The story follows Jonah, a young barely-making-it-by New Yorker trying to catch his big break and Richard, a successful award winning playwright. The two form a relationship that quickly moves from the city into the Hamptons and that’s when things take a turn for the worse.

Talk about a book hangover! I was shooketh! I didn’t know how to feel once I was finished. Jonah was a little problematic for me and his behavior at times was atrocious. But once Jonah became a victim it was hard for me to sympathize for him. Of course he didn’t deserve the abuse but he also didn’t seem to want to hold the men accountable even if it meant saving someone’s life. Jonah was very broken and whether the author intended him to be unlikeable it’s up for debate. I still very much enjoyed this because it definitely makes you question what you would do to survive. The ending for me took a little bit of a hard left turn that ultimately provided some sort of healing which I could appreciate.

Yes, Daddy shines the spotlight on the subject that is all too familiar; older, rich men who abuse their power on younger victims. In this case we’re exploring a MeToo story in the gay community and it’s not for the faint of heart.

Rating this 4.5 stars

Even after all of the reviews I read for Yes, Daddy, I was still not prepared for this book. This started as a very dark thriller where I found myself holding my breath as I read, hoping that our main character, Jonah Keller, would make it through unscathed.

As the story progressed, it seemed to become less of a thriller and more of a narrative around the effects of trauma. Reading Yes, Daddy felt like peeling back the layers of the story to discover there was more to grapple with the further in we went.

Jonah’s journey through the story is often painful, but explores tough topics in a brutal, eye-opening way. Yes, Daddy reminds readers that trauma follows us and is something we need to grieve and understand in order to fully process.

I had so many mixed emotions while reading this. I loved the writing and thought the way that the author framed the narrative was absolutely perfect. This was a book I didn’t want to put down, but simultaneously didn’t know if I could keep reading.

There are a lot of triggering events in this book, so I encourage you to check out the content warnings on my review and others. Please be sure to also check out #ownvoices reviews as well!

CW: sex, rape, drugs, alcohol, domination, homophobia, conversion therapy, suicidal thoughts, suicide, trauma, arson.

Jonathan Parks-Ramage took us for a ride with his debut Yes, Daddy. With the title and premise, I had an idea about how things might turn out, but I was not prepared for the reality of this book. Steamy and brutal at the same time and thought provoking with the themes of sexual assault and the use of social media. The way Jonathan wrote this book was refreshing to me. A crucial choice was made in the structure that adds a very personal touch to the story. The setting of the book of course stood out to me. While books set in NYC are common, to have one set on (yes, on) Long Island is very exciting to me. And yes, Hicksville is a real place here.
Jonah’s life takes many turns, especially in the second half of the book, but it made me think of the many turns a person’s life can actually take in such a short period of time. As my 30th birthday is approaching this summer, I am reminded of the turns I went down, and how I somehow ended up as a semi-functioning human adult.
Jonathan packs some incredibly tough topics into Yes, Daddy that many queer people will be able to relate to. Buckle up kids, and make sure you have a swimsuit.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of this novel in exchange for an honest review. It is set to be published in May 2021.

"Yes, Daddy" by Jonathan Parks-Ramage is a difficult book to review, just as it was a difficult book to read.
I can't say I enjoyed it in the true sense of the word because the themes are simply too dark and the story too full of despair, but it was certainly a gripping read, and beautifully written.
The characters - including the protagonist - are chillingly horrifying, the plot is perfectly crafted and the language is deliciously refined.
The only thing that didn't sit well with me is the huge gap that separates the first and second part of the book, not only with regards to the topics covered but also with regards to the pacing (the first part starts off slow then steadily speeds up, the second one brings the pace back down and never accelerates again). The atmospheres are also completely different, so much so that the reader gets the impression to be catapulted into a completely different novel.
I have to admit, I liked the first half (the gothic/thriller part) much better than the second one (the drama/redemption part), because the former felt raw and authentic, whereas the latter felt fake, like wishful thinking. If the novel had only dealt with the events of 2009 (or maybe 2009-2011) I would have given it 5 stars.
Anyway, I'm definitely intrigued by the author's style and I'll be sure to check out his next works, as well as the Amazon adaptation of this novel.

