I couldn't get through this title. It ended up not being for me, but I hope it finds a hope with other readers.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publishers for giving me an advanced copy of this book to read and review.

I love memoirs and was intrigued by this book because it is out of my wheelhouse. Like some others had mentioned, I was looking forward to a road trip style book with stories interspersed, but I struggled with the format. Thrilled to see so many others loved this book, though.

This is a raw, honest memoir about self discovery and liberation. We see the abuse she was subjected to and her trauma. It touches on topics like religion, culture, sexuality, race, and so much more.

Excellent book that unravels some of the most important moments in Jarrar's life, including her experience with familial and partner abuse, her experiences with self-discovery and sexual liberation, and most importantly, the statelessness of being Palestinian and the intergenerational trauma that ensues. Culture, religion, politics, sexuality, and literature are all discussed.

If you are looking for a raw, unflinching memoir that delves into issues of race, class, place, identity, sexuality, and body positivity, this book is for you. It's not, however, a travel memoir, even though Randa Jarrar explores many locales within Love Is an Ex-Country. This is definitely one I'd recommend.

Many thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for sharing this book with me. All thoughts are my own.

In her vulnerable and raw memoir 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘐𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘌𝘹-𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘺, Randa Jarrar, a queer Arab-American, recounts a childhood marred by domestic abuse which was replicated in her own marriage as well as her journey of healing and forgiveness. She writes passionately about being a fat woman—both “invisible and hypervisible”—and how that invites unwanted judgment.

Jarrar writes compelling stories. In one chapter she analyzes the responses to her highly charged tweet about Barbara Bush after the former First Lady’s death when critics called for her to lose her job and even issued death threats.

An emotional chapter describes how she was detained at the Tel Aviv airport while attempting to visit her sister who lives in Israel while a surprising essay argues that “kinky sex” is a source of restoration and safety because there is always a discussion of consent.

𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘐𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘌𝘹-𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘺 made me think and empathize and at times shocked me. It’s a fearless memoir in which Jaffar is not afraid to ask difficult questions of society of herself.

This is a must-read book for anyone interested in intersectional feminism and queer writing of people of color. Jarrar wrote about her experiences of being a Queer Arab American woman in a honest and impactful way. She used examples of her experiences to highlight her points. She spoke about the sexism she faced when speaking out about politics and social issues.

Thank you to Catapult and NetGalley for the Reader's Copy!

Now available.

Jarring and honest, Love is an Ex Country is Randa Jarrar's exploration of identity - both physically and emotionally. Inspired by an Egyptian dancer, Jarrar decides to trace her journey throughout North America. Each location delves into Jarrar's life, both past and present. This book does go into some really heavy subjects including childhood abuse and trauma, domestic violence and racial trauma.

What I enjoyed was Jarrar's candid tone and her resolution. Yes she did experience horror and yes she did experience targeted racial violence. But she kept fighting and eventually found a moment of peace with her abuser, with her audience, within herself. Reading this book was almost like going to therapy myself & finally being seen and understood. I thank Jarrar for writing with such beautiful, sparse and touching prose.

Randa Jarrar, the author of “Love Is an Ex-Country,” is complicated. She was born in Chicago to refugees parents—her father an abusive Palestinian and her mother a submissive Egyptian. All her life, she’s continuously encouraged (mostly by men) to shrink—physically, emotionally, racially. But she cannot. She is bold and loud, exuding confidence, wit and strong (abrasive) opinions.

She writes: “Sexuality, pain, love, obedience, hurt: all are woven together in the loom that is my body, that is my skin and my heart.”

Passing for white, Jarrar grew up “on the move.” She’s lived in Egypt, Kuwait, Connecticut, California, Michigan and Texas. She’s an accomplished writer and tenured professor. And she’s a self-described fat woman (size 22), a proud Arab, a libidinous queer and a twice-divorced mother.

In her memoir, Jarrar shares widely on a range of topics. And, boy, does she go there, tackling relationships and belonging, trauma and shame, politics and systemic racism, sex and kink. She also shares what it’s like to be a magnet to abusive men, to be on the run as a refugee and what it’s like to feel erased. In her stories, there’s joy and pain, and she doesn’t hold back about either emotion.

