While not exactly victim blaming, not all that helpful although I believe the writer had good intentions and wants to help people.

Very well done and very thorough. This is a great book for those who think they may be in an emotionally abusive relationship. There are exercises so the person can work out the ideas for themselves. The author is also careful about how to deal with leaving your partner.

:I was expecting more from this read. I guess i thought more would be covered and not just about marriage type relationships. Thanks to NetGalley, the author and the publisher for the arc of this book in return for my honest review. Receiving the book in this manner had no bearing on this review.

Outstanding read. Engel helps readers identify emotional abuse and gives them tools for how to address it. Lots of helpful exercises throughout the book. It can be an intense read, but emotional abuse is intense. Engel is compassionate with readers and encourages self-compassion. This feels about as close as a book can come to approximating actually going to sessions with a therapist!

I used to work with Domestic Violence Victims and their family. I also was in an emotionally abuse marriage and am now divorced. I did appreciate the author’s advice to explain patterns of emotional abuse. However, this book did not resonate with me as I wished it would.

I needed more connection and better editing p, too. It is noble to put this information at there, but it just didn’t move me the way I hoped.

Thank you NetGalley, Beverly Engel, and Kensington for providing an ARC.

This is one of the best books about abuse that I have ever read. The author's expertise shines through in each chapter, and she does a phenomenal job of acknowledging the variance between different people's life experiences, backgrounds, and choices, providing lots of descriptions and checklists for people to identify what applies to them. The book primarily focuses on abuse within the context of a romantic relationship, but also addresses child abuse to help victims determine how their upbringing may have affected their choice of a romantic partner, expectations for a relationship, and ability to stand up for themselves.

Beverly Engel writes to both men and women, and I hugely appreciate this. Most books about abuse are written to a female audience, exclusively use female pronouns, and only tell stories about female victims and male abusers. These books usually mention in the preface, or near the beginning, that men are sometimes also abused and that the book can help them as well, but there is no real acknowledgment of their situation within the source as a whole. Given how difficult it would already be for a man to acknowledge to himself that he is an abuse victim, I think that having to read a completely female-focused book would make it even more challenging for him to make it through the material, tell someone, and get help.

This book perfectly weaves in both male and female pronouns, and stories from both men and women who have suffered from emotional abuse. Given how rare this inclusiveness is for this topic, I appreciate it tremendously. Engel also profiles common traits of female abusers in a way that can be very eye-opening for people who have never considered the covert ways that women can abuse and control men.

This book is very long and seemed redundant to me at times, but it makes sense for the author to reinforce her points again in different contexts, since this is such a challenging issue and is so overwhelming to people. She does a great job defining shame and addressing its power, and provides practical exercises that people can do to help themselves deal with their shame and change their self-image. She also includes detailed information about how to make a decision whether or not to leave a relationship. She acknowledges the many different considerations that people might take into account, takes them all seriously, and provides helpful perspectives on whether or not abusers can change.

Many books and articles send the message that abusers can't change, never will, and must be cut off immediately and forever. Engel takes a much more nuanced approach to the issue, creating profiles of different types of abusers to help victims recognize what kind of abusive relationship they are in. This is one of the best and most unique parts of this book, in my opinion, and is part of why I am giving this book a full five stars.

Engel differentiates between people who know that they are abusing from those who are oblivious to it, and those who are reenacting unhealthy patterns from their childhoods from malicious abusers who take pleasure in making someone else suffer. She provides clear advice and encouragement for whatever abuser someone might be facing, and gives suggestions for how someone in a salvageable relationship might be able to reconcile with their partner and work through their issues together.

Also, Engel succeeds at giving an anti-shame message without presuming that her readership is full of perfect angels. Some books say things like, "You are perfect the way you are," and build their self-acceptance messages based on this false premise. Engel avoids this trap, and shows that even when you are decidedly not perfect, and even when you may be in part responsible for a dysfunctional dynamic, you still do not deserve to be abused.

People who feel justifiable guilt for their own actions can still find help here, without the common unintentional message that a book only applies to "perfect" victims. Engel never makes light of the possibility that her readers might have their own abusive patterns, and even directly addresses what someone can do if they realize that they have been abusing their children. She covers possibilities and contingencies for all kinds of different issues, and shows that no one deserves to be degraded and dehumanized, regardless of their own faults.

This book is incredibly thorough, practical, wise, and honest, and I am amazed by the author's expertise and sensitivity. It took me a while to gather my thoughts and write a review, but I wanted to go into detail about what people can expect, instead of just saying that it is thorough and excellent. I would highly recommend this to anyone who has experienced emotional abuse in the past or present, who is trying to process whether or not they have abused someone else, or wants to better understand the issue to support others.

This book can change your life - it has mine! By reading this book I was able to recognize abusive tactics, understand the extreme negative impact of abuse, how to counteract the damage caused by abuse, and ultimately escape emotional abuse! This is a good book to read for people who are going through abuse, friends and family who know someone who is going through abuse, and anyone who is not currently in a relationship (know the red flags!!!)

Engel made very valid points about emotional abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, victimhood and ways on how to heal. As a survivor myself, this title resonated in me and also helped me even though I read it over a year after I escaped an abusive relationship.

While this book is typically outside of my collection development area (I work with teens), I think there is definitely a need for this book in our adult collection.

I was intrigued by this book after dealing with some of this in my own life several years ago and have been looking for ways to heal through it ever since. And while not all of it pertained directly to me and my situation, I did glean some really valuable insight as I continue on my own journey. I think there is invaluable information in this book for somebody going through this ordeal while reading it, and asking themselves difficult questions about what might be happening to them. I will definitely be recommending it for our adult collection as well as to the local women's shelter in our community. I think it's a really important book.

