5/5

Quise leer How to be Ace en Netgalley porque quería aprovechar esta novela gráfica para informarme sobre la asexualidad, y tengo que decir que me ha gustado mucho la manera en la que Rebecca cuenta todo por lo que ha pasado durante su juventud y después, informando de una manera clara y cercana sobre como llegó ella a saber que era asexual y a aceptarse sin exigirse nada más.

Tengo que decir que hasta hace relativamente poco (un año o poco más) no conocía los términos ace y aro, que tampoco hay mucha representación (de las pocas que he visto ha sido Kelly en la saga Green Creek de TJ Klune) y a lo largo de esta novela me he sentido identificada con varias de las situaciones que ha vivido Rebecca, y es que vivimos en una sociedad en la que parece que está "mal visto" no tener pareja o no tener ganas de tener pareja, ya no hablemos de relaciones sexuales.

Si queréis conocer más sobre el tema os recomiendo esta novela gráfica, y si alguien conoce más libros con representación contadme, me interesa.

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5/5 stars

I wanted to read How to be Ace on Netgalley because I wanted to take advantage of this graphic novel to inform myself about asexuality, and I have to say that I really liked the way Rebecca shared everything she went through during her youth and afterwards, reporting on a clear and close way of how she came to know that she was asexual and to accept herself without demanding anything else.

I have to say that until recently (a year or a little more) I did not know the terms ace and aro, that there is not much representation (of the few that I have seen has been Kelly in the Green Creek series by TJ Klune) and throughout this novel I have felt identified with several of the situations that Rebecca has experienced, and that is because we live in a society in which it seems that it is "frowned upon" not to have a partner or not feel like having a partner, let's not talk about not caring about sexual relationshis.

If you want to know more about the subject, I recommend this graphic novel, and if someone knows more books with representation, tell me, I'm interested.

A simple graphic novel depicting what it is like to be asexual with additional discussion of OCD and mental health in general.

I liked the artwork - it was clear and simple and the panels easy to follow to ensure reading the story in the right order. The story itself was good, and it was a clear narrative. However, I feel that the focus switched between mental health and ace and I do understand the two are inextricably linked but it felt that it didn't focus particularly hard enough on either.

All being said, I enjoyed it.

Let me start by saying this: I am not Ace. However, some of my friends are somewhere on the asexual spectrum and me requesting this ARC was a way of trying to see things from their point of view. To connect with them on some level, put some effort into understanding them just like they did in understanding me.
This is a good memoir. It's well written and it really made me see through the author's eyes. It explained the struggles ace people face every day in a way that was simple and clear and I loved it for that. I've already started following the author on twitter and I'm looking forward to reading whatever she decides to create next.

This makes a powerful case for the importance of representation and the harm our current culture can cause aro/ace teens. It also illustrates repeatedly that asexuality is so invisible in our culture, most people don't even know it exists, including many of those experiencing it personally. Which is why I desperately wish they'd choose a different title for this! Like, right now. CHANGE IT PLEASE!!! It's not too late :)

It's just odd to me to so effectively make the point that there are many, many asexual teens and pre-teens suffering because they have no idea "asexual" is even a thing, and then use the NICKNAME for it as your title. If you don't already know what "ace" means, that cover doesn't help you at all :( 

Which is such a shame because there's a lot of value here. Just offering assurance to others that they are not alone -- this is not a delayed development issue, or a trauma, or a choice; this is who you are -- is incredibly important.

There are other valuable insights as well, but, oh my, I really, really want to get in there and restructure the narrative in several places. I think there's two main issues:

1. The lack of clarity surrounding the intersection of the author's asexuality and mental health experience.

I think it was a mistake to discuss the mental health issues this much without fully telling that part of the story. The author seems to want the focus firmly on asexuality, which makes sense (although I would have been happy to read about both issues), but she also has OCD/anxiety/phobia issues that can't be completely left out because the extreme anxiety definitely impacted her personal experience with asexuality, and it's very important to understand she sought therapy for her OCD, not her asexuality.

