This book was the perfect escape. It was lovely and fun. It was my first book by this author and I will definitely be on the look out for more!!

This book was just amazing and hard to put down. The Long Tail of Trauma is a must read. Elizabeth Wilcox is a wonderful author and looking forward to read more books written by her.

The Long Tail of Trauma (2020) is an engrossing mother-daughter memoir written by Elizabeth Wilcox. This book often reads like an historical novel that begins in 1904 and alternates between past and present time periods, covering three generations, until the time of 2018. Although her ancestors were not directly Jewish, Wilcox illustrated how they were displaced and traumatized in WWII--which was related to Hitler’s reign of hate and horror throughout Europe and the U.K. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) would have a lasting impact on her mother’s life and consequently her own. Elizabeth Wilcox is a successful multi-media journalist; she is the author of “The Mom Economy” (2003) and lives with her husband in Vermont.

Wilcox, one of seven children, were all raised to successful adulthood, and supported with college educations and good careers. Wilcox began writing this story when she was 52 years old, and after consulting a psychologist friend, she realized she needed advice to help her understand and care for her elderly mother (Barbara): who was often stressed, abrupt and hostile in conversations, had frequent mood-swings, and rejoiced when she learned she had PTSD. Readers learn that the root of these troubling behaviors began when her mother was sent at three years of age (with her 18 month old brother) to Wales in “Operation Pied Piper” (1939).
It was interesting to note that Barbara’s mother “Violet” also endured maternal separation when she was born to Anna, an unmarried Danish-German domestic servant. Although Anna would return to Rickmansworth for Violet, she and her Jewish husband lived in an impoverished East End London slum. Anna, would wisely change her two children’s family name from Katzenstein to Cross. Although the name change would later be declared illegal, the name change afforded her children a degree of protection from authorities that officially sought to identify the Jewish population in the U.K. and across Europe.

To her credit, Wilcox learned all she could about ACE and the connection to PTSD. The storyline involving her ancestor’s lives was really interesting and well-written. I totally applaud Wilcox’s patience and resolve as she wrote truthfully about her mother’s tiresome behavior: who seemed to think that “everything” had to be or was about her, as she relished any amount of attention. An admirable part of Barbara’s character emerged, when she lovingly cared for Wilcox’s dying father. There was little or no mention of grandchildren in this story narrative. This story also reminds us of how fragile and unhappy some mother-daughter connections can be over time, but with love, understanding, and forgiveness something good and positive can remain. **With thanks to Stephanie Barko and Netgalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.

The Long Tail of Trauma is an interesting book that examines three generations of women as they endure inherited trauma. The author, Elizabeth Wilcox, represents the third generation: in her story, she looks back at the events of her grandmother's and mother's lives as they faced the horrors of World Wars I and II in Europe, (particularly England, Germany and the Netherlands).. During this time, each of these women experienced tremendous trauma, especially in terms of their fractured and unstable relationships with their own mothers. Wilcox attempts to piece this all together throughout the book, which is 3/4 a history of her family and 1/4 a study on trauma. She uses herself as a mirror - looking at the ways that intergenerational trauma has affected her, and strives to understand how she can live differently and end the cycle with her own children. It took Wilcox 25 years to finish writing this book, as the pain and reality that she faced while doing so was overwhelming and life, itself, kept getting in the way. She uses primary source documents left by her family members, and reproduces them in the book, which adds an element of true history to the story. I found the stories of her grandmother's and mother's lives quite captivating.

Those who have experienced or are experiencing intergenerational trauma will find this book relatable. (I did). Although Wicox does apply a trauma lens to her explanation of the events the book, I would have liked it to have been even deeper.

The Long Tail of Trauma: A Memoir by Elizabeth Wilcox was a work of love, exploration, determination, understanding, compassion and searching for answers about childhood trauma and how that trauma may be inherited and passed down from one generation to the next. The childhoods of Elizabeth’s mother, grandmother and great grandmother were riddled with trauma and each of their lives and the decisions they made had a domino effect on each other. I was immediately drawn into the history of this family. Their stories were captured through Elizabeth’s mother’s memories and some allowance for creativity when memories were absent. As Elizabeth began to uncover why her mother was the way she was, she also reflected upon her own life choices, how she brought her own children up and guided them along life’s path to become strong, successful and independent people. This was a brilliantly written book that bore many heart wrenching experiences the women in this family were forced to endure and how those decisions, experiences, and choices influenced the lives of those they loved. It also allowed for reflection and comparison into one’s own life.