A page-turner which I could put down. The plot didn't let up at all in emotional gut-punches and brutality. This was a novel that interrogated internalized homophobia in a brutal unrelenting fashion. I'm not one to read gothic novels, and especially not psychological thrillers. I appreciated that there was a real purpose in the sexual violence, in the novels unpacking of queer trauma.

YES, DADDY by Jonathan Parks-Ramage tells the story of Jonah, a young, gay, aspiring playwright in New York, who, like so many young artists in New York, is in a desperate financial situation. With painstaking precision, he leverages his youth and sex appeal for a shortcut to New York theatre's inner circle and gets much more than he anticipated. What starts as a dream scenario soon takes a dark turn that will have far-reaching consequences.

After a chilling prologue, YES, DADDY takes the reader on a brooding and often brutal thrill ride. The clever narrative device and the heaviness of the language draw the reader into this world of desperation, sexual tension, and power plays. The first half of the book breezes by in a whirl of eerie events, odd characters, unabashed gayness, sexuality, and brutality, at times verging on camp.

The second half is more of a surprise. Several years after the events in the first half of the book, Jonah has a more personal reckoning with what happened to him in the first half of the book, the others involved, and the childhood traumas that led him into such a dire situation. Mostly absent of thrills, the rest of the book moves more slowly and delves into societal critique around social media, mental health, religion, sexuality, and rape culture, particularly in regards to the gay community. Expect a more human story tinged with both despair and hope.

I have to say the marketing for this book has done it somewhat of a disservice. Readers expecting a dark and sexy thriller will be in for a surprise, possibly a disappointment, with the back half of the book. YES, DADDY is more of genre-bending story, which I think is extremely well done. The ideas and themes here are not exactly new, thanks to the #metoo movement, but they're presented in a wholly original way. I hope readers are pleasantly surprised the way I was.

Non-exhaustive list of content warnings: rape, physical violence, underage drinking, sexual assault, kidnapping, infidelity, drug use, cruelty to animals, suicide, suicidal ideation, religious fanaticism

Yes, Daddy follows Jonah, a young ambitious gay man who just moved to NYC and is trying to make it as a playwright. Jonah meets Richard, a very rich and successful playwright. Jonah is lured into Richard’s glamorous life. They start a passionate love affair and Jonah thinks this could be his big break as a playwright. What he gets is a summer of horrific and traumatic experiences on Richard’s Idyllic Hamptons compound that drastically impacts the rest of his life.

I found this dark and twisted story so compulsively readable. It was very interesting to hear a Me Too story from a young gay man’s perspective. The toxic power dynamic between young men and older established men is sadly very prevalent in our culture, yet can be overlooked. This story felt very raw and unfortunately realistic. It touches upon religion and homophobia, sexual assault and the media, and toxic/abusive relationships in general. I found Jonah’s character to be very dynamic and well developed. We witnessed him endure so much trauma throughout his life but also get to see him navigate processing everything and grow.

Thank you to Houghton Mifflin Harcourt and NetGalley for providing me with an eARC in exchange for an honest review!

Jonah Keller would be an unsympathetic narrator of Jonathan Parks-Ramage’s debut novel, Yes, Daddy, but for the circumstances by which his life begins to spiral into chaos, and the resulting horrors that spring from it. This book asks much of its readers as we examine what is and is not understandable, what is and is not forgivable, who is redeemable, and how deeply our empathy runs for a character who consciously defies what are, by and large, considered moral and ethical absolutes, principles that should be black and white but which are clouded by gray areas that mean we question if he was pushed into the seemingly bottomless well of poor choices he makes, or if he deliberately jumps in with eyes wide open.

