As a former educator, I have frequently wondered about the home life of some of my students. This child lived a life filled with hardships and abuse and yet came out of it almost whole. We find out fairly far into the book why her mother was mentally ill - this information might have been helpful earlier in the book. Plymale spent her childhood in the foster system, being reunited with her mother, sharing space and limited resources with a whole raft of siblings, each child carrying the baggage of neglect and poverty. Her mother always said she was descended from the founding fathers of the United States and everyone thought it was just part of her mental illness. Stephanie was able to discover the truth.

Unusual in Stephanie's case was that she survived, met and married a very stable person, raised her children and yet was able to reach out to her mother while determining to live her own life differently.

This is a Non-Fiction/Biography Memoir/Autobiography. This book was really good in parts, but other parts I found very boring and slow moving. I feel for this girl/woman in this book. Overall I found this book thought-provoking, but in parts I found the pacing was off. I liked this book, but I did not love this book. I was kindly provided an e-copy of this book by the publisher (HarperOne) or author (Stephanie Thornton Plymale with Elissa Wald) via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review about how I feel about this book, and I want to send a big Thank you to them for that.

This was a powerful and moving memoir. It's very difficult to read in some parts, but I thought important to persevere on because it's important to her. I always put myself in someone else's shoes - what would I do? And in this book, it was a tough answer. She had to endure things no one should ever have to be able to endure growing up. Childhood is suppose to be just that - a time in your life where you are able to be a fun loving kid.

At times in the book I thought it was slow, but overall I finished it in just few days and enjoyed the read.

Thank you to Netgalley for the ARC. I really enjoyed most of this book. Stephanie's story is extraordinary. She overcomes insurmountable odds and overcame so much, she is such an inspiration. But unfortunately, there were parts of the story that were a bit slow-moving. But overall it was thought-provoking, interesting, and inspiring.

Homelessness, abuse, neglect, trauma — all aspects that this brave author confronts in this raw and gripping memoir. Stephanie Thornton and her siblings lived a tumultuous life growing up. With a mother who was in and out of jail or rehab, Stephanie often had to fend for herself, which led to a frayed relationship with her mother. It’s only until Stephanie herself is an adult that she can start to peel back the layers of her life, her mother’s past and family secrets.

It’s no secret that I love a good memoir — and American Daughter is riveting. While there are many areas of this book that were tough to read, this book is written with such honesty and vulnerability that you get the truest sense of how generational trauma can live on for years in a family. The discoveries Stephanie makes about her family history are wild. You won’t be able to put this book down!

A special thank you to NetGalley and River Grove Books for providing an advanced copy in exchange for my honest review.

3.5 stars

The description said this memoir is for fans of Educated and The Glass Castle and I’d have to say I wholeheartedly agree! Stephanie had a terrible upbringing – homelessness, foster care, sexually abused – the list is long and heartbreaking. Her mother suffered from mental illness and addiction, leaving Stephanie and her siblings to fend for themselves.

Stephanie is a great writer. Her prose immediately sucked me in and I knew I was in it for the long haul. Her journey with her mother was interesting – at the beginning of the book, they were nearly estranged, but as the book progressed, Stephanie’s mother becomes ill and she knows she wants to understand her mother as much as she can while she is able to get some answers. Through these revelations, Stephanie gains insight into her mother’s life and slowly begins to forgive her and have compassion for her. It really was a beautiful transformation that really reminds the reader that what others see on the outside is only a piece of the puzzle. Without excusing her mother’s behavior, Stephanie was able to heal her pain when she had more insight into her mother’s past.

What I absolutely hated about this book was Plymale’s exploration of her own marital issues with her husband. I appreciate that her husband was her saving grace, but the focus of the book should have stayed on her mother. This is a memoir, not an autobiography, so there was no need for Stephanie to stray into her personal problems in her marriage. To be honest, while I had a lot of compassion for Stephanie’s upbringing, the way she spoke to and about her husband darkened my opinion of her. I’m not saying there wasn’t value in her explorations of her unhappiness, but maybe it should have been in a different book. The two parts really didn’t compliment each other and I was way more invested in the mother/daughter relationship.

I wish we could give half stars, because this book is more like a 4.5 rather than just a 4. I can't give it a five because there are pacing issues on and off throughout the book that took me out of the narrative just a bit. This is a memoir of the author's life as the daughter of a woman who had some serious mental illness issues. Like so many in America, she did not seek help and as a result, was in and out of prisons and institutions. This left an indelible imprint on the author, and she writes at length about them as her mother approaches her deathbed. It is emotional and powerful, but also sometimes difficult to read because of the portrayal of pain. The thing that will stick with you is how relatable the mother-daughter relationship is. You could have had a picture-perfect upbringing and a doting mother, which is the opposite of this mother, but you will still relate to the often rollercoaster-like emotional ride these two go through. Every woman is angry at her mother at some point, and vice versa. It is beautifully written and you come away wanting to root for the author for having the strength to endure.

