This book is written for those who have a BPD person in their lives, not for those who suffer from it. It definitely feels at times as though the authors really dislike people with BPD and it could be a painful read for anyone who has it. If you want validation or permission to set boundaries, it will be extremely helpful. Not the best for parents. They do have a book for parents that's better suited than this one if your child has BPD but that has its drawbacks too.

I received this book from the publisher through Netgalley for review and all thoughts and opinions are my own.
This book is a third edition of the original. Having read the original several years ago, my review will focus on the additions and/or changes to this edition. Overview: clarification of the term BPD, or Borderline Personality disorder, diagnosis, how it affects family members and friends, how to set boundaries, etc. Updates: a focus on men as well as women which was missing from first book, information on narcissistic personality disorder with its usual denial of BPD diagnosis and an expanded, and much anticipated, section on parenting a child with the disorder, plus more resources for assistance and care. Useful tips and helps make for a good understanding of the disorder and knowledge is power to survive and even thrive in spite of the challenges of mental illness in the family.

This book is for people who have been abused by someone with BPD, not people with it. For those of us conditioned to feel we did something to deserve the abuse, or that there's something we can do to make it stop, it's comforting but saddening to know the effects and prognosis of this personality disorder. You don't have to let yourself keep being abused and taken advantage of just because someone else "can't help it". You wouldn't let someone with ebola stay in your house just because they said they didn't want to go to the hospital; emotionally, boundaries need to be set for safety also.

In fact, if you are reading this book because you suspect a loved one has BPD, it's best not to tell them or let them see you read this book. From the opening chapter:

"As you read this book, you may be eager to talk about what you’re learning
with the person you believe has the disorder. This is understandable. The
fantasy goes like this: a light bulb will go on in the person’s head, they will
be grateful to you, and they will rush into therapy to conquer their demons.

"Unfortunately, the reality usually differs. Your loved one is quite likely to
respond with rage, denial, a torrent of criticism, and accusations that you are
the one with the disorder.

"Other scenarios are possible, too. A person with BPD traits may feel such
shame and despair that they attempt to hurt or kill themselves. Or they may
use the information to deny responsibility for their behavior, as in, “I can’t
help what I do; I’ve got BPD.”

I had read an earlier edition, but this one is worth getting for the updated information on comorbidity with narcissistic personality disorder.

Thank you to the publishers and NetGalley for the opportunity to review a temporary digital ARC in exchange for an unbiased review.

Good luck to all who are suffering. Life can be better, but the transition is not easy.

'Stop walking on Eggshells' was one of the first books on the poorly understood mental illness, Borderline Personality Disorder.

This is the third edition of this book which has been cited as a core reference for BPD.

While it is a milestone book for this illness, I found that people who suffered from BPD often criticized this book for its emphasis on dangers posed by people who have this horrific illness.

Given that the diagnoses of BPD comprises 5 of 9 different traits, it stands to reason that there are many different expressions of the illness, so to spend so much time repeating the mantra to ‘protect yourself’ from people suffering from BPD seems a bit overblown and I can understand why sufferers do not like this book.

BPD patients are usually intelligent but very sensitive to certain triggers, I imagine that if someone diagnosed with this illness, were to read this, would be faced with a lot of information that may seem confronting to them. I wonder if this taken into consideration by the authors - if they feel a duty of care to BPD sufferers, that the very people they describe as sensitive and prone to abject shame, low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness might read this, and how it might affect them.

For people who know someone who has BPD or who they suspect may suffer from this illness, the book does have a lot of good information. However, it is a bit disorganized and could be streamlined better so that readers who are looking to see the traits they or their loved ones exhibit, can go to those specific chapters and not have to dwell on the other irrelevant sections, such as self-harm or indeed violence against others if it is not relevant to them.

However, despite these shortcomings, this book in still an important instrument in shedding light on this illness,

Thanks to NetGallery for making this book available in exchange for an unbiased review.

It was not what I thought it would be but helped me realize some things about different people and their behavior.

This book is kind of a classic in the field and many of you may have read it or have it on your shelf. This is a newly revised and updated third edition and I received it free from Net Galley for my review. They correct some common assumptions here: in the DSM it says only 2% of people have borderline personality disorder (hereafter BPD), but they say it is more like 5.9%. Also, about 40% of people with BPD also have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, so there is new content about that personality disorder too, and how it intersects with BPD. Also, many people assume that BPD is mostly women and they say this is not true – men are just as likely to have it, but they are written off as abusers and violent offenders. All in all, with these statistics, most of us will encounter someone like this in our practice or our life and it’s good information to have.

