Okay, first and foremost, I adore the way Sidney Bell portrays the polyamorous love triad in This Is Not The End. She gives both Cal and Zac a healthy bisexual identity, and Anya’s secure in her sexuality and not afraid to voice her needs. While I was concerned over the amount of time spent with these characters as they introspective battles about the validity and “rightness” of their wants and needs—paired with them then turning around and essentially saying “F*ck anyone who isn’t okay with who we are”—I feel the overall portrayal was well done. I just wish there would’ve been some external conflict in the story outside them trying to decide whether their love and lust for one another would or should be accepted by the outside world.

That being said, I think a lot of their concerns are valid—there are a lot of hateful people out there who don’t accept things that aren’t exactly as they believe they should be. But I do wish Zac, Cal, and Anya would’ve made the decision to put their love above all else a little earlier and had a larger conflict in the story that stood in the way of them finding their HEA.

Now, all that aside, I really did love this story. It had brief but steamy love scenes—lots of them!—and I think it handled the dynamics of the triad very well. I felt the love from all sides and it wasn’t something that felt forced or unnatural for the characters.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is into erotic romance and who loves love. I think this would be a wonderful read for anyone who wants more diverse romance couplings in their reading world.

Rock star Zac and his wife Anya - a former model turned photographer - have a solid and spicy marriage. They’ve been together for three years and have an adorable baby boy. They also like to occasionally bring home strangers for a night of fun. When Anya brings up the idea of inviting Cal, Zac’s best friend and bandmate of 20 years into their bed for Zac’s birthday celebration, Zac doesn’t know what to say. Cal’s one of the most important people in his life and he’s worried that asking Cal to bed could ruin what they already have.

Reading the first half of the book, from Anya’s POV, I had deep reservations about what was happening. Anya’s proposal came off as being frivolous, especially considering the amount of damage that could happen if this all went sideways, not only to Zac and Cal’s personal relationship, but to their professional relationship. It’s a big jump from bringing home strangers to a one night stand with your husband’s bestie. To further complicate things, Anya doesn’t even like Cal. She frequently complains that he’s boring, pointing out that he never shares opinions and is maddeningly polite. His main charm is that he is a baby whisperer and loves taking care of their child, PJ. Honestly, reading the first half, I felt like I learned only superficial information about Anya and Zac and would have loved to know more; I just did not feel invested in them but I was curious about how things would work out with Cal.

The second half was much better! This is from Cal’s POV and you learn about his personal struggles and why he’s originally so resistant to the idea of sleeping with Anya and Zac (he doesn’t do casual sex and wants a real relationship with them). I felt like in this half I really got to see Zac as a fully fleshed out character - a ride or die friend who will do whatever it takes to help Cal. Reading Cal as he struggles with what it means to be in love with two people - a married couple - and worrying about where he fits in their family was deeply emotional and I loved it. It was lovely to read how the three of them work through issues and settle into a domestic routine of sharing chores, baby duty, etc. Of course, as with most books about relationships, big miscommunications happen and characters develop incorrect ideas about certain situations, but I’m happy to report that these problems are solved in the best way!

In the end, I really enjoyed this book! I haven’t read many books that feature a polyamorous love story and I always wish there were more out there. This one had realistic pacing of both the physical and emotional layers of the relationship. Anya is the firebrand and instigator, the new blood in the lives of Zac and Cal, and she is quite adept at getting them together and getting them to talk. Zac is a wild child (man, he’s 39) but he’s devoted and it was a joy to read him about him opening his heart up to Cal. Cal is the guy who just wants to be loved and have a family and boy does he get that! Reading the epilogue, from Zac’s POV, was a nice way to round out the book and see what the future brings to this rock star/model family.

I’ve read my fair share of polyamorous romance through the years and I usually find them to be incredibly moving or dreadfully awkward. But from the very beginning, I knew that This Is Not the End would be something… more.

Sidney’s characters are connected on a level that I haven’t seen before. The care and maturity with which she approaches their unique relationship is striking. Nothing is contrived. She makes it feel as natural as breathing – even when emotions run high.

