I am familiar with Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton, their lives their works and their deaths. I think that this was an interesting book, but a deeply sad book.

Both women suffered from being born in a time where they couldn’t truly be themselves and from horrible untreated mental illness. I first learned of both in learning about mental health.

I think this books humanizes them a lot in showing their friendship, but I don’t know that I would say it was revolutionary to my experience with or understanding of these ladies.

As always, I appreciate the publisher and Netgalley for giving me the opportunity to read and share my thoughts.

Three Martini Afternoons at the Ritz by Gail Crowther

9781982138394

303 Pages
Publisher: Gallery Books
Release Date: June 2, 2021

Nonfiction, Memoirs, Biographies, History, Sylvia Plath, Anne Sexton

This book is a back and forth between two women poets from the 1950s. Both women were outspoken and visionaries. Although their lives were shortened due to suicide, their work has stood the test of time. In fact, their work is more prominent now than it was in the 1950s. Their words have made it possible for today’s women writers to write freely about topics often thought taboo back then.

I have followed Sylvia Plath’s work for a while and always jump at the chance to read about her life and work. She and Anne both wrote about important issues, especially women’s issues, although they were not recognized for it at the time. They were writers, mothers, feminists, fought mental health issues, and were frenemies. This is a great book for anyone that appreciate women writers and how far we have come making the “personal is political” movement.

Gail Crowther presents the reader with a well researched review of the intersections of the lives of Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton. The numerous parallels between these two women, who shared a classroom in Boston for one semester, did not seem to preoccupy them at all. Both became literary icons for young women writers in the in the years after their deaths. The “restrictive social roles of 1950s America” played an enormous role in the devastating frustration and exhaustion felt by the two writers and many other women of the time. It’s a painful book to read in part because they suffered but also because we must ask ourselves, what is different, particularly in the literary world, today?

This book details the life, friendship, and eventual rivalry of poets, Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton. These women would frequently meet at the Ritz for martinis, discussing topics ranging from mental health, professional works, and aspirations.

These women were ahead of their time. There had not yet been a women’s movement. They were the ones starting a dialogue on women’s rights, feminism, and pushing the boundaries of authorship by females. They wrote about topics previously taboo. Sylvia and Anne were groundbreaking.

Also, there’s basically a whole section on how impactful Occupational Therapy was for mental health. As this is my profession, I was so happy to see the value of OT shared with the world!

Sincere thanks to NetGalley and Gallery Books for an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I liked this book very much and sorry it got so lost in the post-COVID crush. Putting Plath in the context of Sexton is a smart move and adds a lot to the overview of how sexism informed both of their careers. A real contribution.

Very in=depth and fascinating look into the minds/lives of the featured women. The author organizes the biography to help the subject's journey make sense and allow the reader to empathasize with their stories. Addiitonally, the author really brings to light and relates the societal expectations placed on the subjects.

"…Even as an adult, Sexton claimed, “There’s nothing that makes a woman feel worse than to be not desired. I would rather never enjoy sex, truthfully, taking all my pleasure and throw it out the window, than to feel not wanted…"

Anne Sexton used her power as an attractive woman in a man’s world to infamously exact her sexual vengeance. She also liked boozing it up. Combining these two indulgences led to a life rarely experienced by most of us. The fact that she, and Sylvia Plath, were also recognized as gifted poets of the first rank seems to be less the point of this rather enchanting biography regarding both women who once were rivals but then eventually became close friends and drinking buddies. The emphasis zeroed in by the writer Gail Crowther targeted and obsessed on each woman’s powerful and important future contribution to the women’s movement. Sexually liberated and both mentally ill, the book avoids the literary contribution both poets made as if their poems would one day hardly matter. These two women’s voices were definitely heard and continue to be regardless of the body of poems being ultimately inferior. However, their journals, memoirs, and letters reach the depth and vision of their motivations in light of unrealized poems.