Thank you Kensington Books & NetGalley for sending me an ARC. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

As someone who is interested in social work, psychology, and general sociology I was interested when this was sent to me. This book already started off strong for me because it began with a Rumi quote. The integral breakdown of emotion, statistics, and thought process was from a very understanding point of view and it is very apparent that Engel put a lot of work and time into this piece which is very seen and understood especially due to the topic nature.

I really liked the breakdown of each section in the book. It added a clear and step by step analysis and help guide. Overall a solid analytical read and something I could see helping those suffering from emotional abuse.

This is a well written book that is full of information on overcoming emotional abuse. This book is not just for victims of emotional abuse, it's a book everyone should read. It explains the signs of emotional abuse and how to overcome the shame. Thank you Kensington Books via NetGalley for the ARC copy of this book. All opinions expressed are my own.

**I received an ARC from the publisher on Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

For anyone who has experienced emotional abuse, who is experiencing it, who is recovering from emotional abuse, or dating someone who has gone through it, I would recommend this book. It's very insightful and full of helpful information. I thought Beverly Engel did a great job writing this book and compiling useful information. She has published other books on this subject and similar subjects as well. I love how she gives the reminder it's not your fault and you need to feel no shame. She has it right, you don't deserve this shame.

Before reading non-fiction books that can influence my life and health, I like to check and see if the author knows what she is talking about and whether the information she provides is reliable.

I was quite impressed to find the following information about Beverly Engel:

An Internationally recognized psychotherapist
Acclaimed advocate for victims of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. Author of 22 self-help books, some award-winning and translated into many languages
A licensed marriage and family therapist
Has now practiced psychotherapy for 35 years.
Appeared in national television talk shows like Oprah and CNN.
Has a blog on the Psychology Today website, regularly contributes to the Psychology Today magazine
Featured in many established newspapers and magazines
Conducts training workshops throughout the USA and UK, for both professional and lay audiences
I think we can safely say that she is an expert.

Escaping Emotional Abuse provides great and comprehensive insights into what is emotional abuse, how to recognise it and what you can do about it. The content is very practical : what should you do? How do you identify the type of abusers? How can you tailor your actions accordingly. Should you stay? Should you leave? If you decide to stay, what should you do.

It's also essential reading for the abuser who wants to change because they can gain more awareness about themselves by identifying the type of abuser that they are.

This is a very well-written and readable book that has a comforting, understanding and sympathetic voice.

I would highly recommend it for anyone who has an unsatisfactory relationship where emotional abuse is suspected. It's for both victim and abuser because some abusers do want to change!

Emotional abuse can be confusing as it is subtle. One may ask is this normal interactions or not .The author leads you to the answers, from emotional abuse identification to how to deal. In the opening she states the following: " No matter what you decide to do I will support you. I will walk along side of you".
Very detailed yet easy to understand this is an important book.

I want to thank NetGalley, Citadel Press and Kensington Publishing for the opportunity to read and review this book. It releases in 29 December 2020

This book was an exceptional read for anyone who has experienced emotional abuse (well-defined by the author) from a partner or family member. Although I exited a relationship that was emotionally abusive many years ago, there was so much presented by the author that was totally new to me; one of the major revelations was how childhood emotional abuse can lead to entering a relationship with an abusive partner later. The exercises Ms. Engel presents are highly useful, as is her focus on self-compassion and self-soothing exercises. These are concepts that I had never been exposed to before despite past counseling. In short, I think this is an excellent book for anyone who has suffered an emotionally abusive relationship, past or present.

This book touches on an unseen abuse and more books are needed of this genre.
The author presents a well researched self help book for breaking away from an emotionally abusive relationship.
The writing is very readable and the chapters are aided by exercises to complete at the end.
Case studies along the way aid your understanding and the book follows a logical path.
I am sure this book will become a valid aid for helping people in this situation.
Thank you to the author, publisher and NetGalley for allowing me to read in return for a review.

As a survivor (and former victim) of severe emotional abuse, I can honestly say Beverly Engel's books have been a true lifesaver for me. She has rightfully earned the name of an icon in this field as far as I'm concerned, so when I saw that she's publishing a new book, I had to reach for it immediately.

Escaping Emotional Abuse is just as incredibly informative, compassionate and lifesaving as Engel's previous work. In this book, she sheds light at a completely new angle on a particular technique abusers use to keep their victims close, namely shame. Diamond specifically looks at emotional abusers in romantic partnerships (something to bear in mind), but I think a lot of the information is applicable in other types of relationships as well. Even though I've been educating myself of domestic abuse for a long time, this book taught me a lot about why and how shame is such an effective tool in the hands of an abuser,a s well as how you can break free of shame and take control of your feelings.

Finally, Engel also discusses what happens after the abusive relationship ends - and this is where it gets tricky for the reader who thinks she can be a survivor and stay, which is not quite possible or likely according to the author. Nonetheless, I found the advice on what happens after you leave particularly helpful.

*Thank you to the Publisher for a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Beverly Engel’s “Escaping Emotional Abuse” is a must-read for any person who has been abused by their romantic partner. It is also beneficial for therapists who work with abused folks. Abuse erodes identity, and in its wake, leaves a person with enormous pain, shame, lack of self-confidence and a murky relational path ahead. Beverly’s down-to-earth yet informative style not only informs about the dynamics of emotional abuse but paves a healing and transformative way forward. I highly recommend this book!