“Are we bombs now? She asked, and he said very seriously, Yes, I think so. Maybe that’s the price for getting to have something this powerful.”

It’s the love that really shines through. The love of Anya and Zac and their absolute commitment to their marriage. The love of Cal and Zac that could only come from years of devoted friendship. And the love that they all shower on their infant son, PJ. Through thick and thin. Come what may. It’s exactly the way it should be.

So don’t be surprised if you end up leaving just a little bit of your heart behind in these pages…

“We’ll work on you,” she promises. “Eventually we’ll make it that you won’t be so afraid to lose good things that you don’t risk reaching for them.”
“Everything will be okay in the end,” Zac says. He sounds half-asleep, and his foot fidgets out randomly a couple of times before he finds Cal’s calf for a nudge. “C’mon. Finish it. ‘Everything will be okay in the end…”
Cal sighs. “If it isn’t okay, it isn’t the end.”
“John Lennon wouldn’t lie to us, man.”

Voilà un peu plus de deux ans que j'attendais une nouvelle parution de Sidney Bell. Lorsque j'ai vu cette sortie pointer le bout de son nez dans sa newsletter, j'ai été surprise de voir qu'il s'agissait d'un MMF. Très peu attirée par ce genre de romance, j'ai décidé de faire confiance à cet auteur que j'adore.

Comme je le disais, je ne suis pas attirée par le MMF. C'est le premier vrai MMF que je lis d'ailleurs (mon premier étant un MFM). J'ai démarré ce roman en connaissance de cause et je pense avoir suffisamment l'esprit ouvert pour pouvoir me faire une idée de l'histoire.

Je suis un peu embêtée, car oui j'adore l'auteur, son style, sa plume. Mais, je n'ai pas été super emballée par ma lecture...

Le premier souci a été pour moi le démarrage. Le couple formé par Zac et Anya est un couple plutôt ouvert et aime partager leur lit avec une tierce personne qui est tojours un homme. Cet aspect de leur couple est mis en avant d'emblée, en première page, voire même première ligne. Ils ont jeté leur dévolu sur leur ami de longue date Cal.

Ensuite, l'essentiel de l'histoire tourne autour de ça... Personnellement, j'ai eu du mal à m'attacher aux personnages, à me sentir concernée par leur couple, ou plutôt trouple.
J'aurais eu besoin de plus de développement, de leurs histoires à chacun, plus de matières, du contexte.

Après, dans la seconde moitié, l'auteur traite des insécurités de Cal, de ses incertitudes. J'ai bien aimé ces passages mais pour moi, ça n'allait pas trop avec le reste, car il m'a manqué quelque chose pour adhérer vraiment à l'ensemble, à leur histoire. Dans cette seconde partie, on va un peu plus en profondeur des choses aussi...

Je m'attendais à plus, à plus de pages c'est certain, à plus de développement pour un sujet qui est, pour moi, difficile à comprendre, plus de psychologie. Je n'ai pas été suffisamment immiscée dans la vie de ces personnages... On passe presque du tout au rien dans certains cas de figure. Mais c'est uniquement mon ressenti. J'aurais souhaité que la relation que Cal entretient avec Zac et Anya soit plus exploitée. On sait qu'il a un lien fort avec Zac, mais ça ne va pas plus loin, excepté lorsqu'il se montre un peu plus vers la fin.

Le personnage avec lequel j'ai eu plus de mal est Anya. Autant, elle a un caractère fort, elle sait ce qu'elle veut, mais d'un autre côté, je l'ai trouvé irrespectueuse vis à vis de Cal et de l'amitié entre Cal et Zac. Elle semble se radoucir par la suite, mais elle passe du tout au rien. Pour elle, inviter Cal dans son lit était juste pour le fun, puis ensuite on lui dit : non faut que ce soit sérieux et d'un coup vive le couple à 3 et les petits oiseaux ! ahah

L'auteur a osé en tout cas un nouveau genre, et elle l'a fait dans le respect des désirs de chacun, des deux hommes et de la femme. Les scènes sensuelles sont très bien écrites il faut dire aussi !