The layout of the book is begin by describing BPD behavior and figuring out whether or not someone you love or know has the disorder. One of the things I love about this book is that throughout, they have quotes and stories from people with BPD and from people who love them, sharing their experience. And while these stories may not mirror your situation exactly, it is really helpful to read people’s experiences. I also like that they have such a compassionate and empathetic view of BPD clients. They are so careful never to vilify and to be so respectful of how hard it is to cope with these symptoms.

The next large section is about how to work on yourself and protect yourself. One of the main points throughout the book is that you cannot change the BPD person, only they can do that. So you must set limits and boundaries, have consequences for bad behavior, and get your own support. They give several examples of ways to do this in a non-shaming way, since shame is such a trigger for these folks.

Lastly they cover some unique situations – children whose parents have BPD, and parents who have children with BPD. These differ a bit from relationships that you have chosen, and there are some different strategies. Also they cover the fact that sometimes BPD folks do lie and create rumors, especially when the relationship is ending such as divorce. They talk about what to do with self-harming behaviors and suicide threats. And then there is a resource appendix with information on treatments, mindfulness and books/support groups.

All in all, this is valuable information. And although you may not be in relationship or have a client with BPD, like all personality disorders it is a continuum and I think the information here could help with pretty much any relationship where you feel you have to walk on eggshells.

This book is a valuable read for anyone who wants to better understand the psychological diagnoses of borderline personality disorder as well as, someone who personifies a narcissistic personality disorder. This book clearly explains the symptoms of these disorders, how to live with someone with these disorders, how to set boundaries, protecting children from behaviors, and how to help the child/teen with borderline personality/narcissistic personality disorder. This book is very easy to read and includes many resources for individuals living with/affected by someone with BPD/narcissistic personality disorder. The author includes real life vignettes of individuals affected by BPD and family members which really draws the reader in.

People. They're the worst.

That saying might be a tired old cliché to some readers, but for the people this book was written for, that phrase is personal. Lord knows that iit is in my case.

I first heard about Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder, in 2017 from my therapist, who explained that I did not have to exist in the whirlwind of dysfunction and anger that surrounds people close to me who suffer from mental health issues like Borderline Personality Disorder.

In my case, I always think the problem is … well … me. I'm always looking for the thing that will fix the problem, make the other person happy, calm, satisfied, (Insert adjective to describe your situation here.) I am a person who stands back from life, shocked usually, wondering what on earth I did to cause these other people to react the way they do.

Authors Paul T.T. Mason and Randi Kreger ask readers some poignant questions about this conundrum in their fully-revised and updated third-edition Harbinger Publication classic.

"Do you feel manipulated, controlled, or lied to?" Mason and Kreger write. "Are you the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages? Do you feel you are ‘walking on eggshells’ to avoid the next confrontation? If the answer is ‘yes,’ someone you care about may have borderline personality disorder (BPD)—a mood disorder that causes negative self-image, emotional instability, and difficulty with interpersonal relationships."

Walking on Eggshells will help you learn what you can do, reader, to extricate yourself from the continual cycle of greif and pain caused by living near a person with this mental health illness.

Mason and Kreger share the industry's latest research on comorbidity - the simultaneous presence of two or more diseases or medical conditions in a patient; which was the case in one of my situations.

Walking on Eggshells provides extensive new information about narcissistic personality disorder, the effectiveness of schema therapy, and how you can use coping and communication skills to stabilize your relationships.

This book is a compassionate approach to a difficult life problem that will help you set boundaries, stop relying on dangerous behaviors, make sense out of chaos, assert your own needs, defuse arguments and conflicts, and protect yourself and others from violent behaviors.

One phrase people around me chanted over and over for many years actually eventually stuck with me. And finally, along with other circumstances, it prompted me to do something to improve my future.

I hated it when people kindly reminded me: "You don't have to live this way," again and again. They all seemed so smug.

But reader, it's true. You don't. No one is demanding you depart your situation or change your future trajectory. All those choices are yours alone. But, instead, this book seeks to educate you about what is whirring around you, and make decisions that are best for you and those you love.

So, reader, if you are in this situation, please give this book a try. It sold more than a million copies in its first two editions for a reason. It can educate you. It can help.

And, let me be the one to humbly - without any smugness involved - remind you now: You don't have to live this way.

