I loved this story. A boy who has the weight of the future on his shoulders, and his struggle to deal with that pressure. Knowing what will come to pass, but not knowing when or how, and having no ability to change a thing. What do you do when you know the worst will come? Do you sit in the darkness, hiding from fate? Or do you make a choice to do as much as you can to bring joy and love for the short time that’s left?
This was an emotional one. I laughed, I cried. I felt the pressure of the generations before me, and the things that have come to pass because of narrow minded people. I felt the anxiety of the generations to come after me, and the hope that maybe things will be better for them if I step left instead of right. One person can not bring change on their own, thats the message that rings out loud and clear here. We need to be the change that’s needed, together.
Alex is an incredible character who shows so much courage and growth throughout the story. In the end, his strength stands out like a physical being at his side, and it was simply beautiful to see it. He’s a boy cursed with an ability to see the future, and living with the anxiety of knowing something will happen, and having no control over it. This book is a journey, and a powerful one.

Thank you Netgalley and the publisher for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. This was a great poignant book. I am surprised that we aren't seeing this book overflow social media. Such a powerful books.

The accident that took the lives of the parents of sixteen-year-old Alex and twelve-year-old Isaiah also gave them strange abilities. When he touches a person or an object, Alex can now see its future. Needless to say, it causes him much anxiety and doesn’t allow him to be present in the moment.

Unfortunately, it seems that the close future also has in store another death: that of his brother. In the months after their parents’ death, the two brothers self-isolated, but now that he knows what is going to happen, Alex is determined to make the little time he still has with his brother count. And during this time, Alex finds out a lot about his ancestors, who were brought to the United States as slaves, about himself and his strength, and about being Black in America.

This was such an emotionally difficult read but I would read it all over again and recommend it again and again. The supernatural aspect of it (i.e. Alex being able to see a person or an object’s future) become a great exploratory tool, rather than a distraction, for questions regarding family, romance, and race. On top of this, the writing is poetic, the story is well paced, and the characters very engaging. I’m still a little heart-broken about this book but don’t regret reading it. I feel like I’ll be carrying Alex and Isaiah with me for a very long time.

I was a big fan of Slay and was very excited to see what would come next! I was not disappointed, the story was well written and captivating.

It’s been a while since I’ve finished a book and it stayed in my mind the rest of the night because I couldn’t get over how it made me feel. This book did that to me. Morris has created a beautiful story about brotherhood, heritage and being Black in America. Like They Both Die in the End, we know that Alex has seen his brother die and that we are reading to find out if this comes true or if Alex can stop it from happening. But knowing what might happen doesn’t stop us from falling in love with these characters. This is a book I’m shocked isn’t being talked about more but definitely needs to be.

Brotherhood
Alex and Isaiah are brothers who have barely spoken to each other since their parents die. When Alex sees his brother dying, he decides to make the most of their last few days together. He wants to make them count. Watching these brothers find their way back together and piece together their family history is beautiful. Alex realizes how lucky he is to have Isaiah, but also how lucky he is to be the descendent of so many amazing Black men. Their relationship is strained (to say the least) at the beginning of the novel, but by the end we see how their history and their love reunites them.

When Skin Colour Defines You to Others
The majority of this book deals with the micro aggressions young Black men face on a daily basis, culminating into a massive act of aggression that faces too many Black people. Morris dedicated her book to “all the Black boys who had to grow up to early” and we see again and again in this story how Alex and Isiah have to change their voice, how they speak, how they walk, and all these pieces of themselves when they walk out the door of their home. And it’s awful. I was in tears throughout the end of the story, especially when Alex confronts others about being racist and they try to brush off what happened as an “accident”. It’s heartbreaking and it’s happening in real life every day. Morris beautifully crafted this book to show how racism is seen in the little actions and the big ones and is always, always wrong.