."..They explored in her sessions why she enjoyed seducing other men so much, but then when it came down to it, did not really enjoy sex with them. The pleasure seemed to be in attracting the partner of another woman…"

Most of the sexual escapades focused on, in this sometimes racy literary encounter, centered on Anne Sexton, and rightfully so. Sylvia Plath always comes across to me as the more maternal of the two poets and the better mother between these strong personalities. Their relationship with each other was not as deep and involved as the title would have us believe. The fact that they were similar in their shared mental illness and obsession with suicide, not to mention both being liberated women at a time when it was certainly a challenge to be so, was the real connection despite the celebrity quotient dividing them. What interested me in the quotation above, and which gave me pause to consider it in total, was my own conclusion made in the throes of a triangular personal relationship of my own with my New York City friend, editor, and teacher. He too maintained a reputation as an obsessed sexual fiend. Certainly he would be considered in some circles today to have been lecherous, and even predatory. He is likely too old and frail now for that level of sexual activity. In his defense I would strongly offer that it takes two to play this game if both parties are out for personal gain. In my experience, on the sexual side of things, I concluded years ago that this literary icon relished in his conquest of bedding another man’s wife more than the actual relationship he may or may not have had with the married woman herself. There were many instances in which my friend was braggadocious about his sexual conquests and generally took liberties in spreading his venom and audacity publicly. It became clear to me how important it was for this man to cuckold what he wanted to believe was the weaker or inferior man in the marriage. True cuckolds thrive on that scenario, those not wishing to be cuckolds abhor even the thought. After several examples through the years in our own relationship, I came to understand his motivation. I knew the last thing I wanted was to be cuckolded. Given the appropriate situation for sexually sharing my partner with another was something I did once consider. At first I believed this friend would be appreciative of the opportunity to bed my wife if she were willing, and my part in the triangle was to provide her for him with my blessing as a thank you for all he had done for me in making me a writer. It is important to note that my wife eventually became a reluctant participant in this wanton activity and was never fully all-in for the actual sexual event. The chemistry was simply not there between these two people, and she has always claimed she needed an emotional connection for sex to occur. After the fact, both of us were relieved that nothing ever came of this seduction except for the fun and excitement in planning it. In other words, in looking back we were using him as much as he would ultimately use us. In similar contrast, but in reverse, Anne Sexton’s own adulterous activities deemed these men’s wives obviously incapable of satisfying their husbands sexual needs and in turn they too were being cuckolded by her actions. At least that is what I gathered in my seeking out the answers to my own personal affairs. I might add that a good book offers countless opportunities for self-reflection. This book was no exception.

"...Perhaps these sensitive critics should feel lucky that they never had to review The Journals of Sylvia Plath. They may have needed smelling salts to recover from such passages as, “Oh I would like to get in a car and be driven off into the mountains to a cabin on a wind-howling hill and be raped in a huge lust like a cave woman, fighting, screaming, biting in a ferocious ecstasy of orgasm…"

Sylvia Plath was no wallflower either. The personalities of these two women came alive somewhat in this literary work. But sadly there was much missing. Intimacy, for one. Poetry for another. And as much as this book impelled me to offer my own personal opinions I fear Gail Crother was likewise compelled to offer too many of her own. Still, my reading of it was interesting, and often fun.

I already knew a lot about Sylvia Plath, but nearly nothing about Anne Sexton. Each chapter gives us a perspective on these talented, troubled women along with the differences and similarities between them.

From the title and description of this book, I mistakenly believed I would experience something quite a bit different than what I got. Instead of a book about the interactions between these two famous writers and potentially some insight into their relationship, this is instead a dry biography of them. There are actually very few references to the women in relation to the other - the book is more of a comparison and contrast of their lives. It is very slow moving and sometimes gets bogged down in little details. The author clearly did a lot of research, but I would have liked to have seen it presented in a more interesting way.

I received a complimentary copy of this book in return for my honest review. All opinions are my own.

Three-Martini Afternoons at the Ritz is like being a fly on the wall, or sitting at a table near by eavesdropping to two women chatting each week over Martinis about their lives, their feelings, and the absolute dread they had of their competition of doing the same thing for a living because these two women were Ann Sexton and Sylvia Plath confessional poetesses.

I enjoyed Three- Martin Afternoons at the Ritz, I'm not sure that's the right word, because there was a lot of sadness in this book, Gail Crowther's novel about Plath and Sexton. I learned a lot. I gained an understanding and empathy for what they both went through, how just like any other friendship they had highs and lows, love and hate.

The writing was companionable, confiding-chatter, and classic storytelling at it's best.

My first experience, like many other readers, with Sylvia Plath would be her only book, some would say, biography The Bell Jar. It actually propelled me to read The Barbizon by Paulina Bren, the real setting for Plath's hotel Amazon. Her husband Ted Hughes was also a favorite poet of mine.

I only read one poem by Anne Sexton, "Her Kind" so Three-Martini Afternoons at the Ritz was eye-opening to me of her life and her works.