A version of this review previously appeared in Shelf Awareness and is republished here with permission.

Stephanie Thornton Plymale is the American dream. She has a long, loving marriage, wonderful children, a thriving design business and a position as CEO of the Heritage School of Interior Design. But her poignant and often distressing memoir, American Daughter, does not begin there. Plymale is also "an American nightmare," a child failed by every part of the American system and, most egregiously, by her mother.

American Daughter opens in 1974, with Plymale and her four siblings (from various fathers in the "relentless succession" of men) living out of a station wagon in a California state park. While their mother works as a motel maid, they explore the beach "like a pack of stray puppies." When they have no food, the eldest, 10, harvests seaweed (their mother responds that seaweed is healthy and "People in the city paid top dollar for it!").

Staggeringly, these were some of the best years of Plymale's childhood. Though she wildly succeeded in leading a life the opposite of her mother's, she was haunted by memories. Decades later, Plymale receives a call from her mother (in violation of the stalking order filed after she threatened to burn down Plymale's house). She has stage-four lung cancer and six months to live. Plymale's recounting of this time with her mother, meshed with her memories, is as astonishing as it is disturbing. The writing is shatteringly candid but never overwrought, the story a stark reminder that "the most difficult people are often suffering in ways we can't fathom."

I was hoping to assign this book for an undergraduate course I teach about the impact of various societal issues on children's development, In past years, I have assigned The Glass Castle and, more recently, I have assigned Etched in Sand. As I have gotten a bit bored after assigning these books multiple times now, I had hoped that American Daughter would be a fresh replacement. Unfortunately, it doesn't work for my purposes. The author certainly has had a remarkable journey, but the book felt a bit scattered to me. There were whole sections that did not seem necessary and I wish the author had more clearly explained why she felt that certain sections were necessary to include (e.g., about her almost having an affair). I was looking for more self-reflection on the author's part rather than largely a retelling of her life experiences. At the very end of the book, the author briefly mentions how various systems "failed" her in one way or another (e.g., the educational system, the foster system, the mental health system) - I very much wish that the author had done more digging into how these systemic forces impacted her life and that she had offered some ways to fix these broken systems. She certainly gives examples throughout the book, but this book could have more effectively served as a platform to prevent similar atrocities from occurring to other children. I was also surprised to read at the end that she had been in therapy as she never mentions it. It would have been a great service to others if she had been more forthcoming about the positive role that counseling played in her life. She starts the book essentially saying that she owes her positive outcome to her husband - I was disheartened to read this as it sends the message that the only way out of a situation like hers is to be saved by a romantic partner. Clearly, therapy played a role in her recovery/journey but she gives it short shrift. Furthermore, although she credits her husband with essentially saving her life, she expressed a lot of anger toward him throughout a good chunk of the book and she didn't seem to understand how she might have been contributing to his distancing himself from her. Understandably, she carried anger, hurt, resentment, and a significant need for affection and validation, but I can't help but think that she must have been quite difficult to be in a relationship with at times and that she didn't seem to fully recognize how her behavior may have contributed (as least to some small degree) to her husband's withdrawal.

Fascinating story. They say everyone has a story to tell, and Stephanie’s is heartbreaking. To say she had a troubled mother-daughter relationship is an understatement. Stephanie could have ended up a tragedy of her circumstances, but instead chose to create a beautiful life.

A deeply moving account of a survivor, this memoir will punch you in the gut and leave scars. Stephanie’s motivation in life is to be the opposite of her mother. In the end, they both come to acknowledge their common unthinkable threads. And it is a powerful realization.

Although she has suffered tremendous neglect and abuse by her mother, she has created a life of bounty, abundance, and love for herself and for her family. The book takes you on that journey of how she got from point A to point B, the people involved along the way, and the reasons she is who she is. The need to be heard, accepted, validated, forgiven and loved is a theme woven throughout the story. There is transformation and redemption and healing with some, while others are so broken and “in holes so deep and dark” that they cannot find their way out... “and there are big holes like that all over the world.”

There is also the realization that her life is both the “American Dream”...all that is good and strong, as well as the “American Nightmare”...all that is wrong and broken. Her story reflects every aspect. I found it to be a miracle that she thrived, in spite of her history, to become who she became. Still broken, but surviving. The book is beautifully written. I was especially touched by how the author helped me to find compassion for some of the people I found so distasteful throughout. Again, everyone has a story, and you don’t know what they are suffering, don’t judge, be kind.

Thank you to Stephanie for sharing a very vulnerable story. And thank you to NetGalley and HarperCollins for the ARC. It touched my soul.