Layered Relationships
This book takes place over a very short amount of time and we are thrust into Alex’s life and the difficult “gift” he’s been given. But this small window of his life contains huge moments for him, including the eventual death of his brother. We wait the entire book with our breath held, not sure when it will happen, but falling more in love with these boys while we wait, knowing it’s just going to hurt even more. It’s the relationships in Alex’s life that are so important - with his brother, his girlfriend, and his aunt. We see how he comes to realize that everything he believes is his burden alone is actually shared by others, whether it’s his curse of being able to see the future or what it means to be Black.

The Cost of Knowing is heartbreaking and needs to be read by everyone. While I wish that Alex hadn’t needed this final day to bridge his relationship with his brother (how different would both their lives be if they’d only started talking years earlier?) this is ultimately a beautiful story about brothers and finding their way back to each other. I'd highly recommend this to anyone who enjoys YA contemporary fiction.

The Cost of Knowing is a gut-wrenching tale of generational trauma, racial profiling, grief, racism, and loss. It's the story of Alex and what it's like for him to be a Black boy in America.

Overwhelmed by anxiety since his parents' death, Alex is just trying to survive each day. Visions of the future come unbidden with every touch of his palm, amplifying his worry. When he sees a vision of his younger brother's imminent death, Alex resolves to spend whatever time he has left bringing Isaiah the joy he deserves.

This story is heartbreaking, all the more so because it echoes the experience of so many young Black people in America. The pain and fear Alex lives with is not an exaggeration or an overreaction, and this novel does not turn away from that injustice.

This book broke me. I haven't sobbed so much while reading in a long time. But it's also so necessary for people like me, a white woman born into a level of privilege and safety I did nothing to earn, to confront. "Well-meaning" white people aren't free from blame. Our whiteness guards us against seeing and understanding the truth of what our ignorance and fear do to those with marginalized bodies. We need to open our eyes. It's long overdue.

Brittney Morris tells Alex's story with compassion, vulnerability, and strength. And it's a story that needs to be heard.

This book was super good! It is also very hard to rate because it was so different. It follows a guy named Alex who thinks his brother is going to die at any moment. His a very anxious character which I related to a lot. The special powers aspect of the book was my favorite part. I would totally recommend this book to anyone. But let them know about the triggers before reading.

The Cost of Knowing - Brittney Morris

This was such a powerful read. We follow Alex, who can see the future of the objects he touches. He finds out his brother Isaiah is going to die soon and panics. Since their parents’ death, they have not be close, and Alex wants to fix this and spend as much time with his brother as possible.

This book is hard to read. Alex deals with so much anxiety throughout the book. I loved watching Alex and Isaiah grow close again and develop their relationship. This book takes place only over a few days and it will keep you gripped and needing to keep reading. I loved Slay by Brittney Morris and highly recommend this one as well. She will definitely be an auto buy author for me!

Sixteen-year-old Alex and his younger brother Isaiah live in a gated community outside of Chicago with their aunt. Since their parents died in a car accident, Alex has had the ability to see the future of any item he touches. He calls this his curse because he can’t touch anything without seeing the future. This includes when he touches his car and sees it sinking underwater, and his girlfriend who he sees breaking up with him when he touches her. These visions make it difficult for Alex to live his life, so he avoids touching things. Even though he has attempted to change these visions, they always come true. One day when he picks up a photo of his family, he sees that his brother is going to die soon. Alex doesn’t have much time to try and save his brother in the few days he has left.

Alex’s power of seeing the future sounds like it could be an interesting power to have, but I could feel his helplessness in this story. He tried to make the visions not happen, but they always came true. Despite him seeing that his brother was going to die, I kept hoping that the vision wouldn’t come true. This feeling reminded me of how I felt reading They Both Die at the End. In that book, despite the title, I kept hoping for a different ending. I had that same feeling while reading this book.

Alex and Isaiah were both Black boys living in a predominantly white neighbourhood. I won’t give away any spoilers, but they had to face racial injustice multiple times in this story. It’s so disturbing to keep reading stories like this and see them reflected on the news. I found this one especially hard to read because it was such an emotional story. Even if you know what’s coming, it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. I really hope these racial injustice stories will one day no longer be relatable, but for now, it’s so important they are told to give people a glimpse of what it’s like to be Black in this world.