But you either tell the story in full or pare the anxiety/OCD rep way, way back, so it's literally a couple of sentences here and there. She tried to find a middle ground and it muddled the story.

I am demisexual and relatively knowledgeable about mental health and still felt very confused at times. I finished this with so many questions about the mental health stuff, that it almost overwhelmed everything else. Which was made worse by the second issue:

2. The timeline gets wonky and doesn't serve the narrative well.

I think it goes back to the issue of not fully committing to the memoir format. We're autobiographical for a while, and then jump to a more general illustration of concepts -- which is always done really well, so again, I think this would have been a valid choice in storytelling style -- but then we slip back into the personal story at a much later point than we left off, and you've just accepted that we aren't going to see how something played out from point A to B in her personal life when the timeline jumps backward to a third point in the story and starts moving forward again on a completely different track.

The information is all great, but the narrative outline needs a massive re-think. This is what happens when you can't decide between two approaches and end up doing neither especially well. 

And again, it's a shame, because I think it might alienate anyone who's coming into this without a clear grasp on asexuality. A clearer narrative focus would allow for a much greater audience.

Trigger warning for strong, strong anxiety rep: I do not struggle with anxiety, but it jumps off the page so effectively, it almost felt like I did.

I am so happy I requested and was approved for this! This was a very quick and easy read, but packed full of emotion. I, myself, will be honest and say that I was pretty ignorant before about Asexuality and what it meant to be ace. But this book enlightened me and I hope this can be reading material for all young people !

This is the kind of book I wish I had when I was growing up! Besides walking through the basics of a misunderstood sexual orientation, Rebecca Burgess effectively tells by word and art many of the all-too-typical experiences of growing up Ace. If I had this book ten years ago, I would have known more about myself more quickly and would have come out as asexual before 2018.

This book is needed! Being asexual is an experience (like most) that is not one size fits all. However, Burgess tells the story of growing up asexual. It is a heartwarming story with its ups and downs, and a fantastic conclusion.
The pictures are beautiful as well! I am not the biggest graphic novel fan, but the pictures swept me away instantly.
There is also a great message of inclusivity in it. Even though the author is sharing her experience personally, she makes certain to emphasize that there are different kinds of identities on the asexual spectrum, and everyone experiences asexuality differently. Some people want sex, and some don't, and it is all okay!

[arc provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review]

How To Be Ace is one of the few non fiction graphic novel I have ever read and it has quickly become a favourite of mine. I was lucky enough to find out about asexuality pretty early in my life, but I still got the struggles the author had to face in a society where romance and sex are seen as the ultimate goal for everyone. I really loved how she talked about her experience and that she included some useful information for non-ace people or for ace people who still don't know what asexuality is and feel uncomfortable in their own skin. It's so beautiful to see asexual authors finally get their chance to tell their story and I feel like this graphic memoir has been a catharsis for the author. She also talks about mental health in a very raw and heartfelt way, which I think makes this comic even more relatable.
I loved the art style and the colouring, I think they were perfect for this kind of story. It's really hard to judge the plot of a non-fiction book, especially if it's a memoir, but I really loved how it was divided into different section, which were still very linked. I deeply related to this story and I would highly recommend it to anyone. Literally anyone, especially if you feel like ace might be the word to describe you, but even if you are not ace, please read this.

Oh my goodness, I loved this book so much. Rebecca Burgess had me about to cry because I’ve never seen someone describe how I felt growing up so accurately. The artwork beautiful, and storytelling was beautiful. She talks about asexuality and OCD in a such a great way, while leaving room for readers who don’t have OCD or identify as ace to learn more. I just absolutely love love loved it

As someone who identifies as aroace, the experiences described in this book, the emotions the main character feels, were almost identical to mine. It's nice to see that you're not the only one struggling to come to terms with your asexuality. Watching Rebecca force herself into situations and try to convince herself it will happen and she just needs to push herself to want it/like it, just hit so close to home. I honestly wanted to cry at multiple points throughout this book. I also really liked the OCD and anxiety rep because aspects of that are also things I experience, and seeing it in this book made me realize that they're not just weird habits or routines, but more of a bigger issue and a way to control a part of my life that is controllable. Overall, this book was incredible, and I'm so happy I got to read and review it during Asexual Awareness Week.