Jonah’s story is, at its heart, a cautionary tale about a son whose downfall comes at the hands of his parents’ Evangelical fervor and their belief that he must “pray the gay away” to redeem his soul and earn his eternal salvation. The ways in which Jonah’s mother and father betray their son’s trust for his own perceived good, not to mention how Jonah is manipulated by their chosen method of “help”, leaves the family wrecked beyond reconciliation, the result of which is the impetus for every bad decision Jonah makes from then onward. Whether this exonerates Jonah in the end is for the reader to decide.

The cast of characters surrounding Jonah are, with few exceptions, despicable creatures. Frankly, that’s putting it mildly. Jonah’s ambitions to become a successful playwright means he’ll stop at nothing to achieve that dream, which includes fleeing to New York City and subsequently seducing the much older Richard Shriver, a famous playwright himself, who can connect Jonah to the right people to help him achieve his goal. To say Jonah jumped from the proverbial frying pan into the fire is much too cliched for the series of events that occur once he has firmly ingratiated himself to the man he sees as his ticket to fame and fortune. Jonah’s plan comes very near to ruining his life as he is used and abused and abused some more, until his already depleted sense of self-worth is exhausted.

To say Yes, Daddy is a story about people with Mommy and Daddy issues might be oversimplifying the plot, and yet there isn’t a healthy or fully-functioning parent/child relationship in it, which imparts a certain level of insight into the dysfunction of its characters while not at all excusing the vile and horrendous situations Jonah finds himself in, or the horrors perpetrated against him when Richard reveals a darker side to his character. Jonah accompanies Richard to his Southampton compound for what was supposed to be a romantic getaway and a relaxing retreat from the city. The crimes committed on Jonah there—and to the other young men acting as house staff—means strong Content Warnings should be heeded for rape, conversion therapy, human trafficking, abuse, suicide, and, least of all, gaslighting. To say that the people who exist in Richard’s sphere are a pack of psychopathic narcissists bereft of anything resembling basic humanity and decency is not overstating the truth in the slightest.

Parks-Ramage delivers a story in Yes, Daddy that’s part horror, part psychological thriller, and part cautionary tale about the sort of damage that can be wrought by elevating religion to the point of rejecting compassion and reason. I was by turns fascinated and repulsed by both the characters and the story, which is to say the author has penned a successful debut that drew me in, kept me in conflict, made me feel things I didn’t necessarily want to feel, and left some evil deeds unsatisfyingly unpunished. In the end, however, there is redemption, albeit by way of so much loss and destruction, and a reconciliation that one could feasibly call a happy ending if looking at things from a hopeful point of view.

Wow what to say about this book! This was heavy and dark and very emotional. I felt like the characters were developed so well and i felt for Jonah. Every emotion he felt was conveyed on the page and he felt like a real person. They all did. Even the minor characters had a story and it’s like you could picture yourself there with them throughout the whole thing. I felt angry, hurt, sad, heartbroken!

Jonah endured so much in his life and i just wanted to hold him and tell him it’s ok. This is a devastating story but it’s real and raw and unfortunately things like this happen far too often and victims are always put on trial just as much as the monster committing the crimes & i think that’s a powerful message in the book. The public can be so damning and hard to face to where a victim can’t get justice or they’re too scared to try.

I feel like this is a book that will stick with me and haunt me for a long time.

🌟Book Review🌟 Yes Daddy by Jonathan Parks-Ramage

⭐️⭐️⭐️ 3/5. I was not prepared for this dark and very unsettling debut.

There is a lot to like about this story of an aspiring actor who begins dating a famous, older playwright, only to discover that he is a mega-predator in the vein of Harvey Weinstein (but even worse). The author does a nice job of layering in insights about growing up gay in a religious family, trying to make it in the entertainment industry, and celebrity click-bait culture. Ultimately, though, I was not the right reader for this. I have discovered that stories about abuse are really, really hard for me to read and I should have paid more attention to the multiple trigger warnings on this one (rape, physical and sexual assault, abusive relationships, accusations of incest, human trafficking, suicide, drug use, homophobia, conversion therapy). The story was darker than I was expecting it to be based on its marketing.

Thank you to NetGalley and Houghton Mifflin Harcourt for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.