This was such a powerful story. I think everyone should read it!

Thank you Simon and Schuster Canada for providing a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This was one of my most anticipated reads and I can definitely say it didn’t disappoint. I was drawn into Alex’s story from the first page. I loved both Alex and Isaiah immediately and their brotherly bond was part of what made the story for me. The inclusion of their powers and the whole story behind it was interesting as well and I love how seamlessly it fit into the story. I knew what was going to happen because of what’s in the synopsis but I hoped beyond all hope that it wouldn’t. So, in short, the story absolutely broke my heart. The writing was lovely and easy to read and follow along with. I will definitely be reading more from Brittney Morris in the future.

Rating: 4.5*

An amazing reading experience. This YA book blends so many issues with care and flexibility... loss, grief, mental health issues, death, racism, hope, family, first love, and the power of, and respect for, those who have come before us.

I believe this book is best approached with a minimal amount of background info, as an open, curious mind will serve this story well. Morris has written strong, empathetic characters that I admired and cheered for. The situations they encounter, and the settings they are in are realistic, yet require the reader to be willing to set any hard ideas of reality aside just a bit. As Morris writes in her dedication, she has written this for all the young Black men who had to grow up too early. Beautifully paced, eloquently written, a heavy yet beautiful story to be savored, and remembered.

Thank you to NetGalley and Simon and Schuster Canada for an advance reading copy in exchange for an honest review.

When I found out about this book, I knew that I had to read it. I 100% recommend SLAY and this one is not any different. It's a must read for everyone! If you need a gist of what it's about: One brother who is stuck in the past, and another that's always weary of looking forward, together they try to navigate a life after the loss of their parents. While Alex tries to avoid making his visions come true, he learns the truth about where his visions come from, and learn to live not in the future, but in the moment before it's too late. So, if you're looking for a good read about brothers, family, and living through passive racism, I'd recommend checking this out.

I had high expectations for this book and it did NOT let me down. I loved Slay, so I had a strong feeling I would love this one as well. First, can we take a moment to appreciate this glorious cover art? Second, the relationship between Isaiah and Alex was so heartwarming to read. Their interactions were some of my favourite moments throughout the book. As a person who deals with anxiety daily, it was so relatable to be inside Alex's head the whole time and feeling what he was feeling. As much as I was anticipating how this book was going to end, I was still thrown. This was a powerful book and I can't wait to read everything Brittney Morris ever decides to write in the future.

Let me start by saying all the thanks to Simon Schuster publishing and NetGalley for the digital advanced readers copy of this great story! I absolutely loved Brittney Morris' first book 'Slay', so I was extremely happy and excited to receive 'The Cost of Knowing' in exchange for an honest review.

This book is about a 16-year-old boy who had to grow up too soon. Alex and his younger brother Isaiah lost their parents at a young age and are now being raised by their Aunt Mackie. Alex is just trying to live his life the only way he knows how. Trying to keep up with his job at the local ice cream shop, trying to maintain a good relationship with his girlfriend, while also trying to be a good role model for his brother. But, Alex has one problem - everything he touches with the palm of his hand triggers him to see into the future. One day Alex touches a photo and what he sees is horrifying - his brother being lowered into the ground in a casket.

I really enjoyed this story and the way Morris builds a relationship between the main characters and the reader. I absolutely loved watching the two brothers form such a strong relationship with each other. It really nailed down the incredible bond between siblings. The end of the book definitely gives you a glimpse into the harsh reality of what Black men go through in America to this day. Being faced with cruel assumptions by those around them based solely on their skin colour.

The only thing I disliked in this story was the redundancy of his visions into the future when he touched inanimate objects. I just felt it was a tad unnecessary.

i have mixed feelings, but one thing's for sure—the love between alex and isaiah hit me so. hard.

first, though: can we just take a sec to appreciate the stunning cover art by alvin epps??

thank you netgalley and simon & schuster canada for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.