This memoir is filled with a raw honesty that pulls the reader in and empathize with the author. The miraculous ability to survive and assist others by sharing her story about growing up with a mentally ill mother and the impact that it had on her life is inspiring. The road to forgiveness is inspirational. Have your tissues ready when you read this one.

Stephanie Thornton Plymale’s extraordinary memoir, in which she recounts her horrific childhood and subsequent struggle to find happiness, is deeply moving on many levels. The challenges she faced overcoming her early experiences were daunting, yet, as an adult, she was able to build a fulfilling life for herself and her family despite the odds.

It’s sad to think of all the relatives that didn’t survive this family. So many of them lived tragic lives, full of addictions and criminality, and many died young. I admire her honesty and willingness to admit that there is no firm answer to why some are saved and some are destroyed by such trauma.

I was engrossed throughout this book, reading late into the night. I admire this woman very much and was deeply invested in her struggles. In spite of the sadness of this kind of multigenerational dysfunction, I enjoyed reading this and highly recommend it.

I enjoyed this book. It is written with lots of emotion and love. I enjoyed how this book pulled me in right from the beginning. It is an engaging story about a family and the life struggles they went through. I was taken on an emotional roller coaster ride. This is a new author for me and I look forward to see what is next for her. This is truely a great story which I highly recommend.

This book was well-written and riveting memoir of familial mental health and the impacts that surround it.

It has taken me awhile to sit and write about this book. Immediately after reading the book, my first thought was – wow this is a story with so many layers. Five stars! I wanted to think about the book, give it a week or two to see if still felt that way. I still think it’s a 5 star read. This book is similar to memoirs such as The Glass Castle, Educated, Etched in Sand, Girl Unbroken or Blackbird just to name a few.

Stephanie Thornton Plymale overcame a horrific childhood filled with abuse and neglect to create a life with a loving partner, children and successful career as a designer. The focus of Stephanie’s memoir is her relationship as an adult with her mother while also going back in time to parts of her childhood. Her mother is mentally ill which plays a significant role in her chaotic childhood. There were periods of time where Stephanie tried to distance herself from her mother. Upon learning her mother was dying of cancer, Stephanie attempts to find out more about her mother and fill in the pieces that did not always make sense. As the story unfolds we learn about the incredibly traumatic events of Stephanie’s mother’s life. Both women are survivors. I definitely recommend reading An American Daughter. Thank you NetGalley for the ARC.

This book gave me all the feels. The author expertly writes about her family history, interweaving stories with her own memories to create a heart wrenching book. I appreciated that I was along for her journey of self discovery and realization that all people, no matter how “crazy” have their reasons, traumas, experiences that led them to where they are. That acknowledgement of humanity is missing in so much of our reporting or reading on people with mental illness, or the perpetually homeless, or people like her mother: abusive. I appreciated her perspective and thank her for sharing her full story. Her full humanity.

Sometimes I read memoirs and wonder why the author thought their life was interesting enough to warrant writing a book about. This wasn’t one of those.
This book recounts a truly remarkable story. The author is a woman who is lucky to have survived her childhood, in all respects, despite growing up in one abusive and dangerous situation after another.
In her attempts to bring her dying mother to task for a lifetime of abuse and neglect, Thornton Plymale discovers a family history that is both amazing and shockingly horrific. This brings her a newfound understanding of the crosses her mother has spent the majority of her life bearing.
What results is a thoughtful and moving memoir on what it means to be a survivor.
Thanks to #netgalley for this ARC of #americandaughter in exchange for an honest review.

American Daughter
A Memoir
by Stephanie Thornton Plymale; Elissa Wald
HarperOne
You Are Auto-Approved
Biographies & Memoirs | Nonfiction (Adult)
Pub Date 12 Jan 2021 | Archive Date 09 Mar 2021

It is hard not to "like" a biography/memoir. I feel for the author because her life was tragic. However, the writing was not good. It plodded along and it did not keep my interest. I appreciate being given the digital ARC by Harper and NetGalley. I cannot recommend it.

3 stars

I really wanted to love this memoir, and while I understand the author’s life is heartbreaking and compelling and tragic, the writing and style were not for me. There is a great life story here and it could have been told in a more linear fashion, with more focus on her childhood. The fights and drama with her husband, the detailed descriptions of design, adoption, and an almost-affair were not integrated into the main thrust of the story with fluidity or intention. They slowed the narrative down and could have been left out. The outbursts towards her mom (as an adult) were written in a way that made me cringe - feeling empathy for her mom and making the author appear childish and selfish. I don’t think this is the author’s intention, however, and these scenes could have been improved in revisions and edits. The foreshadowing at the end of the chapters was unnecessary and ineffective and is best left to fiction, which this book is not. The best part of the book was the epilogue, where the author showed introspection and maturity when reflecting on her life and family. It’s unfortunate this writing style at the end didn’t start at the beginning.
Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for the advanced readers copy. All opinions are my own.