This review will be posted to Instagram (@sanfranliterarygal) and Goodreads.

I thought the book was interesting to read. Some of the more graphic parts were unsettling, but that was the point. The author did well to make me feel unsettled at the beginning, horror in the middle and conflicted at the end, I liked that I wasn’t sure how I felt about the main character. He wasn’t a hero but a protagonist. However, the end fell a bit flat for me.

This is exactly what I expected based on the description. I was hoping for something innovative in this storyline.

I found this book extremely compelling. I could not stop reading and finished it in one day. It was very well-written and I found Jonah's internal dialogue especially compelling. The plot was paced well and scary.

I also think the author did a good job addressing many of the serious issues Jonah faced and the different ways victims of sexual assault care react/behave. I did start to feel that there were maybe too many traumatic incidents towards the end of the book (for example, the rape by Matt).

Overall, I think this is a well-paced, well-written compelling book and I would read future work by this author.

I had a really hard time rating this one. The writing is so good it borders on beautiful but I think this just isn't my kind of story. It was really heartbreaking while also being really heavy and dark. For being less than 300 pages, there were trigger warnings abound: rape, alcoholism, drugs, homophobia, conversion therapy, religion, BDSM, sexual assault, murder, abusive relationships...It definitely is for a very particular audience.

TW: sexual harassment, sexual slavery, sexual abuse, drug use and addiction, pedophilia, mentions of incest, conversion therapy, violence, depression, suicide.
Thanks to Netgalley and Houghton Mifflin Harcourt for this ARC.
Yes, Daddy follows the story of Jonah Keller, a waiter in NYC with an evangelical background that dreams of becoming a playwright, but can't even pay his rent. That's when Jonah discovers Richard Shriver, a famous (and rich) playwright that can make his dreams come true.
Jonah orchestrates their meeting and they engage on a passionate affair.
On summer, Richard invites Jonah to his estate in the Hamptons with some of his closest friends. That's when Jonah starts to realize there's something wrong: young waiters with bruises on their bodies, one of Richard's friends, Sandro's underage boyfriend, but decides to ignore it since Richard's "little family" is everything he has. But it doesn't take long for Jonah to get thrown out of Richard's inner circle and becomes one of the waiters in Hamptons.
Yes, Daddy was really different from what I expected but it was not disappointing. The narration was fluid, the narration kept me hooked and I think the chapters were perfectly divided. I ended up reading half of the book in one night. Even though I do understand the reason of the amount of graphic scenes but still felt so hard to read it. Still, I have to praise Jonathan Parks-Ramage writing, I just couldn't stop reading it once I started the book. Yes, Daddy is an amazing book but I don't think I'd have the strength to read it all again.

3.5/5.0 ⭐

This book put me through the wringer and I do not say that lightly. Trigger warnings for <spoiler> Rape, Conversion Therapy, Sexual abuse, indentured servitude, suicide & drug abuse. </spoiler>.

I should've known that this was not going to be a fun escapist dive into "daddy-boy" dynamics the highly misleading title suggests after reading the prologue. The prologue that, after finishing, had me taking a step back to calm my raging temper because I thought, "f&ck that narrator for real" .

However, as I continued to read on (because why not?), I realised that this was a dark, deeply disturbing and tragic story of a young man that had to endure nightmarish things, just for the chance to experience a sense of belonging and acceptance.

Also, I read the things that kept happening, even in places one was supposed to be "safe", I went from wanting nothing to do with our protagonist, to pitying, sympathising and finally actually rooting for him to get help for the horrors he'd been through. Yes, some of these were due to his own actions or inactions but when trauma comes into the equation, it's difficult to place blame solely on a person.

Writing-wise, this was very well done with the story managing to keep me hooked, even at the horrifying moments I wanted to give up. The structure of the book also helped with the flow of the storytelling and even with the tentative ending, I felt it was realistic enough to make me satisfied.

Very well done to this debut author!!