Je n'ai peut-être pas tout capté, tout compris, ou été moins sensible à cette histoire que d'autres le seraient et à ce que l'auteur a essayé de faire passer. Je serai de toute façon présente pour la sortie du prochain roman de Sidney Bell, qui je l'espère, ne tardera pas trop longtemps.

I'm so torn with this story. This is my first by this author and the subject matter is what prompted me to read. I always enjoy a great polyamory or MMF story and this one sounded so very promising. It wasn't horrible by any stretch but for some reason it hit the mark for me for some reason. I struggled to finish it because I wasn't remotely invested in the story. I guess I just didn't connect with any of the characters for the most part. What I DID love about it is how Anya and Zac came together to show Cal that he was worthy of all he was looking for and that it was possible to love and be loved by more than one person. 3.5 stars and yes I'd read this author again only because so many love her that maybe it is just this story that missed the mark.

Zac and Anya are a unique couple. He's a rockstar, and she's a former model turned photographer. They got married when she got pregnant, but marriage didn't change much about their hedonistic lifestyle. They still like to bring an extra male pick-up to their bedroom from time to time, but it doesn't change who they are and their love for each other.

As a birthday present for Zac, Anya wants to invite his best friend and bandmate, Cal, to their bed. She's sure there's some chemistry there, but Cal isn't one to open himself to personal conversations, so she really doesn't know much about him. She's quickly able to determine that he is attracted to her, but somehow even Zac isn't sure if Cal is bisexual. But when we're reading a polyamorous love story, we can be pretty sure all three of them will end up getting along.

The sex scenes were steamy (or I'm just old and out of practice). But Anya's prowess as a brilliant, ultra-mature communicator felt a little forced. Her biggest role in the store seemed to be facilitating understanding and navigating all secrets and conflicts for Zac and Cal. Oh, and every once in a while we were reminded that they had a child together, so they were a real family.

I can overlook a lot just to enjoy a happy ending. Because 'end' was in the title, I kept expecting the final chapters of the book to not be happy. Without offering too much of a spoiler, I thought the ending of the book, and how the book ended up with its title, just perfect. Overall I'd give this book 3 out of 5 stars and recommend it for those who enjoy reading about non-traditional relationships.

3 "affirming, sweet, needs a fair bit of work" stars !!

Thank you to Netgalley, the author and Carina Press for an e-copy in exchange for an honest review. This book is to be released next week on January 11, 2021.

First of all a full five stars for the inclusivity of bisexual triads as a legitimate family choice.

This book had me melting like warm honey, fired me up with passion at other times. What Ms. Bell does well she does excellently.

- a deep understanding and respect for male bisexual identity
- a deep understanding and respect for female sexuality that is in touch with her own needs without shame or guilt
- a deep understanding of interpersonal dynamics and barriers to relationship and romantic fulfillment
-very hot (but short) erotic scenes that stoke the loins
-also I adore the book cover....rather than the typical huge pecs and breasts that are on the cover of most of these types of books !!

This book, however, needs a fair bit of work
-transitions can be abrupt
-storyline needs more conflict
-deeper etching of character's psychologies
-dialogue that takes away rather than adds to the emotional impact of the story

I would classify this as an erotic romance. I truly hope that Ms. Bell continues to work on her craft as I can see huge potential for her not only to write excellent romance but perhaps also delve into literary fiction.

I have some mixed feelings about this book. I was so thrilled about it because I’ve being wanting to read this author for such a long time. Sadly, I was a little disappointed.

The writing is good. Just not captivating as I would expect. It is very slow paced, which made it a little boring, at least it was for me, and it was also hard to keep the initial interest I had. There were a few things I liked about it, but the ones I didn’t had more weight in my overall perception of the book.

