Thank you so much to net galley, the publisher, and the author for sending me a copy of this audiobook. It was pretty good but just not for me .

I had heard great things about this one and was excited to read it. Almost immediately I could tell that there was something off about Priya and Alexandra's relationship (and I fairly quickly guessed one of the reasons their relationship was so frayed). The strain in their relationship is compounded by an upcoming visitor: Prakash. Prakash was Priya's friend and school companion. As the plot unfolds readers learn how smarmy and predatory Prakash acted, how uncomfortable he made Priya feel, and how he continued to push for a sexual relationship even after Priya's repeated objections. We learn all of this from Priyah's own narration. Then we get to see see things from Alexandra's point of view.

Prakash made me physically ill. Nauseous, I had to set the book aside several times. I could not handle how Prakash's machismo empowered him to abuse Priya. When Prakash finally arrived I was afraid. When he and Priya get on a car to go for a drive in the isolated setting, I was sick again... and then we learn why Prakash is there. We get to hear Prakash's side of the story. We get to see Priya fill gaps in her memory... and it's supposed to make everything okay? Sorry, but no.

Prakash is not a victim. I don't think he was gaslighting Priya, but, as an adult, he should have understood what it meant that Priya cut all possible ties. He should not have pursued her the second he found her online presence. Regardless of the past. Regardless of the stories Priya had told herself versus what actually happened: His behavior continues to be predatory.

Honestly, the only reason I managed to finish reading this one is because I was listening to the audiobook and the narrators did a great job in bring Alexandra and Priya to life.

This is my first Shani Mootoo book and I'm a bit disappointed. I felt like the plot was so focused on relationships and secrets that the plot didn't go anywhere. The queer representation was exactly what I was looking for though. Complex, nuanced queer love that isn't Hallmark and isn't tragedy. It's real and gritty.

Priya and Alex have been living together on an island in Canada for four or five years, enjoying the countryside and remoteness the community provides. Seemingly out of the blue, Priya invites an old friend, Prakash, one with whom she has a complex relationship history, to visit. His impending arrival brings to the surface many cracks and growing distances in Alex and Priya’s relationship. And they may or may not be able (or want) to recover and save it.

This is a book that is all about the writing and the atmosphere it creates. From the attention-getting, graphic opening scene that grabs you from the start, Mootoo’s writing is a mesmerizing, reflective, musing, light stream of consciousness style, literary force. Although I do think there is a chance that, reading the physical book, I may have gotten slowed up, caught in the language (just personally), I felt like the audio version did a great job conveying the tense, close mood of the book in a way that carried me with it more effortlessly that reading might have. Told primarily from Priya’s point of view, with a short intercession from Alex in the middle (that honestly, personally, I could maybe have done without, because it gives context to what is otherwise a fairly “unreliable narrator” situation, and I love those), this is a pretty deep dive into the MC’s psyche. Priya’s mind is recognizable in so many ways: the way her memories change or fail her, the overthinking and dissecting and second-guessing of interactions and moments, the indecision, the insecurities, the things we feel guilt over, deep knowing, but pretending not to (not wanting to). It’s just so familiar. And that is what makes my reader-reactions while reading this, the feelings of difficulty breathing, like I’ve been stuffed into a tight, dark space, so affective.

The primary themes of the novel also play into that feeling of tightness. First, the exploration of relationships, memories of relationships and relationship dynamics and expectations vs. reality and changes (or lack thereof) and drifting apart over time and desire, are all intense and authentic in a way that’s sometimes difficult to face. There is a major focus on acceptance (or again, lack thereof), of sexuality and validation of shared racial experiences, through a lens of societal expectation and general interpersonal connection. There is exploration of being a foreigner in a place, through many definitions of foreign, and how one find’s family and connection. There is a look at who has the power to define you and how you sustain the life you want to live, developed in a deeply personal, nuanced way. Along these lines, I want to mention that this book tells of immigrant experiences and communities that I have never read about before, or (for full disclosure) even considered the existence of, that of Caribbean and Ugandan Indians, as well as a general look at blended immigrant experiences in Canada. And last, there is a profound message about the way relationship needs and wants and unrequited feelings affect a person, the way the past affects and catches up with us all, despite any and all efforts to the contrary. It’s all quite intense, but builds throughout the novel in a subtle way, until you reach the end and can finally let out a breath and are almost bowled over by how much complexity you just read. Plus, as a side note, the ending itself, while being exactly what I guessed/anticipated, was a perfect fit.

