This was a cute YA romance. However it also has a little suspense/ thriller built in which I really liked. There were some parts I found a little off putting but other than that I really liked this one!

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for allowing me to read this eArc! I really enjoyed it and thought it brought up some really interesting and important topics. It was also entertaining with great characters and even better character arcs.
This book is about a girl named Quinn. She journals EVERYTHING and makes lists as a form of comfort and getting her feelings out. These lists range from simple things to really deep things. Therefore her world is rocked when one day her journal is swapped with her classmate Carter and then he loses it. Someone finds it and starts to blackmail her by publicly posting her lists. By posting her lists, many of her lies and thoughts about other people are brought to the surface. The blackmailer tells her she has to do everything on her "things to do before I graduate" list which includes things like confessing her feelings to her long time crush/neighbor, experiencing the Austin nightlife, confessing a big lie to her parents, etc. She has lived in the safety of her list and her lies so the thought of doing so is terrifying. Carter, the only poor kid in their elite school, helps her because he was the one who lost her journal. I really liked seeing their friendship develop as well as the friendship between Quinn and his sister Olivia. There's a 4th to their crew named Auden and while he had a role, it was a little less impactful.
I loved what this book had to say about racism. Quinn's dad, a dark skinned wealthy black man, exhibits some very harmful racism towards Carter, even though they are of the same race. Furthermore, many of the kids friends say terrible things without thinking to Quinn because she's black. I loved when she stood up for herself and said something to the effect of "Its not my job to educate you when you're being arrogant." That is such a critical message!!
I also loved the forgiveness and grace that is exhibited in some female friendships, as well as the reality of some toxic friendships. I thought the big who dunnit was a little lackluster, but overall I really enjoyed this book.

SPOILER ALERT:
She ends up with Carter. She had been helping with a smear campaign against Olivia but she forgives her when she finds out. The blackmailer was a mutual friend over silly drama.

Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry

Quinn is a senior in high school and has a lot of secrets. Her biggest ones being that she lied to everyone about getting into Columbia University. She keeps everything in her journal...that goes missing. Then a blackmailer pops up and starts posting her darkest secrets on social media. With unexpected allies, Quinn and her allies set out to find out who the blackmailer is, while Quinn learns more about herself in the process.

This is such a self discovery story. Quinn, one of the few black kids in her entire school, and becoming friends with the few other black kids, and learns more about racism, micro aggressions, gaslighting, and how to be one with yourself and confident when calling out racists. Quinn’s growth is inspiring for all those who have always been too scared to call out racist statements for fear of loosing friends.

4⭐️

This is genuinely a great story for teenagers, it’s full of raw emotions, especially when revolving around race and status.

CW: racist language

Thank you @netgalley and @harper teen for this advance copy with audio.
Pub date: May 4th, 2021

I was really excited to see that this was coming out on audio, because I have been really looking forward to reading Goffney's book.

Quinn is coming up to the end of her high school career and is making different lists to help her figure out what she should do about telling her parents about not getting into Columbia. On top of that, she 's in love with her next door neighbor Matt. Then there's Carter, the hot boy in her group, that seems to get her on some levels, but annoys her on others. She makes all of these lists in her journal, which one day goes missing after a group meeting with Carter and Aiden. She's positive Carter and she's journal gets mixed, but plot twist, Carter misplaced it. The person who has gotten their hands on her journal is insisting that she finally finishes one of her lists, including being honest with her parents about Columbia. But Quinn is also worried about how much Carter actually saw from the journal before he lost it. So many lists and so much Quinn were in that journal. Who knows how much of Quinn could be exposed.

I am going to review this from the perspective of the book first. Firstly, I really enjoyed Quinn. I felt like for a teenager, she has a lot on her plate and felt like a typical modern teen. Trying to fit in, trying to figure out what was next and also feeling a little lost. I did find it a little odd that she wrote in a physical journal. It seemed a little antithesis of the modern world. But I guess everyone has their way of release. If Quinn finds the notebook vs an online blog a better forum, then okay. I also really dug the relationship that she and Carter built. Even though he knew quite a bit, he had to be able to have some chemistry with Quinn for that information to actually have some traction.

I was actually surprised with how much that Quinn saw race in her mind and how visual it was to her that we didn't see more of racism/racial issues in the school. That it ultimately didn't come through until the very end with Destiny and her friend was actually amazing. Especially considering that they were in Texas--but Austin being a big city may have lent to there being a little more acceptance? I'm not sure. I know race isn't something that a white person is as aware of, so maybe that construct isn't always there for Quinn because she can't ignore. I guess with the way it's relayed, I was expecting for there to be more issues in the predominantly white school.

Overall, I really did enjoy the book. I felt like it was a great first foray.