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the cost of knowing is, above all, brittney morris' love letter to all the Black men who had to grow up too early.

four years ago, alex rufus lost both his parents in a devastating accident. now, he's sixteen and doing his damnedest to keep it all together: working at the local ice cream shop, being a good boyfriend to beautiful talia, and trying his best to protect his younger brother, isaiah, who has retreated wholly into himself.

on top of all this, alex has a secret.

ever since the accident that took his parents, he's been able to see the future—any time his fingers brush a person or object, he has visions of what will happen to that person/object. it's less superpower and far more curse; his abilities mean that alex can never relax. every minute of every day he is on edge, terrified he will see something he shouldn't. his anxiety, bad enough without these supernatural happenings, is overwhelming.

when alex sees a vision of isaiah's death, everything about the last four years comes into sharp focus. events are set into motion that alex can't stop, but he will do everything he can to save his brother—and, somehow, himself, too.


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thematically, this novel is so strong, so poignant. it is a celebration of Black boy joy (especially through isaiah and alex's brotherhood, and their fierce love for rapper shiv skeptic) while recognizing the heart-rending—life-or-death—injustices faced by Black boys and their loved ones.

the execution, however, was a little scattered. alex's powers play a central role in the story, but i wouldn't hinge your expectations solely on the SFF aspect of the cost of knowing.

the worldbuilding isn't particularly fleshed out; as a reader, you'll just have to accept things as they are told to you. when alex and isaiah discover the root of their curse and how to "fix" it, there isn't much lead-up or complexity. this might bother some readers, but for the most part i was fine with it—i was here to read about the love between the brothers, and in that regard, the cost of knowing more than delivered.

another gripe i have has been mentioned by other reviewers: every time alex touches an object, he has to "cancel" the vision that emerges. this is explicitly described *every* time alex touches something or someone, and it bogged down my reading experience, even as it very effectively conveyed the pervasiveness of alex's predicament. such repetition definitely contributed to alex's—and my—mounting anxiety and frustration.

moreover, i wish that alex and talia's relationship had been more equitably represented, with as much love & joy as there was strife & hurt.

i felt that i was often told, by alex, how much he loved talia—but i didn't get to see as much of this effusive aspect of their relationship shown through his actions or the book's events. rather, the book depicts alex and talia going through several rough patches as alex grapples with his powers and his guilt at deceiving talia. it's clear that talia is so important to alex and they love each other, but for most of the novel their relationship evoked more sadness, hurt, and frustration in me than other emotions.

lastly—the ending of this book gave me whiplash!!!!

the conclusion left me a little dazed. the pacing of the last 15% was so fast, i didn't believe it had happened. i didn't realize that a crucial plot point had just occurred until several pages later—and i had to go back to reread it to make sure it had actually happened.


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i want to end by talking about my absolute favourite part of the cost of knowing: alex & isaiah & their love for each other, especially as it plays out in the shiv skeptic storyline.

shiv skeptic is a rapper beloved by alex, isaiah, and many people around them. he is an immensely talented lyricist and artist, and an emblem of resistance, joy, and pride for Black boys like the rufus brothers. the book's climax takes place at a shiv skeptic concert that alex and isaiah attend—and it was so phenomenally written. the last time i read such visceral writing about music was in kelly loy gilbert's when we were infinite, and brittney morris captures that same euphoria, that sense of music being bigger than me or any other individual.

never is alex's love for isaiah clearer than when they are bonded through shiv skeptic's music.


BOTTOM LINE: i can't wait to read Slay and anything else brittney morris writes. the cost of knowing wasn't perfect, but its themes of love and loss, Black boy joy and hurt, are undeniably important and impactful.

Thank you very much NetGalley, Simon and Schuster Canada (love this publishing company) as well as Brittney Morris (you have done it again). This was an amazing read. I felt the emotion in this book. It was very well written and I could not put it down. I am not a young adult. I am actually in my 40's and this book read so well for me at my age. I read "They both die at the end" and this book reminded me so much about how life is. How we wish we can change things but we can't. We have to focus on being a great person and everything else will fall into place.
Many times I read this book and I kept saying wow..LIFE!. Read it and you will see why.

Thank you so much. This book meant a lot for me to get a chance to read it and to read it in advance was even better.