What I did liked about the book was Cal and mostly everything about him. He was, by far, the most interesting character in the book, I guess that’s the reason why the author gave him the biggest spotlight and left the other two a little more in the background, particularly Zack. I loved the most the part of the book that gives the reader an insight of his internal struggle. He was fascinating. I love what he had to fight against and how hard it was. I won’t say much about it because it is an spoiler, but getting to know him better and see his point of view, save this book for me.

What I didn’t liked were a lot of things. First, there is Anya. I was glad to see a woman who seems to be strong, but I don’t really think the word really suits her. She came as rather rude and with no respect for boundaries. She annoyed me so much. There was also Zack, who didn’t really seem like a main character to me, he hadn’t too much to say and I don’t think I really got to meet him. Even then, he was usually involved in the scenes I liked the most. As for the pairing, it didn’t really work for me. I might be bias here, because I’m not big fan of ménages, but I’ve read some and the pairing seem perfect. Not this once. I don’t really think they seem in love with each other and that bother me a lot. There is love, for sure. I don’t doubt it. But it felt more like a friends love, not really like lovers. I guess that was the main reason this book didn’t work for me. I couldn’t felt real emotions between them.

Overall it was ok, but only ok. I think I might start with the wrong book by the author, and since I got to see a little of what she is capable of, I wouldn’t hesitate on trying again and read more of her book. I also think that, even the book didn’t work that well for me, there might be other reader who could enjoy it.

I was incredibly excited to see a new release on the horizon for this author. Sidney Bell’s books never fail to pull me in and make me feel. Better yet, This Is Not the End includes rockstars, a trope I read a ton of years ago but less often these days. While a polyamorous relationship that focuses on the emotions and characters’ stories rather than just the physical connection is rare, I had no doubt Miss Bell would succeed.

Imagine my surprise when I struggled with the first few chapters. I must have stopped and started a handful of times once the book landed on my kindle. The beginning felt clumsy for this author, or rather I felt thrust into a story without a handhold, only to come face to face with Anya, a character who oozed confidence but I didn’t much like- at least initially. Once I read through some of the awkward first moments and exchanges between Anya and Cal though, the book and characters sunk its teeth into me. And, as I’ve come to expect, the author’s ability to create varied, vibrant characters who expose a slew of emotions on page wove its magic.

What was different was Zac and Anya. I really liked how they coached and supported Cal through his bumps, questions, and nerve, but Zac and Anya felt so different than most of this author’s characters. In hindsight, I think that’s what threw me at first. They’re seemingly light, happy, and without a care in the world. However, it’s those qualities along with their comfort in their own skins and trust in their love that makes this polyamorous romance work. This Is Not the End may at first feel different from this author’s other books, but really it just demonstrates her range and talent. The raw emotions, great characters, and memorable story that showcases the power of love are all still there and ensure I’ll be back for more.

I love this book. It is rare to read a book about polygamy without it just being about sex. Sidney Bell breaks the trope mold with an in-depth and thoughtful relationship about what it means to mean polyamorous and how Anya, Zac, and Cal navigate it.

Polyamory is not easy. There are many books that indicate differently, but that is just romantic fiction. There is nothing wrong with that, but it is rare to find a book that is sensitive to everyone’s issues regarding this lifestyle choice and need. This Is Not The End is this rare book.

I love everyone in the book. Bell does not make easy choices and neither do the characters. Anya is smart-mouth to where she can almost be annoying. Zac and Anya have an honest open relationship which welcomes fly-by interludes. Zac either watches or joins in. Their life has slowed down a bit since the birth of their child, but their beliefs have stayed the same.

Anya has realized that it is time to play again and just starts randomly thinking of people. In an out-of-the-blue moment, Anya asks Zac about his best friend Cal. Zac and Cal have known each other for 20 years. They started a band together and have been riding the road of success (though there have been tough years). Cal has witnessed all of the partying that Zac has participated in.

Now this is where all of the relationships get tricky because how well do we really know ourselves and each other? Bell navigates us through addiction, shame, and the struggles of intimacy within a couple never mind including a full-time third. At times Cal’s pain is hard to read. We get to know the real Cal as Anya and Zac start to peel back the layers that Cal hides behind.