It was fascinating that both Plath and Sexton died of Carbon Dioxide. It's similar to me like Thomas Jefferson and John Adams dying on the same day within hours of each other.

Mental Health is tragic, this book shows that, however, it also shows how flawed diagnoses were back in their lifetimes and the extent that the illnesses were treated. Terror is what I felt reading about each woman's treatment.

The intense parallel mental illness where they were both hospitalized, the poetry, and the support they gave each other makes this book a much-read novel.

I give this book 4.5 stars.

An interesting yet depressing read about 2 brilliant poets, victims of their sex and the times they lived in. Both led promiscuous and sometimes violent sex lives, were hospitalized for mental illness, and suicide attempts. I had high expectations for this book but it didn’t work for me.

Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher and author for the arc.

3.5 rounded up

This book was a very interesting read, but a difficult one nonetheless. Both of the prolific subjects of this book suffered from mental illness that was unfortunately incurable (and fairly untreatable) in their time. However, that does not diminish from the complicated legacy of both of these women.

Throughout the book, the reader is intimately aware that the thing that connects these two women is their reputation as female writers of the same era and their suicides. Knowing that eventually the book will discuss the topic of their suicides propels the reader toward the end. It makes you want to see how all of the pieces fit together and how the story ends. That being said, I felt like the author did a good job of making the book not entirely about that. At no point did I feel that the book seemed voyeuristic in its treatment of the subject matter and these women's lives.

All THAT being said, there were times where we the readers (and the researchers) lack the understanding of why the two women involved chose certain actions. The biggest example for me was Anne Sexton's sexually inappropriate behavior toward her own daughter. The book paints a complicated picture of these women, just as their lives were. But the fact that their mental illness caused such disturbances makes them hard to relate to.
Sylvia Plath is painted as a depressed woman, trudging through her bleak life trying to get better in spite of everything. Anne Sexton is painted as a brash, over-the-top woman who is a dynamic personality who seems to be hurtling toward disaster at any moment. I found myself becoming more interested in Sylvia as time went on, as I felt that Anne's story (while more interesting at first) had less I could connect to.

Despite the fabulously evocative cover, this exploration is less about the brief time poets Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath participated in a workshop together at Boston University, and more a broad exploration of the similarities and differences between these two famous poets.

Similar in age, graduates of the same high school, and with many other similarities, Plath and Sexton are too often sensationalized, remembered for their deaths as much as (or more than) their impressive bodies of work. The tragedies of their lives are often overlooked in favor of the lurid details of their deaths--both by suicide.

Using an impressive amount of archival material as well as interviews, the author focuses on various themes that defined the women's lives--sexuality and mental health issues, in particular. This is as much a feminist criticism of the treatment of women in the mid-twentieth century as it is a book about two famous confessional poets.. Meticulously researched and very well-written, this is an easy to read prose-wise, but difficult to read as an empathetic woman. #ThreeMartiniAfternoonsAtTheRitz #NetGalley

I mistakenly thought this was a historical fiction novel about the friendship between Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath, but found out it was a nonfiction book when I began reading it. I was pleasantly surprised as it was interesting and compelling to read, easily broken into sections of various issues or parts of their life and backgrounds, providing great comparisons and contrasts between the two women. I was hoping for more information and details of their friendship, but I’m assuming their aren’t many established facts of their relationship to include. Intriguing read into the lives of two infamous women poets!

Courtesy of Netgalley I received the ARC of Three-Martini Afternoons at the Ritz by Gail Crowther. This well researched dual biography of the American poets Ann Sexton and Sylvia Plath reveals how their lives intersected, their similarities and differences. Learning about their backgrounds and life style choices was enlightening. Despite their problems with mental illness, and trying to break through the boundaries of existing in a male dominated literary field, they achieved legendary acclaim, feminists ahead of their time.

History, rivalry, friendships, careers, glitz and glamor. It all here jam packed into this sure to be best seller. If reading about the past is your thing grab this one immediately and enjoy.

Formatted to focus on individual aspects of their lives, the chapters are sectioned to cover the youth, marriages, motherhood, writing, mental illnesses, and suicides of these two talented poets.

Sex: Author Gail Crowther included numerous details about each poets' sex life, with both being "unusually sexually liberated for the time." Prior to reading this book, I didn't know that Plath had ever really written anything about her sex life but knowing her estranged husband controlled the publication of her posthumous journals, it is easy to see how those thoughts and writings didn't previously make it into the public eye. I had known about Sexton's rock-star style sex life, but I did not know that she sexually abused her daughter.