One story in particular was very enlightening. She spoke about sneaking out as a 17-year-old (to meet a boy) only to return home to be horribly beaten by her father. (A frequent occurrence). “So I left. What I learned from this was that no one would ever want the burden of caring for me, of healing me, not for the next 20 years, not ever. I had to do everything myself. Later, I understood that we all do.”

Special thanks to Catapult for this advanced readers copy, via NetGalley. This is my voluntary review.

I made the mistake of going into this thinking it was more of a travel-type memoir, documenting the author's roadtrip & the struggles she faces as a Muslim woman traveling in the US. (You know, the roadtrip mentioned in every description, hinted at the very beginning - inspired by dancer Tahia Carioca's similar trip.) I did not get that at all. Instead this was a weaving journey of a memoir that at some points didn't make much sense & leaned a little too heavily into all the sex the author has. That's fine - just not what I was expecting. Admittedly I don't read a lot of memoirs & I think maybe I'm not the reader for this one (which, again, is okay). I'll also admit I had no idea who Randa Jarrar was before reading this book & perhaps that factored in as well. In the end this was a short book that I wouldn't have finished had it been longer as I just was not interested in what was written on the pages at all. I do see there are glowing reviews for this one, mine just isn't one of them.

Thanks to Netgalley and Catapult for the ARC in return for an honest review.

This book had me conflicted. I protested the entire time - that the book in front of me was absolutely not what I expected - but was unable to actually stop reading it. Love is an Ex-Country begins as, what seemed to me, a compilation of essays, kind of like think pieces, which drew from Jarrar’s life but were not centered around her. But they were?! Jarrar’s writing is captivating. She knows how to tell a story that leaves the reader both satisfied and longing for more. I absolutely would not call it a memoir of a cross-country road trip but I wasn’t disappointed reading it. Jarrar touches on several themes - physical abuse, relationships, identity, fatphobia and lots of sex. Her account, simultaneously gritty and humorous, offers perspective and is thought-provoking; a read that I thoroughly enjoyed.

This memoir is no holds bar! This author is extremely open and brave in how she tells her story. Her story is raw and, often times, heart-breaking. But, what I also felt behind her words was a sense of strength and resilience. I was rooting for her to win, for her to champion over the areas of her life where she felt that sense of smallness, and she did.

This memoir was very hard to read sometimes but I think it’s a story that needs to be told. There were some beautiful moments and some heart wrenching moments that made my heart hurt for her. Just a warning though some of the trauma she describes is disturbing and can overwhelm you. This story is not for the faint of heart

I was unable to review this book because it was removed from my collection before I had an opportunity to finish the book. At the third mark, I was engrossed and enjoying this book.

Definitely an interesting memoir. At times what the author talks about is some pretty powerful and gut wrenching stuff and it's hard not to feel your own heart break a little.

3.5/5 Stars

Think of this as a book of essays not a linear memoir set around a road trip, True, Jarrar uses the road trip to frame her thoughts and it is a metaphor but this is not a straightforward read. She delves into the physical abuse she suffered as a child and as a partner, the verbal abuse she's heard about non-Caucasians, the politics of sex and so on. She's angry but she's also funny at times. It's a bit uneven (depending on her passion about. subject) but it's also quite interesting. Thanks to Netgalley for the ARC.

“And I also write what I like. And say what I like. And fuck whomever I like.”

Randa Jarrar’s memoir, Love Is An Ex-Country, is an overwhelming and brutally honest account of her recollections of life, complete with the joys, bumps, and bruises of any road trip. Her struggles with family, identity, sexuality, artistry, politics and how she’s come to understand them are explicitly explored. Not for the faint of heart, but certainly a very necessary story.

3.75 stars!

Thanks to NetGalley and Catapult for gifting this e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Publication Date: February 2, 2021

I think this was the real life story I was looking for during this crazy time. While diving into heavier topics, it is done in a lighter way then you would expect. The author's journey became part of my own, when exploring fat positivity and queerness and in turn i learned more about the racism that is experienced by Muslims still and more about the difficulties of growing up an immigrant. It is an easy story to love and some will find every reason to hate a woman that loves herself. Highly recommended.

This book was....exactly what I needed. It's fantastic and poignant and so well written. It gave me a sense of hope, and a sense of solidarity. I couldn't think of a better book to read a time like this, when so much is uncertain and so much is changing. She navigates her identity, her relationships, and love with such wisdom and grace, and it is so far from a cliche. Going to recommend this to everyone I know!