Bell writes about how hard communication can be and how we have to change our thinking sometimes, such as Anya and Zac safe-wording while arguing. I think the most important lesson is one that Anya learns and this to listen. There is a reactionary moment regarding Cal’s opinion on their lifestyle, but Anya has been judging Cal along. I find her growth as a person really indicates how much people have to change to engage in a poly relationship. Love is not really the answer, it might get through some tough times, but there has to be more.

This Is Not The End does have some fun scenes too, it is not all talk (laugh). There is laughter, music, and family. Sidney Bell provides everything that is hard and great about poly life and I loved it.

I received an ARC of this book and I am writing a review without prejudice and voluntarily.

This was my first time reading a polyamorous romance and I absolutely loved the story of Zac, Anya, and Cal. In the beginning, I wasn't sure how I felt about Anya and her sharp tongue. She wouldn't let things go, was insulting as hell, and was way too quick to pout. However, as things progressed in her getting to know Cal, I started to see a softer side. I struggled at times with Cal's inability to carry on an adult conversation and the ongoing pity party that he was having, but I also loved slowly watching him come out of his shell. This book has some seriously hot and sexy scenes, making me wonder why I haven't read any m/m romances, but even better is the overall theme of family and love, regardless of what that looks like. This is definitely an author I will read again.

*Thanks to NetGalley for providing this ARC in exchange for my honest opinion.

This Is Not The End by Sidney Bell is a full length, stand-alone romance, a polyamorous story that I had high expectations reading. And what can I say, I was so not disappointed, I fell in love with the characters, I loved the slow burn, the scorching hot scenes, I loved connecting with the characters.
Anya is a strong h, knows what she wants and how to get it. She loves deeply and cares for her family.
Zac is the more carefree of the three, he has a few hang ups but knows how to handle them.
Cal is the mystery, closed off guy, quiet and it took me a minute to warm up to him, but my my still waters are deep they say and Cal is a still water if I ever saw one.
All in all a fantastic, read in one sitting, unputdownable read. 5 Stars.

A really well-written tale that despite the writing, left me cold. Full of white privilege.

This is going to be a really judgemental and possibly un-PC-worded review - sorry - because when I read this author's works (and I have, every single one of them since her 5* debut, Bad Judgment) I expect a real storyline that I can believe in, characters that I feel for and care about, angst and pain and an amazing HEA. Here, I got none of that. Why give the book a 3* rating, then? Because the author can write and because she's brave to go there with a genre that isn't so popular these days. However, if you're looking for a heartfelt, emotional triad tale where everyone is an equal, I'd recommend Lauren Dane (another Carina author) who's done some amazing tales that really make you care about the characters and what they have together.

Here the married couple were basically unlikable for me. A spoilt, whiny female lead whose baby seemed to be an afterthought; I'm sorry, but all she seemed to think about was her pleasure and her wants, especially in intimate scenes with the husband she supposedly loved. Their first scene together was more like her issuing instructions as to what she liked and wanted and fantasised about, and how to be pleasured, made 'OK' by the author telling us that the husband liked to watch. They were supposed to be each other's The One, and yet for them, that translated as being married on paper but having it off with anyone who caught their fancy. I suspect that if a third/s turned out to be a woman that the bisexual husband was attracted to, this so-called amazing relationship would have ended up very differently.

I didn't like the pressure that was put on Cal - a recovering alcoholic and the best friend of the husband. The wife's coming on to him was too obvious and she came across like a predator, and her frustration at being interrupted in her MO made her even more unlikable. I don't think I've ever disliked a female lead this much. Cal himself seemed to have the most backbone of the trio, with him overcoming his demons and changing his life. But, he felt railroaded into the triad and yes, I saw his affection for the husband (whose name I can't recall now, a day after finishing the book) but not for the wife. I didn't see his attraction for the wife, who, sorry, came across as a 'female of the species, on heat'.

