone I deeply cared about and a story I always hoped could be told. This was a really wonderful book.

It's refreshing to see Romeo and Juliet used as an intertext not for star-crossed lovers, but for figuring out and loving one's true self. Also lovely: an understanding, caring teacher who nonetheless doesn't have the perfect advice but tries hard anyway. The cast of characters is mostly thoughtfully crafted, surrounding protagonist Dean with people who love and support him, even if they stumble at times.

Bring on all the trans coming out and self acceptance stories, please! This heartwarming story is about Dean Foster’s coming out and understanding himself as a trans guy. The timeline of the story starts with the auditions for Romeo and Juliet and follows through the last performance. I enjoyed the presence of high school theater and the way it gave Dean opportunities for growth without overtaking the plot.
I thoroughly enjoyed this story and the way it presented queer friendships and community. Not everyone was entirely accepting, but there was other support when Dean needed it. I definitely look forward to reading more novels by this author.