How to Be Ace is an adorably illustrated memoir in which the author looks back on her life and the events that shaped her knowing now that she is asexual and obsessive-compulsive.

There is so little asexual representation that it was years before I knew it existed, let alone accept that this is something I identify as. We live in a hypersexualized world. Everything from fast-food commercials to the movies we show our children have ingrained in us that in order to be happy and lead a fulfilling life, we need a romantic partnership. And this partnership needs to be sexual or we won't be loved.

Burgess' story was like reliving a portion of my own childhood. Just assuming that sex is something that will occur naturally, that it's something you'll want someday. Never told that it's okay not to want it, that you're not broken or too strange to love. Reading this graphic novel was an emotional experience because while I have accepted my asexuality on a base level, I've never had the opportunity to hear from someone like me before. Someone who also botched their first relationship because even holding hands was too much. Someone who wondered if they were broken because of something in their past. The experience was uplifting and validating!

The art was adorable. It took on a more hand-drawn and painted or watercolor appearance than some other graphic novels that rely on a more digital or computerized style. I liked it! Bleeding colors always work for me in memoir-type stories; giving the appearance of everything on the page existing in memory. I'm not the best at discussing art, but I tried.

I originally assumed from the title that there would be more explanation of the asexual identity in this book. Primarily this is a memoir with a focus on discovering the narrator's asexuality. Chapters end with an explanation of an aspect of asexuality (ex. sexual versus romantic & physical attraction) but the story as a whole did not act as a lesson in asexuality and aromanticism. The story also overlapped the author's experiences with asexuality and OCD. Funny enough this is something I deal with too, although not on the same level as Burgess.

Overall I am very glad I ready How to Be Ace . We need more stories - both fictional and otherwise - that share different experiences and perspectives with the world. I would have loved to have had a book like this in college or even high school. Even if I wasn't ready back then to acknowledge this part of myself, at least I would have known that I was not alone.

Side note: the digital copy I received was partially out of focus, so there were some parts of the comic I could not read and I wanted to mention this in case there is an important point I missed in my review. I am not knocking any points from my star rating because of this.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the eARC copy of this book.

This was a really cute graphic novel and could defiently be helpful for people who want to know more about asexuality, especially if you don't know much about or experiences with it.
I also thought it had a really good depicition of OCD, although I wasn't entirely sure on the main characters "recovery" process, I liked that therapy was featured although I think the poor girl needed a new therapist ahha.
I think my main criticisms with this graphic novel, were it didn't seem to quite know whether it was a informative guide or a story and i think that made it feel a little disjointed in parts. I would also have liked to seen more of the lgbtq community and showing that ace people are part of that, this book brought up the very important discussion that ace people are often dismissed and ostracised by the community but I also feel like portraying this without any of the positives (and not just the few peple who are dicks) could lead to some ace people feeling like they wouldn't be accepted by the community and reinforces this inadvertanetly (i've also encountered this problem in other books with ace protagonists i've read).

This is a graphic novel memoir of one person's experience growing up asexual and with OCD. It's the first graphic novel I've read and the form, although unfamiliar, was easy to follow. The illustration style was very accessible and helped to create the sense that the reader was accessing a safe space in the protagonist's thoughts as they were testing out questioning their identity.