I expected to like this book, it’s cover luring with the promise of something sexy and dark, perfect for summer. What I didn’t expect was how parts of this felt like JR Rampage had cracked open my head and taken a gander at some personal life moments.
-The agent as old as my father who in a 1st meeting told me to take off my shirt so he could see my body.
-Another agent-also significantly older-who brought his colleague to my work one evening at Borders. When they followed me up the stairs to the cafe, the two men took turns grabbing my ass, laughing like schoolgirls.
-My first gay Hollywood party amidst a sea of model looking men. White teeth flashing as a well known Producer from a hit show at the time sat leaning forward,his hand on the knee of some young blonde twink as thé Producer propelled whatever conversation could exist between two people with nearly 30 years between them. I understood immediately the power dynamic that was happening and the expected currency.
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So meeting his protagonist young Jonah Keller, aspiring writer in New York City, I understood immediately who this kid was & the world he was dropped in. Jonah has ambition crossed with naïveté when he meets the older and talented Richard Shriver who sweeps him off his feet &!showers him with lavish dinners, expensive gifts & the promise of his own eventual success. But a weekend in the Hamptons quickly moves from dream to nightmare, and Jonah finds himself confronted with a horrifying reckoning.
The first half is hard to put down, and in the age of Harvey Weinstein, Jeffrey Epstein, and Kevin Spacey rings with sickening truth. The surprise for me was where the 2nd half of the book went, bringing up a plot point I’m not going to go into for fear of spoilers but will simply say, having been raised in a religiously conservative home that wasn’t particular thrilled at the time of the prospect of a gay son I found lots to identity with here.
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Rampage has written a thought provoking novel at times salacious and also quite funny, but also quite brutal in its #metoo depiction. A story that sadly is probably more fact than fiction for many gay young men.

It appears we are in a renaissance period for crime fiction from LGBTQ+ perspectives. It is not that these stories never existed before, but now we are witnessing the end of the days when they were deemed “special interest” or hidden away in the farthest reaches of the local bookstore. Just as we are seeing with Writers of Color, other marginalized voices are resonating with a wider swath of the reading public. Many authors are taking the existing sub-genres and the tropes that are so familiar to fans of crime fiction and disrupting their expectations by introducing LGBTQ+ characters and themes in ways that are both creative and impactful.

Take for example, Jonathan Parks-Ramage’s Yes, Daddy. This novel weaves threads of both domestic suspense and gothic romance together with the coming-of-age tale of a young gay man trying to find his footing in world where his youthfulness and naivety become burdens that others abuse, flaunt, and ultimately weaponize.

Jonah Keller yearns to one day be a famous playwright, but he is tired of the struggles necessary to reach this goal. He knows first-hand that those with money have a better chance of gaining the power and influence needed to succeed. When he sees an opportunity to meet Pulitzer-Prize-winning playwright Richard Shriver, he hopes that maybe his luck is changing. But, instead of a mentorship, Jonah and the much-older Richard begin a steamy love affair. Lulled by the lavish treatment bestowed upon him, Jonah is oblivious to the many signs that this fantasy lifestyle conceals much darker truths. When Richard invites Jonah to his secluded compound in the Hamptons, what should be a relaxing getaway instead becomes the start of a nightmare.

Domestic Suspense fans will recognize the dynamic of the powerful man who wants to control every aspect of the relationship, all while manipulating minor details in subtle ways. Meanwhile, it is impossible not to think back to the gothic novels of Victoria Holt and Phyllis A. Whitney when witnessing Jonah being swept away – not to a castle or monastery – but to an estate in the ultra-rich Hamptons. There is even a direct reference to Daphne du Maurier’s Rebecca within the novel. By centering Jonah Keller in the role of the virginal “ingénue,” Jonathan Parks-Ramage shatters the illusion that only women are victims of this type of abuse and control.

It is even possible to list off the trope elements within Yes, Daddy. Everything from gaslighting and complicity to self-esteem issues and trauma, yet because they are detailed in the context of a gay relationship, these elements feel fresh and untested. Yes, Daddy leaves readers with the sense the regardless of gender, unsolicited magnanimous gestures often come with hefty price tags. At one point, Richard even says to Jonah “The things we worship eat us alive” and that will resonate with readers in profound ways as they follow along on Jonah’s unfortunate journey.

