Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for giving me a free advanced copy of this book to read and review.

I have a lot of mixed feeling about this one. I love that a nonbinary person got to write a memoir that's been so well received! I think someday they'll have some very insightful things to say, however, I'm not sure they're quite there yet. The beginning was engaging, but by the time I had to put it down at 60% it was less so. I've seen some reviewers saying if they were younger than Jamie it'd be more profound and I think that applies to me too. While this wasn't the best read for me, I'm glad it's out there and I look forward to seeing what they come up with in the future.

Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for providing me with an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

I finished this book ages ago and yet I've struggled so much with writing a review for it.
I've always had a hard time writing reviews for texts I love - it comes much easier for books I dislike (which probably says some unflattering things about my person).
So of course I've struggled with writing something about this book, because to say that I only loved it would be selling it short.

I don't think I ever understood how much the lack of nonbinary representation have affected me until I started reading nonbinary stories - both fiction and real.
To read a book, and have it tell you "I experience the same things you do, I see you, you are real" means more than words can convey when we live in a world that actively tries to enforce the lie "there is only two genders" ever single day.
Books like this become a safe space, a breathing room, the feeling of coming home. I'm so thankful for that.

Obviously, since we nonbinary people aren't a monolith, I don't recognize myself in everything Jamie writes about. But they make it very clear that they don't expect that, and are never late to point out the privileges they hold, and how they affect them.
Another thing I adore about this book is how clear it is that its intended audience are queer people, and especially nonbinary ones. So many nonbinary books (especially non-fiction) feels filtered for a cis-gaze, and I'm so happy this one didn't play into that.

All in all, I'm so glad I got to read it, and I'll definitely buy it, if nothing else to be able to underline all the sentences I spent this read screenshotting.

This was a meaningful book to read. I haven't been out as non-binary for long, and this book helped me feel less alone.

I really wanted to love this book and had expected to give it an enthusiastic 'tens across the board' review. After all, it's a timely title from a rising LGBTQ+ icon.

However, I spent most of my time wondering why the editor hadn't helped Jaime a little more. The tone of voice jumps around so much that I really wasn't sure who the target audience was for the first half of the book. It seems to switch from addressing NB teens in one paragraph to cis adults in the next. It also felt padded out in sections, with the so-called polyamory story really making me roll my eyes. I really wish an editor had helped Jaime to find a way to talk about their perspective in a way that matched their life experience, rather than trying to fill a prescribed structure.

That said, if you're a young NB or trans teen, this book will probably be a great read for you. As a 39-year-old queer, cis white woman, I didn't take much away from it. I do look forward to seeing what Jaime does in the coming years though and I hope publishers will be more responsible with the way they present younger LGBTQ+ voices.

I was very, very excited to pick this book up. As a non-binary person, the idea of a memoir/essay collection from someone who shared that identity was really appealing. Unfortunately, I was pretty underwhelmed by this one.

The scope of topics covered in In Their Shoes is broad- in my opinion, far too broad for a young twenty two year old to delve into at any great depth. When referring to coming out as non-binary, Jamie says “At the time, I was eighteen and had all the arrogance that comes with being a new-born adult.” This is delivered with no seeming acknowledgement or irony that, at 22,a lot of people would still consider them to be a “new-born adult.” This obviously doesn’t mean that their voice is not important, but they lack perspective in certain areas that only time can provide, and as a similarly age reader, I didn’t really appreciate the condescending tone throughout the book.

As a side note, it’s probably relevant that I knew nothing of the author going in, including the fact that they were a young British model with a Instagram following. Of course there’s nothing wrong with any of those things, but if that had been included in the description, I would have realized that wasn’t going to be a book for me.

I haven’t seen anywhere that this a book targeted towards a YA audience, but I believe that would be the ideal demographic. Jamie is able to be funny and vulnerable and use phrases like “big mood” in the correct context. The tips section at the end of each chapter are great takeaways for young people who are learning about gender diversity and expression for the first time.