Burgess' book is the perfect introduction to asexuality for anyone who might be questioning, or who just wants to learn more about this identity. The narrative intervention explained different aspects of the ace spectrum while the character questioned their lack of sexual attraction. This side-by-side intervention helps readers to understand how someone may go through the process of beginning to identify as asexual - rather than saving any information about the identity for a big reveal at the end of the protagonist's character arc. Burgess deftly portrays the different aspects of the ace spectrum: that it is not one size fits all, and the possibility that sex and libido might work differently for other asexual folks. Burgess also deconstructs stigma and misconceptions of asexuality.

I really enjoyed following the story and a lot of it felt very relatable. As well as validating my identity, it was an opportunity for me to learn more about how it is living with OCD. The illustrations captured internal thoughts very well. This is a book I wish I'd had while growing up.

The art style was really cute, and I felt really explained what asexuality was from the point of view of someone who is ace. It's easy to pick up a book and look for the definitiion of the word, but by putting into context the suffering that she went through in her teens to understand who she was and that there was nothing wrong with her for not wanting to be physically intimate with someone, it really opens your eyes and puts you in someone else's shoes.

Overall, I loved this book, and I'm so glad that I was able to read it.

Thank you to Netgalley for a chance to review this book. I'm aroace myself, and seeing people like myself in media is still so new to me, and I thoroughly enjoyed this graphic novel. The art style was charming and expressive, and I thought it was very sweet.

I thought the author captured the feeling of being ace perfectly - while there is not 'right' or 'wrong' way to be ace, which is also mentioned in the novel, this comic reflected a lot of my own feelings, especially growing up as ace. I would highly recommend this to all my ace friends, and also my friends who haven't quite understood what it means yet.

Thank you again to Netgalley, and Rebecca Burgess for such a wonderful graphic novel about asexuality.

This was really, really good. I'm ace myself and also struggle with anxiety, so this was like reading a book about my own life. Very good rep and highly reccomend this to everyone.

A very honest book from a point of view not often featured. Very charming drawings. Highly recommended.

Thank you Netgalley for letting me read this book in return for an honest review.

How To Be Ace is a beautiful book about Rebecca's journey through asexuality as well as other important milestones. The art is very pleasing to look at and the story of Rebecca is nice to read, even the harder parts of their journey.
Rating: 4⭐
Would I Read It Again? Yes
Would I Recommend it? Yes

Special thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for providing an e-ARC in exchange for an honest review

There was a period of my life that I thought I was asexual, but it turns out I just genuinely wasn't interested in anyone I went to high school with. With this graphic memoir, I think it's important to remember that this is the author's experience with being asexual, and she repeatedly says that others who identify as asexual may have a different definition from hers. She even explains a few of the various types of asexuality in simple terms, making it very easy for anyone to understand, so do not fear.

I can't imagine how annoying it must be when you tell someone you're not interested in the physical aspects of a relationship and they say, "Oh, you just haven't found the right person yet!" or "Well, you'll never get married if you won't have sex!" As if they are literally the one and only asexual human being out of 8+ billion people and couldn't possibly find a partner. Anytime you go against a societal norm you get the same general type of response. "I am simply aghast that you don't want to do what I want to do! What about that movie I watched on television last night?! The guy ended up with the girl and they had two children, a boy and a girl! It was so sweet! Why don't you want that, too?!?!"

Aside from the ridiculous and occasionally really mean comments that the author endures, this graphic memoir explores more than that. It's a memoir after-all. We go through Rebecca's life as a child, teenager, art school student, an adult during the recession. I went in thinking this would focus solely on her asexuality, but luckily we got a look at the entire person, who is not only asexual, but has OCD and panic attacks. She's also very talented and a really good friend.

I really enjoyed this. I would recommend it to anyone who needs a help understanding asexuality a little better, it sure helped me.

Happy reading!

Asexuality isn't covered enough, so it's nice to have a book that features it front and center. What I do take issue with is that it's titled 'How to Be Ace,' implying that it offers guidance to individuals curious about asexuality. It doesn't, in my opinion. It's a graphic memoir, so it does a great job of sharing the author's experiences in relation to being asexual, but the title is quite misleading.