The audiobook. I did not enjoy the audio version of this. I think it did a grave injustice to the book that Harper didn't wait for it to be recorded by a human being to release it. Firstly and I am gonna say it, the automated voice sounded like a white person. Hearing a white person say the word 'nigger' was very uncomfortable. It felt like a disservice to the characters to not have an #ownvoices narrator telling the story. It made a lot of the emotion in the story fall flat. You want a good review of an audiobook? Give the book an actual narrator. I'm sorry, but this book would have gotten a better star rating from me if it had had proper consideration/respect from the publisher by having an actual narrator. It deserved better.

Thank you very much for the advanced copy. Joya--I so look forward to reading more!

A missing journal leads to blackmail. Face your fears or have them posted on Instagram. Through the journey of facing her fears, Quinn finds herself; admits to her mistakes; becomes accepting; and falls in love. #bullying #racism #JoyaGoffney @NetGalley

I really enjoyed this book, I went into it mostly blind and I feel like I was expecting something lighter from the cover design. I loved the depth and discussions of race that were in this book and feel like it definitely gives perspective into the difficulty within multi race friendships, especially when a friend tries to remain "color blind". I found the self discovery to be really raw and beautiful. I especially connected with Quinn when it came to her complicated family relationships and found some moments in particular really touching with her grandma. I really hope this book reaches a lot of people and definitely recommend it.

Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry drew me in with not only the title but also the fact that it's about a list maker who is blackmailed into doing some of her worst fears.

This was a wonderful contemporary YA and I enjoyed how racism was discussed in this. Quinn talks about what it's like to go from having no Black friends to making Black friends that understand what she's going though.

I enjoyed watching Quinn grow and develop new friendships that helped her become herself. This was a story with first love and a relatable main character.

I was pleasantly surprised by this book. Not going to lie, the cover drew me in! A YA romance with POC? Sign me up right now please!

Quinn is a senior in high school and an avid list maker. Everything she is, does, or plans to do, goes in the journal. It tells all of her deepest secrets and desires and has been a companion throughout her life.

However, after Carter, a young black boy who judges Quinn initially for not being black enough, comes to study, they accident switch up journals. Planning on returning it to Quinn the following day, he ends up using it and it is soon found by an unknown party who starts black mailing Quinn to complete things on her list or they will make her journal go live.

At first, Quinn was sure that Carter was the one that is doing the blackmailing to force her out of her comfort zone, but the more she gets to know Quinn, the more she realizes that she also judged him wrong. They work together to complete the things on her list. Not only that, but Carter also helps Quinn realize she has put up with racism for far too long because she doesn’t believe she was “black enough” to say anything.

This story also takes place in Austin, Texas, which is where I live! So I loved that connection because I could so picture where they were going.

Such a cute and fun read, I definitely recommend it to contemporary romance lovers!

I really enjoyed listening to this book! It brought such a great perspective to understanding the characters and it was easy to listen to! Would recommend!

The book has an interesting premise, but I can't get past the synthetic voice. I wish this was a review copy of the audiobook instead.

When I signed up for this book I did not realize that I had requested the audio book. The voice was synthetic, and for me the narrator makes a huge difference when listening to an audio book. Because of the voice I was unable to focus, but I will be checking this book out in some other format.

This book is very cute, and I enjoyed the experience of hearing it read it to as opposed to reading it. The plot of growing and learning just who you want to be is blended quite nicely with standing up for yourself and your beliefs.

What do you do when your personal journal goes missing. That has lists and secrets in there.
Excuse me while I ugly Cry is that story. Someone finds her journal and starts a Instagram account and starts blackmailing Quinn to do her list before graduation. To set up telling people hard truths and go outside her comfort zone. Quinn is someone that doesn't like to speak up to her friends. To her family. She's someone who doesn't want to ruffle any feathers. But doing this things on this list will make things better. Even though she has to go through so much to get to the good side. With the help of Carter she starts her tasks (even though he could be the blackmailer) With the Instagram account they mean business and start posting her secrets from the journal.

I felt this was a strong story about telling the truth and letting people see your truth to not be afraid to tell your world the truth. She finds herself and some true friends in this story. Also High schoolers can be Really mean. Carter helps her become a more confident person I loved all of her list. Her parents put a lot of pressure on her and she had to get through to them that shes strong and needs to follow her on path. This was a really cute book. And I loved the new friendships she makes in this story and how the bully never wins.

Thank you to NetGalley and Harper Audio for the digital review copy.

Initially I was a bit thrown off with the list in this book, but I gave the story a chance and I must say I loved it. Seeing how Quinn was able to use a forced situation to learn who she was as a person despite the expectations of others was very refreshing. I recommend this book for young and old alike. Although this book was geared towards a younger demographic I believe we all can learn a bit about overcoming obstacles with the lessons demonstrated in this story.
Thank you #JoyaGoffney #HarperCollins and #NetGalley for this awesome story #ExcuseMeWhileIUglyCry

This book really took me back to my high school days. (Thankfully, I have never been blackmailed.) The message of this book is a journey that teens experience. As they (and even us as adults) navigate through life, situations happen to force us to face our fears and overcome the obstacles before us.