This book was really informative. As someone that has a strong interest in psychology, I found that the author provided great information for those that are close to someone with borderline personality disorder. So few books are geared towards those that put themselves second to those they care for with mental health issues. The author gave insight into the disorder, as well.

This book was received as an ARC from New Harbinger Publications, Inc. in exchange for an honest review. Opinions and thoughts expressed in this review are completely my own.

I have learned a lot from this book even the fact that at one point, I was suffering from borderline personality disorder and knowing where these negative feelings came from and how reliant I have become with them made me scared and lead me down the wrong path that nearly destroyed my life. I an so glad I discovered this book and the information on different personalities and advice of coping and overcoming this disorder especially if you have friends or family that is suffering from this terrible disorder. This book will be really useful for our community.

We will consider adding this title to our Self Help collection at our library. That is why we give this book 5 stars.

I decided to read this as I have a family member who is diagnosed BPD, and a colleague who I strongly suspect is. Plenty of useful information and strategies for dealing with the problems arising from this. Very highly recommended.

The authors have written the third edition of this classic book on Borderline Personality Disorder. They discuss several groups, which can and do overlap: Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder (AKA sociopaths), and Histrionic Personality Disorder. They offer a helpful checklist of things to look for if you suspect someone of having one (or more) of these disorders, and ways of dealing with situations which may result. Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for this ARC.

Excellent resource for anyone with a loved one diagnosed with BPD. It helped me find healthy ways to cope and communicate while still maintaining my boundaries and emotional keel. I would recommend anyone dealing with these family dynamics pick this up. I'll be buying a copy for each member of my family!

I really enjoyed the new additions to this third edition of Stop Walking on Eggshells. Would recommend to families of individuals with BPD.

Excellent resource for anyone who interacts with someone with borderline personality disorder. This book is filled with helpful insights and useful techniques..

I've had my eyes on "Stop Walking on Eggshells" for a long time, so when I saw that an updated version of this classic was coming out, I had to get it. In this book, the authors focus on people suffering as a result of living with someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) or the spectrum of the disorder, truly helping them bring some peace and stability to their lives.

It's no exaggeration to say that this book is a lifeline. Anyone who has ever wived with a person with borderline, or been in a relationship with one, knows how difficult, damaging, paralyzing it can be. It's terrifying that a disorder can affect the wellbeing of the whole family to an unspeakble extent, which is why Mason and Kreger's work is so important.

This book became a world bestseller for a good reason. While reading a book won't replace therapy, it truly opened my eyes to various problems as well as solutions associated with my relationship. As opposed to other books in this genre, this one doesn't assume you can just up and leave the person hurting you because real life is much more complicated than that. "Stop Walking on Eggshells" definitely lives up to its promise of making sense of the chaos and defusing arguments and conflicts.

*Thank you to the Publisher for a free advance copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This book is very informative. It is an important book if someone either has BPD or lives with or loves someone with it. It offers a positive view and several ideas how to handle this disorder and still love the person. I think that understanding a disorder is vital when making decisions on how to deal with it. It also validates the feelings of both parties in the sense that people with BPD don't choose to have it and people who love them, WANT to love them, and find ways to cope and make life livable with them.

It is hard to determine if someone you love has BPD to the fullest extent or if they are people who just have bad tempers or bad coping skills though. Those who read this and want to diagnose a loved one may be confused because a lot of behaviors fit the BPD diagnosis if we want it to but it may not be what they actually have. Without a professional opinion by a psychologist we must tread lightly when diagnosing this ourselves.

All in all, this book is great. It is very beneficial when someone needs help deciding what to do in critical situations with those who have this disorder or at least someone with similar behaviors. Thanks to NetGalley and New Harbinger Publications, Inc. for the ARC of the Third Edition of this book and trusting me to give an honest review.

I read Stop Walking on Eggshells because I know someone with a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder and their psychiatric nurse recommended this book as a resource for friends and family of those with BPD. I confess to not knowing much about BPD before picking this up, and the person I know doesn’t suffer from the violent/manipulative/self-harming outbursts that are described in this book, but for those who find themselves constantly “walking on eggshells” around loved ones with the disorder, I can see how this would be valuable. It should be stressed that this is a self help book for those who know someone with BPD, not a resource for those with the diagnosis, but if you need help “taking your life back” (as per the subtitle), the authors outline many helpful tips: from setting boundaries and active listening to calling 911 and documenting spousal abuse before a divorce or custody hearing. The writing is informal and accessible, includes countless stories from people with BPD and those around them, and certainly seems to fill a need.