This tale absolutely would not have worked IRL had these people not been rich, white and privileged. They could afford to do what they liked and get away with it because of money and fame/privilege - she was a former model turned photographer (this smacked of entitlement) and the guys were musicians worth millions (the amazing Lauren Dane tale that comes to mind also had the triad as musicians, i.e. people with 'alternative' lifestyles, but they had heart and their triad felt equal on all fronts) and therefore they could do/say/live what/how they wanted. For me, this tale was about hedonists having their cake and eating it. The poor baby in the tale never got to say a word or have any meaningful scene with either parent, apart from the first where the bio dad was trying to feed him. Cal seemed to be the one to provide cuddles and warmth and bonding and nurturing, which is why I found him the more likeable of the leads.

The tale didn't work for me on any level, and I'm disappointed. Not in the writing, which was told from a 3PPOV and done really well. It came across as an impartial observer recounting someone's hedonistic and surreal life story. Would I read this author again? In a heartbeat, because I know what she's capable of.

ARC courtesy of Carina Press and NetGalley, for my reading pleasure.

I flew through this book, not wanting to put it down and swooning the whole time!

This story has so much going for it: It's a beautiful tale of love and acceptance. It's about creating a chosen family when you're biological one can't be what you need, and how family can look different but it doesn't make it any less real. These are wonderful characters who I enjoyed spending time with. They're flawed humans trying to do their best in the world, hoping to love and be loved. It's a sexy book, funny, and unique. The sex scenes are HOT for sure.

But while I found the story fabulous in so many ways, I also found it lacking. I wanted more. I wish it was longer, and that we had more backstory on all the characters. The beginning was jarring, we jump right into the middle of a conversation that sets a tone for the rest of the book that should have been gentler, considering where the storyline goes.

I adore the romance genre, but one of my pet peeves in a story is when just a little bit of clear communication could have resolved a whole lot of conflict. That repeats in this story a couple times and it didn't make sense considering how the characters communicated other times. Again, perhaps if we had a deeper dive into each character this would have been explained or gone away.

Overall, this is a thoroughly enjoyable read. It showcases what I love best about this genre, which is that everyone deserves love. I highly recommend it for readers of romance.

I enjoyed the characters and premise of This Is Not the End and had high hopes for this book. The author has a great voice and a nice ear for dialogue, and I really loved the chemistry and collective and individual relationships between Anya, Zac, and Cal. Anya in particular is a wonderful character and exquisitely written, and she feels strong in her power, sexuality, and feminism. However, after setting the scene and establishing the characters and story, things went a bit downhill in terms of the quality of the storytelling. [Spoilers ahead!]

Once Cal initially hooks up with Zac and Anya (really just Anya), the writing style bizarrely switches over to almost all exposition for the remaining 50-60% of the book. Zac and Cal's relationship doesn't seem to carry as much emotional weight because of how rushed the storytelling is, and we never really get to sit with Cal's struggles with alcoholism. It makes the resolution of the novel feel rather easy and like not much is truly at stake; the book ends by teasing Cal's possible resolution with his estranged family, which didn't actively trouble him much through the book anyway, and we don't actually get to see it on screen. A lot more weight could have been developing that as a source of trauma for him AND them, but instead we're just told about it, never shown, and no explanation is given for why his mother randomly and conveniently calls him after 8 years. I was invested in that storyline and got no closure or insight into it whatsoever.

I also felt that the bisexual representation, while present, could have been given more care and attention, as neither Cal nor Zac seem to have any real connection to the queer community or their identities as queer men other than us being told they've fooled around with a few guys. The book is also entirely lacking in racial diversity of any kind, which was painful to see as the novel progressed without a single mention of BIPOC or POC characters.

This book could have been so much more! It wasn't an unenjoyable read by any means, and the author has talent, but I hope in future to see more showing than telling, and more attention given to sexual, cultural, and ethnic diversity.

