A book about male friendships and how it's de-prioritized as guys get older, resulting in loneliness being "an underappreciated public health threat." The author references lots of studies to back up his claims - as well as the overwhelming response to an article he wrote for the Boston Globe which is one of it's most popular articles. The book is written in a very easy conversational tone. Whereas I'm not a guy, it's easy to see the nuggets of wisdom dropped - like men like to bond over activities, not really talking on the phone - plus why this is happening in our society (surprise surprise -tv and social media get blamed). The book does offer some solutions too -mainly how the author took control of his own life after writing the article and the steps he took to right his friendships

Billy Baker found himself completely absorbed in his career and young family at the age of forty. After an assignment from his editor “to write about how middle-aged men have no friends”, Baker had time to reflect on the shift in priorities and the gradual loss of his closest friendships. The incredible response to the assignment from readers led Baker to attempt to improve his friendships and make some new ones while also balancing all that comes along with work, marriage, and career.

This memoir is so relatable. It became apparent to me that friendship was no longer what it once was after I had my daughter. I spent my twenties completely wrapped up in my career and enjoying marriage. The lunches/dinners with friends to catch up waned and soon we were all just hitting “like” on social media posts when exhausted at the end of a long day. Once my daughter was born and I had a few weeks at home alone with her, I was surprised by the loneliness (and sleep deprivation) I felt. We’d traded the connection of catching up face to face with the time-saving thumbs up of a social media post. How did we let that happen?

Baker’s conversational writing style makes this a fast read. The stats he throws in are not only interesting but surprising as well and never feel like info dumping.
Do I think he would’ve put in such an effort to rekindle friendships if it weren’t part of a work assignment? *shrugs*
Am I glad that he did so that I could read this book? Absolutely.

Two of my favorite quotes from this book:

“Overthinking shit is my favorite recreational drug.” *

“First, as a matter of fact, we are less busy now than ever, and automation has no doubt helped with that. Those hours you waste dumb-thumbing through Instagram or trying to choose something to watch on Netflix do not count as busy. And second, one must not confuse a ‘busy life’ with a ‘full life’. That bait and switch has gone on too long. So I’ll repeat again: We’ve been misinformed by the misinformed.” *

Thanks to Avid Reader Press / Simon & Schuster for an ARC in exchange for my honest review. We Need to Hang Out: A Memoir of Making Friends is scheduled for release on January 26, 2021.

* Quotes included are from a digital advanced reader’s copy and are subject to change upon final publication.

Thank you so much to Netgalley and the publisher for the arc. This book provided some really good insight into male friendship, that I don't think I have ever really thought about before. A lot of the information in the book isn't new information but it was nice to get a man's perspective on friendship and how important it is.

‘We Need to Hang Out’ by Billy Baker is a well-researched memoir largely about male friendship in adulthood. This book grew from a popular Boston Globe article Baker wrote in 2017 about loneliness and his personal experience with it. As Baker echoes, loneliness is an epidemic affecting millions of Americans. After having children, like many of us, he found himself absent of those friendships that were so important to him when he was younger. It reminded me of another book on friendship I read this year, ‘Big Friendship’ by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman, but this is the flip side of the coin as it’s about male friendship and specifically about gradually disappearing friendships in adulthood. Some of the research presented was the same, but I gleaned a lot from this book. Baker presents a very affable, relatable tone and I really enjoyed his adventurous nature and eagerness to improve his friendships. Throughout the book, he explains research on friendship and actively pursues his own friendships in unique and sometimes daring ways. Although the takeaways aren’t exactly surprising—make friendship a priority, be vulnerable/honest with friends, and share activities—it cemented how important these things are and that many of us could strongly benefit from being more intentional about how we spend our time.

Thank you Avid Reader Press/Simon & Schuster and NetGalley for providing this ARC.