This is a wonderful memoir about living life as a non-binary person. Jamie Windust’s voice is witty and engaging, and I will be following them on social media now!

In Their Shoes
Jamie Windust writes this part memoir, part advice book about life as a person who identifies as non-binary.

What I liked:
This is a really important topic for young people who are outside of the gender binary. The fact that Windust writes so openly and honestly is such a gift to people who identify as non-binary. It is a gift to everyone really because we all need to understand what is in this book.

Windust shares personal stories of times when they have been in everyday situations and have had to deal with the aggression directed at them for just being who they are. Just waiting for the bus, getting coffee, meeting someone for a drink - these regular outings can be cause for great levels of stress, frustration and fear.

Windust gives advice not only to people who identify as non-binary, but also to people who want to be allies.

Windust has a great sense of humor, and inserts their great attitude and personality all over this book. It really helped to get to know them as a person.

What didn’t work for me:
This book just needed some more editing. I did have an arc copy from @netgalley, but it was just a little repetitive and needed tightening up.

I had to remember that Windust is young and I’m probably not the demo for a 22 year old offering life advice.

Windust is from the UK so there were a lot of references and slang I didn’t get as an American. Not a big deal just something that created an element of difficulty.

Overall, this is a super important book and I would recommend it to someone who would be interested in this topic.

Jamie Windust has written a book that really helps anyone who identifies as non-binary and is perhaps feeling alone? Realise that is far from the case, they also highlight the fact that it's very much okay to not be okay as you navigate a path you perhaps hadn't known you were on. (This is certainly me who is in their forties and has recently stepped out of the closet for the second day time).

𝘐𝘯 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘦𝘴: 𝘕𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘕𝘰𝘯-𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 is a phenomenal book that tells the story of the author's journey which is one where you will feel a plethora of emotions as you as the reader walk by Windust's side. I had moments in the couple of hours that I devoured the book, where I was angry, and then feeling my heart ache with the need to cry. There are lots of times I was laughing (quietly, it was gone 2am at this point) and cheering the author on.

I don't tend to demand people buy a book, but when I do? It's books like 𝘐𝘯 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘦𝘴: 𝘕𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘕𝘰𝘯-𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦, that have me calling out to head to your nearest bookstore.

This is for those who are non-binary and need some reassurance, it's for those who hear the term but don't understand what it is and what it feels like to identify as an enby.

This is a book that will change your mind, your perspective and your doubts.

Thank you Jamie Windust for helping me feel not so afraid to be me.

I was given a free copy of this book by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

CW: sexual assault, fetishisation of trans and nonbinary people

As a nonbinary person, it’s hard to find books that represent my identity or my experiences, especially in a world that is still not very understanding of said identity. For that reason, I was so excited to read In Their Shoes by Jamie Windust, a memoir of Jamie’s early life up until now as they negotiate life as a nonbinary person, talking about relationships to family to work life and, more generally, how we’re perceived by those around us.

In Their Shoes is a fantastic memoir. The tone is relatable and reads like a friend telling you about their life, inviting you to share in their experiences. In that way, I loved this book. There were moments I laughed out loud, and moments I wanted to reach through the pages and give Jamie a hug. The only thing that didn’t really work for me were the list of tips in this chapter, as they didn’t quite fit with the tone of a memoir to me. Windust expresses several times within the book that their experiences are not universal to nonbinary people, and as a result these tips end up sounding quite generic. That being said, they are tips that I would probably have been very reassured to here in my earlier years. I do not doubt that for readers of this book who are earlier on in their journey to accept their own identity than I am, these tips will be a reassurance and affirmation.

It’s so nice to finally hear the stories of nonbinary people told through great memoirs like In Their Shoes. I hope it’s the first of many opportunities for nonbinary people’s voices to be heard, and more importantly, listened to.