Flipping heck! I don’t know what I thought I was expecting, I knew I was going to love it. Everything Sidney Bell has written has left me awestruck. This is Not the End is no exception. I was hooked from the get go. Eager to learn more about Zac and Anna’s relationship, they were after all, happily married. Anna was such a straight-up gal. No hiding behind rose coloured glasses, she says it like it is. Completely refreshing. I loved her. Zac and Anna’s relationship is completely transparent, they have no secrets, so when Zak’s best friend and band mate, Cal, is factored into their marriage, things start to get interesting. Cal struggles with how a relationship could work between the three of them, and the story centres around all their feelings and emotions, it totally worked for me. I loved the insights into Cal’s mind, especially with all his insecurities. Sidney Bell has a way with words and she expresses her character’s thoughts and worries in the best possible way. They were passionate, emotional, and oh so sexy, the chemistry between the three of them really worked. I loved it, plain and simple. I received an advanced copy of this book from the publisher via NetGalley. This is my honest review.

***Note: I am so sorry, but I am not reviewing the ePub arc. I was not aware that this book was going to be written entirely in third-person present since none of the author’s books have been like this. I don’t read third-person present in text and can only finish books in this tense on audio. A warning or excerpt would have been nice to know ahead of time, since a lot of the blurbs don’t necessarily always reflect the text in the book. I’ll be reading this book when it comes out on audio.

Wow. I love Sidney Bell and totally thought she could pull this off. But I had to force myself to finish this one. I’m not rich, not even close, but this “story,” (and I use the word loosely) simply felt like reading about three rich, bored people whose biggest problem is deciding who to have sex with and how often they should do it. God. It was so boring.

Let’s start with the principal characters themselves, aka cardboard stereotypes of rock and roll celebrities and a requisite model girlfriend - although in this case, she’s the wife. There is absolutely nothing subtle or nuanced - or INTERESTING - about these people.

Zach is the hot and sexy bad boy lead singer who sometimes wears eyeliner, is a God in the sack (I’ll have to take the authors word for it because almost every scene goes from dick out to fucking in the space of a paragraph), and married to a woman he only knew for three months - even though he was SUPER DUPER (DON'T FORGET!!!) promiscuous before he randomly fell head over heels in love and got married. He’s a badass with a heart of gold. Cue the eyeroll. He’s also messy, a bit immature and clueless that his best friend and bandmate has been in love with him for two decades. He loves Cal (the bandmate), too...but never admitted it. UNTIL HIS VERY WISE WIFE CAME ALONG.

Anya, his wife, is a former model and now photographer who is VERY INTELLIGENT (quit thinking she’s dumb), is always straight up honest, hates bullshitters and anyone who judges her, and is super cool. Also super in love with her husband. And maybe his best friend who she apparently barely even knows. Oh, and PS, they have a perfect little boy who is adorable, disappears whenever the scene doesn’t require him, and is named after...Well, it’s as dumb as this story.

Then there’s Cal. The genius song writer behind the BIG HITS, a recovering alcoholic (although he’s convinced no one knows he is EVEN THOUGH ZACHARY NURSED HIM THROUGH 2 WEEKS OF WITHDRAWAL), and in love with his best friend Zach and possibly, even though he barely knows her, his best friends wife. He is INTO commitment and BEING SERIOUS. Because he has DEEP feelings. They want him. He wants them. But maybe not. Because they like threesomes. And maybe he isn’t worthy of their commitment.

Ugh. Who cares? This was like reading US Magazine with sex. Lots of over the top, not very titillating, and definitely not romantic, sex.

Boring.

I didn’t like the story. Obviously. But just to be clear, my dislike has nothing to do with the number of or gender of or sexuality of the people involved in this polyamorous relationship. The issue is the complete and total lack of a story. This Is Not the End is essentially three consenting adults constantly justifying why they like each other to each other and telling themselves (via endless rambling inner monologues) that it's okay and totally "their" normal for them to be in a super sexual polyamorous relationship together. But there's no actual story here. They like each other, they want and have LOTS OF SEX together. In the entryway. On the stairs. On a bed. In a club. FFS, we get it. It's just constant introspective justification (when I don't need any to appreciate they like sex; they like it with multiple partners; and they chose these two partners because they like/love them the most) and sex scenes. Readers, it's endless "I'm not worthy," and "You are worthy," and "No one should judge us, so STFU," - and since there's absolutely no one else is in this story, WHO IS SAYING THESE JUDGEY THINGS???! WHO ARE THESE FICTIONAL JUDGMENTAL PEOPLE YOU ARE TELLING OFF??

