I don't know why it has taken me so long to review this book. It's been sitting in my Netgalley shelf for almost a year, and I still don't quite have the words to describe my experience of reading it.

Simply put, I HAD A BROTHER ONCE is a memoir-in-verse chronicling the author's experience of his brother's suicide. And that's all it really is. There is no plot, no great revelation, just ... the experience of grief.

And it absolutely shattered me.

Mansbach's verse is sparse, tightly-wrought, and so, so RAW. There were moments where I had to keep re-reading lines because they felt true in ways I couldn't pin down, and many moments when I felt physically compelled to keep turning pages. It isn't an easy read (obvious TW for suicide) but despite its short length, I'm certain BROTHER has impacted me in a quiet, powerful way.

This book is a very intimate look at what could be going on behind a person who is going through both a career high and an unspeakably painful personal loss. I want to applaud the author for being so brave and sharing this very vulnerable and personal experience with the readers.

A poem and memoir in one, I Had a Brother Once had me in tears on more than one occasion. Well written and touching.

This is brilliantly expressed prose about absence and loss. It describes both the relationship Adam had with his brother and the lack of understanding he feels when that relationship is suddenly severed by his brother's suicide.

I am so deeply in awe of this book. Read my full review on Medium: https://hanherself.medium.com/review-of-i-had-a-brother-once-by-adam-mansbach-505a5509fda9

This book takes your breath away and is both deeply insightful and profoundly questioning. At times I had to step away, at times compulsively read, and in the end feel grateful the author shared such intense and intimate feelings about his brother.

“my father said
𝘥𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦

& I answered as if I didn’t
understand or hadn’t heard.
my reply was 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵? & he
repeated it. there is plenty
to regret & perhaps this
is insignificant but I wish
I had not made him
say it twice.”

On 28 May 2011, two weeks before the release of Adam Mansbach’s bestseller, ‘Go the F**k to Sleep’, his younger brother, David, took his own life. The author, booked on an extensive publicity tour, promoted his children’s book all the while privately grieving this inconceivable loss.

In an IGTV interview with Kate Schatz, Mansbach says: “It me three weeks to write this book, but it also took me nine years and three weeks to write this book ... I think the larger fact is that I wasn’t really ready emotionally to take this on and I don’t know what changed to allow that, I mean in a way that allowed the form to unlock the emotional ability ...”

A memoir in verse, ‘I Had a Brother Once’ is composed of long stanzas of free verse. The writing is uncapitalised, an easy way to read the lines without breaks in flow or loss of concentration.

Again, the author comments: “A lot of the book is me grappling with, on one hand, my desire to craft a narrative ... and my impulse to resist crafting a narrative, because I know that I don’t have answers, I don’t have the truth about what my brother went through and what he did and in a way it feels like the more you repeat one narrative, the more it congeals and coalesces into a singular truth.”

‘I Had a Brother Once’ is striking in its vulnerability, in how Mansbach is so willing to write about his experiences while not having answers. How do you celebrate the life of somebody who chose to end their life? How do you mourn a person who decided not to be here anymore? How to you learn to live with it?

A huge thank you to @NetGalley and @OneWorldBooks for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

This is a raw, honest, brave, intensely personal and unflinching memoir/memorial/poem written by the author to/about his brother who took his own life. Suicide is one of the cruelest deaths because the survivors are left to deal with not only their loss, but the immense questions of why? and could anything have been done to prevent this?

This is a remarkable read in that the author, while writing of his own reactions, memories, and attempts to make sense of his brother's decision, captures so clearly the essence of his love, anger, and confusion that so many others also face.

To the author, I am so sorry for your loss! Thank-you for giving voice to your experience.

I received an e-copy of this book from NetGalley and Random House One World. All opinions expressed here are my own.

I was expecting this to break me, and it did not disappoint. Mansbach writes a story that is equally well-crafted and personal. Though the medium of poetry, he shows the reader who his brother David was before, during, and after his death, as well as how he affected those who were left behind. Anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one to suicide can relate to the honesty and reality that Mansbach writes. The only criticism I had against the book is that the chapter breaks were kind of weird. Some would carry on to an entirely new part of the story and others continued where the last chapter left off. It seemed as though they were only there to break up the long poetry, but I think I would have preferred it as one large piece. Overall, I recommend this to anyone who has felt the pain of losing a loved one to suicide or just wants to read a personal account from someone who has.

Heart wrenching haunting from the title which immediately gets your attention.Written as a long poem free versus a poem a memoir.Sharing the heartbreak of his brothers death combined with the authors life,A book so unique so emotional so open raw feelings .A book that will stay with you.#netgalley #randomhouse

The subtitle says it all: I Had a Brother Once is both a poem and a memoir; a free form verse that tells the story of a life going on after another life ends. Other than the potty-mouthed picture books he’s famous for (Go the F**k to Sleep et al), I didn’t know of Adam Mansbach’s work (which I now understand to be wide-ranging and lauded), and without that knowledge, I thought this to be a strange departure for (what I mistakenly considered) a humourist who got lucky. What this is is elegiac and expansive; a moving tribute to and a frank exploration of family and what remains when all seems lost. I’m giving this five stars: not because I think it’s the best thing I’ll ever read, but it did move me and I can’t imagine how Mansbach could have done it better.

I received an advanced copy of this book from the publisher and Netgalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

I do not typically read poetry, but I was in the mood for something real, something different with meaning. This book was not beautiful, it wasn't meant to be. It was real, however, and powerful. It was an author's voice at a different volume. In a different tone and with a different purpose. It was Adam's voice trying to shed the machine that made him successful, and instead, produce a genuine, hand-made work that meant more, though it wasn't as pretty or as a mainstream. It was perfect. In the way something should never be perfect. It paves a road for grief, mourning, mental illness, and love. A path that we wish didn't need paved, but it does, and too many ignore it. It had to be done, and I'm honored to have read it.

Don't see the word "poetry" and assume things will rhyme, or even had a satisfying rhythm...just know that it will express something meaningful in a new way, and it's worth reading.

This book was a very unique and devastating experience. Written in longform verse, Mansbach takes us through several stages of his grieving process: the night before he learned of his brothers death, the intense numb grief immediately following, the disbelief, the how you try to continue on with your life and not get sunk, the scrabbling to answers, the long years that his brother will never experience. I felt that the long sentence and poetic format worked especially well in the first section of the story, where everything runs together but is so distinct and memorable.

If you have ever lost a loved one to suicide, this book will hit especially hard.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a free eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Earlier this year I lost my uncle. He died by suicide. He didn’t leave a note. Although I was not as close with my uncle as Adam Mansbach was with his brother, I found this book to be therapeutic.

This work was haunting, touching, raw, beautiful...a glimpse into the author’s mind and his grief. I hope this was as therapeutic for Adam to write as it was for me to read. Thank you Adam Mansbach for sharing some of your most intimate thoughts with us to help us all heal.

Thank you to Adam Mansbach, Random House Publishing Group, and #NetGallery for an eARC of #IHadaBrotherOnce in return for an honest review. Review will be posted on NetGallery, Goodreads, and Facebook.