Personal rant on Ted Hughes: Hughes repeatedly cheated on Plath and left her for their neighbor, Assia Wevill. He shrugged off all parental responsibility to galavant around Spain with Wevill while Plath had to downsize her home, move her children, and try to juggle their care and her work--all on her own. He told Plath of Wevill's pregnancy and then "went off to spend the weekend with another woman he was seeing, Susan Alliston, deliberately dodging being available for Plath in case she tried calling him" on the day of her death. He also prevented Plath's mother, Aurelia from receiving a letter that Plath wrote prior to her suicide, telling Aurelia if she kept bothering him for it she would never get to see her grandchildren. Also, since they were still legally married at the time of her death, Hughes held "full control over all her assets and copyright to her work" due to her not having a will, "a fact that many of her friends found astounding since it was out of character." According to Hughes, Plath's final two journals and an incomplete manuscript were “lost.” This control of Plath's voice even after her death is beyond infuriating to me.

Another Round: I knew a lot about both Plath and Sexton but learned many new details about each woman while reading Three-Martini Afternoons at the Ritz. Each of these women faced her own personal and professional struggles, but the parallels in their lives were fascinating. One can't help but wonder if they each had better support systems and received access to modern mental health care, would that have been able to better handle some of the tragedies of their lives? Prior to reading this I wasn't aware that Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton ever crossed paths, let alone were in a writing workshop and would frequently have drinks together afterwards. Could you imagine being a fly on the wall for that?!

Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton created poems that the world will never forget even though they died at very young ages. Reading their stories and how their lives intertwined was enlightening. Their friendship was real but their personal insecurities and jealousies were always just below the surface and the way they handled the limitations and expectations of their times was so interesting. Crowther's writing draws you in and makes this work of nonfiction feel as colorful as a novel and some of the tidbits she exposes - Plath was funny! - make these larger than life figures feel all the more human.

Thanks to Gallery Books and NetGalley for the copy to review.

An interesting and pointed exploration of the the ways Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton were so different yet similar. The synopsis (or perhaps my misconceptions) lead me to believe they interacted frequently, but it's really only a silver of time. These two larger than life personalities were investigated here - sometimes a bit academically - and I learned a good deal.

<i>Thank you to NetGalley for a digital copy of this novel for my honest review</i>

<b>Am I really an English teacher if I don't really like Sylvia Plath? Am I really an English teacher if I've never read or even really knew who Anne Sexton was?</b> Yikes.

To be fair I'm not a <i>real</i> English teacher...just a fake one. Since I can teach Social Studies I guess I can teach English is my school's rationale. I adore books and reading and literature, but my English skills usually end about there. When it comes to poetry...I am about as dense as they come. If it isn't spoon fed to me, I probably have no idea what the poet is trying to say.

I don't know what prompted me to request/read this non-fiction novel on two women I really don't know or perhaps even care about? Maybe that in itself is what drove me to be curious and explore this topic more. Unfortunately, my curiosity was not enough for me to connect with this novel.

Knowing my background on these two ladies may help you make a decision on whether to explore this book or not. I'll start off with what I actually really liked:
(1) The words and quotes from Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton. My favorite part were the words themselves from the authors...this book is actually driving me to read both of them in more detail and to even give [book:The Bell Jar|6514] another shot. I feel like in my older-age, I have developed more of an appreciation for certain texts. Was I an A-typical college girl who attempted to adore Sylvia Plath? Yes. Did it work? No. Maybe now is the time.

(2) Feminism. I appreciated the conversations about <i>why</i> these two females are so revered and their overall impact on female literature. Also, the author included tidbits on roadblocks females still face in the publishing industry which I found super insightful and intriguing!

What I didn't like:
*In general, the readability of this book is allllllllll over the place. Yes, this is a non-fiction novel, but on one page you could be reading a paragraph on Sylvia, then Anne, then back to Sylvia. There were giant info-dumps and just so much time jumping and author jumping. When I reflect on my reading experience on this novel, the content and the women themselves drove me to finish the novel and hear their stories, but the disjointed, unorganized writing prevented me from truly enjoying it.

I hate to say it because I did enjoy quite a bit of the information the author compiled, but when it is presented and written in such a way, it can detract from the general flow and enjoyability of the work. I appreciate the research and quotes the Gail Crowther included and I thank her for this review copy.