I have requested to read In Their Shoes as I am not familiar with the LGBTQ+ community and their experiences. I have also been hearing about "non-binary" quite often in the past years and I was interested in learning more. I can honestly say that I picked the right book in order to try to put myself in those shoes for a couple of days. The writing was extremely pleasant; it felt like having a drink with a friend and listen to their stories and experiences. I loved it!

Being a non-heterosexual is so difficult. No wonder so many end up committing suicide. They feel watched, judged, made fun of, humiliated constantly. Who can live like that! And why? Because they just want to live happily and not hide their true self.

This book was a quick read, it was funny, moving, emotional, heartbreaking, and so relatable, even to a straight person. I will definitely recommend it to anyone I might have a discussion with on that important subject. The world needs to learn to accept people for who they really are. As long as no one gets hurt, who really cares what gender you feel you belong and/or attracted to?

Thank you Net Galley and the publisher for this e-ARC in exchange for my honest review.

3.5/5
This was a really nice memoir by non-binary author Jamie Windust. I really like that they discuss many aspects of their queer and non-binary identity and how it affects them while moving through the world in different spheres like dating, discovering your identity.
It's also kind of a mix between a memoir and a self-help book. I liked the presence of both elements, but I would have preferred a bit more clear structure in the book personally, because I feel like the book was constantly going back and forth without necessarily establishing it, which made the message a bit confusing at times. Overall though, it was very enjoyable.

Having followed their Instagram for a while now i was very excited to read this book. It is both a self-help book and memoir as it tracks Jamie as they navigate through non-binary life whilst offering advice to those who may also find themselves in a similar position..

The writing style is very raw and vulnerable, Though, at times, I felt the writing was often unstructured and was a little like going down a rabbit hole. But, in a way, that made it truly anecdotal and almost emulated the way in which you might tell a story to a friend.

Where this book may go above other self-help book is that it describes self-acceptance in way that denotes it as the bare minimum; that is we should also go as for as to self-celebrating ourselves, in whatever way we see fit.

Overall, a thoroughly enjoyable read. Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Pub for the ARC!

Part memoir, part self-help book, this exploration of what it means to be a young nonbinary femme trans creative professional in London is engaging and thought-provoking. It's raw and honest in a way that really resonated with me, once I got used to the informal writing style.

Probably because it's both self-help and memoir, the message sometimes got a little muddled, especially towards the beginning. Overall though I found it to be worth a read. I even stayed up late reading it in one sitting, so I suppose I was good and hooked.

The one thing that kept throwing me is that this is a self-help book that claims a vast expanse of knowledge and experience, with the implication that the author is looking back on long years of being nonbinary - and yet they are only 22. It was jarring to have someone that much younger than me writing with the assurance of someone much older. I will grant, however, that they seem to have a much broader swath of life experience than me, so perhaps that is warranted.

Definitely recommend to anyone wanting to expand their gender diverse - and especially nonbinary! - bookshelf.

In some ways, this book is incredibly important. Windust speaks from their lived experience as a nonbinary person and often gives advice to others walking the same path.

That said, it is not particularly well-written. Windust is often too vague and winding to make much sense of what they're saying in some chapters. Chapters such as the one ostensibly about polyamory actually barely touch on the topic at all, missing opportunities for a nuanced conversation about the many ways relationships can look. Also, Windust is incredibly young. This wouldn't be an issue, but when overgeneralized relationship and work advice comes from a 22-year-old, it feels stilted and lacks any sort of gravitas. The parts where Windust is authentically themselves are great - every now and then, their humor shines through, for example - but each section needed more direction and specificity.

This is a fantastic book from Jamie Windust. They identify as non binary and this book is a must read, even for me as a cis gender woman I felt that I learnt a lot about a gender identity that I didn't really know about. Also the chapter on fashion really has ignited a spark in myself that was long gone!

