The title gives a rather misleading impression of this book, which is very science-heavy and serious. It was written by a neuroscience and covers the neurological reasons behind things like why we pick partners that remind us of the worst parts of our parents or can never keep up habit changes. There are nine chapters, which cover topics like communication, leadership, habits and relationships. It goes into heavy science about the types of things going on in the brain that cause us to make bad decisions and such. There are suggestions to correct these, but none are quick or easy. For instance, if you want to stop eating pastries one thing to do is make a list of the things that are most important to you and then make a list of like 50 good benefits to giving up pastries (look good in jeans, save money you can use on hobbies, increase health, etc.). It's very science-heavy. I'm a science geek and I found myself really tired of it before I got far into it, but it was still interesting information. There are a lot of examples of people (and the author) to illustrate her teachings. A summary at the end of each chapter reminds you of all the key takeaways for that topic.

I read a digital ARC of this book for review.

Thank you to NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book.

Dr. Gabija Toleikyte has written a very important book with a very unfortunate title. The appearance might try for edgy and current, but seems from the title and cover to be imitative of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Yes the Mark Manson book was a best seller and a big popular book, but that was 4 years ago. A book about change, shouldn't be derivative like that.

What the book offers is scientific evidence for why humans can't seem to get out of their own way. The science lingo might seem daunting, but the explanations are clear and many oh that's me and aha moments are had throughout. Plus the exercises and tools offered to get out or your rut are helpful and can be catered and adapted for most individuals. Don't let the cover fool you, it might seem the same as other books, but this book offers real hope for change.

This one explained how our brain works in relation to our bad habits. I found a lot of good practices in here that I want to apply to see if it helps with my own issues. You know a self help book is successful when there are practices in there that are unique to the individual and the reader actually wants to implement that advice. It was full of medical jargon but I learned a lot.

Thanks to Netgalley for the early review ARC.

A fabulous book that everyone should read!
Our minds are often our own worst enemy and it can be difficult to understand just why we think the way we do. This book, written by a neuroscientist, sets out to explain this. Even though it is an extremely detailed book that explains the science of our brains and bodies it is not overwhelming. Everything is explained in a straightforward and easy to understand way. The book itself is organised in very clear chapters with an introduction and summary of each chapter to help focus the information.
There is so much in this book from explanations to exercises to help focus and calm the mind that I will definitely keep referring to it. A must have book to support mental health.

I really enjoyed this book. It was very interesting to explore each section. I read this with a notebook & pen to truly explore each section in depth. This book is not just a reading book, it's a workbook.

This is a very informative book split out into nine separate sections each dealing with different issues around change and how we can actually put the steps in to bring about real and lasting change in our lives no matter what we want to achieve.

Why can’t I change? – it’s a question I ask myself on a regular basis, so when I saw the title of this book I couldn’t resist having a read of it.

This is a fascinating book. When a neuroscientist starts explaining to you in relatively layman terms how your brain works and what the different parts do and how that in turn affects other parts of the brain, you sit up and take note. As you read through the book, as well as being astounded at the cleverness of the brain, you also begin to realise that willpower alone is never going to work. I should mention though that just reading a book is never going to work either, so you need to be armed with a good notebook and a pen and be prepared to put in a lot of work yourself.

I’ve read loads of self help books and I think one of the things that stood out about this particular approach to guiding the reader is the author never tries to ‘sell’ you ideas. So often in self help books I find that the author will keep repeating themselves over and over on a given idea to the extent you begin to wonder who they’re trying to convince, you the reader or themselves. The writing in this book is kept to the point with clear and concise suggestions on how you should go about change with perhaps one real life example to explain the point. The other thing I liked was there wasn’t the constant citation of research data that you so often see in these kinds of books which I always find distracting.

The book is split up into sections but I would definitely recommend starting with section one which is changing habits, changing emotions and changing personality. The last one perhaps sounds more extreme than it actually is. You’ll still be the same old you, just with a better understanding of what makes you tick, and how you can improve some of the traits you might think you were born with but which you are actually able to work with and change to some extent. Among some of the other chapters are changing your productivity, changing your brain health and changing relationships.

I really enjoyed this fascinating book and will most definitely be going right back to the beginning, this time with a notebook to hand and much more time to digest and put into action some of the suggestions.

It’s time to calm your Amygdala, engage your PFC and trigger that neural plasticity into change, hopefully for the better.

Posted to Goodreads. To be posted to my blog nearer to time of publication or on publication date.

Such a great book about our habits, based on scientific facts, but very readable and easy to understand.

It offers all the knowledge about our own behaviour, why are we stuck and practical tools for creating change. We can know our true self by learning about the inner mechanisms of our brain, because our brains were designed to create and maintain habits to save energy and ensure quick reaction times.

Very inspiring and motivational guide!

Why the F*ck Can't I Change? Insights from a neuroscientist to show that you can by Dr. Gabija Toleikyte
Publisher: Thread Books
Genre: Health, Mind & Body | Self-Help
Release Date: January 21, 2021

Why the F*ck Can't I Change? by Dr. Gabija Toleikyte is a fascinating look at change.

The book is broken into three parts, which is then broken in to related chapters. Part one is called “Changing the Self” and focuses on your habits, emotions, and personality. Part two is called “Changing the Results” and focuses on changing your productivity, your brain health, and your decision-making. Part three is called “Changing Relationships” and focuses on changing your leadership, your relationships, and your communication.
This really is a great resource and contains so much information. It is easy to read and the author guides you along the way. This really was a fascinating read. I will definitely be re-reading it with a notebook to take notes!

I would recommend this to anyone who is struggling, feels stuck, or who wants to create better habits and results!

I'm so grateful to Dr. Gabija Toleikyte, Thread Books, and NetGalley for providing me with a free copy of this ARC ebook in exchange for my honest review.