TW: self harm, death, anxiety, depression, grief, racism, mass shooting
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After losing his parents in a car accident, Alex Rufus can see the future. When he touches a person or an object, he has visions of what will happen. In the future he sees his car in an accident, the ice cream shop he works at being sold, his girlfriend breaking up with him, and, in the near future, he sees his little brothers headstone. But his little brother, Isiah, is not dead yet. Alex knows he urgently needs to figure out how he got this power of his, and stop his vision from happening. Together, the two brothers unravel the past, present and future.
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You definitely need to be in the right headspace to read this book. From early on in the story, the sense of dread was in the pit of my stomach. The panic I felt slowly built up as Alex’s anxiety heightens. At times it felt like the weight of their grief would choke me. I found myself forgetting that Alex was only 16 years old— he’s already carrying the world on his shoulders. My heart ached for him and boys like him. Morris’s writing is excellent— really, really excellent. The characters she has created felt real, they were fully fleshed out. This story was harsh and tragic, but also very hopeful. After everything— despite everything— I felt as though a weight lifted off of Alex’s shoulders. I don’t think I’ll ever stop thinking about this story.
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5/5 stars, THE COST OF KNOWING by Brittney Morris is absolutely incredible and it’s available April 6, 2021!

*ARC provided by NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review*

The Cost of Knowing focuses on Alex, a sixteen-year-old Black boy working part-time at an ice cream shop, who lost both of his parents in a car accident when he was twelve, leaving him with the power (or curse, as Alex sees it) to see into the future whenever he touches an object, or person. Alex's ability is interesting, as each time he touches something, he sees a little bit further into its future. This ability has been nothing but a burden to Alex, who is already someone who experiences extreme anxiety, which is written with such care, precision and accuracy that it would be surprising if the author herself doesn't deal with anxiety.

Alex has predicted people's deaths in the past, that of his best friend (and girlfriend's brother, Shaun, for example), and he has spent three years regretting the way he dealt with that knowledge. So when he touches an old photograph of his family and discovers that his younger brother, Isaiah, is destined to die, and soon, he sets out to repair their fractured relationship and give Isaiah as much support and happiness as possible in his final days.

This book was not an easy read, but it was so intriguing I read it almost entirely in one sitting. Alex has such a strong voice and his anxiety is so consistent and believable, the things he worries about that might make little sense to someone without anxiety, make so much sense when that's how your brain is wired, especially with Alex's added ability to know, and have to constantly worry about, bits of his own future.

The book explores mental illness, generational trauma, grief, toxic masculinity, and a beautiful sibling relationship. There is a lot of joy in this book despite the heavy subject matter and the undeniable amount of pain faced by Alex and Isaiah.

I received an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.

This book was so great!! I feel like I sped through it because I really didn’t want to out it down. I loved Alex and how he grew throughout, not just with Isaiah but with all of his relationships.

This book gave me They Both Die at the End feels, which is a good thing because that is one of my fave books of all time. So if you liked that, you will like this.

One main thing was I found the book started out a bit slow. It took a little while to hook me. But, it was worth the wait because once I was hooked, I was HOOKED.

A YA fiction book that talks about the realities of racism and being a Black male in America with a magical spin to the characters and story.

From the beginning of the book with the dedication all the way to the end, this book truly is a love letter to Black boys who are not given the opportunity and privilege to be seen and live as boys. When I first started reading, I was worried about whether the concept of having super powers (/magical curse) would overshadow the rest of the story but it really didn't! If anything, it created more suspense. Knowing what would happen but not knowing when or how made my heart race while I was reading.

I also really loved the ways Alex and Isaiah were portrayed in this book. With Concrete Rose having come out earlier this year, having real and humanizing depictions of Black boys and Black men in stories is so powerful. In the timeline of this book, Alex was an amazing big brother to his little brother Isaiah. He had anxiety, he had pressure, he was vulnerable, he cried, and he showed emotion - basically the opposite of how Black boys and men are often portrayed in the media. Really enjoyed this novel and can't wait for it to come out so young people everywhere can read it.