Yes, Daddy speeds along at a propulsive pace and the fact that Jonathan Parks-Rampage eliminates any extraneous scenes or information make this a speedy read; however, readers will find themselves ruminating on much that occurred long after closing the cover. Without a doubt, those readers will eagerly await Jonathan Parks-Ramage’s next novel.

A huge thank you to Houghton Mifflin Harcourt and NetGalley for providing me with an eARC in exchange for an honest review!

“𝗧𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮 𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗴𝗶𝗳𝘁. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗴𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱. 𝗖𝗼𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁, 𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆, 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝘁. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻’𝘁.“

When I first saw this on NetGalley, the title immediately caught my attention but I stayed for the synopsis. At first, I felt like maybe a MM, taboo, age gap, BDSM romance but later I realize that there are much more important, relevant and heavy topics tackled in this book. Topics in which can be triggering and bothering to some so I’ll be including warnings that may be spoilery but I know that books like this aren’t for everyone so better be safe! Fans of My Dark Vanessa will surely like this.

CW: rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse, violence, domestic abuse, homophobia, mentall illness, drugs, gaslighting and suicide

𝙔𝙚𝙨, 𝘿𝙖𝙙𝙙𝙮 follows Jonah, an aspiring writer in NYC, who is barely making ends meet with his constantly overdued rent and low income jobs by getting unwilling financial help from his mother. He comes across Richard Shriver online who is a much older, wealthy, successful playwright, author and screenwriter. He quickly realizes that he’s exactly this man’s type so he devises a plan to seduce him and make his way up by being a part of his world. Eventually, he bankrolls Jonah’s lifestyle and all is good until the opening night of Richard’s new play where he publicly slaps Jonah. Things take a darker turn after that and is quickly followed by events Jonah would have never expected when he got into that relationship.

With that alone, I was intrigued with what goes down further in their relationship but I didn’t expect it to go down that path. I couldn’t stop reading as I felt for Jonah and everyone else in the compound in those traumatic scenes. I’m as shocked, angry and sad as them while I read and it breaks my heart knowing that this might be a work of fiction but fiction is always inspired by real life events and as someone who is familiar with stories like the ones the victims experienced in this book from all those articles I’ve read (e.g. the case with Harvey Weinsten), I’m angry at the world for letting things like this happen to people who just wants to survive. I’m angry at the powerful and wealthy who exploits the helpless.

Also, I’ve always been interested in reading stories about traumatic events and the like through the victim’s POV. I think it’s such an informative and eye-opening way of learning about their experiences and thoughts in situations like that. It helps readers especially those who haven’t experienced it (and I pray to god that they never will) to be more aware of what these people have gone through and be more empathetic of them.

Overall, this book was a definite page turner! It was so heartbreaking, frustrating, enraging and just so sad. The author’s writing is captivatingly powerful and so easy to get into. I devoured this so fast! It’s hard to stop once you learn of Jonah and his unforgettable story. This is such a remarkable debut and I’ll definitely be looking out for the author’s future works!

This is a dark ass book and a perfect example of what happens when I read too many MM Romances. I'm guessing I read the first part of the synopsis and either didn't finish or blocked out the last portion when/after I requested a review copy.*

Don't get me wrong, the fact that it's dark definitely doesn't take away from it being a good book, I just had no idea that it got dark and then even darker before starting to get a little lighter at the end. I did not like the protagonist, Jonah, and I do not think he redeemed himself by the end (and that is in no way victim blaming), he just wasn't likeable.

And that's saying a lot because of what he went through. I'm not sure if it's Parks-Ramage's writing and the way Jonah came across as unwilling to accept responsibility or to even make decisions for himself. I may need to revisit this, however, because I'm now thinking about Fanny Price from Mansfield Park and how much I love her as a character because of the debates around nature/nurture and damnit I don't want to like Jonah.

