Being the mother of boys, this was one I both wanted to read and was hesitant to read. Brown does a fantastic job of combining pragmatism with idealism to give real information that just could help our collective sons. The emphasis here isn't on blame or shock factor but what can be done to celebrate and grow as a society.

A really excellent look at gender disparity and all sides of it from a different perspective - and one that is vehemently necessary. Though I'm not a parent and don't plan to be one in the near future, this was extremely informative and got me thinking about the ways I would raise a boy, if I happen to have one. However, any parent of a child (boy, girl, or nonbinary) should read this.

I decided to read TO RAISE A BOY based solely on the title. I didn't read the blurb and didn't take note of the additional titling "Classrooms, Locker Rooms, Bedrooms, and the Hidden Struggles of American Boyhood." I made certain assumptions on the title alone only to have those assumptions dashed in the first paragraph of the book. Despite this potential setback, I have found the book eminently readable and quite hard to put down.

Stereotypes are constructs… not reality. The stereotypical male, portrayed as strong, emotionless and predatory, puts a significant roadblock on the road from boyhood to manhood. Emma Brown, Washington Post journalist, taught her first child, a daughter, to verbalize “I am strong and fearless” from the time she learned to talk. TO RAISE A BOY, written in the wake of the #MeToo movement, is a search for a similar mantra with which to endow her baby son. She felt like she knew how to raise a daughter to be successful in the world, after all, she was once a little girl herself.

The human mind sometimes makes strange connections. As I was reading, I recalled a college instructor of mine who taught computer programming and networking once discussing two points that have governed much of what I do. First, when writing a program, talk to the end user… they know the job and can best explain it despite the fact that management always thinks it knows better. Second, when starting any project, he commented (holding his hand up with thumb and index finger about an inch apart) "do this much planning" followed by (holding his arms wide) "do this much work." He went on to say the converse is also true and a more effective way of getting the job done properly. How did I connect this concept to this book? Think what it takes for that baby boy to become a man as a years-long project. You have that arm's width amount of time to get it right if you start when he is very young. Who is the end-user in this project? Society.

TO RAISE A BOY is written in much the same way any investigative journalist would attack a story. She did research, talked to hundreds of people, and gathered data from various studies. It is also written from the point of view of a woman who thinks herself lacking the skills to accomplish the goal of guiding a boy through his childhood to becoming a man. Ultimately, she came to the conclusion that no matter the gender of a child, ideally we want them to grow up 'comfortable in their own skin.' In light of her research, she came to realize that the mantra she taught her daughter was flawed and came to the conclusion she really wanted both her children to be "strong and gentle."

I love a book that challenges my understanding… a book that makes me think… a book that teaches me something I didn't know. TO RAISE A BOY did all of these things. It is a book for parents, educators and legislators if we are ever to achieve the equality we claim to want.

{Thank you to Atria Books for my gifted copy}

As soon as I saw the title of this book, I knew it was one that I wanted to pick up. To Raise a Boy by Emma Brown is comprehensive and research-backed and upends much of what we thought we knew about boys today. As a mother to two sons, this was an especially fascinating look at not only understanding the many pressures men feel but also how rigidly society defines masculinity right from birth.

Brown emphasized how what boys learn growing up really matters, but it also means we might need to redefine the messages we send and how we "teach boys to be boys". Learning more about the balance between how biology and society shape us into who we are fascinated me.

For example, humans, in general, are born wanting to connect deeply but often from a young age, it is not always something that is as encouraged with boys. This then results in an inaccurate idea of their overall desires for emotional connection.

The subconscious messages boys are often sent are fundamentally different than with girls, and while biology most definitely shapes us, society does too. In order for boys to grow up into men who feel comfortable being themselves (whoever that may be) our interactions, dialogue, and even some of our systems need to be overhauled.

This book left me with so much to think about (from how we talk about emotions and friendships, to our discussions about sex and consent) and is a topic that I could discuss all day long. I highly recommend this thought proving and eye-opening research-backed look at how we define masculinity today - and the changes we can make for the future.

An eye opening important look at raising boys.A book that teaches us the frustration issues that you and your child will go to.Well researched well written a book parents of children will find an amazing asset#netgalley#atriabooks

I received an electronic copy from NetGalley, and I was so happy to have an opportunity to read this book. As a mother of a son, I have tried to educate myself and was deeply influenced by The Trouble with Boys: A Surprising Report Card on Our Sons, Their Problems at School, and What Parents and Educators Must Do. I'd also read and recommended Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World, but this book really meets our current moment, and its author (the Washington Post reporter in whom Christine Blasey Ford confided) is uniquely positioned to do so.
This is a must-read for anyone who is taking part in raising children (teachers, coaches, and parents), especially if they have been focused solely on protecting and raising up girls. Brown is clearly interested in a more equitable future, and finds lots of reasons for hope, but also doesn't pull punches as she describes what boys are up against.

Read if you: Want an informative, eye-opening, frustrating, and hopeful look at challenges boys face, inclduing boys who are African-American, gay, or belong to other marginalized communities.

Librarians/booksellers: A strong selection for your gender studies/parenting collection.

Many thanks to Atria Books and NetGalley for a digital review copy in exchange for an honest review.