This memoir by the British writer and model, Jamie Windust, was absolutely enthralling. I tore through this title in just one day and I was not ready for it to end when I came to the last page. Windust writes about their experience with being non-binary and opens the door to a lot of different conversations surrounding gender identity (specifically the struggles of those who are transgender or non-binary). Also, because the author and I are so close in age, I particularly enjoyed the pop culture references throughout the book. There is one scene in particular that Jamie recalls writing a goodbye message on a mirror in lipstick like they do on RuPaul's drag race. As a huge fan of that show, I loved this little nod to the program (and the acknowledgment that the queen of drag herself has her own flaws that quickly followed). I highly recommend reading this book if you are questioning your gender identity as Windust provides lots of advice and insight to those trying to figure out who they are. However, I would also recommend this book to readers who are looking to learn more about the trans and non-binary community and find ways to support them in your everyday life.

This memoir (of a 22-year-old nonbinary model) meets self-help book (for other nonbinary people) was a joy to read. The chapters cover many different aspects of nonbinary life: from discovering your identity, to family, to dating, to mental health, to experimenting and finding yourself with fashion and gender expression, to coping with transphobia and public scrutiny.

So much of the trans and nonbinary experience is portrayed as tragic, and while hardship is unfortunately a reality for most trans and nonbinary people, it's also important to show joy and happiness. Through personal anecdotes and advice, Jamie provides words of wisdom to help nonbinary people cope, take care of themselves, and thrive. They don't sugarcoat the many struggles of their life as a feminine nonbinary person, but they also highlight their successes, the euphoria, community and happiness they experience as an n-b person.

At times I was somewhat confused by where a chapter, or a story within a chapter, was going. I think if there were different sections or breakdowns within each chapter, there would have been better clarity. I was also confused by some of the British references/phrases but that's the Canadian in me. Overall, Jamie's writing is humourous and although I had never heard of them prior, I'll now be following their social media and magazine FRUITCAKE very closely!

This book made me feel seen, but more importantly it allowed me to reflect on how my experiences as a newly-discovered nonbinary person who is feminine and AFAB are very different. I have an immense amount of privilege and it's important that I always recognize that. There are many trans and nonbinary people who do not have the ability, or desire, to fly under the radar. And it is my duty to use my privilege to stick up for them always.

CW: sexual assault, transphobia, fetishization of trans people

In Their Shoes is a book that combines memoir with advice on how to live in the world as a non-binary person. Windust combines anecdotes from their life, focusing on growing up, coming out, being femme, and dating in particular, with relevant suggestions for how to explore particular areas yourself, whether as a non-binary person or as an ally to trans and non-binary people. One of the best parts is a look at the complexity of coming out, offering advice on the fact that it isn't something you have to do quickly, but at your own pace. The personal anecdotes are witty and frank, and this is an enjoyable quick read that may help some people along the way. As a non-binary person in their late twenties, it is great to see books like this released, touching on the good and the bad, though there were a couple of lines in it that made me feel old...

With brief but heartfelt stories, Windust provides a beautiful and unique book of a lived nonbinary life. I cried in the first section, Someone Else's Shoes, and laughed and felt seen throughout the rest of the text. Part memoir and part self-help, In Their Shoes provides perspective on the nonbinary community, the trans community at large, and of simply being a human being in the modern world. Windust sprinkles legitimate advice throughout as well, which felt much more personal and endearing than simply listing anecdote after anecdote, or making too much light of realities or insecurities. Instead, Windust faces the reality faced by many individuals head-on, recognizing that if they went through these experiences, there's bound to be more people who have or will as well. Many books of this caliber seem to offer the simple advice and guidance of "be yourself!" but Windust takes a calmer approach in stating how not everyone's journey is at the same time, and due to any number of circumstances, readers may not be able or willing to simply be all out and be themselves. And that's okay. I'm definitely recommending this to coworkers and parents as well, as it is an excellent teaching tool.