I think, by far the most frustrating thing to me was how clear all the signs were things were happening. I don't know if it's because of how the book started with a prologue at the trial to convict one of the abusers, but OMG I wanted to shake Jonah and yell at him WAKE THE F*CK UP and read the context clues. I don't blame him for what happened, he was played masterfully though I don't think he ever understood it (even at the end), but the trauma can't be denied.

It was a cruel irony—the vulnerabilities that made these boys perfect targets for Richard and company were the same vulnerabilities that destroyed their credibility as witnesses in a court of law. (Chapter 20)

Like this line above, I mean it wasn't irony. It was clear planning and strategy on behalf of Richard and company. They knew exactly who to target for their abuse and their kidnaping. They knew that those who were abandoned or estranged would have other issues and even taking a gamble on Jonah paid off. Jonah had so many delusions that what you read in that prologue was just the tip of the iceberg, his ability to bullshit himself was epic and I am surprised at how many people bought into it. But the #MeToo interaction at the end of the novel was a fascinating (and 100% apt) commentary on today's state of journalism.

Trauma is like a gift. The shittiest fucking gift in the world. Coal in your motherfucking stocking. But the minute you receive it, it becomes yours. And it's your responsibility, what you do with it. And you can use it as an excuse to destroy your life and destroy the lives around you, but you shouldn't. (Chapter 27)

The only time I felt bad for Jonah was after he thought everything was put behind him and then he basically experienced the same thing AGAIN, but this time through religion. That was heartbreaking because at what point will he wake up and realize what's happening. Is it an addiction? I mean it's the same pattern just with a different abuser/perpetrator guised in religion this time instead of fortune and fame. The person who does it, follows the same M.O. and uses Jonah for what he needs to get ahead and then rapes him. Jonah seems to move on from this one, but we're left wondering.

The other thing about this novel was how messed up the parental issues of ALL the characters. From Jonah's issues with his evangelical family and false accusations of molestation (a result of conversion therapy pressure) to Richard's hella messed up mommy issues that he forced Jonah and Mace to reenact while they were being raped (probably by far the most uncomfortable scene of the entire work).

'Because if I were to say one honest thing to my mother, I would have to say them all.' Richard sighed. 'And even if I were brutally candid about the pain she's caused me over the years, she wouldn't hear it. Denial is my mother's superpower.' (Chapter 2)

That being said I couldn't help but identify with this quote. I mean I had my own mom issues, but this one hit home and I think a lot of people who have moms of the same generation as mine would agree. And that's based on conversations with a few friends. It's perhaps more to do with time of life when you actually start interacting with your parents as adults, but I think it's something more than that.

Other random things I found interesting:

You are only allowed to refer to me like this from now on: "He wasn't fat—he was substantial." (Chapter 1)
I think I need to read du Maurier's Rebecca, aside from a lot of people loving it, it's clearly part of the cultural zeitgeist because I understood a whole conversation about it without them mentioning the title until the end.
I love it when books connect to each other and there's been a weird connection trailing for months now with this one tying back to Wolf Hall with Richard receiving an ARC and saying: "'If I have to read one more word about Thomas Cromwell, I will fucking kill someone." (Chapter 12)

And to end on the trauma of the novel. There were some pretty harrowing scenes, none of which were gratuitous, and they definitely left my stomach churning, but even with those scenes the one that probably hit home the most was when Jonah cut himself and had an interaction with the one wife of the four abusers. The rawness of that scene and the ensuing scenes just left me hollow inside.

Recommendation: This was a harrowing dark read and felt like it was from a more seasoned author, not a debut. There are definitely scenes that turned my stomach and times I wanted to yell at the protagonists and I honestly don't know how I feel about where things left off, but isn't that the sign of a good book? It riled me up and gutted me. It made me want to cry at the helplessness of some of the characters and even made me hope at various times throughout the novel, to what end I'm still not sure. Overall, I think it's worth the read and I'll keep an eye out for Parks-Ramage's second novel to see if his writing stands up.