All three women that Elizabeth explored and wrote about in her book lived during World War I or World War II. The repercussions of those wars impacted and influenced the trauma they experienced. In The Long Tail of Trauma: A Memoir, Elizabeth, at her mother’s request, told the stories of her great grandmother, Anna, her grandmother, Violet and her own mother, Barbara. Elizabeth began writing this memoir when she was twenty-two. It took her until she was in her fifties to complete it. In Elizabeth’s words, the reason she wrote this memoir was “ to help me understand why my mother struggles so much, why she shakes and can be imbalanced in so many ways, why she is the way she increasingly has become: exhausted and manic, determined and struggling, physically fit and mentally unwell-pairings that can seem to me not meant to coexist but in my mother somehow do.” Elizabeth did her best to include and write about” the importance of mother-child attachment and the ways in which separation and trauma can influence generations to come”. The long term effects of the absence of mother-child attachment in her mother’s early years resulted in her mother’s diagnosis of PTSD later in her life.

There were many studies that supported the fact that children who lived through World War I and World War II and were separated from their mothers suffered greatly from depression later in their lives. Elizabeth Wilcox’s mother, Barbara, was three years old when she escaped from Hitler and World War II. Barbara’s mother, Violet, was too ill to make the trip from Holland to England with her, her father and little brother. Violet was left in Holland to convalescence with the hope that she would join the family when she got stronger. It would be three and a half years that elapsed before Barbara’s mother, Violet, would be able to rejoin her children. After all that time of separation, Barbara’s first encounter with her mother brought feelings of resentment to the surface. Mother and daughter were never able to forge a close relationship again even though they had had a healthy and close relationship prior to their separation.

During those three and a half years that Elizabeth’s mother, Barbara was denied her mother’s presence in her life, her father chose to take a job in London. George, Barbara’s father, rented a house for them in London. At first, her father was able to hire nannies to take care of Barbara and her brother but soon that became difficult. Barbara settled into living in England with her father and brother. Eventually, she stopped asking after her mother so often. In time, it became too dangerous for Barbara to remain in London with all the bombings and lack of child care so she was evacuated out of London in Operation Pied Piper during World War II. Barbara became her brother’s mother at three years old. She was shuffled from one foster family to another. Their treatment during those placements was unpleasant and sometimes cruel. Then her father sent her to a boarding school in Wales where she was treated harshly as well. She and her brother were quite unhappy. For the next year, her brother and her lived with a farmer an his wife on their farm and were looked after by them. That year also caused Barbara some trauma. Finally, Barbara’s father sent her and her brother to a boarding school in Mitcheldean, Gloucestershire. Barbara was five and half and her brother was four years old. At last Barbara found a place where she was happy and felt safe. The cruel treatment that she experienced during that time, though, left a lasting impression on her. She recalled having her hands tied behind her back before bedtime and being locked in a closet for hours. All the trauma little Barbara experienced during those impressionable years contributed to her PTSD years later. Of course, the histories and lives of Barbara’s mother, Violet and Violet’s mother, Anna, also impacted upon the severity of Barbara’s trauma over the course of her life and her ultimate diagnosis of PTSD. The impact of those traumas that all three women experienced, greatly influenced their own lives and each other’s lives.

I was quite impressed by Elizabeth’s stellar resume. It was a privilege, though, to be introduced to her by being allowed to read this magnificent book. I admired how she was able to delve into her own family’s history and uncover the many facets of trauma the matriarchs of her family suffered through and passed down to the next generations. It was heart breaking and yet inspiring, too, how her own history and experiences led her to specialize “in content and emotional learning in early childhood and trauma informed practices for youth.” Perhaps, through her work, others will be spared the long lasting effects of trauma. The Long Tail of Trauma:A Memoir will stay with me for a long time. It was a well written memoir. The story of the lives of those women and the traumas they suffered made this book one that will not be easy to forget. I highly recommend this book.

I received a complimentary copy of The Long Tail of Trauma:A Memoir from Elizabeth Wilcox’s Literary Publicist, Stephanie Barko in exchange for an honest review.
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Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
Elizabeth Wilcox writes of trauma through the generations and especially how trauma impacts mothers and daughters. This memoir jumps around in time, which I'm not a big fan of, but it's still very readable. Overall, this is a fascinating story.