This novel is so understated in its power. The language is gorgeous and oppressive in a way that isn’t obvious, but still powerful, and makes me want to call Mootoo a master of ambiance and aura. There is really no plot, as it were, but rather the highlight of this novel is the immersive dive into the mind of a character, our MC Priya. It makes it hard to know exactly what is real, and yet knowing what’s real to her gets the reader fully invested in the unfolding character development and unravelling relationship(s). It’s not necessarily my personal favorite style, but I completely recognize the skill in Mootoo’s writing, and I did fly through listening to the audiobook.

I am so happy I was able to listen to this on audio. I don't think I would've liked it nearly as much as I did if I physically read it. The narrator was a little slow and almost boring at first but once the story line picked up she came to life as I would like to imagine the character did as well. I love that it took you through the main characters life as well as the current events happening around her. It really went into the fact that she was queer and from Trinidad. I was able to see the struggles she's had in the past and overcame with her family and herself. You also get a glimpse into some of the other characters lives and pasts which I though made it a more well rounded story. There was a slight twist at the end but unfortunately I saw it coming from the middle of the book. If you liked Normal People by Sally Rooney you may like this one as well!

On the surface, this book is about interpersonal relationships, specifically those between lesbian couple Priya and Alex and between old friends Priya and Prakash, but it’s really all about Priya. What makes her tick, why she is sabotaging her relationship with Alex, and why she has always been so intent on pushing Prakash away. I briefly wondered if she was a closet heterosexual feigning attraction to women for some undisclosed reason. The book held my interest and I would have rated it higher except the ending felt so unresolved.

Yeowza what a story!

This story is fast moving, gripping, incisive, and cuts to the core of the relationships put out on display. Mootoo writes characters who are vulnerable, awkward, and so tangibly real it felt as if I were eaves dropping their private thoughts.

Priya is living with her partner Alex in a countryside home and suddenly invites her college friend Prakash for a visit after reconnecting online after years of not speaking. His impending and actual arrival starts to reveal the cracks in the relationship between Priya and Alex, thoughts that remain unspoken and danced around by both women. As the story unravels, it becomes apparent that despite having been close and known one another for decades, Priya and Prakash recall pivotal moments quite differently.

This story is TENSE. Everything written is happening in the moment, firing quickly through the narrators’ minds and taking the reader along on this emotionally sharp ride. THIS ENDING. Whoa. Mootoo certainly packs a gut punch and keeps the reader on their toes until the very last sentence.

Themes include race, sexual orientation, cultural norms, the immigrant experience, trust, and the unreliability of memories. I listened to the audiobook version and highly recommend it for the excellent narration.

Thanks to NetGalley and Book*hug Press for an advanced audio copy in exchange for my honest review.

Shani Mootoo's novel Polar Vortex has been shortlisted for this year's Scotiabank Giller Prize so I was happy to be able to read it and also listen to it thanks to the free audio from NetGalley and ECW Press Audio.

This is a slow burn, character driven book. The book takes place in Ontario and is first told from the perspective of Priyah. A friend of hers from her University days is coming to visit. It's been a while since they have had contact, but when Prakash reaches out online, Priyah figures there is no harm in inviting him to come and stay with her and her wife, Alex. There is palpable tension between Alex and Priyah. Alex keeps asking Priyah about this relationship and Priyah doesn't understand why it is such a big deal.

I have to admit that at first this bugged me, especially since the couple are in their 50's. It seemed immature. But I stuck it out and I'm glad I did. The second part is told from the perspective of Priyah. This gives some insight to Alex and where she is coming from and why this relationship bugs her more than it seems is necessary. Alex implies that something more must have happened between Priyah and Prakash. Priyah ensures her that she has been honest with Prakash that she is not interested and that she is in fact, a lesbian.

When Prakash arrives, we learn some of his background. He represents the Ugandan Asian Refugee Crisis in 1972, in which Canada accepted over 6000 refugees. This is a part of Canadian history that I'm sure not all Canadians are aware of so I am glad that this is included.

The third part is told by Priyah again. In some ways, I wish it had been from Prakash's point of view, but it is when Priyah and Prakash get to spend some time together and it fills the story even more.

I like that the audio book has two narrators, Lewis Sharon and Iris Quinn. The attempt to show the two perspectives is a good one. Unfortunately, the voices were very similar so the two voices were not so obvious.

This is a story about complications in relationships, what we reveal and keep from others, cultural differences and how our past can catch up to us.

Bookworm Rating: 🐛🐛🐛🐛