This book never breaks any new ground, and the conflict is ridiculous. Either you know who your best friends are in the whole world or...you don't. And they do.

Rock stars, a model and a threesome, how stereotypical. The expectations of fidelity and seriousness is appalling low for those in the limelight. Because, they can get all the free sex from many sources at any time. New to me author, Ms. Bell floors me with the complexity and tenderness in this story and shatters all stereotypes. For those who judge a book by its cover, this is one you want to read and ignore the cover.

I am going to digress a bit by stating that I don't really pay that much attention to covers. There are some I like and some I don't like. Most of the covers I see, I am indifferent to because I'm more interested in the book blurb or it is because of the author. The book blurb caught my attention in a positive manner whilst the book cover turned me off. In fact, I reinterpreted it in my mind with more grey colour schemes and an even more boring look than what the cover really was like. So when I started the book, it matched my feeling of the cover… boring and blah. Within a chapter, my view changed drastically.

Cal is the proverbial "third" wheel in Anya and Zac's marriage. Cal and Zac's friendship over the past two decades endured highs and lows. What seems like a lark, to invite the quiet, boring yet sweet goody two shoes Cal into their bed for Zac's birthday, turns into so much more.

I loved this story because of the vulnerability and intimacy played out in its raw form. Learning about Cal's past and his regrets is tough. His ability to function and get through each day with unresolved insecurity issues is a powerful message. What I loved most about this story is the character development. Each character is more than what they seem at first. Finding their strengths and weaknesses and exposing it to each other is daunting and very well done by Ms. Bell. She provides an honest and sometimes brutal look into how relationships function, fail and succeed. She multiples this exponentially in difficulty when she adds a third person to a relationship. When it comes to multiple partners, it isn't easy. Especially if the partners have different views on what sexual contact means to them.

I am thoroughly impressed by how well these threesome ended up. It is not all sunshines and rainbows. There are some heavy topics covered and it is well demonstrated that it takes three people opening communicating to make this work. And even then, there are going to be set backs. I appreciated the realistic scenarios Ms. Bell brings to light in this threesome. The conflicts, the concerns, the hopes and above all, the physical logistics of loving between three people is beautifully written.

I highly recommend this contemporary romance to menage readers and those who are intrigued by the concept and have no idea how it can work. Because, it isn't just sex. It is a deep soul bonding shared through years of intimacy and acts of love.

I'm not sure I've ever read a polyamorous romance. But if there any others out there like this one? I will absolutely be adding them to my TBR.

I knew the bare bones of this story before requesting as I follow Bell pretty closely and remember when she first announced this (using a memorable gif from Tangled involving kissing unicorns) however to be honest I would've requested this even had I known nothing at all because Bell is an auto-read author for me. The fact that she took me to a new place was just a bonus.

This is a very character-driven story without very much outside noise beyond the immediate world of these three characters. It gave it a really intimate feel without feeling totally out of touch or insular. It is chockfull of feelings, steam, and quite a few laughs, too.

"<i>How are you better in bed than me? I've had so much more sex than you</i>."
"<b>Quantity and quality are two different things.</b>"

Each character was so beautifully drawn, so vivid, so distinctly themselves, and how they fit together was just.. well, it was just perfect, even when it wasn't, and I truly loved watching it all unfold.

In a year where I've struggled so much with reading, with focus, and particularly in this last month, I picked this up and didn't put it down until I was done. I was totally sucked in. Which probably explains why I have only one highlight for this read when there were so many lovely passages or moments I would have otherwise wanted to preserve. I was too enthralled to pause even for that.

I'm so happy the release drought from this author is over and can say without a doubt that she has not lost her touch. I can't wait to see where she goes next. If this isn't already on your radar, it should be. Not only this one but the author's entire backlist. Dive in and enjoy, you can thank me later.