This story follows Quinn Jackson who has a habit of making various lists, including a to-do list for graduation. Though she has no plans to actually complete it, her blackmailer is forcing her to through exposing some of her greatest secrets. As Quinn completes the tasks, she begins to grow closer to Carter and Olivia, while still questioning who she can trust.

I enjoyed this book thoroughly. It's a quick read and takes the reader on a great adventure.

Thank you to Net galley for this Advanced Audiobook in exchange for an honest review.

This book is perfect for fans of "To All The Boys I've Loved before". Quinn is an avid list maker and she only puts her lists into a notebook. These lists could end Quinn if it got into the wrong hands and that is exactly what happens. After a mix-up during a homework session Carter has suddenly gotten Quinn's notebook and then lost it and if that wasn't bad enough he lost it after 1st period.... Queue the blackmail. Quinn suddenly gets text messages from an unknown number demanding she complete the to do list or the rest of her book will be exposed on Instagram.

Well, I loved the general premise and the main characters are well rounded and developed. Overall, the discussions about race and racism were great. Before the start of the book, Quin has no other black friends and seemed to have fallen out with white friends (it passed off as a boy disputed until later we find out it was the fact that they were racist.) It also does a great job discussing dealing with parental expectations and an aging a sick grandparent.
My only issue was the plot pacing seemed a bit off, specifically the ending. The book starts to set up a love triangle between the boy next door and Carter (who starts as an enemy and possible blackmailer). This love triangle never goes anywhere and the boy next store slowly disappears with no explanation (even though he is Quinn's best friend). It is also set up to look like he might be the blackmailer, but suddenly Quinn and Olivia just figure out who it is and why they did it. They go and confront Quinn's former best friends who took the book because they were mad at her for leaving. Everything seemed to wrap up too nicely at the end.

However, overall this book was good and I will definitely be recommending it to my teens who love romance.

I really enjoyed this novel. It was a fun time.

The characters and plot were really interesting and made the novel very enjoyable. I feel like it could have gone a little deeper but more depth definitely would have changed the mood of the novel so the level of depth was probably a conscious decision.

The novel addresses racism in a very approachable way that anyone can understand. Despite addressing racism, the book still had a very light feeling.

This novel is a romance but the romantic relationship does not take over the novel. There is enough romance to make it fun and enjoyable but there is depth outside of the relationship.

The only issue I had was that I feel like the blackmailer’s motive/actions did not make sense? You can probably ignore this though as there is not much emphasis on this topic. I cannot go into this without spoilers so I’ll leave it by saying that it didn’t feel thought out enough.

On a personal note, I did cry. Some of the stuff just really hit home. I wouldn’t call it a sad book though, just a few sad moments.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book and would recommend it.

This book was so much fun, I absolutely loved it, and flew through it. It follows Quinn, a teenage Black girl who loves making lists of all kinds of things; her biggest fears, dreams, and to-do lists of things she's terrified of doing. Her notebook guides all her secrets until the day when it gets lost. The worst part? Someone starts blackmailing her and reveals parts of the journal. Quinn ends up working with Carter so that they can find who's behind it and stop them. Things go on from there.

I feel like this book is the perfect blend of a coming-of-age story and a romance. It explores Quinn's journey as she tries to face her fears, as she learns things about herself, and becomes braver and more confident. And it also shows the beautiful journey of the romance between Quinn and Carter. I love coming-of-age stories but I'm also a sucker for romance and I feel like I don't always completely adore the romances in YA books. This one though, I completely fell in love with.

The main characters are flawed and they make mistakes but you can't help but love them for it. It's such a sweet, heartfelt, and honest story. I was so invested in it since page one and you should all add it to your TBRs and pre-order it!!! It's also an older YA where the MCs are thinking about college which is my absolute favorite. So if you tend to gravitate towards older YA, you definitely need to check it out! If you're also a romance reader like me and you crave romance-driven stories, I think this will satiate your craving for that too!

I had a really difficult time listening because of the narration- which is my fault for not noticing it wasn't an actual preview of the audiobook. It was hard to follow and keep everything straight. I will definitely give this book another try when the true audiobook comes out or read a hard copy. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an ARC.

Thank you to Net Galley and Harper Teen for an ALC of Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry!

What do you do when someone starts leaking lists from your private journal, including the secret that you were not in fact accepted into Columbia? Excuse Me While I Ugly Cry follows Quinn. She's lied to everyone that she's going to Columbia, including her parents, and now that the whole school knows, she can do nothing but follows the demands of the person blackmailing her and leaking pages from her journal.

Reading this book really just made me hate high school all over ago. I went to school in a wealthier city, but unlike most of my classmates, I couldn't afford to go off to a fancy university. There's a lot of great discussion in this book about race, weath, and universities, so I really appreciated this author shedding a light on it.

On the other hand, I did find the pacing to be a bit all over the place, and there were some step by step story telling that wasn't necessary. Overall I'd rate it a 3.75, mostly because of the pacing and unnecessary tidbits, but I really enjoyed the topic and the important discussion in this book.